A Buddhist Antidote To Fear And Anxiety | Devin Berry
Devin Berry, a Core Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, discusses his transformation from a skeptic through loving-kindness (metta) and generosity (dana) practices. He explains metta as an antidote to fear and a key part of the four Brahma Viharas, emphasizing its role in fostering non-separation and engaged action.
Deep Dive Analysis
10 Topic Outline
Introduction to Devin Berry and Metta Meditation
Devin Berry's Personal Journey to Meditation
Initial Resistance and Breakthrough with Metta Practice
Defining Metta and its Core Principles
The Four Brahma Viharas: Metta, Karuna, Mudita, Upeka
The Mythological Origin of Metta Practice
Why Mindfulness Alone is Insufficient
The Practice of Dana (Generosity)
Devin's Year-Long Metta and Dana Experiment
Metta as a Concentration Tool and the Jhanas
7 Key Concepts
Metta (Loving Kindness)
Metta is one of the four Brahma Viharas, representing the quality of well-wishing, friendliness, benevolence, and goodwill towards oneself and others. The practice involves systematically sending good vibes via customized phrases, focusing on connecting with the underlying sense and feeling rather than just the words.
Brahma Viharas
These are four 'divine abodes' or qualities of the heart from Buddhist teachings: Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upeka (equanimity). They are interconnected and work hand-in-hand, often arising naturally even during insight meditation as the mind quiets and the heart opens.
Karuna (Compassion)
Karuna is the quality of heart that arises from witnessing suffering, either one's own or another's, and wishing for that suffering to cease. The practice involves bringing a situation or being to mind and connecting with the 'twinge in the heart' that desires their well-being, sometimes using phrases like 'May you be free from suffering.'
Mudita (Sympathetic Joy)
Mudita is the opposite of schadenfreude, representing the ability to feel happy for others' happiness and success without jealousy or envy. The practice involves bringing to mind someone doing well and wishing for their joy to continue or increase, often picturing their smile or laughter to cultivate that feeling.
Upeka (Equanimity)
Upeka is the capacity to stand in the middle of all experiences, acknowledging the present moment reality as it is without immediately strategizing or trying to change it. It involves pausing, taking a few breaths, and allowing whatever feelings arise to be present, fostering a sense of acceptance rather than aversion.
Dana (Generosity)
Dana is the Pali term for generosity, which is considered a crucial practice in Buddhism, extending beyond financial giving to include generosity of spirit and service. It involves asking 'where or how can I help?' and actively seeking opportunities to give, which helps dissolve the sense of a separate 'self' and fosters interconnectedness.
Jhanas
Jhanas are states of high concentration or absorption that can arise from consistent and continuous meditation practice, including Metta. They are associated with profound levels of unification of mind (samadhi) and can bring about intense bliss, though the pursuit of them with too much 'wanting' can hinder their attainment.
7 Questions Answered
Metta, or loving kindness meditation, is a practice of systematically sending good wishes to oneself and others using customized phrases like 'May I be happy and peaceful.' The goal is to connect with the genuine sense and feeling of goodwill beneath the words, fostering benevolence and friendliness.
No, the effectiveness of Metta does not depend on feeling intense love or bliss. It is enough to cultivate a feeling of 'okayness,' non-ill will, or simply not being angry, as the practice aims for marginal, messy improvement over time rather than immediate catharsis or peak experiences.
The Brahma Viharas are four 'divine abodes' in Buddhist teachings: Metta (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upeka (equanimity). Metta is considered a foundational practice among them, and all four qualities are interconnected, supporting each other and often arising naturally during meditation.
For Karuna, bring a suffering situation or being to mind and connect with the heart's desire for their well-being, sometimes using phrases like 'May you be free from suffering.' For Mudita, bring to mind someone's happiness or success and wish for their joy to continue, often picturing their positive state to cultivate joy without jealousy.
Equanimity is the ability to acknowledge and be present with reality as it is, without immediate judgment or attempts to change it. Formally, it can be practiced by sitting solidly like a mountain, bringing a difficult situation to mind, and using phrases like 'Tatra Maja Tata' (standing in the middle of all of this) or 'Right now, it's like this' to accept the present moment.
While mindfulness is important, focusing solely on it can be insufficient, especially for individuals facing trauma or difficulty accessing insight practices. Other practices like Metta (loving kindness) and Dana (generosity) are crucial for cultivating wholesome states of mind, opening the heart, and fostering engagement with the world beyond individual awareness.
