Making it RAIN | Tara Brach
Dr. Tara Brach, author, therapist, and meditation teacher, discusses her RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) meditation acronym. She explains how to apply RAIN to various life areas, including relationships, explores the 'Eight Worldly Winds,' and addresses the universal suspicion of unworthiness.
Deep Dive Analysis
20 Topic Outline
Dan's Apology and Tara's Perspective on Teasing
The Importance of Flexibility in Teaching and Practice
Evolution of the RAIN Acronym: Nurture vs. Non-Identification
Understanding the Buddhist Concept of the Eight Worldly Winds
The Value of Practicing Meditation and the Path Together
Origin and Development of the RAIN Practice
Deep Dive into RAIN: Recognize and Allow
Deep Dive into RAIN: Investigate (Somatic vs. Cognitive)
Applying RAIN with Trauma: Nurture First
Deep Dive into RAIN: Nurture (Pathways to Self-Kindness)
The 'After the RAIN' Phase: Noticing Identity Shifts
Overcoming Difficulty in Receiving Love and Spiritual Reparenting
Exploring Love as the Source of Our Being
Evolution of Consciousness and Moving Beyond Tribalism
Addressing the Universal Belief of Something Being Wrong With Us
Tara's Personal Experience with Illness and Self-Blame
Applying RAIN to Fear and Panic Attacks
Discovering Your Deepest Longing and Life's Purpose
Using RAIN in Relationships for Empathy and Connection
Dan's Personal Apology and Tara's Response
6 Key Concepts
RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture)
A four-step meditation acronym for processing difficult emotions and experiences. It involves pausing to notice what's happening, accepting its presence, exploring its manifestation in the body, and responding with kindness to soften resistance and foster spaciousness.
The Eight Worldly Winds
A Buddhist concept describing eight conditions that 'blow us around' and influence our emotional state: gain and loss, fame and disrepute, praise and blame, and pleasure and pain. Recognizing these as impersonal helps cultivate freedom from identification.
Non-dual Reality
A state of awareness that transcends the perception of a separate self, recognizing a larger sense of beingness. In this state, identification with specific personality traits or bodily sensations dissolves through feeling and not resisting them.
Trance of Unworthiness
A pervasive and often unconscious belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with oneself. This belief can manifest as self-judgment, shame, or a chronic feeling of 'never enough,' and is a significant blocker to inner peace and self-acceptance.
Spiritual Reparenting
The process of using meditation and self-compassion practices to address unmet needs from childhood, such as a lack of unconditional tenderness or a basic sense of trust and belonging. It helps individuals process past experiences and inhabit their wholeness.
After the RAIN
The phase following the practice of RAIN, where one intentionally pauses to notice the shift in identity that has occurred. This involves recognizing a feeling of spaciousness, openness, or freedom, and familiarizing oneself with this larger sense of self beyond egoic identification.
11 Questions Answered
RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture. Initially, the 'N' stood for non-identification, but it evolved to 'nurture' to emphasize the importance of kindness and compassion in softening resistance and embodying the experience, which then naturally leads to non-identification.
The Eight Worldly Winds are a Buddhist concept referring to eight conditions that influence human experience: gain and loss, fame and disrepute, praise and blame, and pleasure and pain. They are seen as impersonal forces that 'blow us around,' and recognizing this helps in non-identification.
Practicing with others, whether through sharing insights, being vulnerable, or engaging in interpersonal meditations, provides accountability, creates a safe container, and brings experiences into the light of awareness, helping individuals realize shared humanity and deepen connection.
Investigation in RAIN is primarily somatic, focusing on feeling how an experience manifests in the body (e.g., in the throat, chest, belly). While cognitive questions like 'What am I believing right now?' can support it, the core is direct bodily sensation, sometimes even sculpting the feeling with one's body.
Nurture is crucial because humans are often programmed to be self-critical. Bringing explicit kindness and warmth softens resistance, allowing for embodiment and spaciousness. For trauma survivors, nurturing first helps build stability and safety, preventing re-traumatization that direct investigation might cause.
Individuals can find alternative pathways to nurture, such as imagining love from a child or pet, or recalling moments of deep connection and letting that energy 'wash through.' The goal is to widen attention beyond what's wrong and allow a dimension of loving-kindness into the mix.
Tara Brach explains that when not caught in fear or self-identification, awareness naturally responds with tenderness and care when it encounters anything. This 'we' or 'connectivity' is the natural response of awareness, which is seen as the vast, tender source of our being.
This belief, often called the 'trance of unworthiness,' is super pervasive across cultures, manifesting as feelings of being flawed, never enough, or inherently bad. It's dealt with by recognizing it as a trance, investigating the suffering it causes, and then offering kindness and compassion to that suffering, which allows for a shift into a larger awareness.
In relationships, partners can take a timeout during conflicts to individually practice RAIN inwardly, processing their own reactions and beliefs. This allows them to speak from a less stuck place, reducing blame and creating a container for mutual understanding and empathy when they later share what's going on.
Both approaches can be effective, and it depends on the individual and situation. For some, a 'bring it on' attitude can reverse conditioning and build courage. For others, it might increase trauma. Nurturing can also be tailored to include messages of confidence and courage, making it a flexible response to what the heart and mind need in the moment.
The deepest longing refers to what truly matters to an individual at the core, often revealed by reflecting on what one would most regret at the end of life. Discovering this longing helps align daily actions with core values, energizing one's path and preventing being hijacked by immediate gratification or fear-based reactions.
15 Actionable Insights
1. Apply the RAIN Acronym
When experiencing suffering or reactivity, use the RAIN acronym: Recognize what’s happening, Allow it to be present without resistance, Investigate it somatically (how it feels in the body), and Nurture yourself with kindness to soften resistance and find spaciousness.
