A Buddhist Antidote To Fear And Anxiety | Devin Berry
Devin Berry, a Dharma teacher at Spirit Rock and IMS, discusses Metta meditation, the four Brahma Viharas, and Dana (generosity). He explains why mindfulness alone is insufficient and how these practices can transform a "prickly aversive personality."
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to Metta and Devin Berry's Background
Devin's Personal Journey into Meditation and Metta
Initial Resistance and Eventual Embrace of Metta
Defining Metta: Loving Kindness Practice and Customization
Metta as an Antidote to Separation and Hatred
The Four Brahma Viharas: Metta, Karuna, Mudita, Upekka
Practicing Karuna (Compassion) and Mudita (Sympathetic Joy)
Practicing Upekka (Equanimity)
Mythology of the Buddha Inventing Metta Practice
The Metta Sutta: Its Meaning and Approachability
Why Mindfulness Alone is Not Enough: Importance of Other Practices
Dana (Generosity) as a Practice and Its Impact
Generosity as a Form of Letting Go and Dissolving Ego
Devin's Year-Long Metta and Dana Experiment (2023)
Metta as a Concentration Tool and Its Relation to Jhanas
8 Key Concepts
Metta (Loving Kindness)
A quality of the heart involving well-wishing, friendliness, benevolence, and goodwill towards oneself and others. In formal practice, it involves envisioning beings and systematically sending them good vibes via customized phrases, focusing on the feeling beneath the words.
Brahma Viharas (Divine Abodes)
Four interconnected qualities of the heart or states of mind from Buddhist cosmology: Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upekka (equanimity). They work hand-in-hand, with Metta often being foundational, and can arise naturally through insight practice.
Karuna (Compassion)
The quality of the heart that arises from touching one's own or another's suffering, leading to a wish for that person to be well and free from suffering. It involves sitting with difficult feelings without turning away, often leading to a desire for action to help.
Mudita (Sympathetic Joy)
The opposite of schadenfreude; it's the practice of being happy for others' happiness and success. It involves bringing to mind someone doing well and wishing for their joy and success to continue, often cultivated more easily after Metta practice.
Upekka (Equanimity)
The capacity to stand in the middle of all experiences without collapsing, accepting the reality of the present moment as it is. It involves pausing, acknowledging what is happening, and being with difficult feelings without immediately strategizing or trying to change them.
Dana (Generosity)
A Buddhist term for generosity, which can manifest as financial support, generosity of spirit, service, or volunteering. It is considered a crucial practice that helps dissolve the sense of a separate self and fosters gratitude, leading to a sense of release.
Metta Sutta
A Buddhist scripture (sutta) containing the Buddha's teaching on loving kindness. It describes the qualities of a person skilled in goodness and advocates for radiating boundless kindness to all living beings, serving as an aspirational guide for Metta practice.
Jhanas
States of high concentration or absorption in meditation, often associated with profound bliss. While Metta can be a concentration practice that could lead to Jhanas, the desire or wanting to achieve them can actually be a barrier to their experience.
13 Questions Answered
Metta, or loving kindness meditation, involves envisioning a series of beings (including oneself) and systematically sending them good wishes through phrases like "May you be happy, may you be safe." It aims to cultivate feelings of goodwill, friendliness, and benevolence.
Many people, including the guest and host, initially find Metta practice to seem "cheesy" or "treacly" due to its focus on sending good vibes, especially if they have a skeptical or aversive personality.
No, the point of Metta practice is not necessarily to experience soaring unconditional love, but rather to incline the mind towards non-ill will and non-hatred. Sometimes, simply feeling "okay" or "not going to harm you" is enough.
Metta cultivates non-separation, helping individuals see others as fellow human beings with shared desires for well-being, even amidst differences. This allows for engagement with the world from a place of clarity rather than hatred, acting as a "cleaner burning fuel" for advocacy.
The four Brahma Viharas, or divine abodes, are Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upekka (equanimity). These are interconnected qualities of the heart that can be cultivated through specific practices.
Karuna practice often involves bringing to mind a situation or being experiencing suffering and resting with the twinge in the heart that arises from wishing them well. Phrases like "May I be held in the heart of compassion" or "I'm so sorry" can be used as pointers to connect with this feeling.
Mudita practice involves bringing to mind someone who is doing well or experiencing happiness and wishing for their joy to continue or increase. It can be cultivated by riding the wave of warmth from Metta practice and using phrases like "May your joy continue."
Equanimity involves pausing and accepting the present moment as it is, without immediately trying to strategize or change it. One can practice by sitting solidly like a mountain, bringing a difficult situation to mind, and using phrases like "Tatra Majatata" (standing in the middle of all this) or "Right now, it's like this" to acknowledge reality.
