Can You Be OK With Uncertainty? | Jack Kornfield
Jack Kornfield, a pioneering meditation teacher and clinical psychologist, discusses how the pandemic serves as a worldwide initiation, offering a chance to grow in consciousness. He explains how meditation cultivates inner courage and loving awareness to embrace uncertainty and navigate difficult emotions.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Introduction: Uncertainty and the Power of Meditation
The Coronavirus as a Worldwide Initiation
Growing Wisely Through Difficult Passages
The Practice of Bringing Body and Mind Together
Cultivating Mindful Loving Awareness for Inner Experience
Overcoming Aversion and Embracing 'Schmaltz'
Dealing with Overwhelm and the Inner Landscape
Addressing Political Polarization with Compassion
Handling Uncertainty and the Urge to Predict the Future
Navigating Family Relations During Lockdown
Patience, Constancy, and the Unfolding of Life
The Profound Power of Attention and Love
4 Key Concepts
Initiation
A process of growth in consciousness and understanding that occurs through significant life challenges, which can be deliberate or unexpected. Traditionally, cultures recognized initiations as crucial for a young person to be considered ripe or wise, leading to profound personal transformation if navigated consciously.
Human Window of Tolerance
A neuroscientific concept referring to our capacity to tolerate our own uncertainty, insecurity, and vulnerability. Expanding this window allows individuals to become more stable and steady, preventing the projection of inner pain onto others and fostering a more loving presence in the world.
Mindful Loving Awareness
A practice that combines mindful attention with kindness or compassion. It involves observing one's thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment, allowing them to display themselves and untangle, rather than engaging in aversion or self-criticism. This approach fosters inner well-being and a deeper connection to one's full humanity.
Constancy
A preferred term over 'patience' for enduring difficult times, implying a steady ability to return to the present moment and one's inner ground. It's about tending to one's inner garden and being present for the unfolding of life, rather than grimly waiting for an end or trying to force outcomes.
8 Questions Answered
The current global situation, like the coronavirus pandemic, is an initiation because it forces humanity to confront profound challenges and loss, which can lead to significant growth in consciousness and understanding, similar to traditional rites of passage that prove one's maturity and resilience.
To navigate wisely, one must allow themselves to feel deep emotions like fear, grief, and sadness, holding them with mindful, loving awareness. This process, which neuroscientists call expanding the 'human window of tolerance,' prevents reactivity and allows for a more steady and timeless presence.
Begin by taking a seat and bringing body and mind to the same place, perhaps by focusing on the breath or scanning the body. Once a bit quieted, turn mindful attention to notice what's happening internally (emotions, sensations), holding them with kindness and allowing them to open and untangle without judgment.
Without kindness or compassion, mindfulness can become dry or even a way of judging oneself and one's experiences (e.g., 'I shouldn't be angry'). Loving awareness allows one to acknowledge and accept all aspects of experience, fostering inner well-being and preventing a state of war with one's own life.
Recognize that much polarization is fueled by underlying loss, fear, and grief. Instead of focusing on differences, each person can bring their 'medicine' by quieting the mind, tending the heart, and then asking, 'What can I add?' or 'How can I help?' to rebuild the world with compassion.
Acknowledge that things are inherently uncertain and that the brain is wired for self-preservation to predict. Bring mindfulness to the feeling of uncertainty, name it, make space for it, and hold it with compassion. This allows one to bear uncertainty and act from a steadier place, taking one step or day at a time.
Take as much time apart as possible, even in the same home. Engage in shared activities that don't require direct interaction, like watching movies. When friction arises, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself, 'What's my best intention?' to shift from conflict to understanding and care.
Instead of 'patience,' which can feel like grim endurance, cultivate 'constancy.' This is the ability to consistently return to a steady inner state, acknowledging that where we are is 'here now.' It involves tending to our inner life like a garden, understanding that important things unfold on a mysterious timescale beyond our control.
40 Actionable Insights
1. Quiet Mind, Hold Deep Feelings
Sit quietly and meditate to access deep feelings like fear, grief, and love; hold these emotions with mindful, loving awareness to find a steady and timeless presence during difficult times.
2. Bring Body and Mind to Same Place
Begin meditation by sitting quietly and bringing your body and mind into the same place, either by focusing on the natural rhythm of your breath or by scanning and relaxing each part of your body.
