How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt
Amita Schmidt, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and meditation teacher, discusses integrating psychology and spirituality, focusing on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Buddhist meditation. She shares her path through trauma, offering ways to work with the inner critic, access your "wise self," and find acceptance and aware presence.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Blending Psychology and Spirituality
Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the 'Self' Explained
Amita's Personal Journey: Healing from Chronic Depression
The Insight of Depression's 'Emptiness'
Embracing the Healing Journey: Acceptance and Surrender
Tend and Befriend: Understanding the Inner Critic
How to Befriend and Dialogue with the Inner Critic
Strategies for Accessing Your 'Wise Self'
Shifting from Psychological Healing to Spiritual Insight
Exploring 'Aware Presence' Beyond Personal Identity
Connecting Pure Awareness to the Inner Critic
Practical Tool: Labeling Thoughts and Emotions
Practical Tool: The 'Airplane Hanger' for Mental Space
The Transformative Power of Acceptance and Surrender
Simple Pointers for Sensing 'Aware Presence'
The 'End Game' of Spiritual and Psychological Integration
7 Key Concepts
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS is a therapeutic modality that posits we all have an inner cast of characters, called 'parts,' within us. The goal is to identify and work with these parts, such as the inner critic, so that they do not control us.
Self-Leadership (in IFS)
This concept in IFS suggests that instead of being driven by various 'parts' of our personality, we can be led by a wiser, distinct aspect of ourselves. This 'wise self' acts as a guiding force, driving our actions and decisions.
Wise Self (in IFS)
Referred to as the capital 'S' Self, this is considered the best, wisest, and most compassionate part of ourselves. Through practices like IFS therapy and meditation, the aim is to empower this Self to guide our inner system.
Emptiness (Buddhist concept)
In this context, emptiness refers to the idea that seemingly solid and monolithic experiences, like depression, are not inherently fixed entities. Instead, they are composed of constantly shifting constituent parts, and recognizing this non-solid nature can be liberating.
Inner Critic (in IFS)
Within IFS, the inner critic is understood not as a malicious entity, but as a 'protector part' that serves a function, often to keep us safe. Its critical behavior is a job it performs, and it can be approached with curiosity and compassion.
Aware Presence / Pure Awareness
This refers to the fundamental knowing faculty of the mind, the underlying 'blank canvas' upon which all experiences and thoughts arise. It is seen as a universal, animating force that is always present, distinct from individual thoughts or emotions.
Labeling (Mindfulness technique)
Labeling is a simple mindfulness practice of mentally naming an emotion or thought, such as 'inner critic' or 'desire.' This act helps to create distance from the experience, shifting it from being overwhelming to something that can be observed and processed more easily.
9 Questions Answered
Psychology, particularly Internal Family Systems (IFS), helps calm the system and address pain points by working with 'parts' of the personality, while spirituality offers a deeper perspective of self-transcendence and connection to universal awareness.
IFS is a therapeutic modality that views the mind as an 'inner family' of 'parts' (like an inner critic) led by a 'wise self' (capital S Self). The goal is to have the wise self lead, rather than being controlled by various parts.
Healing can be a long journey involving both therapy and spiritual practices, often requiring sustained effort. A pivotal moment can be a deep insight into the 'emptiness' or non-solid nature of the suffering, coupled with acceptance and surrender, allowing the pattern to unhook.
'Emptiness' means that seemingly solid experiences like depression are not fixed entities but rather constantly shifting combinations of energy, thoughts, and feelings. Recognizing this non-inherent substance can make suffering feel less monolithic and more workable, leading to liberation.
View the inner critic as a 'protector part' that is trying to help, even if its methods are harsh. Approach it with curiosity and compassion from your 'wise self,' asking what it's afraid would happen if it didn't criticize you, and then addressing that underlying fear.
Many people have limited access to their wise self, but techniques include opening your mind and heart 'as wide as the sky,' envisioning an older, wiser version of yourself, or talking to yourself as you would a good friend, focusing on qualities like curiosity, calm, and compassion.
Aware presence is the effortless, unchanging 'knowing faculty' or 'blank canvas' upon which all thoughts and experiences arise and pass. It's relevant because by connecting to this deeper, universal awareness, one can see the inner critic and other mental noise as temporary content, making them less impactful.
Two practical tools are 'labeling' (mentally noting a thought or emotion, like 'inner critic,' to create distance and shift brain activity) and the 'airplane hanger' analogy (envisioning your mind as a vast space where difficult parts are present but don't dominate due to the sheer spaciousness).
Acceptance and surrender are crucial because resisting difficult emotions or situations often makes them persist. By softening resistance and willingly being present with 'whatever is, however long it takes,' one can allow patterns to fall away and experience transformative change.
19 Actionable Insights
1. Cultivate Surrender and Acceptance
Cultivate surrender and acceptance towards persistent difficult states, as this can lead to a transformative insight where the pattern “unhooks” and falls away, as it did for the speaker’s chronic depression.
2. Practice Self-Leadership
Allow your “wise self” (a wiser, greater part of you) to lead your inner parts, rather than being blended with or controlled by difficult voices like the inner critic, enabling your wise self to “drive the bus” most of the time.
