A Wise and Counterintuitive Way to Meditate in a Crisis | Lama Rod Owens
Lama Rod Owens, a recognized Lama and Harvard MDiv, discusses working with anger and fear after the US Capitol attack. He shares strategies for self-care, communicating with those you disagree with, and strategic divestment from depleting influences, emphasizing starting with oneself.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Lama Rod's Personal Reaction to the Capitol Attack
The Importance of Connection and Basic Self-Care During Crisis
Understanding and Practicing 'Touching the Earth' for Grounding
Protecting Energy from Media, Social Media, and Vicarious Trauma
Strategic Divestment from Depleting Relationships and Activities
Societal Lack of Trauma-Informed Approaches and Collective Mourning
Self-Protection and Compassion When Surrounded by Differing Views
Communicating Boundaries Regarding Beliefs and Wellness
Working with Anger: Offering Space vs. Containing Reactivity
A Generational Approach to Creating Societal Change
Addressing White Supremacy and Systemic Privilege
Working with Fear and Navigating Difficult Family Relationships
Accepting What Cannot Be Changed and Setting Boundaries
6 Key Concepts
Dysregulation
This refers to an overwhelming experience of emotions like anger, fear, terror, shutting down, or numbness, often accompanied by a belief that one 'should be better' than what they are experiencing. It's a state where one feels disconnected from their mind and body, leading to mental narratives spinning out of control.
Touching the Earth
This practice involves literally connecting to a solid foundation, such as lying on the ground, or tangibly connecting to one's body (e.g., holding hands, feeling the seat, focusing on breath). Its purpose is to disrupt mental narratives, feel heavy and grounded, and reconnect to the physical present moment to gain clarity.
Strategic Divestment
This is the practice of consciously choosing what to invest your finite energy in and stepping back from relationships, technologies, or activities that are depleting without offering replenishment. It involves setting boundaries and prioritizing what truly matters for one's well-being.
Trauma-Informed Society
A society that possesses collective methods for mourning, a language to discuss suffering, and systems (like schools, businesses, and social spaces) that are equipped to understand and respond to trauma. The current U.S. society is described as largely lacking these elements, leading to difficulties in processing collective traumatic events.
Working with Anger
Instead of containing anger, this approach advocates for offering it space to be present and experienced without reacting to it. By doing so, one can gather wisdom and data from the energy of anger to channel it constructively, rather than being swept up in reactivity.
Working with Fear
Fear, often understood as anxiety about the future or worry about the unknown, is approached with the same practice as anger. It involves bringing spaciousness, disrupting reactivity, experiencing the fear in mind and body, and taking care of it to gain clarity and wisdom.
6 Questions Answered
Lama Rod acknowledges the dysregulation, lets go of the belief that he 'shouldn't' feel it, and returns to basic practices like connecting with friends, checking in on physical/emotional states, and engaging in self-care like eating, resting, and disconnecting from news/social media.
It's crucial to set boundaries around social media and news consumption, as these platforms can intensify anxiety and fear. Strategic divestment from depleting relationships and activities, and consciously investing energy in what is restorative, is also vital.
Start with self-care and self-compassion for your own discomfort, then extend consideration to others, recognizing they are also struggling. Set clear boundaries by articulating how others' beliefs impact your wellness, rather than just your comfort, without judging them as evil or ignorant.
Instead of containing anger, offer it space to be present and experienced without reacting. This allows for data and wisdom to emerge, which can then be channeled into constructive action, such as working with younger generations or educating others.
Approach fear with spaciousness and by disrupting reactivity, similar to working with anger. Experience the fear in your mind and body, take care of it, and allow space for the reality that some things may not turn out as desired, leading to a deeper process of mourning.
Show up with love, clarity, and directness without condoning or enabling. Avoid aggressiveness to prevent defensiveness. Encourage loved ones to be with their own hurt, as this can disrupt reactivity, but also accept that some people may not change and set boundaries to protect yourself.
