Jeff Warren, New Year, New You
Dan Harris and meditation instructor Jeff Warren answer listener questions on establishing and maintaining a meditation habit, offering practical tips from their book "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics" to overcome common hurdles and make the practice stick.
Deep Dive Analysis
20 Topic Outline
Introduction to New Year's Resolutions and Meditation Challenges
Origin Story: "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics" Road Trip
Introducing Jeff Warren and the 10% Happier Challenge
Question: How to Stop Procrastinating and Stick to Meditation?
Jeff's Habit Formation Strategy: Environmental Design and Structure
Dan's Habit Strategy: Lower Expectations, Rely on Pleasure, Not Willpower
The "Daily-ish" Concept for Sustainable Meditation Practice
Question: How to Get Back on the Meditation Wagon?
Finding Simple Pleasure and Appreciation in Meditation
Community's Role in Overcoming Meditation Hurdles
Question: How to Calm an Overactive Brain During Meditation?
Pre-Meditation Rituals and Physical Transitions for Focus
The Value of Difficult Meditations and Equanimity
Question: Spreading Meditation's Benefits Throughout the Day?
Cultivating Appreciation for Simple Pleasures in Daily Life
Question: Why Avoid Mindfulness Despite its Benefits?
Diversifying Practice: Compassion, Concentration, and Physical Activity
Question: Is Willpower a Trainable Meditation Skill?
Guided Meditation: Finding the "Right Effort" in Practice
Jeff Warren's Future Plans: Democratizing Mental Health Training
9 Key Concepts
Evolution and Healthy Habits
Evolution didn't prioritize healthy habits like flossing or meditation; it focused on survival and reproduction. This wiring makes establishing healthy habits inherently difficult, as we're wired for threat detection and immediate pleasure, not long-term discipline.
Environmental Design
This is about creating a structure or container in your life where a new habit, like meditation, can fit in seamlessly. By integrating the habit into existing routines and designing your environment, you reduce reliance on willpower and make the practice automatic.
Willpower (vs. Dopamine/Pleasure)
Willpower is an ephemeral inner resource that easily evaporates due to hunger, boredom, loneliness, or fatigue. Instead of relying on grit, habit formation should leverage dopamine and the brain's pleasure centers, allowing the benefits of the practice to pull you forward.
Daily-ish
A concept that promotes flexibility in habit formation, particularly for meditation. Instead of aiming for every single day, 'daily-ish' acknowledges that missing a day is okay and prevents the inner critic from derailing the entire practice, making it more sustainable.
Begin Again (in meditation and habits)
This core instruction in meditation, which involves gently returning attention to the breath after distraction, also applies to habit formation. It acknowledges that falling off track is inevitable and encourages a good-natured, experimental approach to rebooting the habit without self-judgment.
Enjoying Your Beingness
A contemplative insight that encourages appreciating the fundamental fact of existence and being alive, regardless of what is happening. It's a low-barrier-to-entry approach to meditation, focusing on simply being present and curious about the experience of existing.
Equanimity
The skill of being cool with whatever is happening in your experience, whether it's comfortable or uncomfortable. It involves letting yourself have the experience as it is, without resistance or judgment, which helps in dealing with life's vexations more calmly.
Friendliness Meditation (Loving-Kindness)
A practice that cultivates an inner attitude of warmth and friendliness towards one's own experiences, including self-perceived flaws or difficult emotions. It creates a 'boosted warmth' atmosphere, offering a 'vacation' from self-criticism and enhancing relationships.
Right Effort (in meditation)
This refers to finding the smooth, balanced, and careful amount of effort needed in meditation, avoiding both excessive striving (which creates tension) and being too lazy or drifty. It's about locating the sweet spot of attention that is effective without being forceful.
9 Questions Answered
Humans didn't evolve for healthy habits; evolution prioritized survival and reproduction, wiring us for threat detection and immediate pleasure, making long-term discipline challenging.
Design your environment to create a structure where meditation fits into existing habits, lower expectations by starting with just one or two minutes, and rely on the pleasure and benefits of practice rather than willpower.
There isn't a magic time; the best time to meditate is simply when you will actually meditate, so choose a time that makes it most likely to stick in your schedule.
Simply begin again without building a big story about failure; your nervous system retains the history of your practice, so make it simple and reconnect to the basic pleasure of sitting, even for just a minute or two.
Being with other people creates accountability, momentum, and a shared energy that can turbocharge practice. It also allows for pooling wisdom, sharing insights, and receiving support, which can lead to breakthroughs.
Incorporate a transition ritual before sitting, such as deep breaths, stretching, or light physical movement, to dissipate energy and signal to your body that it's meditation time. Also, recognize that 'bad sits' are valuable for training equanimity.
Continuously look for and recognize the subtle presence of that centered, sane quality in every situation. This involves valuing simple pleasures, slowing down, and noticing small moments of appreciation or peace that are always available.
Diversify your practice by trying different types of meditation, such as compassion or concentration practices, which can offer a 'gift' of simplicity and enjoyment. Alternatively, engage in physical activities like yoga or running that bring a sense of peacefulness.
