Alan Cumming, Actor, Author, Activist
Award-winning actor Alan Cumming discusses his meditation practice, the importance of responding with kindness, and navigating fame. He shares insights from his new book, "You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams," and his work with UNHCR.
Deep Dive Analysis
11 Topic Outline
Alan Cumming's Introduction and Meditation Practice
Formal Meditation Technique and 'Respond, Don't React' Principle
Applying Kindness to Difficult People and Childhood Trauma
Overcoming Shame and the Impact of a Violent Childhood
Challenges of Maintaining a Meditation Habit with a Busy Schedule
Reflections on Fame, Public Recognition, and Personal Boundaries
The Genesis and Content of 'You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams'
Oprah Winfrey's 'You Gotta Get Bigger Dreams' Anecdote
Career Philosophy: Enjoying the Journey vs. Chasing Goals
Experience with UNHCR and the Syrian Refugee Crisis in Lebanon
Vulnerability of LGBT Refugees and the Mission of UNHCR
3 Key Concepts
Respond, Don't React
A principle from meditation practice that encourages taking a step back to think and make a qualified, studied decision rather than an immediate, impulsive reaction. It involves pausing to consider the best way to deal with a situation, often prioritizing kindness.
Rejecting Shame
A deliberate decision to not allow past traumas or negative experiences to define one's present or future. It involves a conscious effort to affirm self-worth and move forward, often requiring a strong will and self-training to believe in one's own goodness.
Fame Bank / Arty Bank Transaction
A mental model where mainstream success and fame (the 'fame bank') generate capital that can be 'deposited' into pursuing more obscure, artistic, or personal projects (the 'arty bank'). This allows an artist to maintain creative control and financial stability while doing the work they truly desire.
9 Questions Answered
He began by spontaneously closing his eyes and blocking things out during stressful moments, later formalizing it into a practice.
He sits on a low chair with hands on his knees and focuses on his breathing, feeling the breath coming in and going out.
He advises himself and others, like his assistant, to pause before sending an angry email or reacting impulsively, allowing time to consider a kinder, more dignified response.
He made a conscious decision to reject shame and not let past baggage dictate his present or future, using sheer force of will and some therapy to affirm his self-worth.
His highly irregular and demanding travel schedule as an actor makes it difficult to establish and maintain a consistent routine for meditation.
While acknowledging it can be annoying and overwhelming ('celebrity petting zoo'), he sees it as a tool that allows him to fund and pursue more artistic and less mainstream projects.
The title comes from a remark Oprah Winfrey made to his friend Eddie, who, desperate for a photo with her, declared it would be his 'dream,' to which Oprah replied, 'You've got to get bigger dreams.'
He learned that refugees are not a threat but people who have lost everything and simply want to return home, often fleeing the same dangers the West fears, and that organizations like the UNHCR provide crucial, well-structured aid.
LGBT refugees are often in danger even in host countries like Lebanon and cannot return home because they face immediate death, rape, electrocution, or burning, sometimes by their own families, if they are repatriated.
12 Actionable Insights
1. Respond, Don’t React
Take a step back before acting or replying, especially to emails, to consider the best approach and make a qualified, studied decision. This helps avoid impulsive actions and fosters more thoughtful engagement.
2. Practice Kindness Always
Approach every situation, even challenging ones or interactions with difficult people, with kindness and dignity, as it costs nothing to be nice. This method can lead to better outcomes by countering expectations of aggression and reminding others that kindness is possible.
3. Reject Shame Consciously
Make a conscious decision to not allow shame into your life, telling yourself ‘I’m good enough, I’m fine, it wasn’t me, and I’m going to be okay.’ This helps you move forward and prevents past baggage from dictating your present or future.
4. Embrace Routine for Habits
Strive for routine and consistent patterns in your daily life to better maintain habits like meditation. A predictable schedule, such as regular work and meal times, makes it easier to integrate and stick with practices.
5. Initiate Meditation Independently
Start meditating by simply closing your eyes and making an executive decision to go inside and block everything out for a while when feeling stressed or annoyed. This helps in realizing the benefit of quiet time and inner focus.
6. Formalize Your Meditation Practice
Establish a more formal meditation practice by sitting on a low chair with hands on knees, focusing on your breathing, and feeling the breath coming in and going out. This helps establish a consistent practice beyond just crisis moments.
7. Meditation: Training or Mesmerizing
View meditation as a form of training or mesmerizing yourself into a beneficial pattern, similar to physical training or vocal practice. This perspective helps in understanding that consistent effort improves the skill over time.
8. Enjoy the Journey, Not Goals
Focus on enjoying the present moment and the journey of life rather than solely striving for achievements and end goals. This approach helps prevent missing out on the current experience by constantly looking ahead.
9. Craft Your Negotiated Life
Craft a life that balances various demands and desires, viewing it as a negotiation to achieve your desired outcomes. Utilize the benefits of one area (e.g., mainstream work) to support other passions (e.g., obscure artistic projects).
10. Swim for Meditative Quiet
Engage in swimming as a meditative activity to find quiet time for reflection and thinking. The anonymity often found in a swimming pool can enhance this experience, allowing for a mental break.
11. Engage with Global Issues
Engage directly with global issues that concern you, such as the refugee crisis, by seeking firsthand experience or supporting organizations like the UNHCR. This helps to understand the root causes and combat rhetoric of hatred and fear.
12. Avoid “Hashtag Blessed” Language
Avoid using phrases like ‘hashtag blessed’ as they can be a lazy way to avoid analyzing your circumstances and often serve as a humble brag. Instead, be more thoughtful and genuine in expressing gratitude or describing your experiences.
6 Key Quotes
Respond, don't react.
Alan Cumming
It doesn't cost anything to be nice.
Alan Cumming
I don't want to be famous anymore.
Alan Cumming
You've got to get bigger dreams.
Oprah
I feel like I've tumbled through life. And I know that's annoying for people because it looks like I'm this captain of industry of my own, you know, brand or whatever. And I'm not. I just think things would be fun. And I do them.
Alan Cumming
They are being helped by a great institution like the UN, really, really helped, relying on it. But all they want to do is to go back and have the life that they used to have before all this started.
Alan Cumming
2 Protocols
Alan Cumming's Formal Meditation Practice
Alan Cumming- Sit on a low chair.
- Place hands on knees.
- Start to breathe, thinking about the breathing.
- Feel the breath coming in and going out.
Responding to Conflict (Applying 'Respond, Don't React')
Alan Cumming- Receive a provocative email or encounter an annoying situation.
- Take a step back.
- Wait a minute, or five minutes, before reacting.
- Rest and see how you feel.
- Make a qualified, studied decision about how to respond, prioritizing kindness.