The mythology suggests the Buddha prescribed Metta practice as an antidote to fear and a form of protection for monks disturbed by forest spirits, implying its role in calming the mind and fostering a sense of safety.
No, the episode suggests that mindfulness alone is not a cure-all. Other practices like Metta, Dana (generosity), and the other Brahma Viharas are crucial, especially for those who find insight practice difficult or who seek a more holistic path.
Dana can be practiced by actively looking for ways to help others, volunteering, offering financial support, or simply extending generosity of spirit in daily interactions. It can also involve cultivating gratitude and seeing oneself as part of an interconnected web.
Generosity is seen as a direct form of letting go, as it involves releasing attachment to possessions, self-identity, and the need to acquire. It helps dissolve the ego and fosters a sense of interconnectedness, which is fundamental to the path of liberation.
Yes, Metta is a concentration practice that, with consistent and continuous engagement, can lead to deeper levels of mind unification (samadhi) and potentially Jhanas. However, the desire to achieve Jhanas can be a barrier; it's best to cultivate Metta for its own sake.
20 Actionable Insights
1. Practice Loving Kindness (Metta)
Systematically envision a series of beings (people or animals) and send them good wishes using phrases like ‘May you be happy, may you be safe.’ This practice is an antidote to fear and can yield psychological, physiological, and behavioral benefits.
2. Cultivate All Four Brahma Viharas
Engage with the four ‘divine abodes’ – loving kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), sympathetic joy (mudita), and equanimity (upekka) – as interconnected qualities of the heart. Practicing these in concert helps open the heart and mind, even if not formally practiced individually.
3. Practice Generosity (Dana) & Service
Frame your life with gratitude and actively seek opportunities to help others, whether financially, through volunteering, or by offering your authentic self. This practice helps dissolve the sense of a separate ‘self’ and fosters a spirit of letting go.
4. Customize Metta Phrases
Create or customize Metta phrases that deeply resonate with you, rather than strictly adhering to classical ones. This helps you connect with the underlying feeling of goodwill, friendliness, and benevolence, making the practice more meaningful.
5. Initiate Metta with Joy
Begin your Metta practice by recalling something joyful or humorous to ‘prime the pump’ and reframe your mindset. This makes the practice feel less forced and more accessible, setting a positive tone.
6. Start Metta with Easy Beings
Begin your Metta rotation by visualizing ’easy’ beings like pets or loved ones, then move to yourself, mentors, neutral people, difficult people, and finally all beings. This builds a foundation of warmth before addressing more challenging targets.
7. Focus Metta on Non-Ill Will
Understand that the primary goal of Metta is not necessarily to feel soaring unconditional love, but to cultivate a feeling of non-ill will or non-hatred. This realistic expectation makes the practice more sustainable and less prone to discouragement.
8. Use Metta for Engagement
Practice Metta to foster non-separation from others and to stay engaged with the world, advocating for what is needed from a place of non-hatred. This ‘cleaner burning fuel’ can lead to more effective and sustained action without being passive.
9. Practice Compassion (Karuna) with Feeling
Bring to mind suffering beings or situations and connect with the heart’s natural ’twinge’ of wanting them to be well. You can use phrases like ‘May you be free from suffering’ or simply sit with the raw feeling of compassion.
10. Practice Sympathetic Joy (Mudita)
Bring to mind successful or joyful people and wish for their happiness to continue or increase, even if you initially feel jealousy. This practice can be enhanced by rolling into it from Metta and by visualizing their genuine happiness.
11. Practice Equanimity (Upekka) by Pausing
Cultivate the capacity to ‘stand in the middle of all of this’ by pausing, taking a few breaths, and acknowledging the present moment reality without immediately strategizing or trying to change it. You can use phrases like ‘Right now, it’s like this’ or the mantra ‘Tatra Majatata’.
12. Bear Witness with Equanimity
Practice equanimity by bearing witness to suffering without feeling shame or guilt for not being able to fix everything. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the reality of a difficult situation is a profound act of presence and acceptance.
13. Integrate Generosity into Daily Life
Seek opportunities for generosity in everyday interactions, such as engaging in meaningful conversations with strangers or tipping generously. This fosters connection and a pervasive spirit of giving, impacting your own well-being.
14. Deepen Relationships Through Generosity
Extend generosity to family, partners, and friends by showing more of your heart and offering direct support. This can deepen connections and reduce self-focused behaviors, fostering stronger bonds.
15. Mindfulness Alone Is Not Enough
Understand that while mindfulness (insight practice) is important, it is not a complete solution. Integrate other practices like Metta, generosity, and ethical principles for a more holistic and balanced path to well-being.
16. Accept Gradual, Messy Improvement
Approach meditation as a process of ‘messy, marginal improvement over time’ rather than expecting immediate miracles or grand catharsis. This mindset reduces pressure and encourages consistent, sustainable practice.