28 Actionable Insights
1. Start With Yourself
To play a constructive role in any situation, begin by focusing on your own internal state and well-being, as this is the most important starting point for influence.
2. Practice During Good Times
Cultivate and strengthen your self-awareness and emotional regulation practices diligently during periods of calm, so that when a crisis hits, you can naturally fall back on your training rather than being swept away.
3. Acknowledge Dysregulation
When experiencing strong emotions like anger or fear, notice the feeling of dysregulation without judgment or the belief that you ‘should be better,’ and instead commit to showing up to what is arising.
4. Prioritize Basic Self-Care
During overwhelming times, ensure you are doing fundamental self-care activities such as drinking water, eating food, taking breaks, resting, and disconnecting from news and social media to create space for self-nurturing.
5. Reach Out for Connection
When feeling alienated, alone, or disconnected, actively reach out to friends or loved ones and ask for help to find grounding and prevent narratives from spinning out of control.
6. Disrupt Reactivity
Consciously interrupt patterns of overreacting to experiences, which allows you to access a sense of spaciousness and clarity around what is happening.
7. Practice ‘Touching the Earth’
To ground yourself, physically connect with something solid like the floor or the actual earth, or internally by touching your body, noticing the sensation of your seat, or focusing on your breath, to anchor yourself in the present moment.
8. Protect Your Energy
Actively safeguard your finite physical and psychic energy by being mindful of what you invest in, as this is crucial for sustaining important aspects of your life like relationships.
9. Strategically Divest from Depleting Inputs
Consciously step back from people, technologies, or activities that drain your energy and do not offer replenishment, making hard choices to preserve your well-being.
10. Set Boundaries with Compassion
While practicing self-compassion and compassion for others, assert your right to set clear boundaries and articulate how others’ beliefs or actions impact your wellness.
11. Offer Space to Anger
Instead of trying to contain anger, allow it ample space to be present in your experience, focusing on disrupting your reactivity to it rather than suppressing the emotion itself.
12. Channel Anger into Wisdom
Experience your anger fully without reacting to it, which allows you to gather wisdom and data from its energy, enabling you to channel it constructively.
13. Address Underlying Hurt
Look beneath the surface of anger to touch into the woundedness, heartbreak, and trauma that may be fueling it, both in yourself and in others.
14. Apply Anger Practices to Fear
Approach fear with the same practices used for anger, offering it spaciousness, disrupting reactivity, and experiencing it fully to gain clarity and wisdom.
15. Mourn Unchangeable Realities
Allow yourself to touch into grief, sadness, and sorrow for things that you wish were different but know will not change, accepting the reality of situations beyond your control.
16. Show Up with Love and Clarity
Engage with others, even those with whom you disagree, in a loving, clear, and direct manner without condoning harmful actions, and avoid aggressive communication that can create defensiveness.
17. Encourage Others to Be With Hurt
Promote liberation and change by inviting people to genuinely experience their underlying hurts and providing care as they do so, which can disrupt reactivity to anger and frustration.
18. Accept Not Everyone Will Change
Recognize and accept that some individuals may not have the capacity or resources to alter their deeply held beliefs or behaviors, and that this outcome must be okay.
19. Use Mindfulness Check-in Questions
When checking in with yourself or others during difficult times, ask questions about your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual state to return to the present moment.
20. Reflect on Daily Energy Investment
Each day, consciously ask yourself what you should be focusing on, investing your energy in, and what is truly important to ensure your efforts align with your values and well-being.
21. Communicate Boundaries Effectively
Clearly inform others about your availability and pace, such as stating you are not always accessible by text or email, to reclaim agency over your energy and time.
22. Question ‘Business as Usual’
After experiencing traumatic events, challenge the societal pressure to immediately return to normal, advocating for time and space to collectively process the experience.
23. Develop Language for Suffering
Actively seek to understand and articulate your mental and physical suffering, using tools and spaces to process it individually and collaboratively within communities.
24. Extend Compassion to Others
Reflect on the idea that many people around you are experiencing similar discomfort and are doing their best with their current understanding, fostering an open heart and sensitivity.
