Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, 'Potential of Tsewa Is in Everyone'
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, a reincarnated Tibetan lama and author of "Training in Tenderness," discusses cultivating 'Tsewa' (tenderness or radical openness of heart) as a source of happiness. He shares how to develop this through self-reflection and specific meditation practices, emphasizing its practical benefits for all.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Kindness and Guest
Listener Feedback and Meditation Experiences
Secular Practitioners in Buddhist Communities
Rinpoche's Early Life and Mother's Retreat
Rinpoche's Path to Serious Meditation
Tibetan Concept of Reincarnation
Primordial Consciousness Explained
The Role of Tulkus in Tibetan Culture
Rinpoche's Journey to the United States
Defining Tsewa: Radical Openness of Heart
Universal Potential for Tsewa and Its Conditions
Avoiding 'Idiot Compassion'
Cultivating Tenderness Through Self-Inquiry
Formal Practice for Developing Tsewa
Addressing Skepticism About Compassion's Efficacy
Everyday Challenges to Practicing Tsewa
7 Key Concepts
Rinpoche
A title generally given to respected and high-level teachers in the Tibetan tradition, often honorific for Tulkus, meaning 'precious one'.
Tulku
A title for a reincarnated Tibetan lama, an individual recognized as a reincarnation of a previous great lama from generations past.
Buddhism (Stephen Batchelor's view)
Not something to believe in, but something to do; a set of practices to test out for oneself, where one takes what works and leaves what doesn't.
Reincarnation (Tibetan tradition)
The belief that consciousness is a stream of momentarily rising and dissolving moments that continues after the body's destruction into an intermediate state, or bardo, before taking a new birth.
Primordial Consciousness
A type of consciousness that does not rise and fall, is not necessarily aware of an object, is omniscient and present, and serves as the unchanging base from which all other temporary, object-aware consciousnesses arise.
Tsewa (Tenderness)
A radical openness of heart, a warm, tender feeling that arises from acknowledging other living beings' shared hopes for happiness and joy, and their lack of conditions for happiness, extending beyond oneself.
Idiot Compassion
A concept where one's expression of kindness or Tsewa is unlimited and goes out of one's boundaries to jeopardize oneself, lacking intelligence and critical thinking.
8 Questions Answered
It's very common to have all sorts of interesting physical sensations (negative or positive) and psychological/emotional experiences, especially with significant meditation dosage, as the mind is observed and trained.
Yes, it is encouraged to experiment. Buddhism, as described by Stephen Batchelor, is 'something to do,' not just to believe in, and the Buddha himself encouraged testing claims. While some discomfort with rituals may arise, it's an opportunity for mindfulness.
The mind is seen as a stream of momentary consciousness that continues after the body's destruction into an intermediate state (bardo) for up to 49 days, similar to a dream state, before taking a new birth. This continuity is likened to atoms not evaporating but continuing.
The Tulku system is a way to entrust responsibilities to individuals recognized as reincarnated lamas, helping to preserve Tibetan culture, religion, dharma, language, and way of life, especially after the loss of their country.
Yes, the potential for Tsewa is in everyone. Even if individuals lack Tsewa for others, they typically have tenderness and care for themselves. With wisdom and understanding of its value, this self-tenderness can be guided to extend to others.
No, developing Tsewa must be accompanied by intelligence and critical thinking. It's not about being obliged to be kind to the point of jeopardizing oneself, but rather knowing one's limits and understanding what truly works and what doesn't.
When self-inquiry is taken to its logical extent, one realizes that the ultimate desire behind worldly aspirations is positive mental states and happiness.
Yes, while conditions like upbringing can shape initial capacities, interest, intention, and training can significantly develop one's ability to be open, tender, and willing to stretch oneself for others, transforming relationships with the world.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Marry Kindness with Intelligence
When developing kindness or tenderness (Tsewa), ensure it is accompanied by intelligence and critical thinking to understand what works and what doesn’t, preventing ‘idiot compassion’ and protecting yourself from being pushed around.
2. Practice Inward Self-Reflection
To develop kindness, turn your mind inward to observe your state, acknowledge your aspirations, hopes, drives, fears, and vulnerabilities, as this self-knowledge is the most important first step to connect with others.
3. Recognize Shared Internal Identity
After understanding your own fears and vulnerabilities, recognize that everyone else shares these same internal experiences, seeing past superficial differences to an essential identicality as living beings, which makes it easier to develop tenderness and openness towards them.