While willpower is an unreliable resource for habit formation, meditation helps cultivate 'right effort,' which is a smooth, balanced, and careful inner effort in practice, distinct from forceful striving or laziness.
30 Actionable Insights
1. Acknowledge Natural Habit Difficulty
Recognize that humans are not naturally wired for forming healthy habits, as evolution prioritized threat detection and pleasure over long-term well-being. This understanding helps manage expectations and approach habit formation with more realism.
2. Experiment, Embrace “Failure”
When establishing a habit, approach it with a spirit of experimentation and accept that you will “fail” or encounter things that don’t work. This attitude, like Thomas Edison’s, is essential for finding what truly sticks.
3. Design Habit-Supporting Environment
Create a structure or “container” in your life by identifying existing routines and integrating meditation into them, rather than relying solely on willpower. This “environmental design” makes the practice fit naturally into your schedule, reducing the need for conscious effort.
4. Leverage Pleasure, Not Willpower
Instead of relying on ephemeral willpower, which evaporates with fatigue or boredom, rely on the pleasure and benefits derived from meditation (e.g., increased focus, calmness, better sleep). Let these positive outcomes “drag you forward” and sustain the habit.
5. Embrace “Daily-ish” Meditation
Instead of aiming for perfect daily meditation, adopt a “daily-ish” approach, meaning you try to meditate most days. This lowers the barrier to entry and prevents self-criticism if you miss a day, making the habit more sustainable.
6. Start Small: One Minute
Lower your expectations about the commitment required for meditation, understanding that even one minute counts. This makes the practice eminently doable and significantly reduces the barrier to entry.
7. Simply Begin Again
If you fall off the meditation wagon, simply begin again without making it complicated or building a story of failure. Your past practice is still “in your nervous system,” so just return to it in a simple way.
8. Practice with Community
Engage in meditation with others, even just one or two friends, to create accountability and momentum. Being part of a group or even starting your own can deepen your practice and foster a more present, centered state.
9. Manage Expectations, Be Open
Approach meditation with the simple appreciation for just sitting, without needing anything specific to happen or feeling a certain way. The fundamental training is to be open and accepting of whatever arises in your experience, whether it’s distraction, discomfort, or pleasure.
10. Find Pleasure in Meditation
Recognize that the act of meditation itself can be a source of enjoyment and pleasure, not just a means to an end for its benefits. This intrinsic enjoyment can become a powerful feedback loop for long-term practice.
11. Appreciate Your Beingness
Cultivate an appreciation for the simple fact of your existence and being alive, recognizing that this is a powerful and fundamental insight accessible to everyone. This “ultimate low barrier to entry” can be a profound aspect of your meditation practice.
12. Find “Right Effort” in Meditation
Cultivate “right effort” in meditation, which is a smooth, balanced, and careful effort, rather than a strivey or willful one. Experiment to find the sweet spot between being too vigilant and too lazy, as this varies for individuals and moments.
13. Diversify Meditation Practices
Recognize that different types of meditation serve different purposes; some focus on mindful awareness of discomfort, while others, like loving-kindness or concentration practices, offer a “gift” of simplicity and enjoyment. Choose practices that align with your current needs, whether it’s facing difficult emotions or seeking peaceful convergence.
14. Cultivate Inner Friendliness
Develop an inner attitude of friendliness and equanimity towards whatever arises in your experience, even aspects you dislike about yourself. Acknowledge these internal states with acceptance, which can transform your relationship with yourself and others.
15. Tough Sits Build Strength
View “tough” or turbulent meditation sessions as opportunities for growth, similar to a challenging workout. These experiences train you to deal with life’s difficulties more calmly, reducing reactivity to emotions off the cushion.
16. “Hold the Direction” Off-Cushion
After meditation, “hold the direction” by actively looking for the centered, sane quality in everyday situations. Develop personal cues to reorient to fundamental simplicity, space, or peace, recognizing that these qualities are subtly present all the time.
17. Value Simple Daily Pleasures
Actively seek out and appreciate the simple, subtle pleasures available in everyday life, such as sunlight, a smile, or a kind act. Taking an extra moment to notice and savor these experiences helps counteract negativity bias and connects you to a deeper sense of presence.
18. Attach New Habits to Existing
Review your daily schedule to identify existing habits with behavioral momentum (e.g., brushing teeth, exercising) and “draft off” them by adding a minute or two of meditation immediately before or after. This leverages established routines to make new habits stick.
19. Meditation: Best Time is When You Do It
Choose a time of day to meditate when you are most likely to actually do it, rather than forcing it into a “magic” time like mornings if you’re not a morning person. The best time is simply when the practice will stick.
20. Just Put Your Body There
If you’re struggling or don’t feel like meditating, simply put your body on the cushion or in the meditation posture. There’s power in physically starting, even if you only stay for 30 seconds.
21. Establish Pre-Meditation Rituals
Before meditating, create a transition ritual by engaging in deliberate physical actions like lighting a candle, arranging your cushion, or doing light movement (e.g., stretching, yoga, a short run). This helps dissipate energy and signals to your body and mind that you’re entering a different space.
