Life, Interrupted | Suleika Jaouad

Sep 13, 2021 Episode Page ↗
Overview

Suleika Jaouad, a journalist, author, and cancer survivor, discusses her journey with leukemia, managing emotions amidst uncertainty, and finding agency through creativity. She shares insights on navigating illness, the challenges of survivorship, and critically evaluating the wellness industry.

At a Glance
13 Insights
1h Duration
15 Topics
5 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Introduction to Suleika Jaouad's Story and Themes

Early Diagnosis of Leukemia and Initial Prognosis

Challenges of Experimental Treatment and Isolation

Coping with Illness: Journaling and Finding Agency

The Shift to Hyper-Presence and Loss of Future Plans

Ambition and the Launch of 'Life Interrupted' Column

The 'No Time to Waste' Mindset and Brazenness

Impact of the Column and Connection with Readers

Exploring Liminal States and the Porous Line Between Sickness and Health

Post-Treatment Challenges: 'Cured' but Not Healed

The Road Trip as a Ritual for Healing and Confrontation

Lessons Learned: Swimming in an Ocean of Uncertainty

The Power of Vulnerability and Human Connection

Living into the Possibilities of Acquired Knowledge

Critique of the Wellness Industrial Complex

Anxiety of Accomplishment

This refers to the societal pressure, especially on young people, to constantly hustle, work, and strive to be the smartest, most prolific, productive, and 'shiniest' version of oneself, often leading to a feeling of being in a 'pregame' rather than living in the present.

Pinned to the Present

A state experienced when facing mortality, where one cannot dwell on the past (a life no longer lived) or the future (which feels scary and uncertain), thus forcing an intense, hyper-present awareness of the current moment.

Liminal State / In-Betweenness

A transitional state of being 'stuck' between 'no longer' and 'not yet,' such as being 'cured' from an illness but still grappling with its physical and psychological aftermath, or the period of young adulthood where one is not a child but not yet a fully formed adult.

Porous Line Between Sickness and Health

The idea that sickness and health are not a binary, but rather a spectrum where most people exist somewhere along it, and the border between these two realms is tenuous and easily crossed, as highlighted by experiences like a pandemic.

Vulnerability Begets Vulnerability

A principle stating that when one takes the risk to share their authentic self and experiences vulnerably, it often encourages others to reciprocate with their own vulnerability, creating a chain reaction of deeper connection and understanding.

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How did Suleika Jaouad cope with a severe leukemia diagnosis at a young age?

She found a sense of agency by compulsively journaling about her experiences, which evolved into a public column and video series, allowing her to process her emotions and connect with others while confined to a hospital bed.

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What is the 'porous line' between sickness and health?

It refers to the idea that sickness and health are not distinct, binary states but rather a continuum, and that the boundary between them is fluid and easily crossed, making life inherently tenuous.

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What is the 'in-between' place or liminal state that many people experience?

It's a state of transition where one is no longer in a previous condition but not yet fully in a new one, such as being 'cured' from a serious illness but still grappling with its physical and psychological aftermath, or the period of young adulthood.

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How can one find connection and meaning during periods of isolation or trauma?

By engaging in creative expression to give voice to indescribable feelings and by daring to share vulnerably, which often encourages others to reciprocate, fostering genuine connection even with strangers.

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What is the biggest obstacle to applying epiphanies or insights to daily life?

The culture of constant comparison and striving, often fueled by social media, which creates constructed standards that make it difficult to slow down, take a pulse check, and truly understand one's purpose and direction.

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How should one approach health and wellness advice, especially when vulnerable?

It's crucial to approach health information like a journalist, conducting thorough research, seeking second and third medical opinions, consulting with fellow patients, and arming oneself with as much information as possible to be a strong advocate for one's own health.

1. Journal for Narrative Control

Keep a daily journal to jot down observations, feelings, and taboo topics. This practice provides a sense of narrative control during times when much of your life feels out of your hands, allowing you to process difficult experiences.

2. Embrace Vulnerable Sharing

Dare to share what’s truly going on for you in a real way, as vulnerability begets vulnerability. This encourages others to reciprocate, fostering deeper connections by dropping masks and curated personas.

3. Advocate for Your Health

Approach your health like a journalist: do thorough research, get second and third opinions, and speak to fellow patients. Arm yourself with information and due diligence to be an effective advocate for your own medical care.

