Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan's Close Friend, Zev Borow)
Dan Harris discusses meditation retreats with Spring Washam, a founding teacher at East Bay Meditation Center, and friend Zev Barrow. They explore various retreat types, the challenges of silent meditation, and the profound, often difficult, insights gained from these transformative experiences.
Deep Dive Analysis
18 Topic Outline
Introduction to Meditation Retreats
Assessing Your Need for a Retreat
Understanding Renunciation in Retreats
Overview of Different Retreat Types
Navigating Noble Silence and Retreat Schedules
The Challenge of Sustained Mindfulness
Dan's Breakthrough Moment on Retreat
Specific Retreat Rules and Practices
Benefits of Mindful Eating
First-Time Retreat Experience: Zev Borow
The Profound Insight of Unkindness
Connecting with the Heart on Retreat
The Importance of Dharma Talks
Long-Term Impact of Retreats on Suffering
Meditation as a Journey, Not a Quick Fix
The Buddhist Concept of Faith in Practice
The Beauty of Kindness as a Life Principle
Practical Steps to Access a Retreat
5 Key Concepts
Renunciation (in retreat context)
In a retreat setting, renunciation means giving up external distractions like technology, communication, and endless talking. This practice helps individuals focus on their internal experience, confront their habits, and commit to practices of awareness and mindfulness without external engagement.
Noble Silence
Noble silence is a core practice on meditation retreats where participants refrain from talking, eye contact, and other forms of external communication. Its purpose is to calm external layers of distraction, help the mind find stillness, and allow individuals to focus inward without social engagement or identity creation.
Continuity of Mindfulness
This concept encourages practitioners to maintain awareness and intentionality through every activity of the day, not just during formal seated or walking meditation periods. The goal is to integrate mindfulness into all daily tasks, such as washing dishes or making a bed, to sustain a continuous state of presence.
Buddhist Faith (Saddha)
In the Buddhist tradition, faith is understood not as blind belief, but as a realistic and grounded sense of confidence that the meditation practice works and is valuable. It's a conviction based on experience that the path, though potentially difficult, yields beneficial results and is worth the effort.
Interpersonal vs. Intrapersonal Violence
This insight highlights that acts of unkindness directed towards others ultimately cause internal pain and suffering within oneself. It suggests that external negative actions create an internal 'reservoir of sadness,' linking one's behavior towards the world directly to one's own emotional state.
11 Questions Answered
No, you can still be a great meditator with a daily 20-30 minute practice. Retreats are for those seeking a deeper dive, more understanding, or to go 'underneath the rug' of their mind.
Renunciation on retreat involves giving up technology, communication, and endless talking to confront one's habits and be present with the mind. It's about containing external distractions to go deep into practice.
Common types include Insight Meditation retreats (focus on mindfulness, sitting/walking meditation, noble silence, Dharma talks), and Goenka retreats (more rigorous, primarily sitting, often 10 days long).
Noble silence is a practice of refraining from external communication, including talking and intense eye contact, to help calm external distractions and allow the mind to find stillness for deeper practice. It doesn't mean the mind itself becomes silent.
Schedules are rigorous, often starting with meditation around 6 AM, followed by breakfast, chores, and blocks of alternating sitting and walking meditation until lunch. After a break, more sit/walk blocks lead to dinner (which some skip), followed by more meditation, a Dharma talk, and then bedtime.
Skipping dinner is optional and often follows a monastic precept of not eating after the noon meal. It can help maintain energy for evening meditation and avoid the heaviness that comes with three large meals, supporting wakefulness during practice.
Mindful eating on retreat encourages paying close attention to the taste, texture, and process of eating, which can help reduce mindless overeating and cultivate a more present relationship with food that can be carried into daily life.
For many, the hardest part is the lack of external input and the sustained, intense meditation, which can lead to 'weaponized boredom,' panic, sadness, and confronting one's own self-generated thoughts and internal struggles.
Dharma talks provide wisdom, encouragement, and intellectual unpacking of the experiential aspects of meditation. They help normalize suffering, offer guidance on how to work with discomfort, and remind practitioners of deeper wisdom, helping them sustain their practice through challenging moments.
No, meditation retreats alone do not eliminate all suffering. While they provide profound insights and can significantly reduce suffering over time, life remains complex, and it's an ongoing journey of integration and awareness, not a quick fix or a one-time liberation.
It requires planning early, being diligent, and applying well in advance, as many popular centers have waitlists or lottery systems. A 'way will be made' for those who are determined, but it's not always easy to secure a spot.
27 Actionable Insights
1. Stop Resisting Present Experience
Recognize that much suffering comes from resistance to what is happening; when you stop resisting, everything opens up.
2. Approach Meditation Gently, Not Striving
Be gentle and natural in your meditation practice, relaxing your mind and avoiding the striving, goal-oriented mindset typically applied to work projects, as this leads to suffering.
3. Name & Open to Emotions
When difficult emotions like anxiety, stress, fear, or overwhelm arise, name them, open to them, and simply be aware of them, as this is mindfulness and reduces suffering.
4. Practice Kindness to Self & Others
Recognize that unkindness towards others ultimately causes self-inflicted pain and sadness, motivating a shift towards kinder behavior.
