Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)
Dan Harris and Bianca Harris interview Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on imposter syndrome, to define it, explore its prevalence across genders and social groups, and discuss practical tools for shifting from imposter thinking to a "humble realist" mindset.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to Imposter Syndrome and Dr. Valerie Young
Defining Imposter Syndrome and its Origins
Personal Experiences with Imposter Syndrome
Prevalence of Imposter Syndrome Across Genders
Distinguishing Imposter Syndrome from Self-Doubt
Understanding 'Humble Realists' and Dunning-Kruger Effect
Why Imposter Syndrome May Affect Women More
Impact of Organizational Culture and Social Identity
Family Messages and Upbringing as Risk Factors
Occupational and Group-Specific Risk Factors
Three Tools for Addressing Imposter Syndrome
Practicing New Thinking and Action
Imposter Syndrome in Parenting and Relationships
Debunking the 'Imposter Syndrome as Superpower' Myth
Resources from Dr. Valerie Young
5 Key Concepts
Imposter Syndrome (Imposter Phenomenon)
This is the belief that deep down, one is not as intelligent, capable, or competent as others perceive. It leads to explaining away accomplishments and a fear of being found out. The term was coined by Dr. Pauline Klans and Dr. Suzanne Imes in 1978.
Humble Realists
These are individuals who are genuinely humble but have never felt like an imposter. They are not necessarily more intelligent or capable than others, but they think differently about competence, failure, mistakes, feedback, and fear, which helps them avoid imposter thoughts.
Dunning-Kruger Effect
Named after Professors Dunning and Kruger, this effect describes a cognitive bias where people with low ability at a task overestimate their own ability, while people with high ability at a task underestimate their own ability. It characterizes those with 'irrational self-confidence syndrome'.
Reframing Competence
This involves fundamentally changing how one thinks about what it means to be competent. It shifts away from ideas like natural genius, needing to achieve everything alone, or knowing 150% before acting, and instead embraces the idea that competence includes not knowing with confidence and being able to learn.
Stereotype Threat
Developed by Claude Steele and Jason Aronson, this concept explains that the fear of confirming a negative stereotype about one's social group causes stress, which in turn negatively impacts performance. This effect is often more pronounced in individuals who are already accomplished.
11 Questions Answered
Imposter syndrome is the belief that one is not as intelligent, capable, or competent as others perceive, leading to explaining away accomplishments and a fear of being found out.
No, research and observations show that men also experience imposter syndrome, with about half of attendees at workshops being men, although it may tend to hold women back more.
Yes, self-doubt and fear are normal human experiences, whereas imposter syndrome involves a deeper belief of being a fraud despite evidence, coupled with externalizing accomplishments and fearing exposure.
Humble realists are people who are genuinely humble but have never felt like an imposter; they are not necessarily more intelligent but think differently about competence, failure, mistakes, feedback, and fear.
Women may feel more vulnerable to speak up due to social stereotypes about competence, and they may personalize constructive feedback more, letting it mean more about who they are as a person.
Cultures that fuel self-doubt, involve shaming for not knowing things, or lack positive feedback can make individuals, particularly in information-dense and rapidly changing fields like medicine, more susceptible to imposter feelings.
Family messages that emphasize perfection, provide no praise, or offer excessive praise can all contribute. Additionally, being pushed to excel due to social or cultural reasons can create pressure to be 'better to be considered equal'.
People in STEM fields, creative fields, those who work alone, students (especially doctoral students), and individuals belonging to groups with stereotypes about intelligence or competence are more susceptible.
For some people, it can go away, but the primary goal is often to provide tools so individuals can talk themselves down more quickly during normal imposter moments.
Instead of offering pep talks or dismissing their feelings, it's more helpful to listen and validate their experience. People often just want to be heard, and giving them tools to normalize and reframe their thoughts is more effective than trying to 'fix' them.
Dr. Young rejects the idea that imposter syndrome is a 'superpower,' arguing that the downsides outweigh any supposed positives, and it presents a false choice between being an 'arrogant jerk' or having imposter syndrome.
21 Actionable Insights
1. Normalize Imposter Moments
When experiencing imposter thoughts, pause and contextualize your feelings by acknowledging normal reasons (e.g., being a student, being in a new environment, being in a competitive field) rather than personalizing them.
2. Reframe Like Humble Realist
After normalizing, reframe the situation by considering how a ‘humble realist’ (someone genuinely humble but without imposter syndrome) would think, feel, or act differently in the same scenario.
3. Act on New Thoughts
Even if you don’t fully believe the new, reframed thoughts, consciously act as if you do, practicing the behaviors of a humble realist to build genuine confidence.
4. Redefine Personal Competence
Challenge and redefine what competence means to you, moving beyond faulty notions like needing ease/speed, doing everything alone, or knowing 150% before acting.
