The Other Side of the Pandemic | Rev. angel Kyodo williams
Rev. angel Kyodo williams, a Zen teacher and author, explores navigating the COVID-19 pandemic, the disutility of guilt, and reclaiming 'love' from cliché. She emphasizes the inseparability of meditation and social issues, arguing that inner change is vital for outer change.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Coping with Pandemic Tumult and Personal Tension
The Disutility of Guilt and the Relief for Earth
Prognostication: Post-Pandemic Societal Change
Inequity Exposed by the Virus and the 'Neutral People'
Tonglen Meditation: Sending and Taking Suffering
The Inseparability of Dharma, Meditation, and Politics
Distinguishing Zen from Dharma
Defining Liberation: Freedom from Mind's Fabrications
Guilt as Avoidance of Pain and the Nature of Compassion
Reclaiming and Expanding the Meaning of Love
Cultivating 'Becoming Love' Through Practice
Understanding Apathy and Violence vs. Our Fundamental Nature
Navigating Interpersonal Relationships During Intense Times
The Mainstreaming of Meditation and 'McMindfulness'
9 Key Concepts
Dynamic Tension
This describes the experience of holding very opposite feelings simultaneously, such as personal comfort and global suffering, without resolving them. It's a state of being present to conflicting realities.
Guilt
Guilt is presented as a response to the feeling that an experience 'shouldn't be the case,' often making the situation about oneself rather than directly feeling the pain of others. It acts as a tightening up against direct suffering, preventing compassion.
Dharma
Dharma is understood as the comprehensive path of life and the way one meets the truth of unfolding experience, both near and far. It is distinguished from specific religious or spiritual belief systems like Zen or Buddhism, which are seen as particular lenses or 'flavors' of this broader truth.
Liberation
In a spiritual context, liberation means being able to distinguish between raw experience and how one thinks or feels about that experience. It's freedom from the 'tyranny of the mind's fabrications' and the ability to choose how to respond to life as it is, rather than being owned by thoughts or emotions.
Compassion
Compassion is defined as feeling with pain, specifically accompanied by a desire to be helpful. It is an ennobling state that deepens one's connection with humanity, even if one cannot immediately 'fix' the suffering.
Dukkha (Contraction)
Translated in modern terms as 'contraction,' dukkha refers to the experience of getting small, withdrawing, or tucking oneself away into numbness. It signifies moving away from life rather than being present to it.
Becoming Love
This concept describes the state of embodying the principle of love, moving beyond narrow definitions like romantic or familial love to an expansive capacity for connection with all beings. It suggests that through practice, one can become a 'walking embodiment' of this principle.
Core Conditioning vs. Fundamental Nature
Humans have two sets of conditioning: one for survival (avoiding pain, grasping pleasure, resisting difference) and another for thriving (love, connection, care). While survival instincts can lead to unskillful behaviors like apathy or violence, these are often rooted in a corrupted form of love, such as protecting one's family or way of life.
Anger as a Secondary Emotion
Anger is often a knock-on effect of a more fundamental emotion, such as grief or a deep yearning to be seen, heard, or connected. It arises when one's needs are not met or when one feels their existence is threatened or nullified.
10 Questions Answered
She experiences a 'dynamic tension,' feeling both blessed by her comfortable circumstances and deeply aware of the suffering of others, particularly in her hometown of New York.
No, guilt is generally not useful; it's a response to a situation that one feels 'shouldn't be the case' and serves to tighten one up against the direct feeling of pain, making the experience about oneself rather than fostering compassion.
Reverend Angel believes some individuals will change indelibly, but the 'muscle memory' of comfort and privilege is deep, suggesting an immediate return to old habits. However, she trusts it will make a lasting impression, changing debates about what's possible and exposing inequities.
The virus, while knowing no borders, flows along existing societal structures, disproportionately burdening vulnerable communities. This lays bare the myth that our systems are even and highlights the vast divide between the 'haves' and 'have-nots'.
Reverend Angel views them as inseparable; her political outlook is informed by meditation. She believes facing reality, including social issues, is part of one's practice, and inner change is necessary for outer change.
Love is an expansive, persistent, and powerful human capacity for connection that can be felt in any moment, even with strangers. It's about becoming a 'walking embodiment' of this principle, allowing oneself to feel with others.
Consistent practice creates a feedback loop where the brain learns what feels better (e.g., connection over distraction). This builds momentum towards 'being love,' making it a more habitual state, even if not perpetual.
Humans operate with two sets of core conditioning: one for survival (avoiding pain, grasping pleasure, resisting difference) and one for thriving (love, connection). Apathy and violence often stem from corrupted forms of love, such as a desire to protect oneself or one's group, rather than being our essential nature.
It's counterintuitive but crucial to prioritize self-care to create more space and capacity. Be kind to others under strain, recognize that acting out with loved ones is often a plea to be seen, and find words to communicate one's needs and yearnings.
Yes, the widespread seeking of meditation indicates a yearning for self-connection and self-awareness. Reverend Angel believes that consistent practice, regardless of initial motivation, will ultimately lead individuals to their true nature of love and connection, fostering an 'untenability with imbalance' in themselves and the world.
25 Actionable Insights
1. Inner Change Fuels Outer Change
Understand that true societal transformation (‘outer change’) is dependent on individual inner transformation (‘interchange’). This perspective is crucial for effectively addressing social issues and bringing about meaningful change.
2. Seek Liberation from Mind’s Tyranny
Work towards liberation by distinguishing between pure experience and the mind’s fabrications (thoughts, emotions, social constructs) about that experience. This frees you from being conflated with or tyrannized by these mental constructs.
