How To Be Sanely Productive | Oliver Burkeman
Dan Harris and Oliver Burkeman, author of "Meditations for Mortals," discuss "imperfectionism" and the liberation found in accepting our finite nature. They explore practical ways to prioritize, make decisions, and engage more fully with life by letting go of the illusion of getting everything done.
Deep Dive Analysis
19 Topic Outline
Introduction to Imperfectionism and Finite Nature
The Illusion of Getting Everything Done
Miserable Productivity vs. Sane Productivity
Oliver Burkeman's Book Structure: Meditations for Mortals
The Liberation of Accepting 'It's Worse Than You Think'
Life as a Kayak vs. a Super Yacht
The Value of Small, Imperfect Actions Over Perfect Plans
Overplanning and Perfectionism as Avoidance
The Impossibility of Caring About Everything
Taking Action: Decision Hunting
The Importance of Finishing Things
Rules That Serve Life: The Concept of 'Daily-ish'
Developing a Taste for Problems
The Danger of a Frictionless Life
Letting Go: What If This Were Easy?
Allowing Other People Their Problems (People Pleasing)
Showing Up: The 'People Did That' Mindset
Defining What Truly Matters in a Finite Life
The Paradox of Mattering Immensely and Not At All
9 Key Concepts
Imperfectionism
This is an orientation towards life that begins by accepting our limitations, such as never getting everything done or being completely certain about the future. It's a pushback against the broader idea of perfectionism, which includes wanting to feel our lives are in perfect working order and trying to make everyone happy.
Kayaks and Super Yachts
This analogy describes two ways of approaching life. Being in a 'kayak' means navigating vulnerably and in the moment, accepting uncertainty and the spray of water. Being in a 'super yacht' represents the desire to be in total control, programming a destination, and being above it all, which is an illusion about human life.
Overplanning as Avoidance
Excessive planning is a pathology of seeking control, where one tries to bring the future under control by thinking through all possibilities and creating precise schedules. The payoff is a temporary feeling of security, but it's an illusion that drains the ability to participate in present life and never truly provides closure.
Decision Hunting
Instead of waiting for decisions to present themselves, this concept encourages actively seeking out decisions to make, even small ones. Taking a decision, which means choosing one path and closing off others, is the way to generate forward motion when feeling stuck in a creative project or any area of life.
Daily-ish
This concept refers to a flexible but disciplined approach to habits, where one aims to do something 'daily-ish' rather than rigidly every single day. It allows for occasional missed days without feeling like a complete failure, serving as a tool to integrate habits into daily life without the pressure of absolute consistency.
Develop a Taste for Problems
This idea challenges the notion that a problem-free future is achievable or desirable. It encourages seeing problems as an inherent and even relishable part of life, recognizing that the act of solving puzzles and addressing challenges is a fundamental human activity and often 'the job' itself.
Allow Other People Their Problems
This concept addresses people-pleasing tendencies, suggesting that while one should not ignore others' emotions, they are not a 'force majeure' that dictates all actions. It encourages setting boundaries and accepting that others' emotions are part of reality to be weighed, rather than feeling solely responsible for resolving them.
C'est Fait Par Du Monde
A Quebecois phrase meaning 'people did that' or 'regular people did that.' It's an empowering reminder that extraordinary achievements, businesses, social movements, and works of art were created by flawed, individual, finite humans, implying that one should not assume they are incapable of similar endeavors.
Paradox of Mattering
This paradox suggests that humans matter immensely and not at all simultaneously. While individual actions may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe, they hold profound meaning and significance in one's personal life and immediate community, encouraging a definition of 'mattering' that allows for daily meaning.
9 Questions Answered
Imperfectionism is an approach to life that starts by accepting our inherent limitations, such as the impossibility of ever getting everything done or having complete certainty. It pushes back against the broader forms of perfectionism, which include the illusion of reaching a state where everything is in perfect order or constantly trying to please everyone.
By letting go of the fantasy that a perfect, controlled future is coming, one can plunge more wholeheartedly into meaningful and enjoyable things right now. This acceptance reduces the psychological agenda of postponing full participation in present life, allowing for more authentic and effective action.
Any action taken, however stumbling or incomplete, is immeasurably more valuable than hypothetical plans for massive life transformations. Focusing on small, concrete steps in the present, rather than waiting for ideal conditions or trying to impose future control, is the only way to make progress.
