How to Change Your Habits | Katy Milkman
Katy Milkman, a behavioral scientist and professor at the Wharton School, discusses why changing habits is difficult and offers strategies from her book, "How to Change." She covers techniques like temptation bundling, commitment devices, the fresh start effect, and the importance of making habit change fun to overcome willpower's unreliability.
Deep Dive Analysis
19 Topic Outline
Why Human Behavior Change is Inherently Difficult
Katy Milkman's Personal Motivation for Studying Change
Temptation Bundling: Making Desired Behaviors Fun
Willpower is Overrated: The Power of Enjoyment
The 'Stick' Approach: Using Commitment Devices
Planning for Setbacks: Resilience and Self-Compassion
The 'Emergency Reserves' or 'Mulligan' Strategy
Elastic Habits: The Importance of Flexibility in Routines
Gamification: When It Works and When It Backfires
Encouraging Change in Others: General Principles
The Fresh Start Effect: Leveraging New Beginnings
Beyond Motivation: Why Fresh Starts Aren't Enough
Social Influence: The Power of Role Models and Peer Pressure
Streaks and Tracking for Habit Formation
Piggybacking: Attaching New Habits to Existing Routines
Giving Advice as a Tool for Self-Change
The Pitfall of Taking on Too Many Goals
Growth Mindset: Interpreting Failure as Feedback
Promoting Diversity and Inclusion Through Systemic Change
9 Key Concepts
Instant Gratification
This is the tendency to prioritize immediate pleasure or reward, which often works against long-term goals and change objectives. It's one of the deep-rooted instincts that make behavior change difficult.
Temptation Bundling
A strategy where an activity one dreads but knows is beneficial (e.g., exercise) is paired with an activity one finds inherently pleasurable (e.g., listening to a tempting audiobook). This makes the desired behavior more appealing and easier to stick with.
Commitment Device
A tool or formal structure that restricts future choices, making it difficult or costly to deviate from a long-term goal. Examples include putting money on the line that will be forfeited if a goal is not met, or using illiquid savings accounts.
What-the-Hell Effect
This phenomenon describes how a minor slip-up in pursuing a goal (e.g., eating one unhealthy food while dieting) can lead to giving up entirely, rationalizing further deviations by saying 'what the hell' and abandoning the goal.
Emergency Reserves (Mulligan)
A strategy for ambitious goals where individuals give themselves a limited number of 'free passes' for slip-ups, similar to a mulligan in golf. This helps to prevent the 'what-the-hell effect' and keeps individuals on track even after minor failures.
Elastic Habits
This concept emphasizes building flexibility into habit formation, meaning that while an optimal routine is set, fallback plans are also in place for when the primary routine cannot be followed. This makes habits more robust and lasting by preventing complete abandonment after a missed session.
Fresh Start Effect
The observation that people are more motivated to set and pursue goals at moments that feel like new beginnings, such as New Year's, birthdays, new weeks, or the start of a new job. These moments create a sense of a 'new me' and a clean slate, making goal initiation more attractive.
Piggybacking Habits
A simple technique for building new habits by attaching them directly onto an already well-established routine. The existing routine acts as a reliable cue to trigger the new desired behavior, making it easier to remember and integrate.
Growth Mindset
Coined by Carol Dweck, this is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence are not fixed but can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset helps individuals interpret failures as learning opportunities and feedback, rather than as diagnostic of inherent limitations.
14 Questions Answered
Behavior change is difficult due to deep-rooted instincts like the desire for instant gratification, forgetfulness, seeking the path of least resistance, low self-efficacy, and social networks that may not support change, all of which accumulate and work against us.
Willpower is often overrated and unreliable; people who appear to have high self-control often rely on established habits and routines that put good behaviors on autopilot, rather than constantly exerting willpower.
You can make it more appealing by linking it with something you already enjoy, a strategy called temptation bundling, or by finding ways to make the activity itself more fun and less efficient.