25. Articulate Impact of Beliefs
Engage in clear conversations about how different beliefs intersect and impact each other’s wellness, moving beyond discomfort to discuss how beliefs create realities that affect well-being.
26. Think Generationally for Change
Recognize that systemic change is a long-term process and invest in working with younger generations and children to instill values that can build a more equitable and compassionate society over decades.
27. Educate and Divest from Privilege
For white individuals, take responsibility to educate yourselves on white supremacy, engage in difficult conversations, and actively divest from systems that grant automatic privilege to disrupt existing realities.
28. Claim Emotions for Agency
Practice self-identifying and claiming your emotions, such as anger, to establish a sense of agency over them, which paradoxically allows you to then let them go more freely.
5 Key Quotes
in crisis, we don't rise to our expectations, but we fall to our training.
Lama Rod Owens
A crisis isn't necessarily the best time to start a practice. But, you know, if you're thinking about practice, starting a practice in a crisis, please do so.
Lama Rod Owens
I often say we have to protect our energy. And this really is crucial right now to do that.
Lama Rod Owens
The container is pointless. It's our reactivity that we should be focusing on.
Lama Rod Owens
I don't think everyone's going to be saved. I think there are people who have walked down a path of beliefs, you know, and attitudes that they won't be able, or they don't have the capacity or the resources to return from.
Lama Rod Owens
4 Protocols
Immediate Crisis Response
Lama Rod Owens- Notice and let go of the belief that you 'shouldn't be dysregulated' when intense emotions arise.
- Show up to what's arising in your experience, such as anger, fear, terror, numbness, deep despair, or sorrow.
- Connect with a friend or support system to avoid isolation.
- Check in with each other on physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual states, noting where feelings arise in the body.
- Remind each other to do basic self-care, including having water and food, taking breaks, resting, and getting off social media and the news.
- Find ground by connecting to your mind and body to prevent mental narratives from spinning out of control.
Touching the Earth for Grounding
Lama Rod Owens- Stop and disrupt everything in the moment, acknowledging when you are deeply absorbed in what's happening.
- Physically connect to a solid anchor; this can be literally lying down on the floor or earth, or tangibly connecting to your body (e.g., holding your hands, feeling the sensation of your seat, focusing on your breath).
- Aim to feel heavy, solid, grounded, and connected to something bigger than yourself.
- Use this grounded state to gain clarity and determine what actions you need to take, such as how to help or support loved ones.
Working with Discomfort and Differing Views
Lama Rod Owens- Start with self-care and self-compassion by identifying your own discomfort and struggle.
- Do something to restore a sense of balance and groundedness, allowing space for the discomfort to be present without trying to erase or bypass it.
- Bring in other healing modalities appropriate for you, such as meditation or movement practices, to manage the discomfort.
- Reflect that many others around you are likely experiencing similar discomfort and are doing their best with their current tools, resources, and conditioning.
- Avoid seeing people with differing views as evil, ignorant, or incapable of change; instead, see them as struggling with discomfort like yourself.
- Set clear boundaries and articulate how other people's beliefs impact your wellness, focusing on how their beliefs create a reality that makes it hard for you to be well.
Working with Anger
Lama Rod Owens- Examine your personal relationship to anger and how you currently work with it.
- Offer anger a lot of space to be present in your experience, rather than trying to contain it.
- Experience your anger fully without reacting to it.
- When not reacting, gather data and wisdom about how to channel that energy constructively.
- Touch into the woundedness, hurt, heartbreak, and trauma that may lie beneath the anger.
- Consider a generational approach: if direct political impact is limited, work with younger generations to instill equitable values for building a more just society over time.
- Engage in open conversations with loved ones about beliefs, rather than assuming political or social alignment.
- For white individuals, take responsibility to disrupt white supremacy by educating yourselves, having conversations, and divesting from systems that grant automatic privilege.
- Channel your anger into educating, offering practices, and creating spaces for others to gain agency over their anger to make different decisions for lasting, systematic change.