A Buddhist Approach to Patience | Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, author of "Peaceful Heart," discusses the Buddhist approach to patience, defining it as working positively with what bothers us rather than just enduring it. He shares practices to cultivate this skill, emphasizing it as a proactive, not passive, mental strengthening.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Introduction to Patience in a Modern World
Defining Patience from a Buddhist Perspective
Practices for Cultivating Patience
Patience as Proactive, Not Passive
Cultivating Universal Love and Compassion (Matriya & Karuna)
Rinpoche's Personal Challenges with Patience
Bodhichitta Practice: The Essence of the Spiritual Path
Patience in Eating and Mindful Appreciation
Addressing the Feeling of Rushing (Karmic Wind)
Patience with Physical Pain During Meditation (Simmering)
Understanding and Connecting with 'Nature' in Meditation
The Modern World's Assault on Patience
7 Key Concepts
Patience (Buddhist Lens)
Beyond simply 'grin and bear it,' Buddhist patience involves constructively responding to situations by exploring innate wisdom to find remedies. If no remedy exists, it's about relaxing, accepting, and engaging in other activities, or deepening meditation practice, rather than being stuck in self-destructive emotions like anger or resentment.
Matriya Practice
This practice involves cultivating a tender heart and a universal wish for all humanity to be happy. It encourages emanating the same longing for happiness one feels for oneself to all other human beings, recognizing shared desires for well-being.
Karuna Practice
Karuna is the practice of compassion, focusing on those who are suffering. It involves feeling their sense of loss and pain, and wishing for them to find relief and peace, connecting with their state and hoping they can move beyond their suffering.
Bodhichitta Practice
This is the practice of maintaining a tender heart and universal love for all living beings as the essence of one's spiritual path. It involves recognizing the shared desire for happiness and freedom from suffering among all beings, and consciously spreading the love and concern one has for oneself to all humanity.
Karmic Wind
In Tibetan Buddhism, 'karmic wind' refers to an internal churning energy in the body that drives thoughts, emotions, and physical actions, often leading to a feeling of rushing or being carried along. Meditation aims to unwind this wind to connect with one's true nature.
Simmering
This practice involves observing physical sensations, like pain during meditation, without getting enmeshed or reacting to them. By 'simmering' in the experience, one recognizes its transitory nature, allowing it to dissolve and leading to a sense of peace and tranquility.
Connecting with Nature (in meditation)
This refers to reaching a state of expanded, panoramic awareness where thoughts and emotions arise and dissolve without enmeshment. It's a lucid, present, and clear awareness, often described as 'being at home,' which is always present like a screen behind a movie, but often obscured by being caught up in mental activity.
7 Questions Answered
From a Buddhist perspective, patience is not merely enduring but involves constructively responding to situations, applying wisdom to find solutions, or accepting what cannot be changed, rather than being consumed by negative emotions.
Practices like Matriya (universal love/happiness for all), Karuna (compassion for suffering beings), and Bodhichitta (maintaining a tender heart for all) are foundational for cultivating patience, as they transform self-centeredness.
No, Buddhist patience is described as a very proactive, constructive, and conscious practice that strengthens the mind and emotions, preventing one from succumbing to factors that cause loss of temper or self-control.
One can practice patience in eating by creating a conscious connection with the meal, eating mindfully, and cultivating a deep sense of appreciation for the food and the act of nourishing oneself, rather than rushing through it.
To address the feeling of 'karmic wind' or rushing, one should take time to be still, allowing the energy to unwind. This can involve specific postures like hugging the knees, and being patient with the time it takes (e.g., 15-20 minutes) to connect with one's natural, peaceful state.
When physical pain arises during meditation, one can practice 'simmering' by observing the sensation without getting enmeshed or reacting to it. Recognizing that all experiences, including pain, are transitory helps one find peace as the sensation dissolves.
Connecting with nature in meditation means reaching a state of expanded, panoramic awareness where thoughts and emotions are observed arising and ceasing without enmeshment. It's a lucid, clear, and peaceful awareness, a sense of 'being at home' that underlies all mental activity.
15 Actionable Insights
1. Train During Good Times
Establish and diligently practice meditation or other beneficial routines during calm, non-crisis periods, as in a crisis, you will fall back on your existing training rather than your expectations.
2. Embrace Bodhichitta as Core
Make Bodhichitta your main practice by consciously maintaining a tender heart and universal love for all beings, actively shifting away from self-centered habits to spread love and concern.
3. Cultivate Universal Love
Practice ‘matriya’ (loving-kindness) by cultivating a tender heart and wishing all humanity to be happy and free from suffering, using your own longing for happiness as a reference to project this emotion to others.
