How Can I Meditate (Or Do Anything Else) When I'm in Pain? | Sebene Selassie
Seb A. Selassie, a cancer survivor and meditation teacher, discusses how to meditate with physical and psychological pain. She shares her evolved approach, emphasizing self-awareness, practical interventions like movement or baths, and understanding pain's unique and universal nature.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Meditating with Physical and Psychological Pain
Seb Selassie's Personal Journey with Pain
Classical Mindfulness vs. Tending to Pain
Mental Amplification of Physical Pain
Cultural and Spiritual Judgments of Pain
Evolving Relationship with Pain and Self-Care
Subjectivity of Pain and Its Brain Processing
Over-Identification with Pain and Universal Suffering
The Wave and the Ocean Metaphor for Suffering
How to Discern What Your Body Needs Now
Benefits of Sticking with One Meditation Practice
Intuitive and Improvisational Practice Approaches
A Simple Practice for Body Awareness
5 Key Concepts
Mental Amplification of Pain
This refers to how thoughts about pain can project beyond the actual physical sensation, increasing or intensifying the experience of pain. By focusing on the direct sensation (vibration, tingling, stabbing) rather than the narrative around it, one can perceive pain as a changing, impermanent physical phenomenon.
Cultural Context of Pain
Societal ideas often influence how we perceive and judge pain. In some spiritual contexts, pain might be seen as a sign of doing something 'wrong,' while wellness culture can equate physical and mental health with worthiness, leading to judgment of those in pain.
Pain as a Deep Teacher
All forms of pain, especially physical pain, can serve as profound teachers. It often leads to mental and emotional suffering, but by engaging with it mindfully, one can learn about identification, control, and the universal nature of suffering.
Identification with Pain
This concept describes how individuals can either over-identify with their pain (e.g., 'my pain' leading to collapse) or over-identify with their ability to withstand it (e.g., 'I can stand it' as a flex). Both extremes represent an over-attachment to the experience rather than observing it as a transient human condition.
Wave and Ocean Metaphor
This metaphor suggests that suffering arises when one feels separate from the larger interconnectedness of life, like a wave believing it's distinct from the ocean. Recognizing that individual suffering is part of a universal experience can reduce feelings of isolation and panic.
5 Questions Answered
While classical mindfulness suggests being with the experience and detaching from the story, it's also crucial to tend to what the body actually needs, which might include medication, movement, or a bath, rather than rigidly sticking to meditation.
Our culture often judges pain, sometimes linking it to a lack of worthiness or spiritual failure. This adds a layer of mental suffering on top of physical pain, making it harder to simply be with the sensation itself.
No, physical pain and mental/emotional pain are processed in the same part of the brain, implying a similar quality to how they are experienced and can feel overwhelming.
To discern what your body needs, come to a state of stillness (not necessarily rigid), drop the question into your awareness, and bring attention away from your head and into your body (belly, chest, feet) to listen for cues beyond just thoughts.
For beginners or those in a relatively stable state, sticking with one practice for a period (weeks, months, or even a year) can help you learn your own systems and observe patterns. If you're more advanced or going through a challenging period, an 'improvisational' approach, feeling into what's needed, can be beneficial.
13 Actionable Insights
1. Distinguish Pain from Story
Recognize the difference between the raw physical sensation of pain (e.g., vibration, tingling, stabbing) and the mental stories or projections about it (e.g., “I’m going to die,” “this is my fault”), as thoughts can amplify suffering.
2. Prioritize Body’s Needs
Always get in touch with what your body truly needs in the moment, whether that’s an ice pack, medication, a walk, a bath, or a specific meditation practice, rather than rigidly adhering to a formal practice.
3. Practice Pain Sensation Awareness
When pain is bearable, practice being with the actual felt sense experience of the pain, observing it as a changing, impermanent physical thing to transform your relationship to it.
4. Release Pain Control
Let go of the need to control or prevent pain, and instead focus on taking care of your body and living with what is occurring in each moment, understanding that pain is a deep teacher.
5. Stick to One Practice (Beginners)
If you are new to meditation or not in a destabilizing place, stick with one specific practice (e.g., breath meditation) for a sustained period (weeks to a year) to learn your own system and understand patterns of mind and body.
6. Intuitive Practice Selection (Experienced)
If you are more experienced or going through a difficult period, come to stillness, drop the question “What do I feel like today?” into your body, and listen to somatic cues from your belly, chest, and feet to intuitively choose the most suitable practice.
7. “Why Not Me?” Reflection
When experiencing personal pain or suffering, ask yourself “Why not me?” not as a form of punishment, but to understand that pain is a universal human experience and part of being alive, fostering a sense of shared humanity.
8. “You’re Not The Wave” Mantra
During moments of panic or suffering, use the mantra “you’re not the wave, you’re the ocean” to acknowledge that your experience is not unique, connect with universal suffering, and potentially reduce anxiety.
9. Simple Inhale/Exhale Scan
If feeling overwhelmed by practice options or disconnected from your body’s needs, sit down, follow one inhale and one exhale, then observe what’s happening in your body, repeating this process to build the muscle of listening.
10. Use Movement for Pain
Allow yourself to use movement as an intervention for pain, even if it means stepping away from a formal sitting meditation practice, as it can be a needed intervention.
11. Incorporate Water for Pain
Utilize water, such as taking baths, as a helpful element for pain relief and even as a setting for meditation, as it can be very soothing.
12. Calibrate Pain Language
When speaking with doctors, consider describing day-to-day pain as “discomfort” and reserving “acute pain” for very specific, severe experiences, to ensure accurate communication of your true pain level.
13. Cultivate General Awareness
Practice bringing awareness to your mind, body, and emotions to untangle the unique nature of your personal experience of suffering.
4 Key Quotes
There's a big difference between my foot hurts. I'm feeling how my foot hurts. Stabbing, pulsing. There's a big difference between that and my foot hurts. It's probably infected. I'm going to die. I'm too young to die. And now we're at a panic attack.
DJ Kashmir
This pain is not mine alone. And this suffering is so universal. It's so human.
Seb Selassie
You're not the wave, you're the ocean.
Dan Harris
The simpler, often the better.
Seb Selassie
2 Protocols
Discerning What Your Body Needs
Seb Selassie- Come to some sort of stillness (standing, swaying, not rigid).
- Drop the question 'What do I feel like today?' or 'What is needed right now?' into your awareness and listen.
- Bring your awareness away from your head and into your body (feel the belly, feel the chest, feel the feet on the floor).
- Listen to other cues besides your thoughts.
- Sense into what you feel like today to understand what practice or intervention might be most supportive.
Simple Practice for Body Awareness
Dan Harris (attributing a teacher)- Sit down.
- Follow one inhale.
- Follow one exhale.
- See what's happening in your body.
- Rinse and repeat for however many minutes you have.