Calm Your Nervous System: Simple Daily Practices for When You're Wired, Hangry, or Too Busy to Rest | Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips
Nadia Narain, a yoga and breathwork teacher, and Katia Narain Phillips, a body worker and somatic practitioner, discuss simple ways to regulate the nervous system. They introduce "glimmers" – tiny moments of beauty and connection – and share practical exercises to build resilience and capacity in daily life.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to Nervous System Regulation
Understanding Autonomic Nervous System States
Defining Glimmers and Triggers
The Importance of Slowing Down and Connection
Glimmer Check-in Practice
Releasing Facial and Jaw Tension
The 'Shake It Off' Exercise
Visual Field and Nervous System Safety
Mindful Chores and Informal Mindfulness
The Problem of Speediness and Rushing
Creating Glimmers in Domestic Spaces
Mindful Eating and Basic Body Needs
Understanding Different Types of Rest
The Practice of Setting Boundaries
Exploring the Concept of Reparenting
8 Key Concepts
Autonomic Nervous System
This complex part of the nervous system automatically controls vital bodily functions like breath and heartbeat. It protects us, but can get stuck in old protective patterns (triggers) from past experiences, even when they're no longer helpful.
Sympathetic Nervous System
Often called the 'fight or flight' state, this system is responsible for excitement, movement, and getting us energized. However, it can also be activated in situations of perceived danger or stress.
Parasympathetic Nervous System
This system is associated with calming, 'rest and digest' functions. It also has a 'shutdown' branch, which can manifest as dissociation or numbing behaviors like endless scrolling, which masquerade as rest but are not truly restorative.
Glimmers
The opposite of triggers, glimmers are tiny moments of beauty, safety, or connection found in daily life. Noticing them helps to deepen breath, soften the body, and create flexibility and capacity in the nervous system.
Triggers
Sensations or events that activate old nervous system patterns, often stemming from childhood experiences. When triggered, individuals may react in ways that are 'hysterical' because they are 'historical,' projecting past feelings onto the present.
Negativity Bias
An evolutionary wiring in humans that makes us more likely to scan for and focus on threats. This bias often causes us to overlook the positive, beautiful moments (glimmers) that are also present in our environment.
Fascia
A connective tissue that runs throughout the entire body. Releasing tension in one area, such as the jaw, can create a beneficial cascading effect that helps to release tension in other connected areas like the neck and shoulders.
Reparenting
The practice of taking care of oneself with the same kindness, nourishment, and attention one would give to a child. This process helps to undo unhelpful conditioning, improve one's relationship with themselves, and foster overall flourishing.
10 Questions Answered
The goal isn't to stay calm all the time, but to create flexibility and capacity in the nervous system to handle difficult situations and also enjoy life's enjoyable parts.
True rest involves still having awareness of your body, feet on the ground, and breath, whereas numbing out (like endless scrolling) means you're 'gone' and disconnected from your physical sensations.
Glimmers are tiny moments of beauty, safety, or connection (the opposite of triggers) that help deepen breath, soften the body, and build resilience in the nervous system by counteracting the negativity bias.
Animals shake to release excess energy and tension after being chased or scared, which is a natural way to disperse the heightened energy from a sympathetic nervous system response.
A narrowed visual field (like when looking at a phone) signals danger to the nervous system, while opening up your vision (e.g., looking at a horizon) signals safety and promotes relaxation.
Yes, by performing chores slowly and mindfully, paying full attention to sensory details, it can have as much benefit for nervous system regulation and presence as formal meditation practices.
Rushing not only hinders nervous system regulation but also impairs relationships and our ability to notice and help others, as demonstrated by studies showing people in a hurry are less likely to offer assistance.
Before committing to something, assess your current capacity and how the commitment would make you feel, starting with practicing saying 'no' to small, low-stakes requests to build confidence.
Reparenting means treating yourself with the same care, nourishment, and kindness you would offer a child, which helps to undo unhelpful conditioning, improve self-relationship, and foster overall flourishing.
Society often prioritizes busyness and productivity, leading to feelings of guilt for slowing down, causing us to neglect fundamental bodily signals like hunger or needing to use the restroom, which contributes to stress.
15 Actionable Insights
1. Practice Reparenting Yourself
Treat yourself with the same care, nourishment, and kindness you would give a child, such as making a delicious meal or creating a calming evening routine, to improve your self-relationship and overall well-being.
2. Set Mindful Boundaries
Before committing to something, assess your current capacity and how the commitment would make you feel, practicing with small ’no’s first to avoid overwhelm, resentment, and rushing.
3. Tune Into Daily Glimmers
Consciously seek out and savor small moments of beauty, safety, or connection (glimmers) throughout your day to counteract the negativity bias and build nervous system capacity.