5. Cultivate Self-Trust
Develop a fundamental trust in your ability to figure things out, even if you don’t have all the answers upfront, rather than equating intelligence with effortless knowledge.
6. Practice Self-Forgiveness
Forgive yourself for minor mistakes and put perceived failures into perspective, recognizing that others are often not scrutinizing your performance as much as you believe.
7. Recognize Normal Self-Doubt
Understand that nervousness, anxiety, and self-doubt are normal human experiences, even for competent individuals, and do not equate these feelings with being an imposter.
8. Avoid Stating Unknowns
When giving presentations or speaking, avoid beginning by highlighting your lack of knowledge, as this can undermine your perceived competence and confidence.
9. Embrace Winging It
Reframe ‘winging it’ or improvising not as deceit, but as a valuable skill involving curiosity, adaptability, and going with the flow when you don’t have all the answers.
10. Contextualize Cultural Self-Doubt
If you are in an organizational culture that inherently fuels self-doubt (e.g., medicine, academia), normalize your feelings by attributing them to the culture rather than personalizing them.
11. Challenge Childhood Perfectionism
If raised with messages that only perfection is acceptable, consciously work to challenge this internal standard and accept that excellence doesn’t require flawlessness.
12. Validate Own Accomplishments
If you received little praise as a child, actively work to validate your own achievements and recognize your worth, rather than solely relying on external affirmation.
13. Manage Over-Praise Dependency
If overly praised as a child, learn to objectively discern the quality of your work and avoid becoming overly dependent on constant positive feedback from others.
14. Acknowledge Stereotype Pressure
If you belong to a group facing stereotypes about intelligence or competence, acknowledge that this societal pressure can increase your vulnerability to imposter syndrome and normalize these feelings.
15. Define Personal Success
Consciously define what success means to you, incorporating values like meaning, balance, and relationships, rather than solely adhering to traditional metrics of power, money, and status.
16. Normalize Parental Doubt
As a parent, recognize that feelings of doubt and inadequacy are normal for this challenging role, and avoid personalizing concerns about others’ judgments of your parenting.
17. Support Partner’s Imposter Feelings
When a partner expresses imposter feelings, prioritize active listening and validation (‘sit in the dark with them’) instead of offering pep talks or trying to fix their problem.
18. Avoid Co-Ruminating Thoughts
Refrain from excessively dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings about imposter syndrome with others, as this ‘co-ruminating’ can increase anxiety and depression without leading to solutions.
19. Consider Therapy for Issues
If imposter syndrome is accompanied by depression or anxiety, consider seeking therapy, as it can be a useful tool for addressing these combined challenges.
20. Reject ‘Imposter Superpower’ Notion
Dismiss the idea that imposter syndrome is a beneficial ‘superpower,’ as its negative impacts (e.g., self-doubt, pulling back) generally outweigh any perceived advantages.
21. Strive for Humble Realism
Instead of aiming to be ’non-imposter,’ set the aspirational and attainable goal of becoming a ‘humble realist’ – someone who is genuinely humble yet confident in their capabilities.
6 Key Quotes
Imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon, as is known in the world of academia and amongst clinicians, is this belief that deep down inside, we're really not as intelligent, capable, competent, talented, qualified as people seem to think that we are. And we explain away our accomplishments, and as a result, we have this fear of being found out.
Dr. Valerie Young
I figure I can pick up enough information in a short period of time to be able to bullshit my way with the best of them.
Ted Koppel (quoted by Dr. Valerie Young)
Competence isn't knowing everything. Competence is not knowing with confidence, right? Being the person who says, excuse me, I'm not following. What do you mean? I don't understand.
Dr. Valerie Young
I honestly think that deep down, I don't care how much somebody says they feel like an imposter. I think deep down, we really do know we're no imposter. I think that deep down, we know we have everything we need to achieve the majority of goals we set for ourself in life. Not easily, not quickly, not without help, not perfectly. But we really do know that we can do it.
Dr. Valerie Young
Nobody really cares. Nobody's thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves.
Dan Harris (quoted by Bianca Harris)
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, I don't know.
Mark Twain (quoted by Dr. Valerie Young)
1 Protocols
Three Tools for Addressing Imposter Syndrome
Dr. Valerie Young- Normalize: Recognize the perfectly good reasons why you might feel like a fraud. Hit a mental pause button and contextualize the feeling (e.g., 'Of course I feel stupid, I'm a student here to learn,' or 'I'm the only person who looks like me in this group'). The goal is to contextualize more and personalize less.
- Reframe: When an imposter thought arises, hit the pause button and ask how a humble realist would reframe this situation, what they would think or feel differently.
- Act: Act as if you truly believed the new, reframed thought. Even if you don't believe it yet, act like somebody who did believe it.