Feel Your Feelings, Drop the Story | Sebene Selassie

Apr 24, 2026 Episode Page ↗
Overview

Meditation teacher Sebene Selassie joins Dan Harris to explore common challenges with breath meditation, techniques for managing shame and rumination, and the RAIN technique. They also delve into the ancient elements practice for embodiment and share a lively digression on colonoscopy prep.

At a Glance
12 Insights
27m 17s Duration

Deep Dive Analysis

1. Ease Deepens Awakening

Recognize that true awakening and success in practice, and life, comes from cultivating ease and relaxation, not from tension or striving.

2. Embodiment for Rumination

To break cycles of rumination and constant storytelling, bring your attention back to the body and its present sensations, allowing yourself to feel emotions without getting lost in their narratives.

3. Practice Elements for Embodiment

Engage in the elements practice by feeling the solidity of earth, fluidity of water, temperature of fire, and the ephemeral nature of air within and around you to foster grounding and interconnection.

4. Integrate Elements Daily

Apply the elements practice throughout your day by mentally noting the qualities of earth (solidity), water (fluidity), fire (temperature), and air (breath/movement) in your surroundings and body.

5. Use RAIN for Emotions

Utilize the RAIN technique (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) to skillfully process strong emotions, both during meditation and in daily life.

6. Mindful Discomfort Coping

When facing discomfort or pain, allow yourself to feel it fully, including crying, and actively seek ways to bring ease to your body through movement, rocking, or comfort measures, rather than pushing the experience away.

7. Address Shame as Mind State

If shame appears as looped thinking, return to your chosen meditation object; if it’s a strong emotion, use techniques like RAIN to allow it to dissipate naturally within the body.

8. Understand Shame vs. Guilt

Distinguish shame (‘I am wrong’) from guilt (‘I did something wrong’), recognizing that shame is generally not a useful emotion.

9. Alternate Meditation Focus Points

If focusing on your breath during meditation feels forced or unnatural, shift your attention to other body sensations like your hands, feet, or even your heartbeat. Lying down can also make breath meditation easier by promoting general relaxation.

10. Practice Nasal Breathing

Prioritize breathing through your nose in a relaxed way, as it’s easier to regulate and produces nitric oxide in the nasal passages, which is linked to a relaxation response in the nervous system.

11. Open Chest for Breath

When meditating, ensure your chest is open and not collapsed, allowing your breath to move freely without needing to sit ramrod straight.

12. Practice Non-Identification

Experiment with linguistic shifts like ’there is shame’ instead of ‘I am feeling shame,’ or ‘shame is being known’ to create distance and a different relationship with strong emotions.