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1. Cultivate Intrinsic Practice Motivation

Ask yourself why mindfulness is an intrinsic part of who you are, rather than just something you want. Cultivate a deep curiosity to know the truth of your inner experience, even if it’s unpleasant, as this intrinsic motivation helps overcome discomfort and boredom in practice.

2. Confront Self with Compassion

Confront your true self with compassion and gentleness, acknowledging your suffering, vulnerability, and struggles, alongside your joy and strength. Then, recognize that these core human experiences apply to everyone, fostering connection.

3. Embrace Kindness & Acceptance Now

Redefine “enlightenment” not as a mystical transcendence, but as cultivating a different relationship with your current human condition, based on kindness and acceptance, right where you are.

4. Practice Kindfulness with Experience

Cultivate “kindfulness” by observing all experiences—good, bad, or indifferent—with a sense of gentle curiosity and acceptance (“huh, all right, so this is going on”). This builds resilience by training you to be with whatever arises.

5. Curiously Explore Difficult Emotions

Discard the idea that meditation must always be blissful; instead, cultivate “kind curiosity” about difficult emotions like anger. Turn towards them, notice where they manifest physically in your body, and learn their “tells” to inform wiser actions.

6. Hindrances as Growth Information

Recognize that hindrances and difficult emotions encountered during meditation are not failures, but rather fantastic information for personal growth. Avoid viewing them as opportunities for self-judgment.

7. Allow Imperfection in Meditation

Let go of the need to be perfect in meditation and instead learn to listen, trust, and allow whatever arises, even intense emotions like rage. This process can lead to a profound journey of self-discovery.

8. Avoid Self-Criticism in Meditation

Do not use meditation as an opportunity to be critical of yourself or believe you’re not doing it correctly. Accept that your experience is valid, as no one is “better” at meditating than you are.

9. Resume Practice Without Self-Judgment

If you fall off your meditation practice, give yourself a break and avoid self-labeling as a “failed meditator.” Nothing is lost; simply start again, just as you would return to your breath after being distracted during a session.

10. Don’t Aim to Be “Good” at Meditation

Do not approach meditation with the goal of “being good at it,” as this mindset can lead to smugness or self-judgment. The practice is not about achievement.

11. Recognize Shared Human Experience

Cultivate a sense of solidarity by recognizing that your fears, suffering, and anxieties are not unique, but are shared human experiences. This perspective fosters connection and can be a beautiful part of practice.

12. Approach Self-Illusion with Kindness

While acknowledging the self as an illusion, approach this understanding with kindness and gentleness, rather than self-punishment or trying to “crush” it. This illusion is a fundamental, shared aspect of the human experience.

13. Recognize & Detach from Primal Impulses

Recognize that many strong emotions and behaviors, like the fight-or-flight response, are evolutionary remnants from our “monkey brain” that no longer serve us in modern contexts. Understand that you don’t always have to act on these primal impulses.

14. Shift Your Perspective

Recognize that true change comes from shifting your perspective on circumstances, rather than expecting external events or achievements to fundamentally alter your internal state.

15. External Gains Don’t Alter Inner State

Understand that achieving external goals or getting what you want often does not fundamentally change your internal emotional state or bring the expected lasting happiness.

16. Re-evaluate Goals Based on Others’ Happiness

When pursuing goals, observe those who have achieved similar material success and assess their actual happiness. This can help re-evaluate the assumption that external achievements will lead to a different, happier emotional state.

17. Practice Micro Meditation Hits

Even very short meditation sessions, or “micro hits” (e.g., one minute), are valuable. They can build an on-ramp to a more regular practice and prevent self-criticism from not meeting longer practice goals.

18. Start with Shorter Meditation Increments

For those struggling with consistent meditation, especially high achievers, offer shorter practice increments or integrate them more into daily routines. This acts as an “on-ramp” to regular practice, reducing the barrier to entry.

19. Practice in Easy Circumstances

To develop the ability to manage difficult emotions “on demand,” consistently practice mindfulness in easy circumstances. This builds your capacity and resilience for when challenges become much harder.

20. Investigate Pain & Anger Triggers

When experiencing pain or strong emotions like anger during meditation, lean into them directly. Notice the exact moment they arise and investigate what specifically triggers them, exploring the underlying cause-and-effect chain.

21. Adjust Posture for Pain

If physical pain is a significant barrier to meditation, try meditating lying down or experiment with different postures to find a position where the pain is not overwhelming. Adjustments can be made for sleepiness if lying down.

22. Set Strict Tech Boundaries

Configure your phone to limit disturbances by setting a priority list for contacts and specific times you can be reached. Disable work email notifications, requiring you to actively check it, to create a wise relationship with your tools.

23. Inquire into Discomfort & Distraction

When you feel discomfort or the urge to distract yourself (e.g., checking your phone in an elevator, keeping the TV on), use it as an opportunity for mindful inquiry. Ask “Huh, fascinating, what’s up with that?” to explore your internal experience without judgment.

24. Join a Supportive Practice Community

Actively seek out and join a supportive community for your meditation practice, beyond just accountability buddies. A community provides a sense of belonging and people who will miss you and reach out, offering deeper support.

25. Build Practice Accountability

To maintain a consistent meditation practice, establish accountability structures by practicing with a community or friends. This provides support and encouragement.

26. Seek Ongoing Practice Inspiration

To stay connected to the purpose of meditation, seek ongoing inspiration from resources like good books or podcasts. This reminds you of the practice’s value when it might otherwise feel pointless.

27. Adopt a Mixed Practice Approach

Combine various meditation resources for a well-rounded practice: use apps, books, or online videos for daily engagement, and supplement these with community involvement, guidance from a teacher, and occasional retreats if accessible.

28. Balance Core & Maintenance Practice

Find a core meditation practice or tradition that deeply resonates with you, viewing daily app-based or opportunistic “micro hits” (e.g., on public transit) as maintenance. Avoid “getting too crazy” with mixing too many different styles.

29. Offer Mindfulness, Don’t Force

If introducing mindfulness or meditation in an organization, make it available and open the door, but do not force it on people. This non-coercive approach helps avoid alienating individuals and allows them to opt-in.

30. Avoid Lecturing on Meditation

Do not lecture people about meditation or mindfulness, whether they are employees or friends. Lecturing can be counterproductive and may lead to negative reactions.

31. Support Parent-Friendly Meditation

Advocate for or seek out meditation programs and retreats that are explicitly designed to accommodate people with small children, such as those allowing parents to go home at night. This makes practice accessible to more individuals.