22. Physical Activity for Calm
If sitting meditation feels too challenging or overwhelming, engage in physical activities like slacklining, rock climbing, running, or qigong, bringing full attention to your body. This can provide a sense of peacefulness and focus, serving as an alternative path to calm.
23. Observe Thoughts with Bemusement
When your mind is churning with thoughts, observe them with a sense of bemusement and acceptance, rather than fighting them. This detached, friendly observation allows thoughts to play out and eventually slow down.
24. Signal Meditation with Breaths
Begin your meditation by taking a couple of deep breaths, as this sends a clear message to your parasympathetic nervous system that it’s “meditation time.” This simple act helps initiate a calmer state.
25. Practice Friendliness Meditation
Engage in loving-kindness or “friendliness” meditation to cultivate an inner atmosphere of warmth and acceptance towards yourself and your experiences. This practice can feel like a “great vacation” and is scalable to all aspects of your life and relationships.
26. Commit Attention to One Object
During meditation, decide to commit all your faculties to one thing, like feeling the breath or sounds, bringing everything into that single focus. This convergence allows the mind and body to relax, leading to a subtle pleasure and a “flow state” that reinforces the practice.
27. Appreciate Practice’s Simplicity
Cultivate an appreciation for the simplicity of meditation, recognizing that it doesn’t need to be complicated or a “big thing.” Just dropping in for a few minutes to do this one thing is all it needs to be.
28. Share Practice for Wisdom
Engage in community practice to “pool wisdom” by sharing experiences and insights with others. Hearing how others approach their practice can reveal subtle aspects and lead to breakthroughs in your own understanding and experience.
29. Utilize Challenges for Momentum
Sign up for unintimidating challenges (like meditating one minute for 15 out of 21 days) to create momentum and experience the benefits of practice. Once you taste the positive effects, you’re more likely to stick with it or return if you fall off.
30. Join 10% Happier Challenge
Sign up for the free 21-day meditation challenge at 10percenthappier.com/challenge starting January 7th, where you “win” by meditating for at least 15 of those days with daily hand-selected meditations. This helps boot up a practice with a low barrier to entry and structured support.
9 Key Quotes
Evolution didn't care about whether you flossed your teeth. Evolution cared about you getting your DNA into the next generation.
Dan Harris
I've never failed, I just tried 10,000 things that didn't work.
Thomas Edison (quoted by Dan Harris)
The best time to meditate is when you will actually meditate.
Dan Harris
Willpower is an emaddeningly ephemeral inner resource which tends to evaporate in the face of things like hunger or boredom or loneliness or fatigue.
Dan Harris
Just put your body there.
Sharon Salzberg (quoted by Dan Harris)
Just begin again every time you get distracted, that is meditation.
Dan Harris
The wanting of the calm can be a barrier to the calm itself.
Dan Harris
Subtle is significant.
Shinzen Young (quoted by Jeff Warren)
Hold the direction.
Shinzen Young (quoted by Jeff Warren)
4 Protocols
Jeff Warren's Environmental Design for Habit Formation
Jeff Warren- Identify existing structures or containers in your life with clear delineations (e.g., waking up, brushing teeth, arriving at work).
- Add a small piece of meditation into that existing structure so it becomes something you don't think about.
- Design your environment to make the meditation sit take care of itself by knowing where it fits in the structure.
Dan Harris's Approach to Starting a Meditation Habit
Dan Harris- Look at your schedule and identify existing habits or behavioral momentum (e.g., exercise, brushing teeth, pulling car into driveway).
- Draft off that momentum by adding a minute or two of meditation right after an existing habit.
- Lower expectations about the commitment, recognizing that 'one minute counts' and makes it eminently doable.
- Choose a time of day when it's most likely to stick, rather than trying to force it into a 'magic' time like morning if you're not a morning person.
- Focus on the benefits and pleasure (dopamine) of the practice to drag you forward, rather than relying on willpower.
Jeff Warren's Transition Ritual for Meditation
Jeff Warren- Before meditating, take some time to get into a 'ritual space' or deliberate attitude.
- Engage in deliberate physical actions, such as lighting a candle, arranging your cushion, or doing some light stretching/movement (e.g., Tai Chi, yoga, running).
- Set an intention for your practice, or simply use these physical actions to dissipate excess energy and prepare your body and mind for sitting.
Guided Meditation: Finding Right Effort
Jeff Warren- Close your eyes or keep them at half-mast, taking a few deep breaths and softening/relaxing with an open-minded, good-natured, experimental quality.
- Choose an object of focus (e.g., breath sensation, feeling of hands, ambient sounds) and practice 'vigilant effort' by trying to stay fully on it, bringing your mind back immediately if it wanders.
- Shift to 'relaxed, easygoing effort' by paying attention to the object with a chilled-out, unhurried attitude, like casting a fishing line.
- Observe the contrast between these two types of effort and locate your personal 'right effort' – the sweet spot between vigilant and relaxed, which may vary for individuals.
- Sink into this located 'right effort,' appreciating the sensation while remaining easygoing and allowing distractions to be present without tension.