A Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel Lingo
Kaira Jewel Lingo, Dharma teacher and author, discusses Buddhist strategies for navigating change, loss, and disruption. She covers waking up to the present, trusting the unknown, the five remembrances, gratitude, and accepting what is to help listeners find stability amidst turmoil.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Kaira Jewel Lingo's Personal Journey and Monastic Life
Transitioning from Nun to Lay Person: Challenges and Learnings
Life After Monasticism: Pace, Relationships, and Purpose
Lesson 1: Waking Up to the Present Moment
The Present Moment as the Foundation for the Future
Lesson 2: Trusting the Unknown and Embracing Uncertainty
Finding Peace Amidst Limbo and Desperate Situations
Lesson 3: The Five Daily Remembrances of the Buddha
Facing Impermanence and Death for a Meaningful Life
Lesson 4: The Power of Gratitude in Difficult Times
Lesson 5: Accepting What Is Versus Resignation
The Paradox of Acceptance and Creating Change
Meaning of 'We Were Made for These Times'
5 Key Concepts
Coming Home / Being in the Present Moment
In times of tumult, it's easy to lose perspective and get caught in external situations. 'Coming home' means anchoring oneself by noticing simple present realities like breath, physical sensations, and surroundings, which provides refuge and strength to meet intense experiences with wisdom.
Trusting the Unknown
Our nervous system seeks predictability, making the unknown a source of unease. Trusting the unknown involves letting go of the need to control and define identity, recognizing that not knowing opens up infinite possibilities and allows one to take refuge in the present moment.
The Five Remembrances
A Buddhist practice of daily reflection on five truths: aging, sickness, death, separation from loved ones, and that actions are one's only true belongings. This practice serves as a 'desensitization therapy' to face fears head-on, preventing complacency and encouraging intentional living.
Accepting What Is
This concept is distinct from resignation or passivity; it means acknowledging the current situation without resistance, which reduces internal tension and stress. By accepting, one can then wisely direct energy towards resolution, stand up for what's right from a deeper understanding, and paradoxically, create change more effectively.
Akaliko (Dharma's Timelessness)
A characteristic of the Dharma, meaning 'outside of time.' It implies that the teachings don't require years of practice to have an effect; they can be immediately transformative. This reinforces the idea that one has what is needed right now to engage and transform.
7 Questions Answered
By embracing the present moment, trusting the unknown, practicing gratitude, reflecting on impermanence through the five remembrances, and accepting what is without resignation.
Anxiety is future-oriented, and by focusing on the present moment—taking a breath, feeling physical sensations—one creates space for more than just strong emotions, allowing for a wiser response and caring for the future by caring for the now.
By recognizing that the unknown holds infinite possibilities, letting go of the need to control or define identity, and taking refuge in the present moment, understanding that 'all I have is right now' can be enough for peace.
They are reflections on the inevitability of aging, sickness, death, separation from loved ones, and that one's actions are their only true belongings. They serve as a 'desensitization therapy' to face fears, prevent complacency, and encourage living fully and intentionally.
Gratitude helps shift a low mood, creating more space and lightness, acting as an antidote to overwhelming difficulties. It resources one, making them strong enough to face and care for painful experiences.
Accepting what is means acknowledging the current situation without internal resistance, which reduces stress and allows for wise action. It does not mean being a 'doormat' or failing to advocate for change, but rather engaging with a deeper understanding of the situation's roots and the humanity of others.
It means that each individual possesses everything needed right now to show up and be a force of transformation, having been prepared by all past experiences. It encourages moving with the flow of challenges rather than drowning in them, by caring for the present moment and each other.
13 Actionable Insights
1. Recognize Your Innate Preparedness
Believe that you already possess everything needed to navigate current challenges and be a force for transformation. Avoid feeling intimidated or overwhelmed by difficulties, and instead, trust in your inherent capacity to adapt and move with the flow of life.
2. Embrace Tough Times
When facing difficulties, recognize that you are exactly where you need to be and possess the necessary resources to navigate the situation. This perspective helps in moving through challenging periods.