Yes, creating a 'stick' approach, such as setting up commitment devices where you forfeit money or face other penalties for failing to meet a goal, can be very effective by changing the cost-benefit equation.
You can plan for setbacks by incorporating 'emergency reserves' or 'mulligans' into your ambitious goals, allowing for a limited number of slip-ups without feeling like a complete failure and giving up entirely.
While routines are helpful, being too rigid can lead to giving up if the routine is broken; instead, aim for 'elastic habits' with fallback plans for when your optimal time or method doesn't work out, making the habit more robust.
Gamification can be effective when individuals opt-in and find it genuinely fun, but it often backfires when imposed by others (like employers) or when it feels like 'forced fun' because it's not aligned with personal enjoyment.
Moments that feel like 'fresh starts,' such as New Year's, birthdays, new weeks, or the start of a new job, are ideal times because they create a sense of a 'new me' and a clean slate, making people more likely to set and pursue goals.
Fresh starts primarily help with getting started and initial motivation, but they don't provide the necessary structures to overcome inevitable setbacks and the ongoing challenges of willpower, fun, or habit formation that are required for sustained change.
Instead of blunt advice, try to expose them to positive role models within their social network, as seeing others engage in desired behaviors can provide information, boost ambition, and create positive peer pressure.
Yes, putting yourself in the position of an 'advice giver' can boost your self-efficacy, encourage deeper introspection about goal achievement, and create a sense of accountability, making you more likely to follow your own advice.
No, trying to achieve too many things at once can be overwhelming and demotivating; prioritization is key, focusing on one or two clear goals at a time until they are established before moving on to others.
A growth mindset, the belief that abilities can be developed, helps individuals interpret failures as learning opportunities rather than signs of inherent limitations, making them more resilient and persistent in goal pursuit.
The most effective approach is to change systems and processes to be more fair (e.g., default promotion programs, advocating for better hiring policies) and to mentor/champion underrepresented groups, rather than solely relying on awareness training or trying to change individual attitudes directly.
20 Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Fun Over Efficiency
When pursuing long-term goals, focus on making the process enjoyable rather than maximally efficient, as people who find joy in their goals are more likely to persist and achieve them.
2. Design Choices, Not Willpower
Reduce reliance on willpower, which is unreliable, by designing your environment and choices so that desired long-term behaviors are either automatic or inherently appealing.
3. Implement Commitment Devices
Create formal incentive structures, such as putting money on the line with a referee, that restrict future choices and impose a cost for failing to achieve a goal.
4. Bundle Temptations for Motivation
Link an activity you dread but know is good for you with an alluring indulgence you enjoy, allowing you to look forward to the beneficial activity.
5. Plan for Setbacks with Mulligans
Incorporate ’emergency reserves’ or ‘mulligans’ into your ambitious goals, allowing for a limited number of slip-ups without abandoning your overall objective.
6. Build Elastic, Flexible Habits
Structure your routines with flexibility and fallback plans, so if your primary schedule is disrupted, you have alternative times or methods to complete the habit, making it more robust.
7. Leverage Fresh Start Moments
Initiate new goals or changes during ‘fresh start’ periods like New Year’s, birthdays, or the start of a new week/month, as these times naturally foster a ’new me’ mindset.
8. Prioritize Goals to Avoid Overwhelm
Focus on one or two clear goals at a time, rather than attempting to tackle too many simultaneously, to prevent overwhelm and demotivation.
9. Piggyback New Habits
Attach a new desired habit directly onto an existing, well-established routine to make it easier to remember and consistently perform.
10. Give Advice to Self-Motivate
Boost your own motivation and self-efficacy by giving advice to others who are struggling with similar goals, which encourages introspection and reinforces your commitment.
11. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
View failures and setbacks as valuable feedback and opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as fixed indicators of your capabilities.
12. Embrace a ‘Good-ish’ Mindset
Recognize yourself as a ‘work in progress’ rather than a fixed ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person, which fosters greater opportunity for continuous improvement.
