Duct Tape for Your Inner Critic (Gently, of Course) | Dawn Mauricio
Dan Harris and meditation teacher Dawn Mauricio discuss managing the inner narrator and common meditation challenges. They offer practical guidance for cultivating gentleness and curiosity in mindfulness practice, celebrating awareness, and finding supportive communities.
Deep Dive Analysis
9 Topic Outline
Introduction: The Voice in Your Head and Meditation
Guided Meditation: Settling the Mind and Noticing
Finding and Building Meditation Community (Sangha)
Working with the Inner Narrator During Meditation
Transforming Self-Judgment into Celebration of Awareness
Dealing with Distracting Thoughts in Open-Eye Meditation
Cultivating Compassion for Difficult People and Actions
Key Takeaways from a Meditation Retreat: 'What is Being Known?'
Alternative Meditation Anchors Beyond the Breath
5 Key Concepts
Mental Noting
Mental noting is the skillful use of thinking to connect to direct experience, such as silently saying 'in' or 'out' for breath, or 'thinking' when distracted. It serves mindfulness by labeling sensory or mental experiences, and its 'volume' or 'tone' can be adjusted to be less judgmental or shouty.
Celebrating Awareness
Instead of judging the mind for wandering during meditation, celebrate the moment mindfulness returns. This shift in perspective makes practice more enjoyable and incentivizes waking up from mental stories, as being awake in vivid reality feels better than being lost in thought.
Mindfulness of Seeing
This practice involves making a mental note of 'seeing, seeing' when moving through the world to cut through immediate judgments and stories the mind creates about what it perceives. It helps to be present with the visual experience rather than being pulled into reactions or narratives.
What is Being Known?
A meditation instruction to consistently ask oneself 'What is being known?' This question brings one into the present moment, highlights that awareness requires no effort, and points to the concept of 'not-self' (anatta) by emphasizing that there is no separate 'doer' of the knowing, only a mysterious process.
Anatta (Not-Self)
A Buddhist concept referring to the idea that there isn't a separate, permanent 'self' that needs to be built up and defended. The instruction 'What is being known?' helps attune one to this, showing that experience is just a mysterious process happening without a core 'homunculus' pulling the strings.
6 Questions Answered
You can look up the Buddhist Insight Network for peer-led or teacher-led communities, research organizations affiliated with teachers you know, or create your own personal community to practice with.
Don't demonize the narrator, as naming what's happening is a form of meditation called mental noting. Gradually try to lower the 'volume' of the narration so that the direct experience takes up more space, adapting the intensity as needed.
Instead of viewing mind-wandering as a failure, celebrate the moment mindfulness returns by saying 'Great job, welcome back.' This positive reinforcement makes practice more enjoyable and incentivizes waking up to the present moment, which feels better than being lost in mental stories.
It's normal because open eyes can take up a significant portion of attention, pulling you into the world around you. One technique is to practice naming what you see, acknowledging 'seeing' and 'thinking' without getting lost in stories, or to briefly look around the room before and after practice to train mindfulness of sight.
Remember that the 'enemy' is greed, hatred, and delusion, not the person themselves. While anger makes sense, it's not useful for effective response. Consider viewing cruel actions as behaviors of an 'unhealthy person' rather than 'evil,' which allows for resistance without demonizing and promotes clearer, more skillful action.
The breath is a tool, but not the only one. If the breath is challenging due to trauma, illness, or shyness, use other anchors like sensations, sounds, or loving-kindness phrases instead. It's not about taking deep breaths, but being mindful of the breath as it naturally is, or choosing a different anchor if that's not supportive.
22 Actionable Insights
1. Celebrate Mindfulness’s Return
When your mind wanders during meditation, celebrate the moment mindfulness returns instead of judging yourself. This shift in tone makes practice more enjoyable, active, and inspiring.
2. Ask “What Is Being Known?”
Consistently ask yourself “What is being known?” throughout your day, even outside formal meditation. This practice brings you into the present moment, helps you step out of mental narratives, and attunes you to the non-self nature of experience.
3. View Cruelty as Unhealthy
When encountering cruel behavior, consider it as “unhealthy” rather than “evil” to reduce your own judgment. This allows you to resist harmful actions without getting mired in hatred or demonizing the person.