Dana can be systematized by actively looking for opportunities to help, whether through volunteering, supporting others financially, or offering generosity of spirit. It involves cultivating a mindset of gratitude and service, which helps to dissolve self-centeredness and fosters a sense of interconnectedness.
20 Actionable Insights
1. Cultivate Metta for Fear/Anger
Practice loving-kindness (Metta) meditation, which involves sending good wishes to yourself and others, as it was originally designed as an antidote to fear and can help soothe anger and reconnect with your body.
2. Personalize Metta Phrases
Create or customize Metta phrases that resonate deeply with you, then focus on connecting with the underlying sense and feeling of those words rather than just reciting them mechanically, similar to how you rest attention on your breath.
3. Start Metta with Easy Beings
Begin your Metta practice by directing loving-kindness towards ’easy people’ like pets, children, or mentors to generate positive feelings and prime your mind before extending the practice to yourself or more challenging individuals.
4. Embrace Subtle Metta Shifts
Do not expect a grand catharsis or breakthrough in Metta practice; success often manifests as subtle shifts like feeling ‘okay,’ non-ill will, or a general sense of balance, which is a valuable outcome.
5. Metta for Non-Separation
Use Metta to cultivate a sense of non-separation, seeing others as fellow human beings with shared desires for well-being, which helps reduce isolating thoughts, hatred, and allows for engaged interaction without hostility.
6. Integrate Brahma Viharas
Recognize that Metta (loving-kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy), and Upeka (equanimity) are interconnected heart qualities; practicing one often strengthens the others, leading to a more balanced and open heart.
7. Beyond Mindfulness: Generosity
Understand that mindfulness alone is not a complete solution; integrate practices like generosity (Dana), Metta, and ethical principles, especially if insight meditation is challenging or if you’re dealing with trauma.
8. Practice Generosity (Dana)
Cultivate generosity (Dana) not only financially but also through generosity of spirit, being your authentic self, and offering service to others, as this acts as a form of ’letting go’ and dissolves self-centeredness.
9. Practice Compassion (Karuna)
To practice compassion, bring a suffering situation or being to mind and connect with the heartfelt desire for their well-being, using phrases like ‘May you be free from suffering’ or simply sitting with the feeling of not turning away from their pain.
10. Practice Sympathetic Joy (Mudita)
Cultivate sympathetic joy by bringing to mind someone else’s success or happiness and wishing for their joy to continue or increase, even if you initially feel jealousy, as this is a mental exercise that nudges you towards non-envy.
11. Practice Equanimity (Upeka)
Develop equanimity by pausing and acknowledging ’this is what is happening right now’ without immediately strategizing or trying to change it, allowing yourself to be present with whatever feelings arise.
12. Use Humor to Prime Metta
Begin your Metta practice with a touch of humor or joy, such as recalling a funny memory, to ‘prime the pump’ and create an easy, open state of mind before starting the formal phrases.
13. Follow Metta Progression
Follow the classical Metta progression: direct loving-kindness to an easy person, then yourself, a mentor, a neutral person, a mildly difficult person, and finally, all beings everywhere to systematically expand your compassion.
14. Metta for Concentration
Utilize Metta as a concentration practice; consistent engagement with the phrases and feelings can help unify the mind and lead to deeper states of absorption (Samadhi), though without attachment to specific outcomes.
15. Release Wanting in Meditation
When meditating, avoid ‘wanting’ a specific outcome or experience, as this desire can hinder progress; instead, cultivate the practice for its own sake and allow what unfolds to do so naturally.
16. Value All Dharma Stages
Embrace the understanding that Dharma practice is ‘good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end,’ meaning the benefits are present throughout your journey, regardless of whether you achieve ultimate goals.
17. Digest High Aspirations Gradually
When encountering aspirational texts like the Metta Sutta, which describe boundless kindness, approach them in ‘small, bite-sized pieces’ and focus on foundational practices (like easy beings) before aiming for universal love.
18. Experiment with Dana & Metta
Consider undertaking a personal experiment focused on deepening generosity (Dana) and Metta in your daily life, as Devin did by connecting with and being generous to people like Uber drivers, to foster connection and service.
19. Temper Negative Traits
Consciously reduce ‘snappy, sarcastic, dry’ personality traits and instead show more of your heart to deepen relationships with family, partners, and friends, fostering greater connection and support.
20. Bear Witness with Compassion
In situations of suffering where direct action isn’t possible, practice compassion by simply ‘bearing witness’ to another’s pain without succumbing to shame or guilt for not being able to ‘fix’ everything.
