The Importance of Dying Before You Die, Helen Tworkov
Helen Tworkov, founding editor of Tricycle magazine, discusses her book "In Love with the World," co-authored with Mingyur Rinpoche. The book details Rinpoche's radical wandering retreat and near-death experience, exploring themes of "dying before you die" by letting go of attachments and embracing continuous change.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Introduction to Mingyur Rinpoche's Wandering Retreat
Helen Tworkov's Early Path to Meditation
Understanding 'Nature of Mind' Meditation
Motivation for Starting Meditation Practice
Founding Tricycle Magazine and Early Buddhist Scandals
Distinguishing Enlightenment Experiences from True Enlightenment
Collaborating on 'In Love with the World'
Mingyur Rinpoche's Radical Retreat and Initial Struggles
Mingyur Rinpoche's Near-Death Experience and Bardo Training
Bardos as Continuous States of Mind in Daily Life
The Distinction Between Letting Go and Giving Up
The Meaning of 'In Love with the World'
Human Nature: Love, Violence, and Ignorance
Specifics of Mingyur Rinpoche's Near-Death Event
6 Key Concepts
Dying Before You Die
This concept refers to letting go of attachments such as status, money, possessions, and achievements before one's physical death. It is a practice aimed at liberation from these worldly ties, which one will be forced to relinquish upon dying anyway.
Wandering Retreat
A traditional practice among meditation masters, particularly in Tibetan Buddhism, where instead of staying in a monastery, practitioners wander through streets and forests. During this retreat, they live like mendicants, often begging for food and sleeping in caves, to deepen their spiritual practice.
Nature of Mind Meditation
A specific type of meditation that involves repeatedly asking introspective questions like 'where is your mind?' or 'what is hearing?' The goal is to look deeply into one's mind, familiarize oneself with its workings, and uncover deeper layers of awareness beyond conventional understanding.
Enlightenment Experiences vs. Enlightenment
Glimpses of emptiness, non-duality, or no-self are considered 'enlightenment experiences' but are not synonymous with full enlightenment. True enlightenment implies a sustained, unwavering, and immutable steadiness of mind, which is a state very few individuals are believed to achieve.
Bardos
In Tibetan Buddhism, Bardos are a set of teachings concerning death and dying, often colloquially understood as 'in-between' states. They encompass various stages, such as the Bardos of this life, the Bardos of dying, and the Bardo between physical life and rebirth. Mingyur Rinpoche extends this to describe continuous states of mind experienced daily, where every moment is a beginning and an end.
Letting Go vs. Giving Up
Letting go involves releasing attachment to things like status, ego-driven self-perceptions, or outcomes, which can lead to greater freedom and new possibilities. This is distinct from 'giving up' one's ambitions or effectiveness in the world; rather, it's about removing the restrictive and constricting quality of attachment itself.
8 Questions Answered
It refers to the practice of letting go of attachments to status, money, possessions, and achievements while still alive, rather than being forced to release them at the moment of physical death.
It's a practice that involves repeatedly asking questions like 'where is your mind?' to encourage deep introspection and familiarize oneself with the mind beyond its superficial, conventional understanding.
It was founded in 1991 out of a need for an independent Buddhist magazine that could openly discuss scandals and issues within the Buddhist community, which community-based papers at the time censored.
Glimpses of emptiness, non-duality, or no-self are considered enlightenment experiences, but not full enlightenment. True enlightenment implies a sustained, unwavering steadiness of mind that is rarely achieved.
Bardos are teachings about death and dying, referring to 'in-between' states like the stages of life, dying, and the period between lives. Mingyur Rinpoche teaches that Bardos can also be understood as continuous states of mind we experience daily, with every moment being a beginning and an end, a birth and a death.
Letting go means releasing the attachment to outcomes, titles, or fixed ideas of self, which can reduce misery and open up new possibilities. It is not about abandoning ambition or giving up on activities, but rather removing the restrictive, sticky quality of attachment that limits one's capacity.
It refers to Mingyur Rinpoche's experience during his near-death state, where he felt the entire world as love, characterized by a complete absence of ego, self-consciousness, and a profound sense of acceptance.
He ate something very poisonous while begging for food, leading to extreme vomiting and diarrhea, which caused severe dehydration.
26 Actionable Insights
1. Release All Attachments
Identify and release all forms of attachment, whether to status, possessions, or even concepts like poverty, as these attachments express and entrap the ego. This process allows for a different level of being to flourish.
2. Distinguish Letting Go from Giving Up
Understand that ’letting go’ means releasing attachment to outcomes or fixed ideas, not abandoning your goals or activities. The problem lies in the attachment itself, not the pursuit of ambition.
3. Quiet Mind to Connect with Love
Reduce the dominance of the thinking and intellectual mind to uncover your inherent loving nature. When conceptual thought drains out, you can access a hidden, fundamental state of love and acceptance.
4. Loosen Fixed Self-Perception
Challenge your fixed ideas of who you are by continuously working with the sense of continuity and change in all situations. This practice can loosen the mind’s rigid perceptions and free you from feeling stuck.
5. Perceive Daily Birth and Death
View everyday experiences as continuous cycles of ‘dying, changing, and being reborn.’ This perspective, seeing bardos as states of mind throughout the day, can reduce the fear of physical death.
