Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)
Jewel Kilcher, a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, discusses her self-taught mindfulness practices developed through a challenging childhood and homelessness. She shares how she "rewired" her brain to overcome trauma and negative thought patterns, emphasizing internal resources for personal growth.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Jewel's Alaskan Childhood and Family Trauma
Observing Pain and Developing Early Mindfulness Practices
The Concept of the 'Observer' and Rewiring Programming
Homelessness and Self-Developed Tools for Panic Attacks
Intuitive Mindfulness and Brain Re-patterning
Formal Meditation Training and Current Practice
Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns with Antidote Thoughts
The 'Whole Human' Concept and Emotional Fitness
Building a Mindfulness Platform and Corporate Culture Initiatives
Fan Community as a Support Network
Forgiveness and Reconciling with Family
Rebuilding After Personal and Financial Setbacks
Living by Values and Self-Auditing
5 Key Concepts
The Observer
This concept refers to the part of oneself that perceives thoughts and feelings, distinguishing it from the thoughts themselves. Jewel describes it as the 'driver' of the brain, observing the brain (the 'steering wheel'), allowing one to be curious about what is observing their thoughts.
Emotional English
Jewel uses this term to describe the learned emotional language and patterns one is raised with. She sought to learn a 'new emotional English' to break cycles of abuse and negative conditioning, recognizing that these patterns are deeply ingrained but can be rewired.
Fear as a Thief
Fear is characterized as a thief that takes past experiences and projects them into the future, thereby robbing an individual of the present moment. The present moment is identified as the only opportunity to enact change in one's life.
Antidote Thought
This is a practice developed by Jewel to counter negative thought patterns. It involves noticing an anxious feeling, tracking the underlying 'lie' the brain is telling, and then consciously replacing it with a 'whole body truth' to calm anxiety and build resilience.
Whole Human Concept
Jewel's framework for achieving happiness and balance, which she believes is a side effect of a lifestyle of harmony. It involves developing 'tone' (strength and education) in all 'limbs' of life, such as career, intimacy, parenting, physical wellness, and emotional fitness, to avoid imbalance and discomfort.
6 Questions Answered
Avoiding pain doesn't make it go away; it adds more pain through avoidance tactics and numbs one's ability to experience a full range of emotions, hindering safety and joy.
By observing thoughts and feelings, one realizes they are the 'perceiver' or 'observer' of these states, not the states themselves, which creates a gap between self and thought.
Fear robs individuals of the present moment by projecting past experiences into the future, thereby preventing them from taking different actions today to create change.
By consciously tracking anxious feelings back to the underlying negative thought or 'lie,' and then replacing it with a 'whole body truth' that fosters resilience and positive habits.
Forgiveness is not condoning harmful behavior or a gift to the person who hurt you; it's a gift to oneself that sets one free from carrying hatred.
By recognizing that the soul cannot be shattered, but rather needs a 'loving archaeological dig' to uncover one's true, whole self, often by recalling past positive self-descriptors and aligning actions with core values.
19 Actionable Insights
1. Cultivate the Observer Mindset
Practice perceiving your thoughts and feelings (e.g., “I’m the observer of sad,” “I’m the perceiver of anxious”) to realize you are separate from them. This creates a gap between you and your thoughts, preventing you from believing every thought and allowing you to be the driver of your life.
2. Face Pain Directly
Do not try to outrun pain, as avoidance tactics only add more pain and numb your ability to experience a full range of emotions. Instead, choose to face pain as it comes to stay sensitive and in tune with your intuition for safety.
3. Prioritize Emotional Fitness
Focus on learning to discipline your mind and curate your thoughts as the gateway to mindfulness in all other areas of life, from parenting to career. This foundational work helps you achieve balance and comfort in every aspect of your life.
4. Rewire with Antidote Thoughts
If your brain is addicted to negative thought patterns, consciously force yourself to replace them with “antidote thoughts.” When anxiety arises, identify the lie your brain is telling you, then tell yourself a “whole body truth” (e.g., “I am capable of learning”) to calm anxiety and build resilience.
5. Practice Forgiveness for Self-Liberation
Understand that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself to set you free, not a condoning of someone else’s behavior. Carrying hatred is like burning your own house down; release it to liberate yourself from its burden.
6. Develop Tone in Life’s Limbs
View your life as a body with different limbs (career, intimacy, parenting, physical wellness, emotional fitness) and seek harmony by getting “tone” in every limb. Actively educate yourself and develop in all categories to avoid imbalance and discomfort.
7. Use Writing for Mindfulness
Engage in writing as a mindfulness practice to feel calmer and reduce anxiety. Writing can serve as “breadcrumbs back to your real self,” allowing you to see the truth and access your inner observer.
8. Observe Hands, Understand Thoughts
Watch your hands, as they are “servants of your thought” and your actions. Observing what your hands are doing can help you see what you’re thinking, allowing you to slow down thoughts into action and eventually intervene in unwanted behaviors.
