A Star, Utterly Unguarded | Brett Eldredge
Country star Brett Eldredge discusses his rigorous journey tackling anxiety, panic attacks, and perfectionism. He shares how digital minimalism, cognitive behavioral therapy, and meditation have profoundly impacted his mental well-being and creative process for his new album, "Sunday Drive."
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Introduction to Brett Eldredge's Mental Health Journey
Early Struggles with Anxiety and Perfectionism
Stepping Away from Social Media and Seeking Authenticity
Impact of Digital Minimalism on Creativity
Coping with Panic Attacks and Learned Fear
Using Exposure Therapy for Anxiety
Perfectionism as a Root Cause of Stress
Embracing Imperfection in Music Performance
Openness About Mental Health in Country Music
Brett Eldredge's Meditation Practice and Challenges
The Creative Process Behind the 'Sunday Drive' Album
Overcoming Perfectionism in Romantic Relationships
The Poignant Story Behind the Song 'Sunday Drive'
6 Key Concepts
Chasing Perfection
The relentless pursuit of flawlessness in all aspects of life, which can lead to burnout, anxiety, and an inability to experience joy in the present moment. Brett Eldredge experienced this in his music career, leading to severe anxiety and physical stress.
Digital Minimalism
A philosophy of technology use that advocates for intentionally and selectively using digital tools that support your values, and aggressively cutting back on anything else. Brett Eldredge adopted this by using a flip phone and getting off social media to reconnect with himself and his creative process.
Learned Fear
A psychological phenomenon where the brain associates a previously neutral situation or stimulus with a negative experience, leading to fear or panic in similar future situations. Brett Eldredge developed this after a severe panic attack during an interview, causing anxiety in subsequent public speaking engagements.
Exposure Therapy (CBT)
A therapeutic technique used to confront fears and anxieties by gradually exposing oneself to the feared object or situation in a safe and controlled environment. Brett Eldredge uses this by intentionally doing interviews, even 'fake' ones, to desensitize himself to the learned fear of panic attacks in public.
Embracing Imperfections
The practice of accepting and even valuing flaws, mistakes, and non-ideal outcomes rather than striving for an unattainable ideal. Brett Eldredge found freedom and authenticity in his music and performances by letting go of the need for perfection and connecting more genuinely with his audience and band.
'Is This Useful?'
A question to ask oneself during rumination or anxious thought patterns to assess the productivity and benefit of the current mental activity. Brett Eldredge uses this to identify when his thoughts are unhelpful and to disengage from them.
9 Questions Answered
His anxiety stemmed from the pressure to be perfect and deliver every time, leading to sleepless nights, tossing and turning, and nearly passing out before going on stage.
As the 'Snapchat king' of country music, he felt immense pressure to constantly create content and check for likes, even extending to his dog becoming an 'influencer,' which created an 'endless cycle' of self-imposed pressure.
He used exposure therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, where he intentionally put himself in interview situations, even 'fake' ones, to confront and desensitize himself to the learned fear that triggered his panic attacks.
He learned to embrace imperfections, realizing fans want authenticity, not flawlessness. He started connecting with his band and audience, and his therapist advised him to connect with someone in the crowd who 'needs this show'.
Brett Eldredge believes that while it might be perceived as risky, he is glad to take that risk because he wants to be a voice that helps people going through similar struggles, emphasizing that anxieties are a universal human experience.
He meditates 4-5 days a week, sometimes guided, sometimes focusing on sounds, and practices walking meditations to connect with nature. He acknowledges that he often feels he doesn't know what he's doing but values the repetition and the moments of awareness he gains.
He intentionally changed his writing partners, recorded in Chicago instead of Nashville for a different perspective, and embraced a raw, live recording style that allowed for 'vocal bleeds' and imperfections, prioritizing honesty and emotional depth over a polished sound.
Perfectionism has been a 'heavy topic' in his therapy, as it stands in the way of love and relationships for him. He has struggled with trust issues due to fame and the feeling that he needs to present a 'perfect picture' to potential partners.
The song, which he didn't write but discovered as an intern, deeply resonated with him as it reflects the fragility of time and the shift from being a child in the backseat to an adult driving aging parents, evoking profound emotions about family and impermanence.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Confront Perfectionism
Recognize perfectionism as a significant source of anxiety, stress, and a barrier in relationships. Embrace imperfections in all aspects of life, understanding that authenticity is more valued than flawless execution.