6. Focus on Activity, Not Validation
When performing tasks, focus purely on the activity itself rather than on how it will make you look or what external validation it will bring. This allows for greater effectiveness and reduces the misery caused by attachment.
7. Investigate Illusion of Self
Through sustained meditation, investigate the illusion of a fixed ‘self’ or ’thinker’ behind your thoughts. The aim is to realize that consciousness is ’empty of self,’ meaning there is no permanent, independent entity at its core.
8. Take Responsibility for Suffering
Recognize that you are creating your own suffering and possess the capacity to liberate yourself from it, rather than blaming others. This understanding is a critical first step toward working with emotional difficulties.
9. Practice Nature of Mind Meditation
Engage in ’nature of mind’ meditation by repeatedly asking yourself, ‘Where is your mind?’ This practice aims to familiarize yourself with your mind beyond its surface-level activity and can bring specificity to your meditation.
10. Inquire into Mind’s Nature
Ask yourself profound questions like ‘What color is your mind?’, ‘How big is your mind?’, ‘Where does it come from?’, and ‘Where does it go?’ to explore and become more familiar with the deeper aspects of your consciousness.
11. Investigate Sensory Experience
When experiencing sensory input, such as hearing noises, ask yourself, ‘What is hearing?’ or ‘Who is hearing these noises?’ The act of looking for an answer and not finding a fixed entity can be a healing and insightful practice.
12. Address Obsessive Thinking with Meditation
If your mind is driving you crazy with obsessive, unpleasant thoughts, turn to meditation practice. It offers an alternative to unconstructive rumination and can provide hope and optimism.
13. Practice ‘Remembering’ to Wake Up
Engage in mindfulness as a practice of ‘remembering’ or ‘recollecting’ to wake up from denial and forgetfulness, especially regarding difficult truths like impermanence.
14. Reflect on Daily Beginnings and Endings
In your daily activities, pause to ask ‘Where does it start? Where does it end?’ This practice helps absorb the concept of continuous change and transformation, loosening fixed ideas about yourself and your experiences.
15. Practice Breath as Birth and Death
Use your breath as a continuous practice of recognizing beginning and ending, birth and death. Each inhale can be seen as a rebirth, and each exhale as a death, fostering a sense of continuous change.
16. Practice Letting Go to Foster Openness
Consciously practice letting go in small moments, like releasing a breath, to cultivate new possibilities, greater curiosity, and acceptance of what is present. This helps break habitual mental programs.
17. Reframe Small Endings as Grieving
Apply the concept of grieving and letting go to everyday ’endings,’ like finishing a book or a project. This shift in perspective allows you to be more open to new experiences and reduces attachment to what has passed.
18. Re-evaluate Enlightenment Concept
Challenge the idea of enlightenment as a static, immutable state. Instead, embrace the understanding that everything is changeable and transitory, applying this perspective even to spiritual attainment.
19. Distinguish Glimpses from Enlightenment
Understand that brief ’enlightenment experiences’ or ‘glimpses’ are not the same as sustained enlightenment. True enlightenment requires a deep, acquired steadiness of mind beyond fleeting insights.
20. Adjust Expectations of Practice
Understand that spiritual practices like Buddhism will not solve all your problems permanently, as new challenges and circumstances will always arise. This perspective helps manage expectations and reduces disillusionment.
21. Seek Spiritual Guidance
Consider seeking a spiritual teacher or guru for guidance in your practice, as Helen found her practice was not where she wanted it to be without one.
22. Overcome Fear of Practice
If you have fears or misunderstandings about spiritual practice or teachers, recognize that these can be overcome over time. Helen took 10 years to move past her initial fears and begin practicing.
23. Practice Loving-Kindness Realistically
When practicing loving-kindness meditation, send wishes like ‘may you be safe, healthy, happy, and live with ease,’ even to those struggling. If your mind argues, simply note the thought and return to the wishes, aiming for the best possible state given current circumstances, not unrealistic fantasies.
24. Undertake a Wandering Retreat
Consider undertaking a ‘wandering retreat’ by moving through streets and forests, begging for food, and living in unconventional ways. This practice, traditionally done by meditation masters, challenges attachments and deepens practice in real-world conditions.
25. Create Independent Discussion Platforms
When facing difficult or controversial issues within a community, create independent platforms (like Tricycle Magazine) to discuss them openly, own the narrative, and place them in a larger, sympathetic context.
26. Subscribe to Life After Suicide
Subscribe to Dr. Jen Ashton’s podcast, ‘Life After Suicide,’ to hear discussions about grief and coping with loss.
6 Key Quotes
Dying before you die, which is not morbid. It's about letting go of attachments, letting go of status, money, possessions, achievements, whatever.
Dan Harris
I think that having some alternative, knowing that there was, knowing, knowing that there were alternatives to what I was doing with my mind was critical and was very encouraging and gave me, gave me a lot of hope and optimism.
Helen Tworkov
I think at the end of the day, very few people get there or at least among people that we know or have known or know of, maybe a few, but not so many.
Helen Tworkov
Letting go does not mean giving up.
Mingyur Rinpoche (as quoted by Helen Tworkov)
It's the attachment that, that, that creates fixity around who we think we are. It's the attachment that reduces and constricts and limits our capacity for exploring new possibilities.
Helen Tworkov
Every breath is a death. Every breath is a rebirth.
Mingyur Rinpoche (as quoted by Helen Tworkov)