Run Towards the Danger | Sarah Polley
Filmmaker and actress Sarah Polley discusses her book "Run Towards the Danger," exploring how confronting fears and past traumas can lead to recovery. She shares insights from her concussion recovery, the power of talking about childhood shame, and how present experiences can reframe past narratives.
Deep Dive Analysis
18 Topic Outline
Confronting Past Fears: Introduction to Sarah Polley's Work
Sarah Polley's Concussion and the 'Run Towards Danger' Advice
Interrogating Body Signals: Beyond Just 'Listening to Your Body'
'Run Towards the Danger' as a Life and Book Philosophy
The Reciprocal Dialogue Between Past and Present Selves
Re-evaluating Childhood Traumas and Finding Compassion
The 'Alice Collapsing' Story: Stage Fright and Scoliosis
Overcoming Stage Fright by Sharing Childhood Shame
The Power of Vulnerability and Close Friendships
'Dissolving the Boundaries': Reconciling Child Acting Past
Parenting a Child Interested in Professional Acting
Sarah Polley's Introduction to Meditation and Buddhism
The Nuance of Attachment to Meditation Practice
'High Risk': Motherhood, Grief, and Reframing the Past
Liberating Potential of Uncharacteristic Decisions
Re-evaluating 'Run Towards Danger' During COVID Recovery
The Tricky Balance of Listening to Your Body
Conclusion and Sarah Polley's Work Recommendations
5 Key Concepts
Run Towards the Danger
This is a personal credo and organizing principle for confronting fears and difficult past experiences. It involves intentionally exposing oneself to things that cause discomfort or anxiety, rather than avoiding them, to build resilience and facilitate recovery. This approach was initially given as advice for concussion recovery.
Dialogue Between Present and Past Selves
This concept describes the ongoing interaction where past experiences and memories are not static but are constantly influenced by present life, and vice versa. Present actions and new perspectives can change the meaning and narrative of past events, leading to a form of recovery or resolution.
Interrogating Body Signals
This is a nuanced approach to the common advice 'listen to your body.' It suggests not just passively accepting every signal (like anxiety or discomfort) as a stop sign, but actively questioning whether the signal is a genuine warning or a learned response that can be moved through. This helps distinguish between true physical limitations and anxiety-driven avoidance.
Near Enemy of Listening to Your Body
This refers to how an otherwise positive practice, like listening to your body, can become detrimental if taken to an extreme. Over-tracking symptoms or using discomfort as an absolute stop signal can lead to avoidance, atrophy of resilience, and a negative feedback loop where the body's perceived limitations are constantly reinforced.
Vestibular System
The vestibular system is related to the inner ear and the sense of balance. Problems with this system can trigger anxiety, and conversely, anxiety can trigger vestibular symptoms, creating a feedback loop between the two.
7 Questions Answered
The advice is often to 'run towards the danger' – intentionally exposing oneself to the source of fear or discomfort, rather than avoiding it. This approach, while counterintuitive, can strengthen one's ability to deal with difficult experiences and lead to recovery.
Not always. While important, over-listening or over-tracking symptoms can sometimes create a negative feedback loop, leading to increased anxiety and avoidance. It's crucial to interrogate body signals and distinguish between genuine limitations and anxiety-driven responses.
The past and present are in constant reciprocal dialogue. While the past affects present behavior, present experiences and new perspectives can also change the meaning and narrative of past memories, allowing for a different kind of recovery and understanding.
Yes, taking the shame away from difficult childhood stories by sharing them openly can be a massive relief. It allows for a re-examination of the memories from an adult perspective, often revealing that the perceived gravity or negative impact was not as extreme as the child's perspective held.
Intentionally making uncharacteristic decisions can be liberating. By choosing to act against ingrained patterns or anxiety-driven responses, one can challenge their perceived limitations and change what is 'characteristic' of them, leading to personal growth and new possibilities.
While meditation is beneficial, an attachment to it having a certain result or a belief that one 'can't survive' without it can become toxic. The goal is to integrate mindfulness into everyday life, not just formal practice, and avoid rigidity in one's approach.
Sometimes, an 'enforced grief' period, such as being grounded during a high-risk pregnancy, can force one to sit with and acknowledge long-unprocessed sadness and anger. This stillness can allow buried memories and emotions to surface, leading to a deeper understanding and eventual softening of the grief.
27 Actionable Insights
1. Adopt “Run Toward Danger”
Adopt ‘run toward the danger’ as a personal credo, meaning to confront the most challenging stories or situations in your life directly, as it can be transformative.
2. Confront Your Past Squarely
Instead of engaging in compartmentalization and denial or stuffing anger and shame, do the hard work of looking at your past squarely to process difficult experiences.
3. Interrogate Body Signals
Don’t just accept all thoughts and signals from your body; interrogate them to discern if something is truly wrong or if anxiety is present that should be walked alongside rather than letting it shut you down.
4. Make Uncharacteristic Decisions
Intentionally make decisions that are uncharacteristic of your fixed idea of self or identity to create amazing opportunities for change and personal transformation.
5. Process Hard Emotions Fully
Before attempting positive reframing, allow yourself to be sad and angry for a long time, unpacking and untangling the details of difficult experiences to avoid piling up resentment.
