Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical
Ben Feder recounts taking a year-long sabbatical to Bali with his family. He shares how this transformative journey, involving meditation, yoga, and art, changed his perspective and family life, and how to integrate these lessons into daily routine.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Introduction to Ben Feder's Sabbatical Story
Listener Voicemail: Focusing on Breath vs. Open Awareness
Listener Voicemail: Meditating with a Cold or Illness
Listener Voicemail: Involuntary Movement During Meditation
Ben Feder's Background and Decision to Take a Sabbatical
The Bali Sabbatical: Family Experience and Green School
Addressing the 'First World Problem' Critique of Sabbaticals
The Concept of Taking a 'Sabbatical in Your Mind'
Transitioning from High-Stimulation CEO Role to Bali Life
Discovering Art and the Flow State in Bali
Vulnerable Moments and Emotional Experiences During Sabbatical
Returning to Work and the Lasting Impact of the Sabbatical
Meditation and Sabbatical as a 'Superpower' for Effectiveness
Ben Feder's Current Role and Continued Practices
5 Key Concepts
Sabbatical in Your Mind
This concept suggests that one can achieve the transformative benefits of a physical sabbatical without needing to leave their current life or location. It involves organizing one's life, day, and mind to find a center, breathe, and ground oneself, essentially finding 'holy ground' within one's existing circumstances through practices like mindful meditation.
Holy Ground
Inspired by a poem by David White, this metaphor refers to the realization that one is always on sacred ground, capable of finding one's center and experiencing love and connection. It's about a perspective shift to see your current life and surroundings as a place for profound discovery and transformation, rather than needing to escape.
Shedding Your Skin
This metaphor, derived from the Hebrew word for 'take off' (as in shoes) also meaning an animal shedding its skin, represents the process of letting go of old ways of being or old identities. It implies emerging into something fresher, potentially stronger, and better, a transformation achieved through introspection and new experiences.
Flow State
Described as a state where the chatter of the mind shuts down, and one becomes so deeply involved in an activity that time and space fall away. It's a peaceful experience where there's nothing between the individual and the universe, often achieved through focused creative or meditative tasks, leading to a sense of being in a 'different world'.
Neuroplasticity
This refers to the brain's ability to change and adapt throughout life. The concept is implicitly linked to the idea that adults can learn new skills, like drawing, and rewire their brains, as demonstrated by Ben Feder's experience with 'Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain' exercises at age 47.
7 Questions Answered
Dan Harris suggests that if you are highly focused on the breath, it indicates good concentration, and it's perfectly fine to stick to breath-focused meditation. He notes that meditation practices can go through phases, and it's acceptable if breath meditation is your primary or sole practice.
Dan Harris recommends shifting your focus from the breath in the nostrils to the abdomen, as abdominal breathing is typically less affected by a cold. Alternatively, it can be a good time to explore other forms of meditation like open awareness, sound meditation, or loving-kindness meditation.
Involuntary movement during meditation is common and not necessarily a big deal. While Buddhist meditation generally emphasizes stillness, it's worth observing if you are subtly, perhaps unconsciously, feeding the movement voluntarily, and if so, you might try to slow that down.
Ben Feder argues that sabbaticals are more accessible than many believe, having encountered people from various professions (nurses, teachers, farmers) on sabbatical in Bali. He emphasizes that with a plan and a mindset of saving, many people can make such a change, challenging the 'nonsense' excuses people make.
You can take a 'sabbatical in your mind' by organizing your life, day, and time to center yourself, breathe, and ground yourself. This involves finding your 'holy ground' within your current circumstances, using practices like mindful meditation to achieve a perspective shift rather than a geographical relocation.
Yes, Ben Feder found that learning to draw and paint in Bali, a skill he had no prior ability in, led him to experience a 'flow state' where mental chatter ceased, and time and space fell away. This focused engagement in creative tasks can be deeply meditative and transformative.
