Delight and Joy Are Survival Mechanisms and Acts of Resistance | Ross Gay
Ross Gay, author and professor, discusses how noting delight can counter negativity bias and serve as an ethical act. He explores the benefits of writing by hand, how smartphones and rushing block joy, and the deep connection between grief and joy.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Introduction to Ross Gay and the Concepts of Delight and Joy
Origin of Ross Gay's 'Book of Delights' Project
Delight as Counter-Programming to Negativity Bias
The Ethical Dimension of Noticing and Sharing Delight
The 'Book of More Delights' and the Practice of Aging
The Importance of Writing by Hand
Specific Examples of Everyday Delights
Smartphones and Rushing as Delight Blockers
Strengthening the Delight Radar and the Power of Connection
The Distinction Between Delight and Joy
Joy as a Practice of Survival and an Act of Resistance
Critiquing Modern Systems and Cultivating Care
The Inherent Connection Between Grief and Joy
The Black American Experience and the Ethic of Community Care
5 Key Concepts
Negativity Bias
An evolutionary wiring that makes humans more attuned to threats, which can be counter-programmed by actively noticing and articulating positive experiences like delight, shifting attention to nourishing and caring aspects of life.
Delight
An occasional feeling or experience that arises from observing sweetness or beauty outside oneself, often serving as pleasant evidence of connection. It can be cultivated through daily practice and is sometimes dictated by personal taste.
Joy
A fundamental, always-present state of deep connection to others and the world that does not require a specific occasion to be felt. It is available to us, can emerge from sorrow, and is considered by some as an act of resistance against alienation.
Offenses of Joy
Actions or refusals that challenge systems promoting disconnection and self-sufficiency, such as refusing QR codes or admitting a need for help. These acts make the need for human connection more evident and foster closeness.
Rhizomatic Care
A pervasive, interconnected web of mutual support and tending to one another that extends in all directions (spatially, temporally, spiritually). It is often unnoticed but is described as the 'truest thing by far' despite narratives of individualism.
9 Questions Answered
His third book of poetry, 'Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude,' was unexpectedly described by readers as joyful, prompting him to explore the concepts more deeply and embark on a daily writing project about delight.
By intentionally observing and articulating what one loves daily, it serves as a form of 'counter-programming' against the evolutionary tendency to focus on threats, shifting attention to nourishing and caring aspects of life.
Writing by hand makes the practice simple and accessible anywhere without needing technology, and it fosters a different, more digressive and less self-editing syntax and logic compared to writing on a computer.
Smartphones can create an illusion of self-sufficiency and foster disconnection, while rushing through daily activities can make individuals less pleasant and less likely to notice the small, delightful moments around them.
Delight is occasional, an experience that happens when something specific occurs, often dictated by personal taste. Joy, conversely, is a fundamental, always-present connection to others and the world that doesn't require a specific occasion, serving as a deeper, underlying state.
Practicing connection and witnessing shared humanity (joy) refutes the illusion of alienation promoted by many societal systems. This collective awareness and inclination to share poses a 'real problem' for systems that benefit from disconnection, making it an act of resistance.
Joy is not separate from sorrow but often emerges from it, particularly through the ways people help and carry each other through shared pain. The awareness of the 'wound of existence' (impermanence, loss) can orient people towards deeper connection and mutual care, which is an expression of joy.
Curiosity, or a 'don't know mind,' is essential because it allows one to wonder about what will happen rather than despairing from the belief of knowing everything. This openness to uncertainty feels like 'being okay' and invites deeper engagement with the world and others.
The historical experience of Black Americans has often necessitated an acute practice of belonging and mutual care, fostering an 'ethic of care' that counters the broader American ethos of the 'self-made person' and highlights the fundamental truth that individuals 'come from people.'
15 Actionable Insights
1. Catalog Daily Delights
Commit to writing a short essay every day for a year about one item or experience that brings you delight, as this practice helps counter negativity bias and makes you more aware of what you love.
2. Embrace Curiosity
Cultivate a ‘don’t know mind’ and curiosity about how things will unfold, rather than clinging to certainty, as this stance fosters comfort, connection, and prevents the despair that comes from perceived knowledge.