6. Talk About Childhood Shame
Recognize the immense power of talking about stories of childhood shame, as sharing them can be a massive relief and lighten the burden of secrecy.
7. Continuously Expose to Fears
Continuously expose yourself to the things that freak you out, as this method has a lot of evidence to back it up and definitely helps in dealing with fears like claustrophobia.
8. Adapt to Current Reality
Be flexible with personal mantras like ‘run toward the danger,’ adapting them to your current reality; sometimes, running toward the danger means allowing rest and recovery when your body genuinely needs it.
9. Relate to Past with Friendliness
Relate to your past, even the stickiest, ugliest parts, with friendliness, rather than being at war with what has happened, allowing for a new relationship with your stories.
10. Prioritize Human Connection
Make time for connection with close friends, even when busy, as it makes a significant difference in mental health and well-being.
11. Meditate Daily
Practice meditation daily, as it can become necessary for mental health and preventing oneself from becoming a ‘completely reactive ball of God knows what.’
12. Observe Past Influences
When past experiences dictate present behavior, get curious and interested in those influences rather than letting them uncritically guide the situation.
13. Form New Story Relationships
Work towards having new, more complex, and ultimately more interesting relationships with your past stories and memories, rather than them remaining static and hard.
14. Practice Being a Good Friend
Recognize that being a good friend, someone others can rely on, trust, and connect with, is a skill that has to be practiced and worked at.
15. Practice Walking Meditation
Incorporate walking meditation, either formally (slowly, focusing on each footfall) or informally (walking at a normal pace with open awareness), especially when too tired for seated meditation.
16. Concussion Recovery Exposure
For concussion recovery, under a doctor’s specific plan, gradually reintroduce stimulating activities like grocery stores, screen time, multitasking, and vigorous exercise to strengthen the brain.
17. Focus on Recovery, Not Symptoms
For certain conditions like concussion, stop meticulously tracking symptoms and instead pay attention to your recovery times, as over-focusing on symptoms can be unhelpful.
18. Grapple with Discomfort’s Source
When something doesn’t feel right, grapple with whether it’s genuinely not right or if it’s anxiety that should be walked alongside rather than letting it shut you down.
19. Do What Makes You Nervous
Actively engage in activities that make you nervous, such as highway driving, preparing a film, or writing a book, to prevent weakening through avoidance.
20. Anxiety as Starting Gun
Instead of viewing anxiety as a stop sign, try to see it sometimes as a starting gun, especially when it’s dictating behavior that prevents you from moving forward.
21. Avoid Negative Body Feedback
Be aware of and avoid negative feedback loops where your body’s initial discomfort is confirmed by your brain, reinforcing a belief that you cannot do something, which can prevent progress.
22. Process Past Losses for New Roles
To fully assume new roles or responsibilities, such as motherhood, deal with past losses and what they have left you with, as this processing is essential for growth.
23. Allow Periods of Cocooning
Give yourself permission for periods of ‘cocooning’ or removing anxiety triggers if needed, and judge yourself less for those times.
24. Avoid Fixed Self-Identity
Embrace the fun and liberation of not having a fixed idea of self or identity, especially regarding what you believe you can’t do or what you’re not like.
25. Embrace Continuous Self-Correction
Commit to personal development with the understanding that it involves continuously realizing past mistakes and evolving, rather than reaching a fixed state of perfection.
26. Have Hard Talks, Do Scary Things
Generally, it’s beneficial to have hard conversations and do the things you want but are afraid of, as this can lead to growth.
27. Use Guided Meditations
Access guided meditations to help with specific issues such as stress, anxiety, sleep, focus, self-compassion, and dealing with annoying people.
9 Key Quotes
If you remember nothing else from this appointment with me, remember this, run towards the danger.
Dr. Michael Collins
The more you eliminate experiences of things because they're painful, the more you're ill-equipped to deal with them.
Dr. Michael Collins
Stop tracking your symptoms. It's not helping you. Pay attention to your recovery times. So stop listening to your body so much.
Dr. Michael Collins
The past was affecting how I moved through the world while present life was affecting how the past moved through me. The past and present I have come to realize are in constant dialogue, acting upon one another in a kind of reciprocal pressure dance.
Sarah Polley
I often say that if you're committed at all to personal development, you are sentencing yourself to a life where you realize that you've been a complete moron up until about six weeks ago, your whole life.
Dan Harris
I'm not you. I'm not living your childhood. I don't have your parents. I have you. So it's not the same.
Sarah Polley's child
I think the thing with you, Sarah, is you're always waiting to arrive somewhere. And I think what you're going to end up realizing is you never really arrive anywhere.
Julie Christie
I was somebody who always saw their anxiety as a stop sign or a reason to not do things. And now it sometimes feels to me like a starting gun.
Sarah Polley
We don't have to be at war with what's happened to us. Like we don't have to like it and we can be really angry about it and really sad about it and everything, but maybe we can kind of like not be at war with the fact that it's there.
Sarah Polley
1 Protocols
Concussion Recovery Protocol
Dr. Michael Collins (as described by Sarah Polley)- Stop avoiding activities that stimulate your symptoms (e.g., overhead light, multitasking, noise, crowded environments, screen time).
- Actively engage in these previously avoided activities.
- Exercise vigorously every day.
- Perform very specific vestibular exercises.
- Stop tracking your symptoms; instead, pay attention to your recovery times.