13. Curate Social Role Models
To encourage change in others, strategically expose them to positive role models and peer groups who embody the desired behaviors, leveraging social influence.
14. Combine Change Strategies
Leverage multiple behavior change techniques simultaneously (e.g., making it fun and using commitment devices) to address various barriers and maximize your chances of success.
15. Track Streaks (with Reserves)
Use streak tracking to provide a self-rewarding system for consistent behavior, but include ’emergency reserves’ to prevent demotivation if a streak is broken.
16. Opt-In to Gamification
Utilize gamification to make goal pursuit more enjoyable, but ensure it’s a game you genuinely want to play or that others opt into, as forced gamification can backfire.
17. Rehearse Successful Behaviors
After a successful behavior change, articulate and rehearse what went well, focusing on specific triggers and positive responses, to solidify learning and prepare for future similar situations.
18. Fresh Starts Need Follow-Through
Understand that fresh starts provide initial motivation but are not sufficient for sustained change; additional strategies are needed to overcome ongoing obstacles.
19. Address Bias Systemically
To combat bias and promote diversity, prioritize advocating for structural changes in organizational policies (e.g., hiring, promotion) and actively mentor underrepresented groups, rather than solely relying on individual attitude adjustments.
20. Tailor Strategies for Others
When trying to encourage change in others, first identify the specific barrier preventing the change (e.g., confidence, habit, forgetfulness) and then apply tailored solutions.
5 Key Quotes
Willpower is overrated. And I think that one of the really interesting studies that my friend and collaborator Angela Duckworth did with one of her former PhD students, Brian Galla, showed that the people who we think of as having the most self-control actually aren't exerting self-control often when they're making the kinds of decisions that make us look up to them. They've built habits and routines that actually put those good behaviors on autopilots.
Katy Milkman
The better thing to do is actually just design choices so that the thing that's going to be good for you in the long run doesn't require willpower at all because you're looking forward to it.
Katy Milkman
Only 10% of New Year's resolutions are achieved. And okay, maybe we can make that higher when we use all the best science, but there's always going to be a lot of people who are facing challenges they can't surmount on the first try.
Katy Milkman
By teaching, we learn.
Katy Milkman
If we think of ourselves as good-ish and recognize that we're all works in progress, that we have more opportunity to get further faster.
Katy Milkman
4 Protocols
Temptation Bundling Protocol
Katy Milkman- Identify a behavior you dread but know is good for you (e.g., exercise, homework).
- Identify an indulgent entertainment or activity you love and typically do without guilt (e.g., audio novels, favorite TV show).
- Only allow yourself to enjoy the indulgent activity while you are performing the dreaded but beneficial behavior.
- Repeat this linkage to make the dreaded activity more fun and motivating.
Emergency Reserves (Mulligan) Protocol for Ambitious Goals
Katy Milkman (referencing Marissa Sharif's research)- Set an ambitious goal (e.g., do a task seven days a week).
- Give yourself a limited, predetermined number of 'emergency reserves' or 'mulligans' (e.g., two per week/month).
- If you miss a day or have a slip-up, use an emergency reserve to acknowledge the deviation without abandoning the entire goal.
- Continue striving for the ambitious goal, knowing you have a backup for inevitable slip-ups.
Piggybacking Habit Protocol
Katy Milkman- Identify a new habit you want to form.
- Identify a robust, well-established routine you already perform consistently (e.g., brushing teeth, showering).
- Schedule the new habit to occur immediately before or after the existing routine.
- Use the completion of the existing routine as a trigger or cue for the new habit.
Advice-Giving for Self-Improvement Protocol
Katy Milkman (referencing Lauren Eskris-Winkler's research)- Identify a goal you are struggling to achieve or an area where you want to improve.
- Put yourself in the position of an 'advice giver' to someone else (real or imagined) who is struggling with a similar goal.
- Articulate your best tips and strategies for achieving that goal, thinking through the process deeply.
- By giving advice, boost your own self-efficacy, gain new insights, and create a sense of accountability to follow your own recommendations.