4. Shake Off Excess Energy
Perform a gentle or vigorous shaking motion for 10-30 seconds to release tension and excess energy, especially after stressful events or arguments, mimicking what animals do.
5. Expand Your Visual Field
Open your vision by looking around a wide space or at a horizon, or by using the two-finger trick, to signal safety to your nervous system and promote relaxation, counteracting the narrowing effect of stress.
6. Slow Down Daily Chores
Engage in chores like washing dishes or sweeping slowly and mindfully, paying full attention to sensory details, to create a calm state and achieve similar benefits to formal meditation.
7. Prioritize True Rest
Identify and engage in the specific types of rest that truly recharge you, whether it’s quiet time, social interaction, active rest like exercise, or creative pursuits, understanding that rest is essential for productivity and well-being.
8. Attend to Basic Body Needs
Pay close attention to fundamental body signals like hunger, thirst, and needing to use the restroom, and address them promptly to prevent unnecessary stress and nervous system dysregulation.
9. Release Facial & Jaw Tension
Stick your tongue into your cheek and massage your jaw and under your cheekbone area to release stored tension, which can also alleviate neck and shoulder tightness and help you drop back into your body.
10. Cultivate Domestic Glimmers
Arrange your home environment with soft, comfortable elements and good lighting, or practice a ’turndown service’ for yourself, to create a regulating and beautiful tone in your domestic space.
11. Be Flexible with Tidiness
Aim for a clean and comfortable home but avoid obsessiveness or rigidity about mess, as extreme control can be a nervous system state; allow for some flexibility without feeling danger.
12. Drive with Generosity
Consciously choose to be generous when driving, such as letting another car go, as it can create a better feeling in your body and spread positive energy to others.
13. Use Music for Glimmers
Play music that makes you feel good while driving or doing other activities, and tune into the positive physical sensations it evokes to regulate your nervous system.
14. Embrace a Beginner’s Mind
Engage in new activities where you’re not expected to be good or productive, like learning a new sport, to allow your brain to relax and access different, non-cognitive parts of your mind.
15. Question Future Commitments
When asked to commit to something in the future, use the heuristic of asking yourself if you would agree to it if the event were today, to avoid overcommitting.
8 Key Quotes
If it's hysterical, it's historical?
Katya Narain Phillips
Sometimes being like dissociated and shutdown, it feels good sometimes. So you have to sort of be careful, like, oh, am I just like zoning out? And am I shut down just scrolling, but it kind of feels good because I'm just like numbing myself? Or am I relaxed?
Katya Narain Phillips
The human animal is wired for what's called the negativity bias, which you can understand from an evolutionary standpoint, we most likely, you know, evolved to scan the environment for threats. It's very easy to overlook the opposite of triggers, the opposite of threats, the moments of beauty, the moments, tiny little moments of beauty.
Dan Harris
Part of nervous system regulation isn't just about being calm and, you know, relaxed all the time, but being able to have enough capacity to sit with the uncomfortable.
Katya Narain Phillips
We've just lost touch with all of these natural ways of being, being with each other, being with our own bodies because we're so much living in our heads.
Nadia Narain
When you're rushing, you just can't see what's needed around you.
Nadia Narain
Rest is not just the reward you get for getting through your to-do list. In order to effectively get through your to-do list, you need rest.
Dan Harris
We have this harsh critic sitting on our shoulder all the time judging us.
Nadia Narain
5 Protocols
Glimmer Check-in
Katya Narain Phillips- Sit and pay attention to your body.
- Bring to mind a glimmer, something that makes you feel good inside (e.g., first cup of coffee, walking in nature, pet cuddling, a smile from a stranger).
- Notice what happens in your body: shoulders drop, a smile appears, breath deepens, or a general feeling of settling and okayness.
Facial Tension Release
Katya Narain Phillips- Stick your tongue into the side of your cheek and hold it to help release the fascia in your jaw area.
- Take your fingertips and gently massage into your jaw and under your cheekbone area.
Shake It Off
Nadia Narain- Stand on your feet and initiate a gentle shaking motion, allowing it to go through your feet and up into your legs.
- Gradually add more dynamic energy, lifting your feet off the ground, adding your arms overhead, and shaking your fingers.
- Continue for as little as 10 seconds, 30 seconds, or for the duration of a favorite song.
Visual Field Exercise
Katya Narain Phillips- Put two fingers in front of you with your arms out straight.
- Move your fingers as far wide as you can while still being able to see them, which opens up your visual space.
- Alternatively, look at a horizon when possible, allowing your vision to open without narrowing.
Mindful Chores
Nadia Narain- Choose a daily chore, such as washing dishes or sweeping.
- Perform the chore very slowly, focusing on one thing at a time.
- Pay full attention to sensory details, such as the bubbles, the warmth of the water, or the movement of the broom.