4. Daily 5-10 Minute Kindness Practice
Dedicate 5-10 minutes daily to a formal meditation practice, or simply quiet reflection, by repeating phrases such as ‘may all sentient beings be happy and have the cause and conditions of happiness’ to build the muscle of tenderness and sustain an open state of mind.
5. Aspirations for Others’ Happiness
To sustain a state of openness and tenderness (Tsewa), make aspirations or ‘prayers’ for the happiness, joy, and favorable conditions of all living beings, consciously repeating phrases like ‘may all sentient beings be happy and have the cause and conditions of happiness’.
6. Examine Motivations, Avoid Automatic Mode
Instead of operating in an automatic mode of constant outward achievement, regularly turn your mind inward to examine what you are trying to achieve, why, the emotions and reasons behind it, and what you are truly feeling, to get in touch with your internal life.
7. Engage in Fundamental Self-Inquiry
In quiet moments, such as in a park, before sleep, or when reflecting, genuinely ask yourself fundamental questions like ‘What do I want?’, ‘Who am I?’, ‘Where am I going?’, ‘Why do I aspire to that?’, and ‘Why am I fixated on this?’ to discover your true internal state without seeking immediate smart answers.
8. Open Heart Reduces Worldly Desperation
By opening your heart, feeling tenderness (Tsewa), and making aspirations for humanity, you can achieve positive mental states that reduce desperation for worldly achievements, even while acknowledging their potential value.
9. Regain Balance with Self-Correction
When you lose balance and act out of self-protection or aggression, practice self-correction through regrets, remorse, feeling apologetic, and confessing, as these actions are crucial for increasing tenderness (Tsewa) and preventing its loss.
10. Train Mind for Open, Tender Presence
Even if you start with tendencies like anger or short-temper, you can slowly train your mind to develop openness, tenderness, and a non-threatening presence, being available and willing to stretch yourself to help others, which transforms your relationships and internal state.
11. Cultivate Interest in Kindness
To develop kindness (Tsewa), first cultivate a genuine interest and intention to want it, recognizing that it is both a source and a state of happiness, rather than approaching it as a forced obligation.
12. Appreciate Mutual Warmth and Openness
Understand that just as you appreciate warmth, openness, and non-threatening connection from others, they appreciate it from you; use this mutual appreciation as a basis to develop these qualities within yourself.
13. Turn Emptiness into Practice
When experiencing feelings of emptiness, void, or being lost after pursuing worldly desires, use these insights as a catalyst to seriously pursue or deepen meditation practice, as it can lead to a sense of peace and grace.
14. Be Mindful of Passing Experiences
When meditating, practice mindfulness by noting both pleasant and unpleasant experiences without getting overly attached or aversive to them, recognizing that all experiences are passing and will arise and pass away.
15. Consult Experienced Meditation Teachers
If you experience unusual or intense sensations during meditation (e.g., euphoric feelings, physical lightness), consult a genuinely experienced meditation teacher for guidance, as they are qualified to explain and help navigate these experiences.
16. Explore Buddhist Communities (Secularly)
As a secular meditator, wholeheartedly experiment with visiting local Buddhist communities or temples, as you may find valuable practices and connections without needing to embrace religious beliefs, even if some aspects feel initially uncomfortable.
5 Key Quotes
Buddhism is not something to believe in. It's something to do.
Stephen Batchelor (quoted by Dan Harris)
There's no reasons for continuation of the moment after the last moment of this life ends and the next one to arise.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
The black hole of self-obsession.
Dan Harris
Idiot compassion, yeah. It could, you know, turn into idiot compassion, you know, if one doesn't use one's sort of critical intelligence alone with the sort of intelligence of the emotions.
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
Your capacity to the, capacity of Tsewa put to the test is an everyday challenge, right?
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
1 Protocols
Developing Tsewa (Tenderness) through Self-Inquiry and Aspiration
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche- Cultivate an interest and intention to want to have Tsewa.
- Turn your mind inwardly to observe your own state of mind, acknowledging your aspirations, hopes, drives, fears, anxieties, and vulnerabilities.
- Realize that everyone else is internally identical to you in these experiences, despite outward differences, seeing the facade differences.
- Understand that continuously holding onto the self (the 'black hole of self-obsession') is painful and creates anxiety.
- Increase Tsewa for all living beings, realizing that including others makes your happiness grow.
- Make aspirations (prayers) on behalf of others for their happiness, joy, and the conditions of happiness, repeating phrases like 'May all sentient beings be happy and have the cause and conditions of happiness' for 5-10 minutes.