4. Prioritize with ‘Three Things’

Start your day by asking yourself: ‘If I could only do three things today, what would feel most important, rewarding, and nourishing?’ This thought exercise helps clarify priorities and focus energy, especially when feeling overwhelmed.

5. Stay Present Amidst Uncertainty

Learn to ‘swim in an ocean of uncertainty’ by staying present in whatever ’trip’ you’re on, without allowing your thoughts to ’time travel’ to the past or a scary future. This helps manage anxiety when life is upended and the ground feels unstable.

6. Find Creative Outlets

Make friends with yourself through some kind of creative outlet, whether writing, art, or another mode of expression. This allows you to ‘give ink’ to indescribable or uncontainable feelings, serving as a form of healing and self-examination.

7. Be Bold, Don’t Wait

When facing significant life challenges or opportunities, adopt a ’no time to waste’ mindset and be bold in asserting yourself or pursuing ambitions. This encourages you to ‘go for it’ rather than waiting, especially if you tend to be sheepish.

8. Challenge Constant Striving

Resist the culture of constant hustling, striving, and comparison to others or past versions of yourself. Instead, cultivate more ease in your days and take a ‘pulse check’ to understand not just where you’re going, but more importantly, why.

9. Create Personal Healing Rituals

When formal rites of passage are absent for significant life transitions (like surviving trauma), create your own ritualized healing ceremonies. This can help bridge the distance between ’no longer’ and ’not yet,’ aiding in recovery and re-entry.

10. Accept the ‘Messy Middle’ of Health

Release expectations of achieving a perfect state of wellness and avoid constantly striving for an ideal, mirage-like health. Instead, learn to accept yourself as you are and exist somewhere in the ‘messy middle’ of feeling well or unwell.

11. Utilize Workarounds for Limited Energy

When energy is limited, break down tasks into short, staggered bursts (e.g., 10-minute writing sessions). This allows you to maintain productivity and a sense of agency even from confined or challenging circumstances.

Be critical of the wellness industrial complex and unsolicited medical advice, especially when vulnerable. Do your research and think carefully before diving into anything sold as miraculous, to avoid misinformation and being taken advantage of.

13. Explore The Isolation Journals

Explore ‘The Isolation Journals,’ a free creative community that sends weekly journaling prompts from artists and writers. This resource offers a structured way to practice creative expression for healing, connection, and self-examination.

before death, it's all life.

Miguel Cervantes (quoted by Suleika Jaouad)

no time to waste.

Suleika Jaouad

Once the ceiling caves in on you, you no longer assume structural stability, you have to learn to live along fault lines.

Suleika Jaouad

when you dare to write or to share vulnerably, there's a kind of reverberation that happens where vulnerability begets vulnerability begets vulnerability.

Suleika Jaouad

there's the epiphany and then there's the application of the epiphany onto your life.

Suleika Jaouad

Healing Ritual: The Road Trip

Suleika Jaouad
  1. Learn how to drive.
  2. Decide to leave home for a couple of months.
  3. Borrow a friend's car and rent out your apartment.
  4. Embark on a solo 15,000-mile road trip around the United States.
  5. Seek out and meet some of the different people who'd written letters in response to your column over the years about their own moments of reckoning.
35%
Chance of long-term survival for Suleika's leukemia Initial prognosis given to Suleika Jaouad at age 22.
eight-month
Duration of experimental treatment course Physically challenging treatment course for aggressive leukemia.
four months
Time spent in isolation during experimental treatment Out of an eight-month experimental treatment course.
two more years
Additional chemotherapy after bone marrow transplant Followed a life-saving bone marrow transplant.
nearly four years
Total duration of leukemia treatment From diagnosis to being told she was done with treatment.
10 minute bursts
Writing duration for columns Suleika wrote her 800-word columns in short, staggered bursts due to limited energy.
800 words
Length of weekly columns The approximate length of Suleika's 'Life Interrupted' installments for The New York Times.
12 or 13
Number of columns pre-written Pre-written in eight weeks before bone marrow transplant, anticipating inability to maintain weekly pace.
hundreds
Number of reader notes received after column launch Received from readers around the world, creating a sense of connection.
seven days every three weeks
Post-transplant chemotherapy frequency A regimen followed after her bone marrow transplant.
15,000 miles
Distance of solo road trip Traveled around the United States as a personal healing ritual.
three things
Maximum daily activities at sickest point Due to extremely limited energy, used as a clarifying thought exercise for prioritizing.
nine years
Time since bone marrow transplant Suleika's current status regarding her transplant.