The Opposite of Depression | Samantha Boardman
Dr. Samantha Boardman, a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, discusses positive psychiatry and vitality, the opposite of depression. She outlines strategies, including the "three C's" (connections, contributing, challenging), to handle the daily grind and build resilience.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Depression and Positive Psychiatry
Dr. Boardman's Journey to Positive Psychiatry
Defining Positive Psychiatry and its Distinction from Toxic Positivity
The Value of Negative Emotions and Emo Diversity
Understanding Vitality and its Opposites
The Three C's of Vitality: Connections, Contribution, Challenge
The Importance of Identifying and Aligning with Your Values
Strategies for Deliberate Connections and Meaningful Socializing
Interrupting Rumination through Self-Distancing and Emulation
The Fluidity of Self and the Role of Values
The Power of Contribution and Other-Help
Embracing Challenge and Desirable Difficulty through Hobbies
Overcoming Inertia and Lowering Activation Energy
Understanding and Accepting 'Ugly Coping'
Normalizing Challenge and Failure for Growth
Medication's Role in Positive Psychiatry
9 Key Concepts
Positive Psychiatry
A branch of psychiatry that focuses on building what's strong in patients' lives and helping them find wellness within illness, rather than solely addressing pathologies. It's about orienting towards strengths and applying them, not about 'toxic positivity' or ignoring negative emotions.
Salutogenesis
The creation of health, as opposed to pathogenesis which is the study of disease. It's a focus on the origins and maintenance of well-being, rather than just the origins of illness.
Vitality
An emotional and physical sense that one is ready for anything, representing an everyday ability to thrive. It's described as the opposite of depression and is built through deliberate actions, connections, and participation.
Emo Diversity
The ability to hold and experience multiple emotions simultaneously, such as happiness and sadness, or finding humor within difficulty. It encourages a nuanced understanding of emotional experiences beyond simple binary classifications.
Insight Imperialism
The idea that having an amazing insight or a 'light bulb moment' will automatically lead to behavior change and feeling better. The episode suggests that insight alone often doesn't lead to action or sustained improvement.
Behavior Activation
A therapeutic approach focused on the principle that 'what you do changes how you feel.' It emphasizes taking action that reflects one's values and goals, rather than waiting for feelings to change first.
Hassles vs. Uplifts
Hassles are the daily grind and minor annoyances that erode well-being, like lost keys or traffic jams. Uplifts are the opposite, positive experiences that can undo the grinding effect of hassles, helping to balance everyday stress.
Self-Distancing
A technique to interrupt rumination by gaining perspective on one's situation. It involves imagining the problem from an external viewpoint, such as advising a friend, considering one's future self, or adopting a 'fly on the wall' perspective.
Desirable Difficulty
Engaging in activities that are challenging and require effort but are also rewarding and meaningful, such as hobbies. These activities build resilience and vitality, contrasting with 'effort-sparing' passive leisure.
8 Questions Answered
Positive psychiatry focuses on building strengths and fostering well-being, not just fixing problems, and is grounded in scientific data. It differs from 'positive thinking' by acknowledging the value of negative emotions and avoiding 'toxic positivity' that dismisses genuine struggles.
Vitality is an emotional and physical sense of readiness for anything, representing an everyday ability to thrive. Its three core components (the 'three C's') are connections to others, contributing to something beyond oneself, and feeling positively challenged.
Identifying your values creates a buffer zone and scaffolding, empowering you to feel like you're walking your own path and mobilizing yourself even when things go wrong. It provides sustained uplift and a sense of meaning in your actions.
Focus on meaningful conversations over small talk, give others your full attention by putting away devices, and offer 'invisible support' through small, thoughtful gestures. Also, practice active constructive responding by asking loved ones to 'tell me more' about their positive experiences.
Interrupt rumination by going outdoors for at least 20 minutes, or by practicing self-distancing techniques. These include asking how you'd advise a friend in the same situation, considering what your future self would do, or channeling someone you admire.
Hobbies provide 'desirable difficulty' by stretching you in meaningful ways, allowing you to learn and grow without the pressure of productivity or turning it into a side hustle. Engaging in them builds a reservoir of resilience and vitality.
Start small by identifying one tiny thing that might give you an uplift and lower the activation energy for it (e.g., putting on workout clothes in the morning). Enlist a friend for accountability (the 'flake factor') and use mental contrasting (WHOOP) to plan for obstacles.
Ugly coping refers to less-than-ideal ways people deal with difficult times, like getting drunk or eating a bucket of ice cream. The episode suggests that these moments of 'ugly coping' are part of being human and should be met with flexibility and acceptance.