5. Prioritize Kindness as Core Principle
Consider making kindness the sole priority of your existence, aiming for every action to be guided by this principle, as it is a simple yet profound idea.
6. Surrender to Resistance & Boredom
When encountering panic-level boredom and resistance during meditation, practice surrendering to these feelings rather than fighting them, as this allows for deeper insights.
7. Listen to Your Heart, Not Head
Engage in practices like retreat meditation to shift focus from the loud, dominant mind to hearing and understanding from the heart.
8. Make Peace with Mind’s Tendencies
Recognize that mindfulness acts as a mirror, showing what is truly arising; make peace with your mind’s natural tendencies like striving, clinging, and wanting.
9. Practice Continuous Mindfulness
Strive to be mindful, deliberate, aware, awake, and intentional through every activity of the day, not just during formal meditation periods.
10. Meditate Daily to Maintain Insights
Engage in daily meditation, even for 30 minutes, to re-access and maintain the profound insights and feelings experienced during a retreat.
11. Consistency is Key in Practice
Understand that simply ‘doing’ the practice consistently, even incrementally, is what makes you ‘good at it’ and allows you to feel its effects.
12. Cultivate “Buddhist Faith”
Develop a grounded confidence, or ‘Buddhist faith,’ that the practice works and is worth the effort, even if it’s difficult, leading to a willingness to continue despite challenges.
13. Embrace Spiritual Labor with Compassion
Understand that liberation and spiritual growth are not quick fixes but require consistent ‘spiritual labor’ and compassionate work with internal and external energies.
14. Consider Retreat for Deeper Dive
If seeking a deeper understanding, more depth, or to ‘go underneath the rug’ in your meditation practice, consider attending a meditation retreat.
15. Renounce Technology on Retreat
To fully commit to the practice on a meditation retreat, give up technology like cell phones and computers.
16. Commit to Awareness Practices
On retreat, commit to practices of awareness and mindfulness to confront and contain personal habits.
17. Avoid Perfection in Mindfulness
When practicing mindfulness, especially on retreat, avoid aiming for perfection or being mindful every second, as this can lead to clinging, grasping, and feelings of failure.
18. Practice Mindful Eating
Pay close attention to the taste, chewing, and sensations of food while eating to cultivate mindfulness that can be carried into daily life and prevent mindless overeating.
19. Seek Wisdom for Encouragement
Listen to Dharma talks and wisdom teachings, especially when experiencing suffering, discomfort, or strong emotions, as they provide nourishment and encouragement to continue the practice.
20. Integrate Daily Wisdom & Practice
Consistently engage with wisdom teachings and meditation practice daily, as this powerfully influences and deepens your spiritual path.
21. Go on Retreat for Yourself
Only attend a meditation retreat if you genuinely want to go for your own reasons, not because someone else told you to, to avoid resentment and maximize personal benefit.
22. Plan Early for Retreats
To secure a spot in a meditation retreat, plan early, diligently research centers, and be persistent in applying, as many have waitlists.
23. Attend Mindfulness Retreats in Silence
For a beautiful entry point into retreats, attend mindfulness-based Insight Meditation retreats, which are typically held in noble silence, limiting communication to essential interactions and teacher meetings.
24. Utilize Guided Meditations for Issues
Use the app’s library of guided meditations to address specific challenges like stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and dealing with annoying people.
25. Join Live Zoom Meditations
Engage with the community by participating in weekly live Zoom sessions where you can meditate and ask questions to teachers and Dan Harris.
26. Try 14-Day App Trial
Sign up for a 14-day free trial of the ‘10% with Dan Harris’ app to determine if it is suitable for your meditation practice.
27. Attend VIP Meditation & Q&A
If attending the live podcast recording, come early for a VIP-guided meditation and Q&A session with Dan Harris.
10 Key Quotes
The Winston Churchill definition of war is a long periods of boredom punctuated by brief moments of terror and a retreat is long periods of excruciating, excruciatingness punctuated by brief moments of like profundity.
Zev Borow
My sense about the retreat is like, however way you're trying to outfox it or outnavigate it, it's going to dismantle your countermeasures eventually.
Zev Borow
When you are unkind, it's one thing you think I regret being unkind to somebody else. I am sorry I did that. But what you're doing ultimately, you're causing yourself pain and you carry this pain. And I was like, that's the sadness I feel.
Zev Borow
I think what ends up happening is maybe for me, for like the first time is like, you hear your heart, not your head.
Zev Borow
What if the only priority to your existence was kindness, like really think about that. Like if everything you did, that was the goal, like think about that on a molecular level is, is a crazy, simple, beautiful idea.
Zev Borow
You could still be a great meditator and do, you know, 20 minutes or 30-minute practice every day. But if you're feeling like you want to go underneath the rug, take a deeper dive, retreat is the way to go.
Spring Washam
It's not like you're being silenced. And that's also a lot of people used to be like, you won't silence me. You know, I used to have to explain, it's never silent in your mind. There's more noise there than anywhere.
Spring Washam
The hardest part is meditating all day long.
Dan Harris
Liberation is like we're going against a lot of powerful energies internally and externally. And we have to really work with them compassionately.
Spring Washam
It's like this fucked up video game where if you want to move forward, you can't move forward. You have to be in this kind of neutral state.
Dan Harris