How Mindfulness Can Fix Pretty Much Anything—And How To Be Consistent Without Self-Criticism | Alexis Santos
Meditation teacher Alexis Santos discusses maintaining a consistent mindfulness practice. He offers practical tips for integrating awareness into daily life, emphasizing a gentle, natural approach over striving, especially during challenging times.
Deep Dive Analysis
11 Topic Outline
Addressing Listener Guilt About Inconsistent Meditation
Introduction to Alexis Santos and Sayadaw U Tejaniya's Approach
Understanding Awareness: Effortless Knowing vs. Remembering
Overcoming Discouragement When Noticing Unpleasantness
The Impact of Constant External Contact on the Mind
Alexis Santos's Personal Journey and Learning from Coasting
Integrating Formal and Informal Awareness Practices
Applying Mindfulness to Political and Social Tumult
Navigating Personal Loss: A Long-Term Relationship Breakup
The Universality of Suffering and Softening into Experience
Mind's Ability to Change: Overcoming Public Speaking Fear
5 Key Concepts
Awareness / Mindfulness
Awareness, or mindfulness, is knowing what's happening as it's happening, like an inward listening or direct experiencing of the present moment. It's an effortless quality that is always available, but the challenge lies in remembering to access it consistently.
Moment of Awareness
A single moment of awareness is not difficult and doesn't require effort; it's the act of remembering to be aware that is challenging. Each moment of awareness, no matter how brief, builds momentum and helps establish a habit of presence, even if it feels insignificant.
010 Method
This method, described by Sayadaw U Tejaniya, helps track one's mental state: '0' represents a balanced state, while '1' signifies sensing some suffering or imbalance. By noticing the '1' and bringing awareness to it, one can employ practices to return the mind and heart to a balanced '0'.
Swing Analogy for Awareness
Awareness is like pushing a child on a swing: you give a light push (remember to notice) and then relax, allowing the swing (awareness) to continue on its own for a while. It's not about running with the swing or holding onto awareness with effort, but rather lightly tapping it to maintain momentum.
Wisdom View
The wisdom view involves understanding that it doesn't matter what the experience is (whether pleasant or unpleasant), but rather that one is knowing it with understanding. This perspective helps shift focus from controlling outcomes to learning about how one relates to experiences, recognizing them as natural processes.
8 Questions Answered
Consistency comes from developing awareness as a natural, sustainable habit, not through militaristic striving. This involves learning to relate to the present moment with ease, remembering to notice, and recognizing that even brief moments of awareness build momentum.
Sayadaw U Tejaniya emphasizes bringing practice to life in all circumstances, not just on retreat. His teaching focuses on developing natural, sustainable awareness that is soft and receptive, rather than pushing or striving for results.
Awareness is knowing what's happening as it's happening, a direct experiencing of the present moment without intellectualizing. It's like an inward listening, noticing sensations (e.g., hands touching, feet on the ground) or sounds, and recognizing that this knowing is happening.
It's difficult because we forget to be aware, and we lack the habit or momentum of awareness arising naturally. Our minds tend to get caught in stories and meanings rather than simply noticing what is happening in the present moment.
Don't be discouraged; it's natural to notice dis-ease, tension, or anxiety. The act of knowing that these feelings are present is a wholesome quality of mind. Recognizing them allows for possibilities like patience, pausing, kindness, or softening the experience, which reinforces the benefit of awareness.
One practical way is to lightly check in with your body, asking 'Do I feel relaxed or tense?' This simple feedback can guide you. Also, don't underestimate the power of a single moment of awareness; each one makes a difference and helps build the habit.
Instead of fighting or judging the mind's tendencies (like compulsively checking news), bring interest and non-judgmental awareness to what's happening. Allow what's happening, but bring awareness to it, asking if an action is useful or leading to benefit, and letting wisdom guide you organically.
Mindfulness helps by allowing you to be with the experiences of grief, pain, and deeper wounds without being completely overwhelmed. By watching the heart and mind's cycles, and bringing awareness, wisdom, and compassion to them, you can navigate the experience and allow qualities of mind to meet the strength of the emotions.
22 Actionable Insights
1. Restart Meditation Without Guilt
If you fall off your meditation practice, do not worry or feel guilty; nothing has been lost. Simply start again, as habit formation is hard and inconsistency is common.
2. Prioritize Remembering Awareness
Recognize that awareness itself is effortless, but the challenge lies in ‘remembering’ to be aware. Cultivate a friendly and easy relationship with this remembering to build momentum.
3. Practice Awareness Anywhere, Anytime
Let go of the idea that awareness depends on a specific posture, closed eyes, or peaceful conditions. Allow your awareness to mature by practicing it in all types of experiences and circumstances.
4. Value Every Moment of Awareness
Do not underestimate the power of a single moment of awareness, such as noticing your breath. Each moment, no matter how small, contributes to building the habit of awareness and makes a significant difference.
5. Practice Inward Listening
Cultivate awareness by practicing ‘inward listening’ or ’noticing’ what’s happening as it’s happening. This involves a direct, non-intellectual experiencing of the present moment.
