David Leite, Food Writer, Memoirist (LIVE!)
David Leite, author of "Notes on a Banana," discusses his decades-long struggle with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, the eventual diagnosis and treatment, and how food and cooking served as grounding mechanisms. He shares personal stories, including his journey with mental illness and sexuality, emphasizing the importance of seeking help and self-acceptance.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to David Leite and his Memoir
Origin of the Book Title: Notes on a Banana
Motivation for Writing a Memoir on Mental Illness
Early Experiences with Panic Attacks and Depression
Decades of Undiagnosed Mental Illness and Early Coping Attempts
The Path to Bipolar II Diagnosis and Effective Medication
Cooking and Food as a Form of Mindfulness and Grounding
David's Past Experiences with Meditation and Spirituality
The Fallacy of Uniqueness and the Human Condition
Experience with Aesthetic Realism and Conversion Therapy
The Concept of Veneta in Portuguese Culture
The 'Banana Project' as a Movement of Love and Support
Understanding Hypomania in Bipolar II Disorder
Advice for Clinicians and Parents of Children with Mental Illness
The Therapeutic and Challenging Process of Writing Memoir
Meeting Alan and the Role of Support in His Life
5 Key Concepts
Bipolar 2 Disorder
A milder form of bipolar disorder, characterized by hypomania (a mini version of mania) and significant depressive episodes. Unlike Bipolar 1, it typically does not involve the severe psychotic or broad spectrum manic behaviors, but depressions can be very debilitating.
Hypomania
A state experienced in Bipolar 2 disorder where an individual feels great, highly creative, and can stay up all night, often getting a lot done. It can escalate into irritability, anger, and rage, eventually plummeting into severe depression, but life generally does not collapse during the hypomanic phase itself.
Veneta
An untranslatable Portuguese word that describes an indomitable force of will, determination, rage, passion, and power, all rolled into one. It represents a strong, unyielding drive to achieve one's desires.
Mindfulness
The practice of paying careful attention to whatever is happening in the present moment, and being aware that you are paying attention to it. It can be practiced through various activities, such as observing a pad of butter melting.
Fallacy of Uniqueness
The mistaken belief that one's own internal struggles, particularly mental chatter or perceived 'craziness,' are unique to them. This concept highlights that an 'insane torrent of thoughts' is a universal aspect of the human condition.
8 Questions Answered
The title comes from David's mother, who would write encouraging notes on a banana for his breakfast every morning. It was her way of communicating love and support, which David describes as the 1960s version of Snapchat.
He initially planned a book of funny food essays, but after a blog post about his bipolar disorder received an overwhelming response, including a letter from a woman whose son had died by suicide, he felt compelled to share his full story to help others.
He experienced full-blown panic attacks starting at age 11, periods of deep depression with punitive thoughts, insomnia, and an inability to function, leading him to drop out of college multiple times and struggle for decades without an accurate diagnosis.
Cooking provided a grounding and calming effect, slowing down time and offering moments of happiness. The rhythmic actions of chopping and observing simple culinary processes, like butter melting, brought comfort and a sense of being present.
The Banana Project is a social initiative inspired by David's mother, encouraging people to write notes of encouragement, love, or support on a banana for someone they care about, photograph it, and share it on social media with the hashtag #notesonabanana to create a digital quilt of compassion.
His hypomania starts with a subtle 'revving up' of energy, leading to increased productivity, grand ideas, and being a charming host. However, it escalates to irritability, anger, rage, and panic, eventually plummeting into a severe depressive abyss.
He emphasizes the need for great patience, deep reassurance that the child will be okay, and a proper diagnosis. He also advises parents to carefully monitor doctors and engage in a strong dialogue with them, as parents are crucial in managing the child's care at home.
He describes writing the book as 'crawling on my belly across broken glass,' indicating it was a very hard and often upsetting process. However, he is glad he did it, as it allowed him to see himself in a more three-dimensional way and achieve greater self-understanding.
24 Actionable Insights
1. Cease Battling Immutable Realities
Stop expending energy battling against inherent aspects of your identity or unchangeable conditions, such as sexual orientation or mental illness, as these are unwinnable struggles that lead to exhaustion.
2. Seek Accurate Diagnosis Actively
Take an active role in seeking an accurate diagnosis for persistent health issues, including self-research and finding competent doctors for evaluation, as this was critical for David to finally understand and treat his condition.
3. Patiently Find Right Medication
Understand that finding the ‘proper medication combination’ for mental health conditions can take several years, requiring patience and persistence to achieve significant relief and stability.
4. Lean Into Reality Without Judgment
Practice meditation to learn to ’lean into whatever is happening right now’ and embrace ‘being fully who you are without judgment,’ which helps to stop the futile struggle against reality.
5. Meditation: Noticing Distraction is Success
Understand that in meditation, the ‘game is noticing’ when your mind wanders and then gently returning your attention to your breath; this act of noticing and restarting is considered success, not failure.