Our capacity to meaningfully respond to crises or suffering is limited, requiring a willingness to neglect some issues to focus on others. Trying to care about every new development, especially in today's news environment, leads to dissipated emoting and can be disempowering, rather than leading to effective action.
Instead of waiting for decisions to appear, actively 'decision hunt' by looking for any decision, big or small, that can be made and committed to. The act of choosing one path and closing off others, rather than waiting for the 'right' decision, generates forward motion and helps overcome inertia.
Finishing things, even small manageable chunks of larger projects, brings energy and aligns with the reality of sequential living. 'Finishing' also includes consciously abandoning projects that are no longer serving you, rather than keeping many semi-finished things 'on the boil' which can be a form of self-importance or immortality fantasy.
This means accepting that problems are an inherent and continuous part of life, rather than hoping for a future without them. It encourages seeing challenges as opportunities for engagement and growth, recognizing that the human role often involves solving problems, and that a life without them would lack absorption.
Constantly trying to please everyone or resolve their anxieties beyond one's capacity is a form of people-pleasing that doesn't truly help others and can be detrimental to oneself. Other people's emotions are part of reality to be weighed, and sometimes saying 'no' or letting them deal with their own issues is the healthiest and most respectful approach.
Instead of seeking a universal 'laundry list' of meaningful activities, trust that you intuitively know what you want to be doing or will gain awareness by stepping into life in the present. A helpful question to ask is whether a certain path or choice 'enlarges me or diminishes me,' focusing on growth rather than just happiness.
36 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Imperfectionism
Embrace imperfectionism by accepting limitations, such as never getting everything done or fully understanding others, as a starting point for an active and calm life.
2. Lean Into Finitude
Embrace and lean into the understanding of your finite nature, as this acceptance can bring a sense of relief, empowerment, and clarity to your life.
3. Accept Incomplete To-Do List
Admit that you will never get everything done to achieve enormous liberation and truly prioritize what matters.
4. Engage Fully In Present
Stop postponing meaningful and enjoyable activities until a future time when everything is perfect, and instead plunge wholeheartedly into them right now.
5. Focus On Most Important
When faced with an impossible amount to do, accept that it’s impossible, then consciously pick and focus only on what seems most important.
6. Embrace Kayak Over Superyacht
Accept that life is like navigating a vulnerable kayak on a river, with inherent unpredictability, rather than fantasizing about the total control of a super yacht.
7. Prioritize Imperfect Actions
Engage in small, imperfect actions towards meaningful projects, as they are more valuable than waiting for perfect plans, which can be a form of avoidance.
8. Avoid Overplanning
Understand that overplanning is a form of avoidance, as it attempts to control the future and prevents full participation in the present.
9. Act Despite Imposter Syndrome
Realize that most people are ‘winging it,’ which can alleviate imposter syndrome and empower you to show up more fully, take bold actions, and launch projects now.
10. Cultivate Taste for Problems
Develop a taste for problems by recognizing that a life without challenges would be unabsorbing and that solving problems is a fundamental human activity.
11. Allow Things To Be Easy
Be willing to let things be easy, rather than assuming that important tasks must be hard or unpleasant, as this mindset can make many experiences unnecessarily difficult.
12. Avoid Brace Position Mindset
Even for objectively difficult tasks, avoid approaching them with a ‘furrowed brow’ or ‘brace position’ mindset, as this assumption of hardness doesn’t help and often makes things worse.
13. Address Internal Obstacles
To live a more meaningful and vibrant life, address internal obstacles such as illusions of security, control, or the need to know everything, rather than seeking a prescriptive list of what to do.
14. Trust Inner Knowing
Trust that you inherently know what you want to do in life, or that a dawning awareness will emerge as you step more fully into the present moment.
15. Ask: Enlarge Or Diminish?
When making choices, ask yourself if a certain path or decision ’enlarges’ or ‘diminishes’ you, as this helps identify what truly fosters growth and meaning beyond fleeting happiness.
16. Select Few Meaningful Priorities
Recognize that many things will feel like they matter, so the task is to pick a few of those meaningful things to focus on, accepting that there is no single perfect decision.
17. Question “Have To” Obligations
Before accepting uninspiring obligations, question whether you truly ‘have to’ do them, as there’s a tendency to tell ourselves we lack choice when we might have more.