3. Embrace Difficulties with Kindness
When difficult emotions or sensations arise, hold them with mindful attention and kindness, allowing them to open and show themselves rather than resisting or trying to make them disappear.
4. Cultivate Friendly Awareness
Integrate ‘friendly awareness’ or ‘kind attention’ into your mindfulness practice to prevent it from becoming dry or a subtle form of self-judgment, allowing you to be truly open to your experience.
5. Tolerate Vulnerability for Stability
Expand your ‘window of tolerance’ by practicing acceptance of your own vulnerability and insecurity, which helps you become more stable, steady, and loving, preventing projection onto others.
6. Direct Attention Inward
Utilize the human ability to direct attention inward through meditation to learn about your inner landscape, fostering deeper understanding, steadiness, and a more compassionate heart.
7. Ask “What’s My Best Intention?”
When friction or conflict arises, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself ‘What’s my best intention?’ to shift your internal channel towards a more constructive and loving response.
8. Act Usefully for Well-being
Engage in useful and helpful actions, even small ones, as this serves as an antidote to painful mind states such as selfishness and the anxiety of future uncertainty.
9. Ground in Present Amidst Uncertainty
When confronted with uncertainty, ground yourself in the present moment by acknowledging what is certain (your presence, sensory details) and proceed ‘a step at a time’ from a place of comfort with the unknown.
10. Surrender to Not Knowing
Experience liberation by surrendering to the reality of not knowing what the future holds, rather than struggling against the inherent uncertainty of life.
11. See Innocence in Family
When experiencing irritation with a family member, practice seeing them as their younger, innocent self to reconnect with their original goodness and shift your perspective.
12. Don’t Pick Up Conflict’s Boulder
When irritation or conflict arises, remember that you don’t have to engage with it; choose not to ‘pick up the boulder’ by acknowledging the feeling without escalating into an aggressive cycle.
13. Cultivate Constancy, Not Patience
Instead of forcing ‘patience,’ cultivate ‘constancy,’ which is the ability to repeatedly return to the present moment and accept ‘here’ as where you are, rather than trying to steel yourself to get through something.
14. Embrace Annihilation for Inner Strength
To find what is indestructible within yourself and cultivate true awakening, repeatedly expose yourself to situations that feel like annihilation.
15. Seek Growth-Oriented Support
During hard times, seek out friends or mentors who will help you risk yourself and pass courageously through difficulty, rather than those who simply offer comfort and encourage your old self to survive.
16. Approach Hard Times Consciously
When facing difficult life events or ‘initiations,’ approach them consciously and wisely to learn profound lessons that might not be accessible otherwise.
17. Use Meditation for Uncertainty
Practice meditation to manage the discomfort and short-circuiting effect of uncertainty on your system, as it is perfectly designed to help take the edge off.
18. Avoid Reactive Blame
Prevent fear, anxiety, anger, and loss from building up and leading to reactive blame by instead engaging in deeper self-reflection and processing these emotions.
19. Address Inner Pain to Reduce Hate
Recognize that clinging to hate and prejudice can be a way to avoid personal pain; address your own pain and insecurity to foster a more loving and less blaming stance.
20. Observe Inner States Mindfully
After quieting your mind, direct mindful attention to observe your emotions (e.g., fear, anger) and bodily sensations (e.g., tension) without running away, ignoring, or hating them.
21. Thank Emotions for Protection
When experiencing emotions like fear or anger, acknowledge their protective intent by saying ’thank you for trying to protect me,’ then reassure yourself that you are okay for now.
22. Be a Loving Inner Witness
Cultivate the ability to be a loving witness to your inner experiences, becoming the ‘one who knows’ both the difficult and beautiful aspects of your body and heart, which expands your window of tolerance.
23. Accept Follies with Warmth
View your own faults and follies with the warmth of a kind heart, like ‘snow falling on warm ground,’ accepting them without judgment or clinging, recognizing that ‘we’re all human.’
24. Tell Truth, Love Everyone
Strive to ’tell the truth’ and ’love everybody,’ even when faced with annoying or difficult people, as this can lead to a deeper, more compassionate understanding of humanity.