5 Key Quotes
If I had a mirror, there was probably a bit of a scowl on my face as well. I knew everyone else's story. I knew what they were doing. And they were stopping me and on and on and on. So it's really where I was. It was hypercritical voices turned on myself and turned on other people.
Devin Berry
I don't understand why I have to do this. It's because they're wanting, right, to be bathed in brilliant white light, just being lifted slightly, six inches off the floor.
Devin Berry
It helps me be in the world. It helps us to be in the world. It helps us to engage with the world. It actually, the Metta practice allows me at times to take a little break from this idea that I need to take care of everything at all times for everyone.
Devin Berry
Meditation is like this fucked up video game where if you want to move forward, you can't move forward. You have to get the mind into this neutral spot.
Dan Harris
It's good in the beginning, it's good in the middle, but it's good in the end. So you may not make it to the quote unquote end, enlightenment, whatever that means, but it's good no matter what and where and how much you're doing.
Dan Harris
5 Protocols
Metta (Loving Kindness) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry and Dan Harris (describing classical progression)- Start with a 'pump-priming' activity, such as recalling a joyful or humorous memory (e.g., Devin's story of his parents' afros) to cultivate a sense of ease and joy.
- Begin by sending good wishes to an 'easy being' (e.g., a pet, a child, or someone you naturally feel warmth towards), using customized phrases that resonate with you (e.g., 'May you be happy and peaceful', 'May you be safe and protected', 'May you live with ease and well-being').
- Progress to sending good wishes to a mentor or benefactor, someone who has supported you.
- Direct good wishes towards yourself, connecting with the sense and feeling beneath the phrases.
- Extend good wishes to a neutral person, someone you see often but don't have strong feelings about (e.g., a barista, a bus driver).
- Move on to a 'difficult person,' ideally someone mildly annoying rather than extremely harmful, to cultivate non-ill will.
- Conclude by radiating loving kindness to 'all beings everywhere,' encompassing the entire world.
Karuna (Compassion) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Bring to mind a situation or a being that is experiencing suffering.
- Connect with the 'twinge in the heart' that arises from witnessing this suffering and the genuine wish for this person to be well.
- Rest with this feeling of compassion, breathing in and out with it, acknowledging the sensations in the body.
- Optionally, use phrases like 'May you be held in the heart of compassion,' 'I'm so sorry,' or 'May you be free from suffering' to deepen the connection, ensuring they have personal meaning.
- Allow the practice to potentially move you into action to help, but also recognize that sometimes bearing witness to suffering is the extent of what can be done in the moment.
Mudita (Sympathetic Joy) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Ensure a foundation of Metta practice, as sympathetic joy often arises more easily when riding on the wave of loving kindness.
- Bring to mind a situation or a being that is experiencing joy, success, or well-being.
- Actively wish for their joy to continue and increase, using phrases such as 'May your joy continue' or 'May you not be separated from joy and contentment.'
- Visualize them smiling or laughing, or recall a specific memory of their happiness, and allow that initial 'flashed memory' to grow into a felt sense of joy within yourself.
- Practice this as a mental exercise to nudge yourself towards non-envy and non-hostility, even if feelings of jealousy are present initially.
Upeka (Equanimity) Meditation Practice
Devin Berry- Adopt a solid posture, like 'being rooted like a mountain,' and connect with your breath.
- Bring forward a challenging situation, a difficult moment, or a being that you wish to practice equanimity with.
- Pause for a moment and acknowledge 'this is happening,' allowing whatever feelings (e.g., shame, guilt, fear) to arise without immediately strategizing or trying to change them.
- Use a mantra or phrase like 'Tatra Maja Tata' (standing in the middle of all of this) or 'Right now, it's like this' to help ground yourself in the present moment reality.
- Sit with the reality of the situation, accepting it as it is in that moment, understanding that figuring out solutions can come later.
Dana (Generosity) Practice
Devin Berry- Frame your daily interactions and decisions with gratitude and the question, 'Where can I help?' or 'How can I help?'
- Engage in acts of service, such as volunteering your time, sharing your teachings, or meeting with students.
- Practice financial generosity when possible, supporting those around you or causes you believe in.
- Cultivate 'generosity of spirit' by being your authentic self and connecting with others (e.g., engaging in meaningful conversations with service providers).
- Recognize that both receiving and offering generosity can foster feelings of goodwill, benevolence, and kindness, dissolving the sense of a separate self.