4. Cultivate Kindness for Wandering Mind
Invite kindness and gentleness to be your companion during meditation, accepting that your mind will travel. When you notice it has wandered, gently return your attention to your chosen anchor without judgment.
5. Choose Accessible Meditation Anchor
Select a meditation anchor that is easy and accessible for you, such as sensations, sound, or thoughts. This provides a consistent point of focus for your attention, whether the experience is pleasant or unpleasant.
6. Adapt Mental Noting Volume
If you use mental noting, gradually lower its “volume” so that the direct experience takes precedence over the narration. Adjust the volume based on your daily needs, as it’s a flexible tool, not a fixed goal.
7. Pay Attention to Note Tone
Be mindful of the tone of your mental notes, especially if they are shouty or judgmental. Noticing and tweaking the tone can improve the quality of your mindfulness practice.
8. Seek Meditation Community
Actively seek out and engage with a meditation community (sangha) for support and consistency in your practice. You can find communities through websites like the Buddhist Insight Network, by researching affiliated teachers, or by creating your own.
9. Mindful Transition Out of Meditation
Gradually transition out of meditation by tuning into surrounding sounds and movements, then lifting your gaze to observe light and shapes in the room. This helps you re-engage with the external environment mindfully.
10. Be Present for Relief and Ease
After moving due to discomfort during meditation, make a conscious effort to be present for the subsequent relief and ease. This practice helps you appreciate and make more room for ease in both your practice and daily life.
11. Practice Naming in Open-Eye Meditation
During open-eye meditation (e.g., walking), practice mental noting by naming what you see and think. Acknowledge and enjoy the present experience before continuing, which helps manage visual distractions.
12. Mindful Observation Before/After Practice
Before and after formal meditation, take a moment to mindfully observe your surroundings by naming colors or objects. This prepares your body for practice and integrates mindfulness of seeing into daily life.
13. Use Alternative Breath Anchors
If focusing on the breath causes anxiety or difficulty, use alternative meditation anchors like sight, body sensations, or loving-kindness phrases. The breath is a tool, but not the only one, and other techniques provide similar benefits.
14. Focus on Natural Breath
If meditating on the breath, focus on being mindful of your natural breath as it is, rather than trying to take deep breaths. This avoids forcing the breath, which can cause discomfort.
15. Tune into Physical Support & Relax
Begin meditation by tuning into how your body is physically supported by the floor or seat, then consciously relax into that holding, releasing any bracing in your body and face.
16. Observe Without Changing
Simply notice whatever arises in your awareness during meditation—sounds, energy, thoughts—without trying to change or fight it.
17. Choose Comfortable Meditation Posture
Set up for meditation in a way that is comfortable for you, whether seated, lying down, looking out a window, or walking slowly. This flexibility supports your ability to settle into practice.
18. Close or Lower Eyes for Focus
If able, close your eyes or turn them downward during meditation to help with focus, always ensuring safety if in motion (e.g., driving).
19. Take Deep Breaths to Settle
To help settle at the beginning of meditation, take a few full, deep breaths and exhale deeply, then return to breathing naturally.
20. Greed, Hatred, Delusion are the Enemy
When faced with challenging people or situations, remember that greed, hatred, and delusion are the true enemies, not the individual. This perspective helps cultivate compassion and reduces personal entanglement in negative emotions.
21. Join Live Meditation Sessions
Join weekly live meditation and Q&A sessions (e.g., Tuesdays at 4 Eastern) to support your practice, learn from teachers, and engage with a community.
22. Sign Up for Custom Meditations
Sign up at danharris.com to receive invitations to live sessions and access custom guided meditations that accompany podcast episodes.
6 Key Quotes
I wanted to call this book, The Voice in My Head is an Asshole. To me, that just perfectly encapsulates the human condition, at least for most of us.
Dan Harris
Instead of judging the mind for wandering, when you do notice, can you celebrate awareness or your mindfulness returning? So treating it like a moment of celebration instead of an opportunity to judge.
Dawn Mauricio
No one person is ever our enemy, only greed, hatred, and delusion, and the human mind is our enemy.
Dawn Mauricio
Anger makes sense, but it's not useful.
Dan Harris
You can resist without demonizing.
Dan Harris
It's not just liberating at the top of the mountain when you get enlightened. It's liberating right now for all of us schmoes.
Dan Harris