3. Tend to Pain Before Transcendence
Before attempting spiritual transcendence, first “tend and befriend” your psychological pain by relaxing parts, identifying where it hurts, and bringing compassion and kindness to those areas to prevent “spiritual bypass.”
4. Engage Critic with Curiosity
Engage your inner critic with compassion, curiosity, and calmness, asking questions like “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t criticize me?” to uncover its underlying fears and motivations.
5. Inner Critic as Protector
View your inner critic not as an enemy, but as a “protector part” that is trying to help you, even if its methods are unskillful, to foster a more compassionate and understanding approach.
6. Label Difficult Thoughts
Practice “labeling” or mental noting (e.g., “inner critic,” “anxiety”) in daily life to create distance from difficult emotions and thoughts, moving you into a state of awareness rather than being caught in them.
7. Create Spacious Awareness
Create “spaciousness” around difficult parts (like the inner critic or anxiety) by envisioning them in a vast “airplane hanger” rather than a small room, allowing for more presence and love to diminish their impact.
8. See Emotions as Empty
Recognize that difficult emotional states like depression or anxiety are “empty” of inherent substance, meaning they are shifting collections of constituent parts rather than solid, non-negotiable entities, which can lead to their dissolution.
9. Integrate Trauma into Path
Integrate working with difficult emotions or trauma into your spiritual journey, recognizing them as part of the same path rather than separate obstacles to be overcome first.
10. Expand Mind and Heart
To access your “wise self” or create spaciousness, practice expanding your mind and heart to be “as wide as the sky” or “like the night sky full of stars,” counteracting a collapsed feeling.
11. Consult Wise Elder
Access a “wise elder” perspective by envisioning your future 70 or 80-year-old self and how they would approach a situation, or by asking “What would the Buddha do?” to gain wisdom.
12. Practice Self-Compassion
Practice self-compassion by talking to yourself the way you would a good friend, mentee, or child, channeling your capacity for good advice and kindness inwardly.
13. Avoid Resisting Difficult Parts
Avoid trying to force a difficult part (like the inner critic or depression) to go away, as this resistance often causes the part to “dig in deeper” and persist.
14. Depersonalize Inner Critic
Reframe self-criticism as “the voice of the system” (cultural conditioning) or treat it like an AI chatbot to depersonalize it and take its pronouncements “with a grain of salt.”
15. Focus on Pure Awareness
Shift your focus from the “content” of your inner critic to the “canvas” of pure awareness itself, recognizing that this fundamental awareness is never critical and is free from thoughts.
16. Mental Noise Defaults to Silence
Recognize that all mental noise, including the inner critic, ultimately “defaults to silence” within the spaciousness of pure awareness, allowing you to wait for it to pass away.
17. Visualize Critic in Stadium
Visualize the inner critic as a single voice with a microphone in a vast, empty stadium (your spacious awareness), aiming to “take away the microphone” by not amplifying its perceived power.
18. Set Your End Game Intention
Set your intention for the “end game” of your practice, whether it’s transcending specific issues like depression and anxiety, or pursuing complete freedom and full awakening.
19. Everything Is Dharma
Adopt the mindset that “everything is Dharma” (nature/truth), meaning all experiences, whether difficult or mundane, are part of your spiritual path and can be approached with awareness.
7 Key Quotes
The whole thing, the coagulation of it all and the struggle with it all just fell away.
Amita Schmidt
You don't think that's a separate path from your spiritual journey. They're the same thing.
Amita Schmidt
What we resist persists.
Amita Schmidt
Your inner voice is the first AI. The mind is the first AI. So take it with a grain of salt, just like you would AI.
Amita Schmidt
Your awareness itself is never an asshole. Pure awareness, it doesn't even have any thoughts.
Amita Schmidt
It doesn't take any effort just to be.
Amita Schmidt
The inner critic, it's like one person in an empty stadium with a microphone.
Amita Schmidt
3 Protocols
Working with the Inner Critic
Amita Schmidt- Understand the inner critic as a 'protector part' that is trying to help, even if its methods are harsh.
- Bring your 'wise self' (characterized by curiosity, compassion, calmness) to the inner critic.
- Ask the inner critic: 'What are you afraid would happen if you didn't criticize me?'
- Address the underlying fear revealed by the critic, which often points to another part.
- Listen and reflect back without trying to make the part change; avoid being subtly blended with a part that wants the critic to go away.
Accessing Wise Self
Amita Schmidt- Open your mind and heart 'as wide as the sky' (like the 'big sky mind' or Hawaiian 'kahi').
- Ask yourself, 'Is my wise self here now?'
- Envision an older, wiser version of yourself (e.g., your 70 or 80-year-old self) and bring that presence online.
- Consider what a wise elder (like the Buddha) would do in the situation.
Creating Space from Difficult Thoughts/Emotions
Amita Schmidt- Labeling: Mentally name the thought or emotion (e.g., 'inner critic,' 'anxiety'). This acts as a 'cheat code' to awareness, moving processing to the prefrontal cortex.
- Airplane Hanger Analogy: Envision your mind as a vast airplane hanger. Even if difficult parts (like an inner critic or anxiety) are present as 'couches' or 'chairs,' the immense spaciousness means you won't constantly 'bump into them,' reducing their impact.