9. Practice Sensory Visualization for Calm
When experiencing panic or distress, use visualization techniques that engage multiple senses (sight, smell, color, touch) to force blood back into different parts of your brain. This helps get your brain back online and promotes calm, as demonstrated by imagining sinking into a tranquil ocean.
10. Count Breath for Presence
During meditation or “brain breaks,” count your breath (one for inhale, two for exhale) to give your brain a simple task. The goal is to be observed and curious, returning to the counting when your mind wanders, which cultivates mindfulness and presence.
11. Integrate Daily Mindfulness
Extend mindfulness beyond formal meditation by consciously choosing to be present during everyday activities, such as feeling the stairs under your feet when you walk. This helps cut the “puppet strings of your conditioning” and makes mindfulness habitual.
12. Conduct Daily Values Self-Audit
Write down your core values and, each night, perform a self-audit to assess if you lived by those values that day. If you didn’t, make amends and strive to align your actions with your values the next day, using them as a “compass” for your life.
13. Redefine Yourself as Whole
When facing difficult periods, remember that your soul cannot be shattered like an object; you remain whole. Undertake a “loving archaeological dig” to rediscover your true, whole self by recalling adjectives that described you when you felt unhurt, using these as a map to shed what isn’t truly you.
14. Look Inward for Solutions
Be willing to look inside yourself for answers and solutions rather than constantly seeking them outside. This internal exploration can lead to ingenious insights and personal growth.
15. Engage Community for Support
Actively seek help and support from your community or fan groups, speaking up about your problems and removing shame. This fosters a network where people can offer practical and emotional assistance to one another.
16. Prioritize Being a Good Person
Prioritize learning how to be a good person and developing personal character over pursuing fame, wealth, or multiple careers simultaneously. This focus on internal growth contributes to becoming a “whole human.”
17. Utilize Jewel’s Online Resources
Visit jewelneverbroken.com for free modules on gratitude practice, “paying attention” (meditation), and other exercises based on principles developed by Jewel, with scientific backing from Dr. Judson Brewer.
18. Read “Never Broken”
Read Jewel’s book “Never Broken” to learn about her life story, how she overcame challenges, and the 20 axioms she developed and lives by, which offer a framework for personal growth.
19. Be Inspired, Not Idolizing
Instead of idolizing others, choose to be inspired by their journeys while acknowledging their flaws and your own. Engage in your own exploration and growth, understanding that everyone is on a journey and makes mistakes.
5 Key Quotes
You can't outrun pain. It doesn't work. So you have original amount of pain, and then you start covering up that pain with avoidance tactics. And all it does is add more pain to your life.
Jewel
If I could perceive I'm sad, I'm something other than sad. I'm the observer of sad. If I could perceive I'm anxious, I'm something other than anxious. I'm the perceiver of anxious.
Jewel
Happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have, it depends on what you think.
Jewel
Carrying hatred around your heart is like burning your own house down to get rid of rats. It's like, why would you do that?
Jewel
A soul isn't a teacup. It isn't a chair. It can't be shattered. I remain whole at all times. I exist perfectly at all times. I just have to do a very loving archaeological dig back to my whole self.
Jewel
5 Protocols
Panic Attack Visualization Meditation
Jewel- Imagine being on a very turbulent ocean.
- Imagine sinking through the ocean, allowing yourself to relax.
- Notice the water getting calmer and the color of the ocean changing.
- Notice the taste of salt on your lips and rays of sunlight coming in.
- Reach the calm, tranquil sandy floor.
- Look up at the stormy surface, now distant and feel calmer.
Observing Thoughts (Hands as Servants)
Jewel- Watch your hands, as they are 'servants of your thought' and reveal what you're thinking through action.
- Observe the behavior (e.g., stealing) without immediately stopping it.
- Progress to acknowledging the action ('oh, yeah, I'm doing it') but still not stopping.
- Progress to wanting to stop but still being unable.
- Finally, reach a point where you want to stop and can intervene in the behavior.
Counting Breath Meditation
Jewel- Count 'one' on an inhale.
- Count 'two' on an exhale.
- Continue counting with the breath up to a set number (e.g., 20).
- If thoughts distract, gently return to the counting, starting over or picking up where you think you were.
- The goal is to be observed and curious, creating a gap between self and thought.
Antidote Thought Practice
Jewel- Notice an anxious feeling.
- Track the feeling back to the underlying thought or 'lie' the brain is telling (e.g., 'I don't know what I'm doing').
- Identify the 'whole body truth' that counters the lie (e.g., 'I can figure it out; I'm tenacious').
- Force yourself to habitually tell yourself this truth.
- Get 'addicted' to the positive, truthful thought to build resilience.
Living by Values Self-Audit
Jewel- Write down your core values.
- At night, conduct a self-audit: 'Did I live these values today?'
- If a value wasn't lived, make an amends.
- Strive to live by those values the next day.