How To Meditate When You're Freaking Out | Kaira Jewel Lingo
Kyra Jewel Lingo, Teacher of the Month, provides practical advice on meditating and coping with intense emotions like anxiety and grief. She emphasizes softening expectations, expanding the definition of practice, and seeking community support to navigate difficult times.
Deep Dive Analysis
11 Topic Outline
Introduction: Meditating with Difficult Emotions
New Guided Meditations for Subscribers
Weekly Live Guided Meditation Sessions
In-Person Meditation Party Event
Approaching Meditation During Intense Emotions
Walking Meditation as a Practice
The Role of Community in Difficult Times
Expanding the Definition of Meditation Practice
Being Present for Ourselves in Any Way
The Challenge of Opening Up to Others and Nature
Healing Through Connection with Other Species
3 Key Concepts
Sangha
In Buddhist terms, sangha refers to community, an aspect of Dharma or meditation often underemphasized in the West, which can provide support and collective energy during difficult times.
Nervous System Dysregulation
During periods of intense emotion, our nervous systems can become dysregulated. Being in a stable, calm community can help reset our personal energy because our nervous systems are not separate and can be influenced by collective energy.
Being There for Ourselves
This concept emphasizes supporting oneself during difficult times in whatever way is accessible, even if it doesn't conform to traditional meditation postures. The core idea is to find ways to be present for one's own experience and offer self-care.
4 Questions Answered
When facing intense emotions, soften your expectations about what meditation should look like. Consider practices like walking meditation outdoors, seeking loving community, trying guided meditations, or expanding your definition of meditation to include activities like swimming, dancing, or connecting with nature.
It's crucial not to judge yourself or force a specific posture. Instead, explore alternative forms of 'meditation' such as walking, dancing, swimming, or simply connecting with nature or a supportive community to find a larger field to hold your experience.
Being in a loving community, whether spiritual or a support group, helps combat the feeling of aloneness often associated with pain. It can also help reset dysregulated nervous systems by being around others who have stability and calm, as there's a collective energy that can influence individual well-being.
No, it's important to let go of the idea that meditation must look a certain way. During difficult times, meditation can take many forms, such as walking, swimming, dancing, or even crying while holding a tree, as long as it helps you support yourself and come back to the present moment.
14 Actionable Insights
1. Soften Meditation Expectations
During times of grief, overwhelm, or intense emotions, soften your expectations about what meditation practice should look like, as it’s unrealistic to expect to settle as you would in calmer contexts. This prevents self-judgment and opens the door to alternative forms of practice.
2. Expand Meditation Definition
Let go of the rigid idea that meditation must involve sitting still; instead, embrace alternative forms like swimming, dancing, crying while holding a tree, or any activity that helps you support yourself and return to the present moment. This broadens your approach to mindfulness and self-care.
3. Seek Loving Community
Actively seek and engage with loving communities, such as spiritual groups, grief groups, or mindful gatherings, especially during difficult times. Being in community helps alleviate the pain of feeling alone and provides crucial support.
4. Leverage Collective Calm
Spend time around individuals who exhibit stability, calm, and presence, as their collective energy can help reset your own dysregulated nervous system. Our nervous systems are interconnected, allowing for a shift in personal energy through shared calm.
5. Practice Walking Meditation Outdoors
Engage in walking meditation, ideally outdoors, during periods of heavy or overwhelming emotions. Being in touch with nature provides a larger field to hold difficult feelings, allowing the earth and surroundings to help carry the burden.
6. Utilize Guided Meditations
When your mind is loud or emotions are overwhelming, use guided meditations to help you release and let go. Having someone else guide you can be more supportive than trying to navigate silence alone during intense periods.
7. Practice Lying Down Relaxation
Lie down, open up to the sky, and feel the earth holding you, allowing yourself to be guided to release and let go. This gentle posture and guided approach can be a supportive way to be present for yourself during difficult times.
8. Prioritize Self-Presence
The ultimate point of practice is to be present for yourself in whatever way is accessible and supportive during challenging times. This means adapting your approach to self-care based on your current emotional state, rather than adhering to a rigid definition.
9. Embrace Human Connection
Actively seek and accept the support of other people when experiencing grief or overwhelm, as indigenous wisdom suggests we are not meant to endure these experiences alone. This reinforces the fundamental need for community and shared experience.
10. Connect with Nature for Nourishment
Open yourself to the benevolence and interwovenness of the natural world, finding nourishment and solidarity in elements like a tree’s shade or a bird’s song. This connection can provide support when feeling adrift or if human connection is unavailable.
11. Practice Short, Focused Meditation
If longer meditation sessions feel too challenging, commit to sitting for shorter periods, even just a few minutes or 10 breaths. This allows you to maintain the practice and ‘be there for yourself’ without overwhelming demands.
12. Consider Longer Meditation for Settling
For some individuals, sitting for a longer duration, potentially an hour, might be necessary for calm to settle, even if the initial period feels unproductive. Calm can sometimes emerge unexpectedly after a certain threshold of sustained practice.
13. Cultivate Self-Listening & Vulnerability
Make a conscious effort to listen to yourself, trust your inner guidance, and practice vulnerability by opening up to others. This goes against individualistic cultural norms but is essential for deeper self-care and connection.
14. Slow Down to Connect with Species
Intentionally slow down and adopt a different way of orienting yourself to be able to open up and listen to other species and life forms. This deliberate approach allows for deep healing and instruction from the natural world.
4 Key Quotes
It's just so important to not judge ourselves. Oh, I can't meditate right now. That's okay. There are other ways that you can support yourself and come back to the present if it's just too much to sit, you know, in a still posture.
Kyra Jewel Lingo
But really the point is to be there for ourselves, however we are, and in whatever way we can access that.
Kyra Jewel Lingo
all the indigenous wisdom says that when we are in grief, when we are in times of overwhelm, we really need other people. That's, we're not meant to go through those experiences alone.
Kyra Jewel Lingo
And it takes a real slowing down and a different way of orienting to be able to open to that. But there's so much healing.
Kyra Jewel Lingo