How To Handle Dread | Saleem Reshamwala
This episode features journalist Saleem Reshamwala discussing the emotion of dread, its evolutionary purpose, and practical management techniques. He covers journaling, drawing, welcoming dread, and confronting fears related to climate change and death, drawing from "The Dread Project."
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to Dread and The Dread Project
Salim's Personal Motivation for Exploring Dread
Defining Dread: Fear Plus Time and Its Spectrum
The Evolutionary Utility and Adaptive Purpose of Dread
Journaling as a Dread Management Technique
Drawing as a Tool to Externalize and Reframe Dread
The 'Welcome to the Party' Metaphor for Emotions
Reframing Dread: Seeing Its Protective Intentions
Drawing Exercise: Dan and Salim Illustrate Their Dread
Confronting the Dread of Death: Memento Mori
Cultural Approaches to Death and Intimate Exposure
Eco-Dread: Connecting with Nature to Combat Climate Anxiety
Agency as an Antidote to Dread
Listener Feedback and Impact of The Dread Project
Preview of Upcoming 'More Than a Feeling' Episodes
4 Key Concepts
Dread
Dread is defined as 'fear plus time,' representing an anxiety about something that is not immediately present but anticipated in the future. It exists on a spectrum from mundane worries like a dentist appointment to existential concerns about mortality, and serves an adaptive purpose by alerting us to important things to prepare for.
Memento Mori
Memento mori are symbolic or visual reminders designed to keep death at the forefront of one's mind. By acknowledging and remembering the finite nature of time, these reminders can help normalize mortality and encourage individuals to live their lives more fully and intentionally.
Reframing
Reframing is a cognitive shift that involves looking at an unpleasant feeling, such as dread, in a new way. Instead of an aversive reaction, one can see it as the organism's attempt to protect itself, which can temporarily disarm its negative power and allow for a more skillful response.
Welcome to the Party Metaphor
This mental model suggests treating all emotions and thoughts, even difficult ones, as guests arriving at a party in your mind. The idea is to acknowledge their presence and allow them to 'be there' without fighting them, indulging them, or letting them take control, fostering acceptance and reducing internal struggle.
7 Questions Answered
Salim's interest in dread stemmed from a listener's poetic email about existential dread and a personal family medical situation where he experienced paralyzing dread but also observed friends finding pockets of joy amidst future challenges.
Dread is defined as 'fear plus time,' referring to anxieties about future events not yet immediately present. Its evolutionary purpose is adaptive, helping humans anticipate potential dangers and prepare for them, rather than causing paralysis.
Journaling helps by externalizing thoughts, preventing them from looping in one's head, and allowing individuals to look at them objectively on paper, which can lead to re-evaluation or identifying actionable steps.
Drawing allows individuals to create metaphors for their dread, visualizing it as a character or entity. This externalization can help reframe the feeling, making it seem less overwhelming and offering a new perspective.
Approaching the dread of death can be beneficial by incorporating 'memento mori' (reminders of death) into one's life. This practice helps normalize mortality, brings life into sharper focus, and encourages living more fully and intentionally.
Connecting with local nature can shift focus from overwhelming negative information to positive observation, providing grounding and calm. This connection can also inspire agency and action, moving individuals beyond paralysis related to climate concerns.
The 'welcome to the party' metaphor encourages individuals to acknowledge and allow all emotions, even unpleasant ones like dread, to be present in their minds without fighting them. This acceptance can prevent emotions from becoming stronger and allows for a more sane response.
15 Actionable Insights
1. Welcome All Feelings as Guests
Welcome all feelings and thoughts, including dread, as if they are guests at a party in your mind, allowing them to be present without judgment or trying to control them, as fighting them only makes them stronger.
2. Reframe Dread’s Intention
Shift your cognitive approach to dread from aversion to seeing it as a protective mechanism, acknowledging its underlying positive intention (e.g., trying to protect you) to temporarily disarm its intensity.
3. Externalize Thoughts
Journal or draw your thoughts and feelings to get them out of your head, as this can stop looping anxieties, allow for objective analysis, and help you gain new perspectives.