4. Practice Compassion (Karuna)
Engage in ‘karuna’ practice by connecting with the suffering of others, feeling their pain and loss, and wishing for them to find relief and peace, using your own desire to be free from pain as a reference.
5. Redefine Patience: Proactive Engagement
View patience not as passive endurance, but as actively engaging with what’s bothering you by being present with physical, mental, and emotional states, constructively responding rather than reacting blindly.
6. Assess Problem Actionability
When faced with a problem, determine if you can remedy it; if so, apply skillful means to find a solution without losing temper. If not, relax, accept the situation, and engage in hobbies or deepen meditation.
7. Trust Emotional Transience
When agitated, consciously acknowledge that the emotion will subside and you will work through it, rather than immediately reacting. This awareness softens the experience and makes it less compulsive.
8. Use Breathing and Create Space
In moments of agitation, use a breathing technique and take time off to create space to settle your mind and emotions, avoiding the urge to react immediately, which often worsens the situation.
9. Practice Non-Judgment of Thoughts
When thoughts and emotions arise, avoid judging them, recognizing them as random and transitory. Allowing them to be without self-criticism prevents additional problematic challenges.
10. Connect with Panoramic Awareness
Progress beyond focused concentration to an expanded, panoramic awareness where thoughts and emotions arise and cease without enmeshment, leading to a lucid, present, and peaceful state of ’nature’.
11. Unwind Karmic Wind with Stillness
To counteract the feeling of rushing or ‘karmic wind,’ practice stillness for 15-20 minutes to allow this energy to unwind. Hugging your knees with your palms can be a helpful posture to calm the nervous system.
12. Simmer with Physical Pain
During meditation, practice ‘simmering’ with physical pain by observing it without getting enmeshed, recognizing its transitory nature. If pain becomes too intense, it is advisable to change your posture.
13. Identify Reactivity Triggers
Understand that factors like physical fatigue or lack of sleep can contribute to sensitivity and reactivity. Take time to sort out what’s truly going on to avoid misattributing the cause of your annoyance.
14. Eat Mindfully with Appreciation
Approach eating with a deep sense of appreciation for the food and its nourishment, consciously creating a connection to the act of eating mindfully, transforming mealtime into a meditative practice.
15. Evaluate Technology’s Role
Reflect on and consciously determine the appropriate amount of technology use in your life, distinguishing between productive and healthy engagement versus excessive use that consumes precious time unproductively.
6 Key Quotes
If there's something you could do, why to worry or why to lose your temper? Well, if there is nothing you could do, then what's the benefit?
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche (quoting the Dalai Lama)
In crisis, we don't rise to our expectations, but we fall to our training.
Dan Harris (quoting Bruce Lee, paraphrased)
Patience is really opposite of that. It's a very proactive and it's a very constructive practice. And it's a very conscious practice of strengthening your mind and your emotions to not succumb to the various factors that sort of like makes you lose your temper and lose yourself in that moment.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
What's heaven? Love in your heart. And then the student asked, what's hell? Lacking that in your heart.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche (quoting a Sufi master)
There's no greater rejuvenation than that in one's life, I feel. There's no greater healing than that. And there's no really a greater sort of a restoration of your mind and your brain, even I hear, than just being able to sort of get beyond that karmic wind and then just rest in the nature.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
Our modern world seems designed to train us in the opposite of patience.
Dan Harris
4 Protocols
Cultivating Patience in the Moment
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche- Engage a breathing technique.
- Take time off to create space and settle your mind and emotions.
- Avoid feeling urged to react immediately or overcome internal states, as this often worsens the situation.
- Work through the situation with your innate wisdom or allow emotions to subside naturally.
Matriya (Loving-Kindness) Practice
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche- Sit and generate the wish for yourself to be happy.
- Turn that wish outward to all humanity, wishing all human beings to be happy.
- If emotion is not strong, reflect inwardly on your own longing for happiness as a reference point.
- Emanate that same emotion and longing to all human beings, wishing them freedom from suffering and a return to normalcy (e.g., during a pandemic).
Karuna (Compassion) Practice
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche- Identify those who are suffering (e.g., from loss of loved ones).
- Feel their sense of loss and pain, joining them in their state.
- Wish for them to be relieved from their pain and to find peace.
- Hope for them to be able to move forward with their grievances and beyond their suffering.
Unwinding Karmic Wind (Rushing Energy)
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche- Recognize the feeling of rushing or 'karmic wind' churning inside your body.
- Assume a helpful posture, such as hugging your knees with your palms, to naturally wind down.
- Be patient with the process, knowing it takes about 15 to 20 minutes for the energy to unwind.
- Rest in the connected 'nature' state for as long as time allows, without indulging it to avoid disrupting your schedule.