3. Cultivate Connection
Actively seek and practice connection with others and the natural world, because delight often provides ‘pleasant evidence of connection,’ which helps you feel less alone and more deeply connected.
4. Engage in Community
Participate in community-oriented activities like pickup basketball, gardening, or potlucks, as these practices incite joy by providing evidence of connection and refuting the illusion of alienation.
5. Observe Everyday Care
Pay close attention to the ordinary ways people care for, tend to, and look out for one another, as noticing these ’not special, but wondrous’ connections helps combat feelings of cosmic loneliness.
6. Practice Impermanence Awareness
Practice being aware of life’s impermanence and the ‘wound of existence’ (e.g., loss, pain), which can orient you to lean toward others and foster mutual care when difficulties arise.
7. Infuse Mundane Aesthetics
Approach everyday activities like hanging clothes, sweeping, or folding laundry with an ’ethic of aesthetics,’ finding delight and beauty in how you perform these mundane tasks.
8. Write by Hand
Write by hand for creative or reflective tasks, as it leads to a different kind of syntax, logic, and grammar, allowing for more wild, beautiful, and unexpected thought by not deleting initial thinking.
9. Draft Quickly
When writing, draft quickly to keep the practice simple and to allow for a ‘weird, rangy, digressive, physical syntax’ that can lead to more original and unexpected thought.
10. Limit Smartphone Use
Consider using a ‘dumb phone’ or consciously limiting smartphone use, as these devices can be ‘delight blockers’ that promote disconnection and prevent opportunities for sweet helplessness and human interaction.
11. Avoid Rushing
Consciously avoid rushing through daily activities, as constant rushing negatively impacts your mood and behavior, making you less pleasant to yourself and the people around you.
12. Embrace Helplessness
Allow yourself to be ‘sweetly helpless’ sometimes, such as by asking for directions, as this permits you to ask for help, fostering connection and making your need for others more evident.
13. Refuse Isolating Tech
Deliberately refuse certain isolating technologies or practices (e.g., QR codes for menus) to encourage closer interaction and make mutual need for one another more evident.
14. Curate Social Circle
Be mindful of the people you interact with, as being around others who are able to notice delight can positively influence your own mood and practice.
15. Share Excess Resources
Share excess resources, such as garden produce, with others, as this is a natural, everyday act of care and community that demonstrates our interconnectedness.
9 Key Quotes
I was cognizant of some kind of need or desire to actually practicing and attending to what I now know is like attending to what I love, as opposed to attending to what is terrifying or anxiety provoking or whatever, etc.
Ross Gay
I'm not just delighted inside of the little cave of my brain. I'm delighted because I'm observing things outside of the little cave of my brain.
Ross Gay
I feel like that sort of, or I wonder, I should say, that that sort of bias, that kind of lookout bias, heads up bias, must also be some kind of inclination to notice what is nourishing and caring. And also not just to notice it, but I think, I wonder, I mean, I wonder if there's also some inclination to actually share it.
Ross Gay
When I write by hand, there's a different kind of syntax that I use, a different kind of logic, a different kind of grammar, I think, than when I'm writing on the computer.
Ross Gay
It might also be that earliness, maybe especially earliness on account of someone or something else's lateness can feel like the universe just dropped a bouquet of time and often a luminous bouquet of time in your lap.
Ross Gay
Despair is the result of knowing everything because you just know how it's going to go. And curiosity, wondering about how it's going to go is something else.
Ross Gay
Despite every single lie to the contrary, despite every single action born of that lie, we are in the midst of rhizomatic care that extends in every direction, spatially, temporally, spiritually, you name it. It's certainly not the only thing we're in the midst of, but it's the truest thing by far.
Ross Gay
My curiosity is the curiosity itself. I'm sort of learning and becoming more aware of what certain kinds of thinking or certain kinds of writing slash thinking seem to offer to me.
Ross Gay
Joy is as likely to make you weep as it is to make you like dance.
Ross Gay
1 Protocols
Daily Delight Essay Practice
Ross Gay- Write a short essay about something that delights you.
- Commit to doing it every day for a year.
- Draft the entries quickly (e.g., in about 30 seconds).
- Write them by hand.
- Begin and end the practice on your birthday (August 1).