25. See Good in Others
Actively look for the good in others, as Nelson Mandela suggested, because people often respond by acting better when they feel seen and valued.
26. Trust Your Inner Wisdom
Approach meditation as an act of care and trust your organism’s innate understanding, allowing kindness to guide your practice rather than treating it as a grim duty.
27. Mindfulness as Self-Care
Understand and practice mindfulness as a fundamental act of care for yourself, allowing you to return to your innate capacity for compassion.
28. Be a Source of Hope
During challenging times, focus on bringing your unique contributions, being uplifting, and carrying hope, recognizing humanity’s enormous creativity to rebuild.
29. Quiet, Tend, Contribute
Quiet your mind and tend your heart with courage and compassion, then go out into the world to identify what you can add, what vision you have, and what beautiful or meaningful things want to be born.
30. Ask “How Can I Help?”
To be a productive and useful citizen, especially in challenging times, ask yourself ‘How can I help?’ and then take action, as this can be an antidote to painful mind states like selfishness.
31. Understand Anger’s Roots
When observing anger in others, particularly those with differing political views, try to recognize that it often stems from underlying fear, pain, hurt, or loss, which can foster greater compassion.
32. Support Community in Uncertainty
In times of uncertainty and hardship, take responsibility to support your community through direct actions like helping at a food bank, donating, or supporting non-profits, which can also provide a sense of purpose.
33. Create Space in Family Life
When living in close quarters with family, intentionally create time and space apart, and engage in shared activities like watching movies that don’t solely focus on direct interaction to reduce friction.
34. Ask “What Do You Need?” Kindly
In times of family friction, pause and ask each other ‘What do you need?’ with a curious and open intention, rather than blame, to foster understanding and navigate difficulties together.
35. Practice Being Here Now
Embrace the practice of ‘being here now,’ focusing on being fully present in the current moment rather than constantly striving for a future outcome.
36. Observe Impatience Kindly
When impatience arises, observe it with humor and kindness, acknowledging its attempt to make things work out, and gently reassure yourself, ‘I’m okay for now.’
37. Tend Life Like a Garden
Approach the unfolding of your life and relationships with constancy, tending them like a garden by offering care and attention, rather than trying to force or control their growth.
38. Utilize Guided Meditations
If new to meditation, use guided meditations from teachers like Jack Kornfield (JackKornfield.com) or others to get regular support and help establish your practice.
39. Integrate Daily Quieting Practices
Start your day with quieting practices, take mini pauses throughout, or sit at the end of the day to steady yourself and cultivate stillness, which can make a significant difference.
40. Attention as an Act of Love
Understand that giving your attention is an act of love; practice mindfulness as a way of being fully present for yourself, for others, and for the world around you.
6 Key Quotes
Only to the extent that a person exposes themselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found within them.
Kalfrey Durkheim (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
Ultimately, it's upon your vulnerability that you depend.
Rilke (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
It never hurts to see the good in someone. They often act the better because of it.
Nelson Mandela (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is the ancient and eternal law.
Ghosananda (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
Do not judge me by my successes. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.
Nelson Mandela (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
In the evening, we shall be examined on love, and it won't be multiple choice.
Thomas Santolella (quoted by Jack Kornfield)
2 Protocols
Basic Meditation Practice for Inner Presence
Jack Kornfield- Take your seat and bring your attention to where you are, uniting your body and mind in the same place.
- Inhabit your body by feeling your breathing or scanning through and relaxing each part.
- Notice thoughts and emotions as they rise and fall around the steadying anchor of your breath or body.
- Turn your capacity of mindful attention to notice what's 'cooking' internally, such as emotions or bodily sensations.
- Hold these experiences with attention and kindness, allowing them to display themselves without running away, ignoring, or hating them.
- Gently name what arises (e.g., 'fear,' 'panic,' 'restless') to acknowledge it and become a loving witness, allowing it to open and soften in its own time.
Navigating Interpersonal Friction and Conflict
Jack Kornfield- Pause when friction or conflict arises.
- Take a breath or two.
- Ask yourself, 'What's my best intention?'
- Allow your heart to answer (e.g., 'I want to get along with this person,' 'I love this person,' 'My best intention is to get through this well for all of us').
- Let this intention change the channel of your interaction, leading to a different response.