3. Distinguish Experience from Reaction
Develop the ability to differentiate between raw experience and your subsequent reactions or responses to it. This distinction grants you choice in how you engage with life, acting from a place free from delusion.
4. Avoid Self-Centered Guilt
Recognize and avoid dwelling in guilt, as it is a useless response that tightens against the direct feeling of suffering and makes the experience about oneself. Guilt prevents true compassion and direct experience of pain.
5. Feel Others’ Suffering Directly
Allow yourself to directly feel the suffering of others without the mediation of guilt. This direct engagement with pain is the true source from which compassion arises.
6. Cultivate Compassionate Helpfulness
Cultivate compassion, which involves feeling with pain and inherently includes a desire to be helpful. This leads to an ennobling and empowering state that deepens human connection.
7. Embody Expansive Love
Cultivate an expansive capacity to connect and feel love for others in simple, everyday interactions. This allows you to become a ‘walking embodiment of the principle of love’ and deepen your humanity.
8. Practice Momentary Love
Practice loving people in simple, transient interactions, such as at a grocery counter, without needing to form a lasting relationship. This helps you experience real connection and become an embodiment of love.
9. Tone Nervous System for Love
Actively tone your nervous system to be able to feel and experience love in the moment without needing to attach to or ’take anything with you’ from the interaction. This allows for a real, felt, vibrant, and alive connection.
10. Build Momentum Towards Love
Engage in consistent practice to create a positive feedback loop that gradually builds momentum towards ‘being love’ more frequently. This helps shift from habitual distractions to more abiding states of connection and love.
11. Optimize for Better-Feeling Actions
Consciously choose behaviors that genuinely ‘feel better’ (e.g., connecting with people) over habitual distractions (e.g., checking social media). The brain learns and optimizes for these more fulfilling actions over time, especially when fueled by formal practice.
12. Integrate Meditation Daily
Thread and weave meditation and mindfulness throughout your daily life, rather than confining it to formal sessions. This maintains a continuous practice and allows you to apply meditative insights to all experiences.
13. Practice Tonglen Meditation
Engage in Tonglen meditation, also known as ‘sending and taking,’ which involves exchanging oneself for others. This practice cultivates acute awareness of others’ situations by taking on their suffering and sending positive energy.
14. Tonglen Breathing Technique
In Tonglen practice, on the in-breath, visualize breathing in someone’s suffering; on the out-breath, visualize breathing out the wish for them to be free from that suffering. This specific technique fosters compassion and connection.
15. Wish Awakening for Others
Send wishes for awakening and presence to those who seem to be on ‘autopilot’ or unaware. The aim is for them to become more present to what’s happening around them, without needing to experience personal devastation.
16. Prioritize Clear Self-Care
Be clear about your personal self-care needs (e.g., more walks, less screen time) and commit to fulfilling them. This creates more inner space and capacity, preventing frayed nerves and reducing reactivity in relationships.
17. Practice Kindness Under Strain
Make a conscious effort to be kind to others, especially during stressful periods like a pandemic. Remember that everyone is experiencing different forms of strain, which aids in navigating interpersonal relationships.
18. Communicate Core Yearnings
Acknowledge your fundamental human yearning to ‘see and be seen’ and to have your needs met. Then, find words to communicate these needs effectively to others, rather than harboring unmet needs.
19. Ask for Your Needs
Ask directly for what you need (e.g., a massage) rather than feeling guilty or undeserving of it, or harboring unmet needs. This clarifies communication and prevents needs from festering.
20. Embrace Your Own Complexity
Become comfortable with your own complexity, weirdness, and strangeness through self-acceptance. This self-acceptance allows you to be more accepting and capable of relating to the diverse nature of other people.
21. Maintain Consistent Practice
Commit to a consistent meditation practice, regardless of your initial motivation (e.g., anxiety, self-improvement). This consistency will ultimately guide you to your true nature of love and connection.
22. Reflect on Old Habits
Use periods of ‘compulsory retreat’ (like a lockdown) to reflect on past habits and their collective impact on the environment and society. The goal is to lose the muscle memory of old ways and gain awareness.
23. Connect with Life’s Truth
Seek to connect with the fundamental truth of your life and unfolding experience, independent of specific spiritual traditions or belief systems. This involves meeting reality as it is.
24. Be Present Without Fixing
Presence yourself fully to life as it is, without the expectation or imagination that your role is to fix every problem or situation you encounter. This helps avoid contraction and withdrawal.
25. Join Daily Live Meditation
Participate in the 10% Happier Live sessions every weekday at 3 PM Eastern/noon Pacific. This offers a quick sanity break and a five-minute guided meditation suitable for absolute beginners or seasoned pros.
9 Key Quotes
without inner change, there can be no outer change.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
Guilt is a tightening up against the direct feeling of the suffering of the pain.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
In a way, guilt just makes it about you.
Dan Harris
Liberation is the will force, if you will, to actually experience life as it is.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
We can just love them right there at the grocery counter. And that be it. And then we become love.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
It feels better to talk to the woman at the checkout counter than it does to check Twitter.
Dan Harris
The fact that it feels better is telling of what our essential nature is.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
I don't really care what, how people come to meditation, frankly.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
If you trust, as I do, that at the very bottom of it, that our fundamental nature is one of love and connection... where you arrive is your own true nature.
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams
1 Protocols
Tonglen Practice (Sending and Taking)
Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams- On the in-breath, breathe in somebody's suffering.
- On the out-breath, breathe out the wish for them to be free from suffering.