18. Deprioritize Fear-Driven Obligations
Be willing to let go of obligations that stem from fear of disappointing others, accepting the potential consequence of their anger to free up time for what truly matters.
19. Allow Others Their Problems
Let go of excessive responsibility for protecting other people’s feelings, understanding that their emotions are part of your reality to be weighed, not a force majeure to always placate.
20. Weigh Others’ Emotions Wisely
Weigh other people’s emotions as one factor among many in your decisions, rather than treating them as a dominant force that overrides all other considerations.
21. Avoid People-Pleasing
Avoid people-pleasing, as it often leads to unkept commitments and a lack of genuine engagement, ultimately not helping others and depleting your own energy.
22. Say No Immediately
If you cannot commit to something, say no right away, as this is generally better for everyone involved than delaying the refusal.
23. Be Calm, Not Suffering-Absorbing
Strive to be a calm and helpful presence for others, especially children, rather than absorbing their suffering, as taking on their anxiety can be disorienting and unhelpful.
24. Actively Seek Decisions
Stop waiting for decisions to come to you; actively go looking for decisions, even small ones, to create forward motion when feeling stuck.
25. Close Options To Move Forward
When feeling stuck, actively seek out and make decisions that close off some options, as this commitment to a path is key to generating forward motion.
26. Commit To A Decision
Prioritize the act of making a decision and committing to a path, rather than endlessly searching for the ’exact right’ decision, as the act of choosing itself often leads to the best outcomes.
27. Decide, Then Course Correct
Make decisions readily, understanding that you can always ‘undecide’ and course-correct if the initial choice proves to be suboptimal.
28. Adopt Finishing Mindset
Cultivate a ‘finishing things’ mindset by picking one manageable chunk of a project, seeing it through to completion, and then moving to the next, as this sequential approach brings energy.
29. Consciously Abandon Projects
Recognize that consciously abandoning a project is a valid form of ‘finishing’ and can free up energy, rather than keeping too many semi-finished tasks on the boil.
30. Practice Habits Daily-ish
Adopt a ‘daily-ish’ approach to habits, allowing for flexibility (e.g., 4-6 times a week) while maintaining discipline, rather than rigidly adhering to an absolute daily rule.
31. Adopt Life-Integrated Practices
Choose practices and systems that can seamlessly integrate into your current daily life, rather than those requiring a complete overhaul or significant time commitment to implement.
32. Selectively Address Global Issues
To meaningfully respond to global crises or suffering, be willing to neglect some issues and focus your attention and resources on a select few.
33. Action Antidote To Despair
Combat despair about national or international issues by taking even a small, concrete action to address them, as action is the antidote to hopelessness.
34. Choose Action Over Emoting
Pick your battles and take concrete action, however small, to make a difference, rather than passively emoting or expressing condemnation on social media, which often leaves you feeling powerless.
35. Recognize Ordinary People’s Achievements
Recognize that all great human achievements are made by flawed, finite individuals, which can be an empowering realization for pursuing your own ambitions.
36. Find Daily Meaning
Adopt a definition of ‘mattering’ and the meaning of life that allows you to find significance and purpose in many different parts of your everyday existence.
8 Key Quotes
There is enormous liberation to be had in admitting defeat, in conceding the obvious that we're never going to get everything done. Only then, he says, can we truly prioritize.
Dan Harris
I think that there is nothing more sort of liberating and energizing than to understand certain ways in which the human condition is worse than we think it is.
Oliver Burkeman
The deciding that matters more than it is what you decide, at least very often in life.
Oliver Burkeman
It's the opposite, right? It brings energy. There's something about closing things up that's on your plate that, because it entails sort of falling in line with the truth about reality, which is that we can only really do one thing at a time and we're moving sequentially through our lives. There's something about that that sort of puts the wind beneath your wings.
Oliver Burkeman
You're free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
Sheldon Kopp (quoted by Oliver Burkeman)
I can't fix it for you, but I can sit in the dark with you.
Brené Brown (quoted by Dan Harris)
The real human thing that we are here to do on some level is to solve problems.
Oliver Burkeman
Asking whether a certain path in life, certain choice enlarges me or diminishes me. That's such a great phrasing because it gets around this question of what makes you happy, which is fraught with danger and delusion and just keys into that sense of like, oh yeah, there are certain things that when I'm doing them, I know that I'm growing.
Oliver Burkeman