4. Embrace Dread as Action Signal
View dread as useful information, alerting you to something important to wrestle with, deal with, think about, or prepare for, rather than trying to make it disappear, and use it as a signal to take immediate action.
5. Practice Exposure Therapy
Gradually approach and engage with the things you fear, including death, as this direct confrontation can normalize the experience and reduce the intensity of your fear over time.
6. Surround with Memento Mori
Actively surround yourself with memento mori (symbolic or visual reminders of death, like skulls or mirrors) to keep mortality at the forefront of your mind and motivate intentional living.
7. Connect Deeply with Dread
Seek deeper connection, beyond just information, with the things you dread, as this can lead to feeling more human, less scared, and help overcome paralysis.
8. Connect with Local Nature
Connect with and observe local nature, noticing details like hills, rocks, and trees, to counteract negative information, foster well-being, and move towards environmental action.
9. Practice Empathy in Conflict
Practice empathy by understanding and respecting the hurt experienced by all parties involved in a conflict or tragedy, as everyone feels hurt regardless of their role.
10. Journal Simply
Be lenient with your journaling practice, using any available materials like a scrap of paper and a pen, without needing fancy supplies or aiming for perfection.
11. Use Dangerous Writing Prompt
Try using a ‘most dangerous writing prompt’ app or website to force continuous writing for a set time (e.g., 15 minutes), helping you get thoughts out without self-censorship.
12. Observe Daily Sunsets
Observe sunsets daily to find natural beauty and re-center yourself, especially when feeling disconnected or fearful about nature, as beauty is almost always available.
13. Research Indigenous Land History
Research the Indigenous history of the land you live on to foster a deeper connection and understanding of your local environment and its past stewards.
14. Experiment with Self-Help Tools
Be open to experimenting with various tools and practices that have helped others manage emotions, even if you use them intermittently or imperfectly, as learning from others’ experiences can be beneficial.
15. Join Dread Project Challenge
Sign up for the 5-day Dread Project email challenge at dreadproject.com to receive daily prompts and activities for working with dread.
6 Key Quotes
The purpose of dread is not to paralyze you. The purpose of dread is to help prepare you, is to help you think about what might happen. It's to help you take actions that you can right now.
Dr. Ali Mattu
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. The thing that I often see happen around self-care practices that is so just counterintuitive and unfortunately, I think just discourages people from doing them is that there is an expectation and a really high standard that people attach to even their self-care practice.
Dr. Hala Alian
This idea of welcoming everything in your experience as a guest, it makes it kind of fun. You know, it's going to be a party in there.
Jeff Warren
When we're talking about death, we're bringing our entire lives into focus. Talking about death to me is one of the most enlightening things. It reminds me that I'm still very present. I'm still very much here. Now, how can I fill up all the edges of this very limited time I have here?
Elua Arthur
This shit is spicy. It'll remind you that you're alive.
Ronnie Getter
Often we think of the opposite of dread as being hope. But sometimes he thinks of the opposite of dread as being action.
Dr. Ali Mattu (as quoted by Salim Reshamwala)
3 Protocols
Journaling for Dread
Dr. Hala Alian- Use any available writing material, such as a scrap of paper and a pen.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings to externalize them from your head.
- Review the written thoughts to gain a new perspective, potentially realizing they are less serious or identifying actionable steps.
Drawing Your Dread
Naomi Cohen Thompson, Jeff Warren- Create a visual representation or metaphor for your dread, such as a character or entity.
- Observe the drawing to see the dread from a different perspective, outside of your internal thoughts.
Connecting with Nature for Eco-Dread
Aurelia Casey, Patty Adams- Observe local nature, such as hills, rocks, trees, birds, or insects, in your immediate surroundings.
- Research the Indigenous people who historically stewarded the land you currently inhabit.
- Actively seek pleasure and connection in nature, rather than solely focusing on the fear of its loss.
- Step outside at sunset, even in a city, to find natural beauty and recenter yourself.