17. Cultivate Wholesome Conditions
Engage in practices like service and generosity to help clear and settle the mind, creating helpful conditions that support deeper meditation and insight. These actions contribute to a more receptive state for practice.
18. Avoid Grasping for Peak Experiences
If you intensely ‘want’ a specific peak experience in meditation, this desire can become a barrier to its attainment. Instead, cultivate the practice for its own sake and allow what unfolds to happen naturally.
19. Embrace the Journey of Practice
Recognize that meditation is beneficial at every stage, regardless of whether you achieve ultimate goals, as it is ‘good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end.’ The practice itself provides value throughout your journey.
20. Be With Difficult Feelings Mindfully
Through mindfulness, develop the capacity to simply ‘be with’ difficult feelings like shame, guilt, or fear, observing them without immediately strategizing or turning away. This allows for deeper understanding and acceptance.
7 Key Quotes
If you're new to this practice, meta, it basically involves envisioning a series of beings, either people or animals, and systematically sending them good vibes via phrases such as, may you be happy, may you be safe, etc., etc. At first blush, for many of us, it can seem a little cheesy, but the science here is incredibly compelling.
Dan Harris
I just noticed that by the time my 30, 45 minute train ride, by the time I got off the train in downtown San Francisco, I was tight, like physically tight looking at me. If I had a mirror, there was probably a bit of a scowl on my face as well. I knew everyone else's story. I knew what they were doing and they were stopping me and on and on and on.
Devin Berry
I thought it was complete BS. I was convinced that it was something made up by some hippies in Marin County in California at Spirit Rock. I just, I couldn't imagine that this was actual part of some ancient spiritual teachings.
Devin Berry
If that happens right off the bat, great. But I think that's a rabbit hole, a mistake that people fall into. And oftentimes I'm never practicing again. I don't understand why I have to do this. It's because they're wanting to be bathed in brilliant white light, just being lifted slightly six inches off the floor.
Devin Berry
Because our culture is driving our heads up our own asses all the time because we live in an individualistic culture. We live in a social media culture where we're all encouraged to be creating our own brands. So we feel separate from and afraid of other people. And this practice is like an antidote.
Dan Harris
I can still have compassion for someone and know that they also need to face the consequences of whatever it is that they're involved in as well.
Devin Berry
Meditation is like this fucked up video game where if you want to move forward, you can't move forward. You have to get the mind into this neutral spot.
Dan Harris
4 Protocols
Metta (Loving Kindness) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry (with input from Dan Harris and Spring Washam)- Start with a little bit of humor or joy to 'prime the pump' (e.g., recalling a funny memory).
- Begin by directing well-wishing towards an 'easy being' (e.g., a pet or child).
- Progress to directing well-wishing towards oneself.
- Continue by directing well-wishing towards a mentor or benefactor.
- Move to a neutral person (someone you see often but don't have strong feelings about).
- Direct well-wishing towards a difficult person (start with someone mildly annoying).
- Conclude by directing well-wishing towards all beings everywhere.
- Use customized phrases that have meaning for you (e.g., 'May I be happy and peaceful,' 'May I be safe and protected,' 'May I live with ease and well-being').
- Focus on connecting with the sense and feeling underneath the phrases, allowing the words to dissolve into the feeling.
Compassion (Karuna) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Bring to mind a situation or being experiencing suffering.
- Rest with the 'twinge in the heart' that happens from wishing this person to be well.
- Acknowledge that feeling as compassion, sitting with it and breathing in and out.
- If needed, use phrases like 'May I be held in the heart of compassion,' 'I'm so sorry,' or 'May you be free from suffering' as pointers.
- Allow the practice to potentially move you into action to help, but also recognize that sometimes bearing witness is enough.
Sympathetic Joy (Mudita) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Begin, if possible, by rolling from a Metta practice to ride on the wave of warmth already present.
- Bring to mind a situation or person who is doing well, successful, or experiencing joy.
- Picture them, recalling their smile, laughter, or a brief memory of their happiness.
- Use phrases such as 'May your joy continue,' 'May you not be separated from joy and contentment,' or 'May your joy increase.'
- Sit with the initial flash of memory or visualization and allow that sense of joy to grow.
Equanimity (Upekka) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Adopt a solid posture, 'rooted like a mountain,' and connect with the breath.
- Bring forward a challenging situation or difficult moment that you want to practice with.
- Visualize the challenge or difficult moment.
- Use a phrase or mantra like 'Tatra Majatata' (standing in the middle of all this) or 'Right now, it's like this' to acknowledge and accept the present reality.
- Sit with whatever feelings arise without immediately strategizing, figuring out, or planning.
- Allow yourself to 'be with this' and accept the present moment as it is, knowing that planning can happen later.