Pods We Love: Happier with Gretchen Rubin

1. Question Your Own Rules

Regularly ask yourself, ‘Whose rule is this anyway?’ to critically evaluate whether your practices and behaviors are genuinely useful or just inherited habits.

2. Embrace Imperfect Action

Remember that ‘something is better than nothing’ to encourage taking small steps or imperfect action rather than waiting for ideal conditions.

3. Follow Routine, Not Mood

Prioritize following a routine over succumbing to your mood, as routines provide structure and consistency.

4. Prioritize Enjoyment Over Skill

Never let your lack of ability inhibit your enthusiasm; if you enjoy something, do it, as doing only what you’re good at limits experiences.

5. Be Kind to Future Self

Be kind to your future self by making choices now that will benefit or ease the burden on your future self.

6. Continuously Improve Yourself

Follow Maya Angelou’s advice to ‘do the best you can till you know better, then do better,’ allowing for growth and preventing regret.

7. Focus on Your Own Life

Understand that ‘you are the lead role in your own movie; everyone else is starring in their own,’ promoting self-focus and reducing comparison or overthinking others’ opinions.

8. View Everything As Lesson

Adopt the mindset that ’everything is a lesson,’ even difficult experiences, to foster continuous learning and growth.

9. Embrace ‘Nobody Cares’ Mindset

Adopt the mindset that ’nobody cares’ (in a non-offensive way) to make decisions without overthinking what others might think, freeing you from self-consciousness.

10. Pause Before Responding

Recognize that ’there are very few true emergencies’ and most situations benefit from a pause to calmly consider your response before acting.

11. Proactively Pursue Goals

If opportunities don’t come to you, ‘swim out to it,’ meaning proactively pursue your goals rather than passively waiting.

12. Apply ‘Good Enough, Move On’

Use the ‘GEMO’ (Good Enough, Move On) principle to avoid perfectionism and prevent the perfect from becoming the enemy of the good.

13. Strategically Organize Phone Apps

Reorganize your phone apps by moving frequently used and desired apps (e.g., e-reader) to your home screen for convenience and visual reminders, while moving less desired or ‘soul-sucking’ apps (e.g., social media) to later screens or folders to make them less accessible.

14. Leverage Your Exceptional Advantage

Identify an ’exceptional advantage’ in your life (e.g., proximity to a natural resource) and make a conscious effort to regularly engage with it, even for short periods, to enhance your well-being.

15. Document Your Family’s Familect

Start a collection or dictionary of your family’s unique words, phrases, and catchphrases (familect) to preserve memories, foster closeness, and create a satisfying time capsule of your shared language.

16. Overcome Decorating Paralysis

Use command hooks and strips to hang art and decorate your home, as this allows for easy repositioning and helps overcome the fear of making permanent decisions.

17. Enjoy Regular Tasks

For tasks you must do daily or regularly, actively seek ways to make them enjoyable to improve your overall experience and consistency.

18. Prioritize Sufficient Sleep

Remember that ‘sleep begets sleep,’ emphasizing the importance of consistent and sufficient rest for better overall sleep.

19. Overcome Exercise Hesitation

Acknowledge that you may never feel like starting exercise, but push through the initial reluctance, as you will likely feel glad halfway through and definitely after.

20. Maintain Calmness

In stressful or challenging situations, consciously remind yourself to ‘stay calm’ to think more clearly and respond effectively.

21. Apologize Without Excuses

When apologizing, ‘don’t ruin an apology with an excuse’ to ensure sincerity and effectiveness.

22. Limit Criticism of Others

Rein in criticism of how others handle tasks, especially in shared responsibilities like pet care, as there is often ’no one right way’ and constant criticism can be annoying.

23. Combat Isolation Through Living

If experiencing anxiety or depression, ‘consider living with other people’ as it can combat isolation and disconnectedness.

24. Manage Anticipatory Anxiety

Realize that ‘anticipation is often worse than the actuality’ to approach new experiences with less hesitation and a more open mind.

25. Disengage from Others’ Problems

Use the phrase ’not my circus, not my monkeys’ to remind yourself to disengage from situations or problems that are not your responsibility or within your control.

26. Avoid Late-Night Activities

Adhere to the wisdom that ’nothing good happens after midnight’ to avoid potentially negative outcomes associated with late-night activities.

27. Choose Your Arguments Wisely

Practice restraint by choosing not to ‘attend every argument you’re invited to,’ thereby avoiding unnecessary conflict and preserving your peace.

28. Avoid Unnecessary Corrections

Remind yourself that ‘it’s rarely worth correcting someone’ to foster better relationships and avoid minor conflicts.

29. Invest in Safety Essentials

Spend money on ‘good tires and good insurance’ as a worthwhile investment in safety and security.

30. Check for Essentials

‘Always check for toilet paper before you sit down’ as a literal and metaphorical reminder to ensure you have necessary resources before committing to an action.

31. Value Current Possessions

Understand that ’the cheapest car is the one you own,’ encouraging contentment with current possessions and avoiding unnecessary new purchases.