2. Cultivate Self-Nurturing
To nurture yourself, especially if traditional self-compassion gestures don’t resonate, identify what naturally warms or softens you (e.g., a child, pet, nature). Imagine and sense that positive energy to widen your attention from self-criticism, practicing regularly to build new neural pathways for self-kindness.
3. Investigate Somatically, Not Cognitively
When investigating during RAIN, focus 98% on how the experience manifests in your body (e.g., tightening in the chest, sensation in the throat, belly). You can skillfully use questions like ‘what am I believing?’ or ‘how is this expressing in my face/body?’ to direct attention to the somatic experience, or even sculpt the feeling with your body and face.
4. Adapt RAIN for Trauma
If you have a history of trauma, prioritize nurturing first for weeks or months to build stability, resilience, and safety (e.g., self-soothing, activating the parasympathetic nervous system) before engaging in somatic investigation, to avoid re-traumatization.
5. Practice ‘After the RAIN’
After completing the RAIN process, pause and rest in the shift that has occurred. Notice the qualities of spaciousness, openness, tenderness, or freedom to deepen your familiarity with your true identity beyond the egoic self.
6. Practice with RAIN Partners
Engage in RAIN with a partner to enhance accountability, create a safe and friendly container for practice, and bring insights into clearer awareness by verbally naming what’s happening. This can be done in person, on the phone, or online.
7. Engage in Interpersonal Meditations
Intentionally practice mindful communication by being present in your body during conversations, truly listening to others without preconceived ideas, and speaking from a place of heart and presence. This builds tolerance for discomfort and fosters deeper connection.
8. Address the Trance of Unworthiness
Recognize the pervasive belief that ‘something is fundamentally wrong with me’ (the trance of unworthiness) and understand that being ‘down on yourself’ is a ‘second arrow’ of suffering. Directly contact the pain of self-blame with honest recognition to evoke tenderness and offer care, transcending self-dislike with kindness.
9. Respond to Difficult Behavior with Compassion
When someone acts in ways you dislike, instead of immediately judging or reacting with fight, flight, or freeze, ask yourself ‘where does it hurt?’ to shift your perspective to compassion and recognize their underlying suffering.
10. Face Fear with Aggressive Acceptance
For panic attacks or intense fear, adopt an attitude of ‘bring it on, do your worst’ to turn the hunter (fear) into the hunted. This involves a willingness to fully experience the physical sensations of fear rather than resisting them, which can undo old conditioning.
11. Discover Your Deepest Longing
Engage in powerful self-inquiry by asking, ‘If I were at the end of my life looking back, what would truly matter most?’ or ‘What would most matter today?’ to align your daily actions with your core aspirations and energize your path of growth.
12. Navigate Fame and Disrepute
Observe the natural ‘inflating’ feeling when praised and the ‘deflating’ feeling when criticized. Cultivate awareness to remain free and unattached to these external validations or rejections, viewing them as impersonal ‘worldly winds’ rather than personal reflections of your worth.
13. Embrace a Pragmatic Approach to Being
Instead of getting caught in metaphysical debates about your core nature (e.g., Buddha nature vs. original sin), focus on what feels better and more ‘at home’ – acting with generosity, kindness, creativity, or joy. Cultivate these positive states through intentional attention.
14. Embrace ‘Cheesiness’ in Practice
If you find certain practices (like loving kindness) feel ‘cheesy’ or uncomfortable, recognize that a willingness to engage with this discomfort is essential for freedom. Overcoming resistance to what feels unfamiliar or saccharine can unlock deeper levels of practice.
15. Mentally Connect with Others
Practice mentally saying ‘we are friends’ to strangers or elements of nature (like a tree) to foster a deeper sense of interbeing and interconnectedness, opening yourself to a broader experience of affinity and love.
6 Key Quotes
It's not the survival of the fittest. It's the survival of the nurtured.
Luis Cozzolino (quoted by Tara Brach)
This belongs, creates just the space we need.
Tara Brach
The issues are in the tissues.
Tara Brach
If you can't get comfortable with cheesiness, you can't be free.
Unnamed Teacher (quoted by Dan Harris)
When humans don't face their fears, when they're run by them, we become incredibly dangerous.
Tara Brach
Where does it hurt?
Ruby Sales (quoted by Tara Brach)
2 Protocols
RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) Practice
Tara Brach- Recognize (R): Pause and notice when you are in reaction or suffering, acknowledging 'something's going on' in the present moment.
- Allow (A): Let the experience be present without trying to fix, change, ignore, or judge it, saying 'yes' to the actuality of the moment.
- Investigate (I): Deepen attention by bringing awareness to how the experience is expressed in your body (e.g., throat, chest, belly); ask 'How does this place want me to be with it right now?' or 'What does this place need?'
- Nurture (N): Respond to the vulnerability contacted during investigation with kindness, warmth, or compassion. This can involve physical gestures (e.g., hand on heart), specific words (e.g., 'it's okay, this belongs'), or imagining a source of love (e.g., a loved one or a larger presence).
- After the RAIN: Pause and notice the shift in identity that has occurred, resting in the resulting spaciousness, openness, or freedom, which deepens familiarity with who you are beyond the egoic self.
RAIN for Relationships
Tara Brach- Take a timeout: When stuck in a dynamic or pattern with a partner, agree to pause the interaction.
- Individual RAIN: Each person inwardly practices RAIN, feeling where they are caught, sensing the beliefs involved, breathing with the experience, and bringing care to their own internal state to avoid speaking from a stuck place.
- Sharing: After individual practice, exchange what's going on with each other in a way that is less blaming and allows for more empathy and compassion.