2. Disconnect from Digital Overload
Take a significant break from social media and digital devices (e.g., using a flip phone or limiting smart device use) to reduce external pressures, reconnect with your true self, and foster creativity. Consider exploring principles of Digital Minimalism.
3. Engage in Therapy
Seek professional therapy to address mental health challenges, gain awareness of triggers, and work through personal issues. This process is crucial for self-discovery and developing coping mechanisms.
4. Practice Exposure Therapy
Confront learned fears head-on through exposure therapy, which involves intentionally engaging in feared situations (e.g., simulated interviews for stage fright). This helps retrain the brain and reduce the power of anxiety.
5. Be Bold and Face Fears
Set a daily intention to ‘be bold’ and show up for challenging moments, even when scared. Define bravery as being scared and doing it anyway, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to foster growth.
6. Combat Down Lulls with Activity & Connection
When experiencing feelings of loneliness or helplessness, force yourself out of isolation and get active. Engage with friends through phone calls or go on a hike, rather than stewing in negative emotions alone.
7. Get Out of Your Head
Actively shift your focus from internal rumination to engaging with your external life. This means participating in activities and connecting with the world around you instead of dwelling on negative thoughts.
8. Embrace Impermanence of Emotions
Remind yourself that difficult emotional states are temporary and will eventually pass. This understanding can provide hope and resilience during tough times, knowing that freedom from the feeling will come.
9. Nurture Relationships for Happiness
Prioritize and invest in the quality of your relationships, as they are a fundamental variable in overall happiness. Actively seek connection with others, even if you are naturally introverted, to avoid excessive isolation.
10. Cultivate Self-Love
Dedicate time to being with yourself and fostering self-love. Developing a strong sense of self and believing in your own worth is crucial before seeking deep romantic relationships or giving fully to others.
11. Prioritize Authentic Expression
In creative endeavors and personal interactions, prioritize authenticity and personal meaning over external validation or trends. Trust that genuine expression will resonate deeply with others.
12. Take Creative Risks
Be willing to take risks by expressing your unique self and vision, even if it deviates from what others expect or what is currently popular. Surround yourself with a supportive team that encourages this mission.
13. Ask ‘Is This Useful?’
When caught in a cycle of rumination, pause and ask yourself, ‘Is this useful?’ This question can help break the cycle of unproductive thinking and redirect your focus.
14. Maintain Consistent Meditation
Commit to a regular meditation practice (e.g., four to five days a week), even if you feel unsure about your technique. Experiment with different styles, like guided, unguided, or walking meditations, to find what works best for you.
15. Integrate Walking Meditation
Incorporate walking meditations into your routine, especially during hikes, to enhance awareness of your surroundings and connect more deeply with nature. Focus on sensory details like feeling your feet touch the ground.
16. Establish Nightly Wind-Down Routine
Create a consistent evening routine to prepare for sleep. This can include putting your phone in another room, drinking calming tea, and engaging in a relaxing activity like playing an instrument for 10-15 minutes.
8 Key Quotes
I was chasing perfection, you know, and that started to eat me alive.
Brett Eldredge
I don't want a dog that's an influencer on Instagram. I don't want him to be my dog.
Brett Eldredge
I have to, as I've heard before, get out of my head and into my life.
Brett Eldredge
Being scared and doing it anyway.
Dan Harris
Anywhere in life, people don't want you to be perfect. They just want you to be you.
Brett Eldredge
The anxieties and the struggles are the most human thing that there is.
Brett Eldredge
Striving for perfection is the enemy of meditation. It is inherently imperfect.
Dan Harris
It's not the Oscars every night. Some nights it's the People's Choice Awards.
Dan Harris
3 Protocols
Dealing with 'Heavy Down Days'
Brett Eldredge- Force yourself out of the comfort zone of sitting with it alone.
- Get active (e.g., go on a hike).
- Connect with a friend (e.g., get on the phone).
- Remind yourself that the feeling will pass.
- Focus on getting 'out of my head and into my life'.
Confronting Stage Fright/Learned Fear
Brett Eldredge- Show up and do the interviews, even if you feel like you're going to throw up.
- Engage in exposure therapy, such as setting up lights and doing 'fake' interviews.
- Watch recordings of past performances/interviews to see that outward signs of panic may not be apparent to others.
- Set an intention each morning, such as 'be bold,' to make a promise to yourself to face challenges.
Connecting with the Audience During a Live Performance
Brett Eldredge (advised by his therapist)- When your head starts to ruminate on fatigue or remaining songs, shift focus.
- Go out and connect with somebody in the crowd that you think 'really needs this show' or 'needs this moment'.