6. Counter Fallacy of Uniqueness
Challenge the ‘fallacy of uniqueness’ by understanding that feelings of being ‘uniquely crazy’ are a common part of the human situation, which can reduce isolation and self-judgment.
7. Support Children with Mental Illness
For children with mental illness, provide deep reassurance that they ‘will be okay’ and that help is available, ensure a proper diagnosis, and parents should actively partner with doctors to find the right fit and manage care.
8. Nurture Hope and Reassurance
Offer consistent reassurance and hope to individuals experiencing mental health struggles, emphasizing that they ‘will be okay’ and nurturing their ‘human pilot light’ to prevent it from extinguishing.
9. Practical Mental Health Coping
Actively manage mental health by prioritizing sleep (including naps), maintaining regular eating habits, engaging in therapy, and consulting with a psychiatrist for necessary medication adjustments to prevent severe episodes.
10. Monitor Sleep, Eating, Activity
Pay close attention to your sleep patterns, eating habits, and overall activity levels, as disruptions in these areas can be early indicators of an impending hypomanic or mental health episode.
11. Engage Rhythmic, Grounding Activities
Practice rhythmic and repetitive activities, such as chopping food while cooking, to slow down your mind, find moments of calm, and experience small instances of happiness.
12. Mindfulness in Everyday Moments
Cultivate mindfulness by carefully observing simple, mundane sensory experiences, such as watching a pad of butter melt, to feel grounded and present in the moment.
13. Employ Diverse Coping Strategies
When facing an undiagnosed or persistent struggle, try a variety of coping mechanisms such as journaling, confiding in close friends, engaging in spiritual practices, exercising, and adjusting your diet.
14. Use Distraction for Pain
Engage in activities like watching a favorite show (e.g., Julia Child reruns) that can serve as a ‘good distraction’ to temporarily turn off painful or punitive thoughts.
15. Communicate Desperation for Help
When in a desperate situation, communicate the severity of your internal struggle to adults or caregivers to ensure you receive the necessary professional help, as David did to see a psychiatrist.
16. Cautious Medication Approach for Kids
Exercise caution and seek alternatives or second opinions before accepting tranquilizers or strong medications for children, as David and his father declined Valium at age 11.
17. Meditation Hard with Mood Disorders
Recognize that meditation can be ‘virtually impossible’ for individuals experiencing severe manic or depressive phases of a mood disorder due to intense internal chatter and difficulty focusing.
18. Recognize “Veneta” Dual Nature
Understand that an ‘indomitable force of will’ or ‘veneta’ can be powerful for achieving external goals, but recognize its potential for self-battling and learn to apply it discerningly rather than against internal realities like identity or illness.
19. Share Your Difficult Story
Share your personal story, particularly about challenging life experiences, to connect with and potentially help others who may be facing similar struggles.
20. Memoir: Be Honest, Specific
When writing a memoir, be ‘honest enough with yourself’ and focus on making your story ‘more specific,’ as this approach increases its universal appeal and ability to deeply connect with readers.
21. Deep Reflection for Self-Understanding
Undertake a process of deep self-reflection, like writing a memoir, to achieve a more profound and ’three-dimensional’ understanding of your own life and identity.
22. Consistent Daily Meditation Practice
Commit to a consistent daily meditation practice, such as 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night, to help achieve mental equilibrium and potentially unlock unexpected creative outlets.
23. Question Spiritual Claims Critically
When exploring spiritual or unconventional practices, maintain a critical perspective and ‘question the validity’ of claims like talking to spirits, as advised by the host.
24. Participate in Banana Project
Write notes of encouragement, love, or support on a banana for a loved one, take a picture, and share it on social media using #notesonabanana to contribute to a ‘digital quilt of love, support, and caring.’
8 Key Quotes
I have nothing to lose by telling the story.
David Leite
It's like throwing everything at the wall and hoping something is going to stick.
David Leite
When I finally diagnosed myself and then I went to a very competent doctor and I said, just evaluate me. I don't need to see you. Just evaluate me. And he took me in and he evaluated me. And he said, you have bipolar 2 disorder, which is a milder form of bipolar.
David Leite
I felt as if all this armor that I'd been carrying around since I was 11 just fell off of me in pieces. And I actually understood my weight and my size and the volume I took up in the world. Because I was no longer fighting this invisible enemy.
David Leite
The human condition seen clearly is insanity. You know, just if you close your eyes and watch what happens, it ain't pretty for anyone.
Dan Harris
The more specific your story, the more universal the appeal.
David Leite
If you do not have a mental illness, if you do not have bipolar or any kind of mental illness, you cannot imagine the horror it is, especially to a child who doesn't have the cognitive ability to be able to go, this is what's happening.
David Leite
You can fall in love with the guy who looks back three times.
David Leite