3. Practice Acceptance, Not Resignation
When faced with difficult situations, accept “what is” to avoid creating tension, stress, and frustration, which only worsen the situation. This allows you to engage with patience and firmness, see others’ humanity, and ultimately achieve more effective change.
4. Practice Five Daily Remembrances
Regularly reflect on the five truths: you will grow old, get sick, die; you will be separated from loved ones; and your actions are your only true belongings. This practice desensitizes you to fear, encourages living fully in the present, and helps you prepare for a good death.
5. Cultivate Gratitude Amidst Difficulty
Actively seek and acknowledge things to be grateful for, even during challenging times, to create more space and lightness. This practice acts as an antidote to overwhelm, shifts emotions, and resources you to face pain with greater strength.
6. Embrace Unknown’s Infinite Possibilities
Cultivate comfort with not knowing what the future holds, viewing it as a source of infinite possibilities rather than a deficit. Letting go of the need to control or define your identity in advance can bring peace and happiness.
7. Anchor in the Present Moment
When experiencing tumult or anxiety, consciously bring your attention to the present by taking a breath, feeling your feet and hands, or noticing clothing on your skin. This creates space for more than strong emotions and provides an anchor to what is real and supportive.
8. Care for the Present Moment
Focus your attention and care on what is happening right now, rather than rushing or sacrificing the present to control future outcomes. By doing so, you wisely influence the future and avoid unnecessary stress.
9. Engage Fully in Mundane Tasks
Approach every task, no matter how simple (e.g., feeding a pet, sweeping, typing an email), with full care and attention, as if it were a sacred act. This prevents rushing, improves the quality of the present, and shapes a more desirable future.
10. Find Refuge in Immediate Present
When facing profound uncertainty or insecurity, rely on the simple realities of the present moment, such as your breath, your steps, and your immediate awareness. Recognize that these fundamental elements are sufficient for peace and well-being.
11. Support Others During Turmoil
Even when in a desperate or uncertain situation, actively seek ways to support, care for, and lift up others. This outward focus can foster inner light, grace, and dignity, transforming a victim mentality.
12. Set Intentions for Daily Actions
Before performing routine tasks, like feeding a pet, pause to set a positive intention for the action. This practice can transform mundane moments into opportunities for care and connection, making the experience more meaningful.
13. Embrace Individuation Challenges
Step outside protective structures and meet the world as an individual, even if it means facing new responsibilities and loneliness, as this process can lead to personal growth and understanding.
8 Key Quotes
When things get really tough and things don't feel like they're supposed to be happening the way they should be, that's exactly where we need to be, that we're actually right in the place that we need to be. And we have what we need to be in that place.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
What is the future made of, but this moment. So if we can care for what's happening right here, then the future is cared for, but we often sacrifice what's happening in the present to try to control or determine the outcome of the future.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
You wash the dishes to wash the dishes.
Thich Nhat Hanh (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
There's so many more possibilities in the unknown than there is, you know, when we've decided this is what it is, what we're going to do. There's just that one possibility. But when we don't know, there's infinite possibilities.
Joseph Goldstein (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
My actions are my only true belongings. They are the ground on which I stand. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
The Buddha (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
By accepting what is, we actually can alter it in ways that we can't when we resist what is.
Kaira Jewel Lingo
We were made for these times. We were made for this exact plane of engagement. We have everything we need. All the things we've been doing up until now have prepared us for this moment.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
We already are what we want to become.
Master Lin Chi (quoted by Kaira Jewel Lingo)
1 Protocols
The Five Daily Remembrances Meditation
The Buddha (described by Kaira Jewel Lingo)- Remember: 'I am of the nature to grow old. I cannot escape growing old.'
- Remember: 'I am of the nature to get sick. I cannot escape ill health.'
- Remember: 'I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death.'
- Remember: 'Everyone I love and all that is dear to me are of the nature to change. I cannot escape being separated from them.'
- Remember: 'My actions are my only true belongings. They are the ground on which I stand. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.'