32. Act Decisively and Correctly

Adopt the mantra ‘do it right, right now’ to encourage immediate and accurate completion of tasks.

33. Maintain Consistency

Remember that ‘it’s easier to keep up than catch up’ to encourage consistent effort and prevent falling behind.

34. Prepare for Contingencies

Live by the principle ‘better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it’ to encourage preparedness.

35. Read the Manual

You never regret reading the manual for new items or processes, as it saves time and prevents errors.

36. Release Unnecessary Guilt

Remind yourself that ‘you don’t need to feel bad about things you don’t need to feel bad about’ to release unnecessary guilt or regret.

37. Avoid Nightcaps

Consider that ‘a nightcap is always a bad idea’ to avoid negative consequences associated with late-night drinking.

38. Visually Search First

When looking for something, ’look with your eyes, not with your mouth,’ meaning actively search before asking for help.

39. Maintain Momentum

For ongoing tasks, remember ‘once you stop, that’s it’ to encourage continuous movement and prevent losing momentum.

40. Communicate Directly for Messages

When a text or email becomes excessively long, switch to speaking directly to ensure clearer and more efficient communication.

41. Prioritize Over-Communication

In communication, it’s ‘far better to over-communicate than to under-communicate’ to ensure clarity and avoid misunderstandings.

42. Cultivate General Preparedness

Be prepared, even if you don’t know exactly what you’re preparing for, by having general readiness for unforeseen circumstances.

43. Limit Opinions

Understand that ‘you don’t need to have an opinion about everything’ to reduce mental burden and unnecessary engagement.

44. Observe Others’ Treatment Preferences

Pay attention to how people treat you, as it often reveals ‘how they like to be treated’ themselves, offering insight into their love language or preferences.

45. Focus on Choices, Not Consequences

Understand that ‘you can control the choice you make, but not the consequence of that choice,’ encouraging mindful decision-making without attachment to outcomes.

46. Maintain Work Hustle

Keep your ‘hustle going’ by consistently putting in effort, even working on weekends if necessary, to manage multiple projects and challenges simultaneously.

47. Access Custom Meditations

Sign up as a paying subscriber at danharris.com to receive bespoke custom meditations that drop with Monday and Wednesday episodes, created by a teacher of the month.

48. Participate in Live Sessions

Become a paying subscriber at danharris.com to join live meditations and Q&A sessions.

49. Subscribe to Substack Content

Explore and subscribe to Substack newsletters like ‘Secrets of Adulthood’ or ‘Happier in Hollywood’ for reflections, teaching stories, and free weekly content on happiness, habits, and human nature.

50. Share Personal Wisdom

Reflect on and share your personal ‘secrets of adulthood,’ which are aphorisms or pieces of wisdom that you find useful in navigating life.

51. Be a Doer

Understand that ’the people who do it are the people who do it,’ implying that action and consistent effort are key to achieving goals.

52. Prioritize Deliberate Speed

Practice ‘go slow to go fast’ to avoid mistakes and inefficiencies that arise from rushing, ultimately leading to faster and better results.

53. Accept Past Decisions

Reassure yourself that ‘just because things could have been different doesn’t mean they’d be better’ to alleviate regret and accept past choices.

54. Maintain Integrity

‘Always take the high road’ in interactions, as it leads to less conflict and maintains your integrity.

55. Practice Moderation

Apply the principle of ’everything in moderation’ to avoid excess in any aspect of life.

56. Act with Confidence

Recognize that ‘adults pretend they know what they are doing and no one notices most of the time,’ which can empower you to act even when you feel uncertain.

57. Accept Ongoing Tasks

Accept that ’the laundry will never, ever be done,’ which can help manage expectations for ongoing household chores.

58. Leverage Busyness for Productivity

Understand that ’the more I have to do, the more I get done,’ suggesting that a full schedule can sometimes increase productivity.

59. Avoid Risky Situations

Heed the advice ‘don’t squat with spurs on’ as a metaphorical warning to avoid situations where your actions could lead to self-inflicted harm or discomfort.

60. Embrace Simple Pleasures

Follow the advice to ‘always ride the carousel’ as a metaphor for embracing simple pleasures and opportunities for joy.

61. Rest for Clarity

When facing problems, recognize that ‘it’s always better in the morning after a good night’s rest,’ encouraging you to get sleep before making decisions.

62. Embrace Healthy Caution

Consider that ’the anxious bunny survives,’ suggesting that a degree of caution or preparedness can be beneficial for survival and well-being.

63. Be Prepared for Comfort

Adopt the motto ‘always carry a book and a sweater’ to ensure you are prepared for both intellectual engagement and physical comfort in various situations.

64. Organize for Easy Access

Organize your belongings so you’re ’looking at it rather than looking for it,’ which implies keeping things visible and accessible.

65. Seek Dialogue for Peace

Understand that ’there is no peace without dialogue,’ emphasizing the importance of open communication for resolving conflict and achieving harmony.

66. Avoid Pre-Worrying

Prevent unnecessary stress by remembering that ‘when you worry about something that hasn’t happened, you worry twice.’