How to Thrive Under Stress | Elizabeth Stanley, PhD
Elizabeth Stanley, Ph.D., associate professor, discusses her journey through extreme stress and trauma, leading her to create Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training (MFIT). Her book, "Widen the Window," offers science-based advice and five key habit changes to thrive under stress and recover from trauma for everyone.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Elizabeth Stanley and her background
Elizabeth Stanley's personal journey with stress and trauma
Intergenerational trauma and personal adversities
Challenges with traditional meditation for trauma survivors
Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MFIT) explanation
Addressing concerns about mindfulness in the military
The pervasive nature of 'powering through' and its costs
Understanding and widening the window of tolerance
Five window-widening habits for resilience
Prioritizing sleep for stress recovery
Strategies for effective habit change: Experimentation
Strategies for effective habit change: Self-Compassion
Strategies for effective habit change: Understanding the 'Why'
Understanding stress contagion and its impact
Harnessing social connections for habit change
Final thoughts on small shifts creating big transformations
5 Key Concepts
Intergenerational Trauma
This refers to trauma and stress that can be passed down through family lineages, affecting subsequent generations. Elizabeth Stanley's family history of military service and undiagnosed PTSD in her grandfather and father illustrates how such experiences can impact an individual's own resilience and stress response.
Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MFIT)
MFIT is a resilience training program created by Elizabeth Stanley that integrates mindfulness skills with body-based self-regulation techniques. It is designed to help individuals, particularly those in high-stress situations like the military, manage stress arousal and facilitate recovery by making the survival brain feel safe.
Window of Tolerance
This concept describes an individual's zone of resilience to stress arousal, where both the thinking brain and the survival brain/body can work together effectively. Within this 'window,' one can function, stay connected, and fully recover from stress. Chronic stress, trauma, or certain habits can narrow this window, but it can also be widened through intentional practices.
Stress Contagion
Stress and emotions are contagious and can be transmitted from person to person, often originating from those with whom we have strong attachment bonds (family, partners) or power differences (bosses, leaders). This phenomenon means that much of our background stress arousal may not originate with us but from the people and environment around us, including media.
Pseudo-Regulators
These are habits that provide a temporary sense of relief or well-being in the short term but actually contribute to an individual's overall stress load in the long term. Examples include consuming sugar, drinking alcohol, or excessive television binging, which may feel good immediately but hinder the body's full recovery process.
9 Questions Answered
MFIT is a resilience training program developed by Elizabeth Stanley that blends mindfulness skills with body-based self-regulation techniques. It helps the survival brain feel safe enough for recovery, targeting parts of the brain focused on stress arousal and recovery, and has been tested with military troops and in other high-stress situations.
Awareness and mind-body optimization can enhance any aspect of life. MFIT is rooted in ancient warrior traditions that trained the mind and body for ethical decision-making, ensuring that these skills are used to make ethical choices and prevent disproportionate responses, rather than being divorced from an ethical framework.
No, the advice is for everyone. Many people devalue their own stress by comparing it to more extreme situations, but dismissing stress, even if it seems minor, prevents the body and survival brain from fully recovering, leading to accumulated wear and tear.
'Widen the window' refers to expanding one's window of tolerance to stress arousal, which is the zone where the thinking brain and survival brain can work together effectively. This allows individuals to function effectively, stay connected, and fully recover during and after stressful experiences.
The five key habits are awareness and reflection practices (like meditation), a healthy diet (focusing on a healthy microbiome, low inflammatory foods, less sugar, and reduced caffeine), consistent sleep (aiming for 8 hours), regular exercise (cardiovascular, strength, and stretching), and cultivating strong social connections.
The first step is to be intentional about setting the stage for restful sleep by disengaging from electronics an hour before bed and avoiding intense exercise, alcohol, or sugar right before sleep. For fragmented sleep, the goal is to make the sleep periods as high-quality and restorative as possible, avoiding activities that ramp up the system when trying to go back to sleep.
Effective habit change involves treating it as an experiment (trying one habit at a time, observing effects, and adjusting), practicing self-compassion (understanding that many behaviors are deeply conditioned and willpower is degraded under stress), and deeply understanding the 'why' behind existing habits to identify the needs they fulfill and find healthier alternatives.
When we are stressed, especially traumatized, our thinking brain capacity is degraded, which in turn degrades our willpower. This makes it harder to choose healthy options or interrupt tempting habits, as the inertia often leads towards immediate, less healthy gratifications.
Investigating the underlying needs or 'pseudo-regulators' that a habit fulfills (e.g., procrastination, missing TLC, pseudo-recovery) allows one to identify alternative, healthier ways to meet those needs. This process should ideally be done in a rested and regulated state, not in a moment of stress.
19 Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Sleep for Recovery
If you can only pick one habit, prioritize improving your sleep, as it allows your system to recover deeply while the thinking brain is offline, which is crucial for overall health, cognitive function, and emotional regulation.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Avoid self-criticism and shame by recognizing that many unhelpful habits are deeply conditioned and were once adaptive, and that willpower is degraded under stress, which is not a personal failing but a neurobiological reality.
3. Approach Habit Change as Experimentation
Treat habit change like a scientific experiment: pick one habit, commit to it for 3-4 weeks (or a month for difficult ones), journal your observations, and then adjust based on what you learn, maintaining nonjudgmental curiosity.
4. Understand Your Habits’ “Why”
In a rested and regulated state, investigate the triggers and underlying needs that unhelpful habits temporarily fulfill, then brainstorm healthier alternatives to meet those needs effectively, rather than relying on pseudo-regulators.