12 Actionable Insights
1. Identify and Align Your Values
Reflect on 3-5 things you value most and what you stand for. Then, track how you spend your time (using a pie chart or similar) and actively seek to create more overlap between your values and your daily actions, as this builds a buffer zone, empowers you, and provides sustained uplift.
2. Cultivate Meaningful Connections
Be deliberate about your everyday connections, prioritizing meaningful conversations and shared experiences over superficial small talk or large, less intimate gatherings. Giving full attention by putting away your phone and offering ‘invisible support’ (small favors) fosters connection and provides a powerful uplift.
3. Engage in Challenging Hobbies
Dedicate free time to hobbies that stretch you, where you learn something, or feel you’re growing, rather than solely engaging in passive leisure. These ‘desirable difficulties’ build a reservoir of resilience and vitality, even if you’re only mediocre at them.
4. Practice Emotional Granularity
Instead of broad labels like ‘happy’ or ‘sad,’ strive to be as specific and precise as possible about your emotions, almost putting ‘police tape’ around them. This allows you to act on your feelings and feel less overwhelmed, enhancing the richness and nuance of your experience.
5. Actively Contribute Beyond Self
Seek opportunities to add value in ways that feel meaningful and purposeful, such as volunteering or doing favors for others. Research shows that spending on others or giving back provides a sustained ‘warm glow of giving’ and is a powerful antidote to stress.
6. Lower Activation Energy
To overcome inertia and make desired actions easier, reduce the effort required to start. For example, put on workout clothes in the morning, buy stamps to have them ready, or place sneakers by the door to facilitate going for a walk.
7. Use WHOOP for Goal Setting
Apply the WHOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) to bridge the intention-action gap. Clearly define your Wish, visualize the positive Outcome, identify the Obstacle, and then create a concrete Plan to overcome it, helping you operationalize your goals.
8. Interrupt Rumination Effectively
To disrupt repetitive negative thoughts, spend 20 minutes outdoors or look at something green, as nature is a powerful interrupter. Additionally, practice self-distancing by asking how you’d advise a friend in the same situation, what your future self would suggest, or what an admired person would do.
9. Channel Admired Role Models
When facing a challenge or wanting to embody a better version of yourself, think of someone you admire and ask, ‘What would they do in this moment?’ This emulation helps you tap into and embody strengths you already possess, getting closer to your ideal self.
10. Normalize Failure and Challenge
Adopt a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth and normalizes failure as a part of trying. Asking ‘What did you fail at today?’ can help shift perspective, encouraging resilience and the development of skills to tackle difficulties.
11. Track Mood Before/After Activities
To motivate yourself to repeat beneficial activities, track how you feel immediately before and after engaging in them. A visual reminder, like a chart on the refrigerator, can help you recognize the positive impact and overcome inertia on subsequent days.
12. Accept ‘Ugly Coping’ Moments
Be flexible and accepting of moments when you or others cope in less-than-ideal ways, such as getting drunk or overeating. Recognizing these as part of being human allows for a more compassionate view rather than expecting constant graceful coping.
7 Key Quotes
Sometimes I just dread seeing you. All we ever do is talk about what's wrong. And, you know, sometimes I'm even having a good day, and I have to think, what should I complain about? What can I bring in there to vent about?
Patient (recounted by Dr. Samantha Boardman)
The opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's vitality.
Andrew Solomon (quoted by Dr. Samantha Boardman)
It's not the mountains ahead that get you, it's the pebbles in your shoe.
Muhammad Ali (quoted by Dr. Samantha Boardman)
Any idiot can handle a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that really wears us down.
Chekhov (quoted by Dr. Samantha Boardman)
Every time you're looking at your phone, you're unsharing it.
Dr. Samantha Boardman
Sometimes I think wearing another hat and especially thinking of versions of ourselves that we'd like to be or embodying the strengths that people have and we admire is really a way to elevate us and get us closer to the version of ourselves that we would like to embody.
Dr. Samantha Boardman
If you're not failing, then you're not trying.
Sarah Blakely (recounted by Dr. Samantha Boardman)
2 Protocols
Active Constructive Responding (ACR)
Dr. Samantha Boardman- Pause for a second when with a loved one.
- Say the three words: 'Tell me more.'
- Give them the platform to tell you about what's meaningful to them.
Mental Contrasting (WHOOP)
Dr. Samantha Boardman (attributing Gabriel Oettingen)- W: What is your Wish? (e.g., 'I'd like to look less at my phone tomorrow.')
- O: What is the Outcome? (How would you feel once you did that?)
- O: What's the Obstacle? (What's getting in the way of you doing that thing?)
- P: What's your Plan? (How will you overcome the obstacle?)