6. Effortlessly Notice Physical Sensations
To practice awareness, lightly notice simple physical sensations like the pressure or temperature of your hands, or your feet on the ground. This demonstrates that receiving sensory information requires no effort.
7. Simplify Awareness: What Can I Know?
Make awareness more accessible by keeping it simple: ask yourself ‘What can I know right now?’ and focus on basic sensory input like the body, breathing, seeing, hearing, or mental activity.
8. Ask ‘Are You Aware?’
Develop the habit of asking yourself ‘Are you aware?’ or ‘Is the mind aware?’ frequently throughout the day. This serves as a gentle reminder to bring your attention back to the present moment.
9. Tap the Awareness Swing
Cultivate awareness by ’tapping the swing’ – lightly noticing a sensation or feeling, then relaxing, rather than trying to sustain awareness with continuous effort. This allows awareness to build momentum naturally without exhaustion.
10. Use the 010 Method: Check Tense/Relaxed
Regularly check in with your chest or heart area to lightly notice if you feel relaxed or tense. This simple feedback helps you recognize when you’re moving out of balance (1) and prompts you to return to balance (0) through awareness.
11. Don’t Flinch From Unpleasant Awareness
If you notice unpleasant feelings when you become aware, do not get discouraged or judge the experience. The act of knowing what’s happening is wholesome and opens possibilities for qualities like patience and kindness.
12. Reduce Tension with Awareness & Breath
When you notice tension or unpleasantness, try to reduce it by recognizing its location (e.g., shoulders, heart) and taking a deeper breath. This reinforces the benefit of noticing and allows the mind to shift.
13. Notice & Learn From Striving
Recognize that attitudes of striving and pushing can hinder your practice. When these are noticed, treat them as just another experience to learn from, rather than judging them or letting them derail your practice.
14. Meet Compulsions with Kind Awareness
When you notice unskillful habits or compulsions, avoid fighting or judging them. Instead, bring awareness, interest, and a non-judgmental, kind attitude to what your mind is doing, allowing patterns to shift naturally.
15. Ask ‘Is This Useful?’
When faced with a choice or compulsion, ask yourself ‘Is this useful?’ or ‘Is this leading to some sort of benefit?’ Allow these wisdom phrases to organically steer your actions in a more skillful direction.
16. Target Areas Lacking Awareness
Identify specific areas or activities where you typically lack awareness and intentionally bring your attention there. This practice helps to expand and strengthen your overall awareness.
17. Observe Emotional Cycles with Interest
During difficult emotional experiences, observe your heart and mind with genuine interest, watching the cycles of intensity and settling. This allows you to learn from your reactions without being overwhelmed.
18. Be Real with Intense Emotions
Be honest and authentic with your intense emotions, allowing yourself to express them (e.g., through physical activity or loud music) without judgment. Recognizing the universality of these feelings helps shift your relationship to the experience.
19. Seek External Practice Reminders
Actively seek out reminders for your practice by listening to Dharma talks, podcasts, or reading relevant books. These resources can powerfully inspire and re-engage your mind.
20. Seek Therapy/Supportive Listening
During challenging times, seek out therapy or connect with someone who can listen and allow you to process your experiences. This external support is helpful alongside mindfulness practices.
21. Integrate Mini-Meditation Moments
Integrate formal moments of practice into your day, even if brief, by utilizing routine activities like going to the bathroom as a dedicated time to pause and reconnect with awareness.
22. Create Conditions for Mind Change
Recognize that mind change is possible and happens by consistently ‘putting in the conditions’ (i.e., practicing awareness) in any given moment, rather than trying to force or ‘make it all happen’.
6 Key Quotes
Awareness itself is effortless. It doesn't take any effort to know the sensations in your feet right now.
Dan Harris
The thing I was pointing to that my teacher in Burma, Saida Oteshaniya, says, is a moment of awareness isn't difficult, but remembering, remembering is what's challenging.
Alexis Santos
Don't get discouraged if what you're aware of feels unpleasant because there's a move you can make after that.
Dan Harris
We have to go on these special retreats or join these amazing podcasts and other resources and sign up for, you know, then we get the wonderful messages. But otherwise, we're kind of left on our own.
Alexis Santos
This practice needs to be a living practice, right? Something that we can be trying to cultivate all the time, any time that we remember.
Alexis Santos
It doesn't matter what the experience is. What the experience is, it doesn't matter. It is another set of conditions coming together, and there will be forever weather patterns, sunny days, rainy days, boring days, exciting days, and the same with moments.
Alexis Santos
1 Protocols
Daily Check-in for Relaxation/Tension
Alexis Santos (encouraged by U Tejaniya)- Lightly notice, as many times as you can throughout the day, the feeling in your chest or heart area.
- Ask yourself: 'Do I feel relaxed or tense?'
- Use this feedback to guide you, recognizing that the knowing itself is beneficial and can prompt softening or a deeper breath if tension is present.