How To Handle Exhaustion, Disconnection, and Physical Pain | Meditation with Bart van Melik
This episode features a short, guided body scan meditation from Bart van Melik, a meditation teacher and psychotherapist. The practice focuses on finding an "okay" spot in the body and meeting that experience with kindness, without aiming for dramatic results or fixing anything.
Deep Dive Analysis
8 Topic Outline
Introduction to Bart van Melik and the Meditation's Purpose
Setting the Stage: No Fixing, No Pressure
Beginning the Body Scan: Noticing Contact and Sensations
Finding a Place of 'Okayness' in the Body
Cultivating Kind Awareness for the 'Okay' Spot
Expanding Ease and Reflecting on Kindness
Embracing the Body with Appreciation and Gratitude
Concluding the Meditation: Feeling the Whole Embodied Self
2 Key Concepts
Low-Key Body Scan Meditation
This meditation practice focuses on simply noticing the body as it is, without aiming for bliss, insight, or personal transformation. The core idea is to find one small area in the body that feels 'okay' (not necessarily great) and then meet that experience with kindness and gentle awareness.
Kind Awareness
Kind awareness in this context means observing bodily sensations and experiences with a gentle, non-judgmental attitude. It involves allowing something to 'be good enough' and extending compassion to the body, rather than trying to fix, force, or push through any discomfort.
3 Questions Answered
The primary goal is not to fix anything or achieve a special state, but to simply notice the body as it is, find one small place that feels 'okay,' and then meet that experience with kindness.
One should approach sensations with curiosity and care, allowing them to be without judgment, and extending kind awareness to them, rather than trying to push through or attain a specific feeling.
This question serves as a prompt to guide one's attitude and actions during the meditation, encouraging a compassionate and gentle approach to one's breath, body, and overall experience.
9 Actionable Insights
1. Find an ‘Okay’ Body Spot
Identify one small area in your body that feels ‘okay’ (not amazing, not blissful, just okay), and let kind awareness gently rest there. This helps you relate to your experience with kindness without forcing anything.
2. Approach with Curiosity & Care
Engage with your experience during meditation with only curiosity and care, letting go of any need to fix, attain, or push through anything. This fosters a low-pressure, accepting environment.
3. Gentle Body Landing & Scan
Take a slow, gentle breath, and as you exhale, feel your body landing, letting gravity work. Notice the weight, contact points, and any sensations (warmth, pressure, tingling) without judgment.
4. Spread Kind Awareness
Allow the feeling of ‘okayness’ or kind awareness to gently spread from that small area to other parts of your body, imagining it like sunlight or a soft hand. This extends the feeling of acceptance.
5. Ask: What Would Kindness Do?
Bring to mind the question, ‘What would kindness do right now?’ and apply it to your breathing, sitting, and self-perception, using a kind tone of voice. This shifts your internal dialogue.
6. Offer Body Kindness & Gratitude
Offer your body kindness, appreciation, or gratitude, not for its appearance or performance, but simply because it allows you to be present and exist. This cultivates a deeper sense of self-acceptance.
7. Set Realistic Meditation Goals
Approach meditation without aiming for dramatic outcomes like bliss, insight, or a personality upgrade, as the practice is simple and low-key. This prevents discouragement and unrealistic expectations.
8. Notice Embodied State
When ready, gently open your eyes or lift your gaze, simply noticing that you are embodied without immediately needing to move, stretch, or run. This allows for a gentle transition back to activity.
9. Join Supportive Meditation Community
Consider joining the 10% Happier meditation app for guided meditations, live Q&A, and a supportive community, as research shows this is a great way to create an abiding meditation habit.
5 Key Quotes
This isn't about fixing anything or achieving some special state. It's about finding one small place in your body that feels okay—not great, just okay—and seeing what happens when you meet that experience with a little bit of kindness.
Dan Harris
See if you can find one small area that feels okay right now. Not amazing, not blissful, just okay.
Bart van Melik
What would kindness do right now?
Bart van Melik
There's nothing to fix, nothing to attain, nothing to push through. Only curiosity, only care.
Bart van Melik
Feel the whole body as a single living field, messy, tender, miraculous.
Bart van Melik
1 Protocols
Low-Key Body Scan Meditation with Kindness
Bart van Melik- Take a slow, gentle breath in, and as you exhale, feel the body landing wherever it is, letting gravity do its work.
- Pause and notice the weight of the body being supported by the chair, floor, or bed, feeling the contact points and any sensations like warmth, pressure, or tingling, or the absence of much at all.
- See if you can find one small area in your body that feels 'okay' right now (not amazing or blissful, just okay), such as the hands, feet, face, shoulder, or belly.
- Let awareness rest in that 'okay' spot, and then let kind awareness rest there, feeling what it's like to let something be 'good enough'.
- Allow that small pocket of ease to spread just a little, imagining it moving like sunlight across the skin or a soft hand resting on the lap.
- Bring to mind the question: 'What would kindness do right now?' (e.g., how would kindness breathe this breath, sit in this body, or look at this body?).
- Rest in this reflection, knowing the body is right here with you and offering it kindness, appreciation, or gratitude not for its appearance or performance, but because it lets you be here.
- Take one more slow, kind breath, feeling the whole body as a single living field—messy, tender, miraculous.
- When ready, open your eyes or lift your gaze, noticing that you are embodied without needing to move or stretch.