5. Cultivate Awareness & Reflection
Engage in meditation or mindfulness practices to train your attention, which helps the survival brain feel safe and enables the necessary recovery from stress, as recovery only happens in a state of perceived safety.
6. Optimize Diet for Gut Health
Maintain a healthy microbiome by consuming probiotics and low inflammatory foods, reducing sugar intake, and cutting back on caffeine, as these support gut health and serotonin production, which impacts anxiety and depression.
7. Engage in Regular Exercise
Incorporate cardiovascular exercise, strength training, and stretching into your routine to discharge excess stress hormones, boost immunity, and improve sleep quality, as these activities help regulate your system.
8. Cultivate Strong Social Connections
Actively build and maintain meaningful social relationships during stable times, as these strong connections are a crucial window-widening habit that provides support and resilience during stressful periods.
9. Seek Exposure to Nature
Regularly expose yourself to natural environments, such as walking through a park, because being in regulated situations helps your nervous system move towards regulation and reduces background stress.
10. Avoid Devaluing Your Own Stress
Do not dismiss or devalue your personal stress by comparing it to others’ ‘worse’ experiences, as this thinking-brain reframing ignores physiological processes and prevents your body from recovering.
11. Use Mindfulness for Impulse Control
Apply mindfulness to control impulses and read situations without negativity bias, especially in high-stress scenarios (e.g., military, police), which helps diffuse conflict and reduces the likelihood of unethical or regrettable actions.
12. Recognize Stress Contagion
Be aware that much of your stress may originate from others (attachment figures, power differences) or the environment; take conscious steps to stay regulated so you don’t constantly absorb external stress and emotions vicariously.
13. Leverage Social Support for Habits
Harness the power of social connections by partnering with others (e.g., a workout buddy or spouse) to pursue healthy habits, as shared commitment and support make it easier to sustain efforts and navigate resistance.
14. Pre-plan Healthy Responses
Develop a list of alternative healthy actions when in a rested and regulated state, so you have readily available options to turn to during moments of high stress when willpower and decision-making capacity are degraded.
15. Create Intentional Pre-Sleep Routine
Establish a calming pre-sleep routine by disengaging from electronics an hour before bed, avoiding late cardiovascular exercise, alcohol, and sugar, and opting for gentle activities to ensure deeper, more restorative sleep.
16. Manage Interrupted Sleep
If your sleep is interrupted, prioritize making up the lost time and ensure subsequent sleep is high-quality by avoiding stimulating activities or unhealthy foods before returning to bed.
17. Use Meditation/Relaxation for Sleep
Incorporate short meditation (10-15 minutes), gentle stretching, or a warm bath before bed to help your system wind down and improve overall sleep quality, even if it’s not formal meditation.
18. Commit to Self-Care Investment
Recognize that investing time in self-care habits is non-negotiable; choose to allocate time for them now to prevent greater costs later from accumulated stress and systemic wear and tear.
19. Start with One Small Shift
Begin your journey towards health and balance with even one small shift, as this can create positive inertia and ripple effects leading to significant transformations over time.
5 Key Quotes
We're not training better baby killers. We're training people who kill fewer babies.
Elizabeth Stanley
Our willpower is degraded in that moment. So it's not just the evolutionary heritage we're dealing with. We're also dealing with the wiring in this moment that is all – all the inertia is down this highway towards eat the cookie.
Elizabeth Stanley
We're not aiming to be perfect here. We're aiming to be whole.
Elizabeth Stanley
Everything that doesn't work is another opportunity to learn and gather data for what might work.
Elizabeth Stanley
Recovery is controlled by the survival brain, and the survival brain is not going to recover if it's not feeling safe.
Elizabeth Stanley
2 Protocols
Five Window-Widening Habits for Resilience
Elizabeth Stanley- Cultivate awareness and reflection practices to train attention, helping the survival brain feel safe, as recovery only happens in safety.
- Maintain a healthy diet by fostering a healthy microbiome with probiotics, consuming low inflammatory foods, minimizing sugar, and cutting back on caffeine.
- Prioritize consistent sleep, aiming for eight hours nightly. Disengage from electronics an hour before bed and avoid cardiovascular exercise, alcohol, or sugar right before sleep to ensure restful sleep.
- Engage in regular exercise, including cardiovascular training, strength training, and stretching, to discharge excess stress hormones, improve immunity, and enhance sleep quality.
- Cultivate strong social connections and meaningful personal relationships, building them during stable times so they can be drawn upon when needed.
Effective Habit Change Approach
Elizabeth Stanley- Approach habit change with experimentation: Pick one habit to change, try it for at least three weeks (or a month for challenging changes), keep a journal to note observations and shifts, and adjust as needed, bringing nonjudgmental curiosity to the process.
- Practice self-compassion: Understand that many habits are deeply conditioned, not personal failings. Recognize that willpower is degraded under stress, and avoid self-criticism, which exacerbates symptoms and slows recovery.
- Understand the 'Why': Investigate the underlying needs or 'pseudo-regulators' that current habits fulfill (e.g., procrastination, missing TLC, pseudo-recovery). This inquiry should be conducted from a rested and regulated state, not when stressed.
- Develop alternatives: Based on understanding the 'why,' identify and pre-plan healthier alternative actions to meet those needs. Have a list of go-to options ready for moments of stress when decision-making capacity is narrowed, rather than trying to figure them out in the moment.