A Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel Lingo
Kaira Jewel Lingo, author of "We Were Made for These Times," shares Buddhist strategies for navigating change and disruption. She discusses waking up to the present, trusting the unknown, the Five Remembrances, gratitude, and accepting what is.
Deep Dive Analysis
9 Topic Outline
Introduction to Handling Turmoil and Kaira Jewel Lingo's Book
Kaira Jewel Lingo's Personal Journey: Leaving Monastic Life
Challenges and Adjustments After Leaving the Monastery
Lesson 1: Waking Up to What's Happening Right Now
Lesson 2: Trusting the Unknown and Its Possibilities
The Five Remembrances: Facing Impermanence Daily
Lesson 3: The Role of Gratitude in Times of Disruption
Lesson 4: Accepting What Is vs. Resignation or Passivity
Understanding the Title: 'We Were Made for These Times'
3 Key Concepts
Being in the Present Moment
During tumult, being in the present moment acts as an anchor, allowing awareness of supporting elements beyond strong emotions. It involves taking control of attention, noticing simple sensations like breath or touch, which provides refuge and strength to meet intense experiences with wisdom.
Trusting the Unknown
This concept involves becoming comfortable with not knowing what the future holds, seeing it as a source of infinite possibilities rather than a threat. It encourages letting go of the need to control and define one's identity, fostering a reliance on the present moment as sufficient.
Accepting What Is
Accepting what is means acknowledging the current situation without creating tension, stress, or frustration, which can worsen difficult circumstances. It is distinct from resignation or passivity; instead, it allows one to look deeply at the root of a situation and engage with it from a place of wisdom and shared humanity, paradoxically enabling positive change.
6 Questions Answered
Kaira Jewel Lingo left because she felt a need to complete and break through something she could only do outside the monastery, to individuate and face the challenges of being in the world without the protective structure of the community.
Being in the present moment helps by providing an anchor amidst difficulty, allowing awareness of supportive elements beyond strong emotions, and enabling one to meet intense experiences with greater wisdom and strength.
Trusting the unknown opens up infinite possibilities compared to a fixed plan, helps in letting go of the need to control, and fosters comfort with uncertainty, making the present moment a sufficient reliance.
Gratitude creates a subtle shift, bringing more space and lightness to embrace difficulties, offering a broader perspective, and serving as a way to resource oneself and gain strength to face painful experiences.
Accepting what is is a proactive strategy to avoid tension and frustration, allowing energy to be directed towards effective resolution. It involves looking deeply at the situation and engaging from a place of shared humanity, which can paradoxically lead to positive change, rather than simply giving up.
The title signifies that individuals possess everything they need in the present moment to confront current challenges, and that all past experiences have prepared them to be a transformative force by engaging with the present with care for themselves and others.
11 Actionable Insights
1. Accepting What Is
When facing difficult situations, accept what is rather than resisting it, as resistance creates tension, stress, and frustration, making the situation worse. This approach allows your energy to go towards useful resolution, enabling you to navigate challenges without being negatively impacted.
2. Engage the Present Moment
In times of tumult, anchor yourself by taking a breath, feeling your body (feet, hands, clothing), and noticing your surroundings to bring more of yourself ‘online.’ This practice helps you meet intense experiences with greater wisdom, recognizing that other things are happening alongside strong emotions, and caring for the present moment to care for the future.
3. Practice the Five Remembrances
Regularly reflect on the Buddha’s five remembrances mentioned (I am of the nature to grow old; I am of the nature to die; everyone I love and all that is dear to me are of the nature to change; my actions are my only true belongings). This practice helps desensitize you to these truths, allowing you to visualize inevitable changes and ask how you want to live each moment, thereby preparing for impermanence and not taking things for granted.
4. Trust the Unknown
Become comfortable with not knowing what will happen, as letting go of the need to control or predict the future opens up infinite possibilities. Rely on your present moment awareness (steps, breath, current awareness) as your refuge, knowing that this is enough to find peace and happiness amidst uncertainty.
5. Cultivate Regular Gratitude
Practice looking for the good and being grateful regularly, as this creates a subtle shift in mood and provides more space and lightness to embrace difficulties. Gratitude acts as a form of resourcing, making you strong enough to care for what is painful and difficult when challenging times arise.
6. Deeply Examine Difficult Situations
When in opposition to someone or something, look deeply to understand the root of the situation and its complexities, rather than just focusing on the surface. This perspective allows you to see the full humanity of others and engage with greater impact and effectiveness.
7. Embrace Humility and Mystery
Approach difficult situations and people with humility, acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers and there might be a ‘bigger logic’ at play. Let go of the need to conceive of everything, giving space for the mystery while still advocating for what’s important, as this softening can shift the situation in unexpected ways.
8. Fully Engage in Mundane Tasks
Apply full care and heart to whatever you are doing, even mundane tasks like washing dishes, feeding pets, or sweeping. Disengaging and rushing through tasks to get to something ‘more important’ prevents you from being your best self and leads to a future less aligned with your desires.
9. Set Intentions for Daily Actions
Before performing a routine action, set a positive intention for it, such as wishing well for your pet as you feed them. This practice brings a different quality to the action and can make you happy, transforming the mundane into a meaningful moment.
10. Support Others Amidst Uncertainty
When in a state of not knowing or limbo, actively seek ways to support, care for, share love with, and lift up others. This outward focus can help you navigate desperate situations with grace and dignity, preventing a victim mentality.
11. Maintain a Daily Meditation Practice
Aspire to have a daily meditation practice, even if busy times make it challenging to stick to a strict schedule. This consistent practice helps you stay grounded in the present moment and live your life deeply.
6 Key Quotes
When things get really tough and things don't feel like they're supposed to be happening the way they should be, that's exactly where we need to be.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
You wash the dishes to wash the dishes.
Thich Nhat Hanh (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
There's so many more possibilities in the unknown than, than there is, you know, when we've decided this is what it is, what we're going to do, there's just that one possibility.
Joseph Goldstein (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
My actions are my only true belongings. They are the ground on which I stand. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
By accepting what is, we actually can alter it in ways that we can't when we resist what is.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
We already are what we want to become.
Master Lin Chi (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
1 Protocols
The Five Remembrances
Kaira Jewel Lingo- I am of the nature to grow old. I cannot escape growing old.
- I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death.
- Everyone I love and all that is dear to me are of the nature to change. I cannot escape being separated from them.
- My actions are my only true belongings. They are the ground on which I stand. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.