Ben Feder believes these practices are a 'superpower' that enhance effectiveness, allowing him to approach his work with a lighter touch, slow things down mentally, and respond in a more measured way. He feels he is achieving more with a smile, rather than being constantly tense, and has not lost his edge.
11 Actionable Insights
1. Scrutinize Sabbatical Excuses
Take a hard look at the stories you tell yourself about why you can’t make a significant life change like a sabbatical, as your inner opposition may fall apart under close scrutiny, making such changes more doable than perceived.
2. Cultivate a “Sabbatical Mindset”
Organize your life, day, family, and time to center yourself, breathe, and ground yourself, allowing you to experience a “sabbatical in your mind” without needing to physically escape. This involves finding your “holy ground” in your current environment.
3. Plan for Future Sabbatical
If you desire a sabbatical but can’t take one immediately, create a plan for 1, 3, or 5 years out and save money by making small sacrifices, such as not going to the movies, to fund that amazing experience.
4. Embrace Meditation, Yoga, Art
Incorporate practices like meditation, yoga (focused on breath), and art (like painting or drawing) into your daily life as centering activities to discover your “holy ground” and foster a lighter, more measured approach to life.
5. Learn to “See” Through Art
Engage in artistic exercises, such as drawing by turning the image upside down and focusing on lines and angles, to quiet the left brain and activate the right brain, which can lead to learning new skills and experiencing a “flow” state where mind chatter, time, and space fall away.
6. Process Intense Emotions Mindfully
When intense emotions like rage arise during meditation or yoga, experience them as fully as possible by taking them in, focusing attention, and breathing through them, understanding that all emotions eventually melt away.
7. Meditation as a Superpower
View meditation as a “superpower” or tool that enhances effectiveness, allows for more achievement with a smile, and helps maintain an edge by enabling you to slow things down mentally and respond in a measured way rather than just reacting.
8. Mentor on Inner Voice
When mentoring younger colleagues, address their baseline anxiety and “deluded” states by asking about “that voice inside your head” and working on ways to quiet it, recognizing it as a universal human experience.
9. Stick to Breath Meditation
If you find it difficult to switch from breath-focused meditation to other forms like open awareness or sound, don’t get hung up on it; the breath can be a complete and effective focus for your entire meditation practice.
10. Meditate with a Cold
If you have a cold and your nose is stuffy, shift your meditation focus from the breath through the nostrils to the abdomen; alternatively, use this time to explore other forms of meditation like open awareness, sound, or loving kindness.
11. Address Involuntary Movement
If you experience involuntary movement during seated meditation, recognize it as normal, but also observe if you are subtly (voluntarily) feeding the movement and try to slow that down, while accepting what truly is involuntary.
7 Key Quotes
This is where fathers and husbands become the men they never intended to be.
Ben Feder
I had made this liberating decision for myself and I just realized it was all nonsense.
Ben Feder
Can you organize your life so that you're not carried away by the currents of whatever it is that carries your mind away into some place of stress and anxiety?
Ben Feder
It's a perspective shift, not necessarily a geographical relocation.
Dan Harris
It's like what recommendation do you have for people who want to take sabbatical but can't take their – can't take the time or can't afford it? And so regardless of that pushback, right? So I think the question comes back to mindful meditation, which is how do you take a sabbatical in your mind?
Ben Feder
Marriage, maturation, meditation are the three things that would help me – would explain from my point of view why I'm significantly less of a jerk to myself and others than I was in my 20s and 30s.
Dan Harris
I don't think I'm any less successful. I think in many ways I'm achieving more than I've ever achieved and doing it with a smile on my face instead of just, you know, tense all the time.
Ben Feder
1 Protocols
Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain Exercises
Ben Feder (describing exercises from Betty Edwards' book)- Attempt to copy a drawing (e.g., Picasso's line drawing of Igor Stravinsky) in a conventional manner.
- Turn the page upside down and draw the image again, focusing only on lines, angles, and where elements touch, possibly covering parts of the image.
- Observe the result after turning the drawing right side up, noting the improved accuracy.