1. Embrace “Good-ish” Self-Concept
Adopt the “good-ish” self-concept, recognizing that you are a mix of good and bad, rather than purely good or bad. This mindset reduces defensiveness to feedback and fosters a growth mindset, allowing for continuous improvement without feeling fundamentally threatened.
2. Question Anxiety’s Usefulness
When caught in an anxiety spiral, ask yourself, “Is this useful?” This helps differentiate constructive anguish from useless rumination, allowing you to redirect your thoughts and prevent being owned by your mind.
3. Motivate Actions with Love
Reframe your motivation for self-improvement activities, like exercise or meditation, by connecting them to love. Do these things to become stronger and happier, not just for yourself, but also to enable you to make other people stronger and happier.
4. Believe in Brain Trainability
Understand that your brain and mind are trainable, meaning you are not stuck with undesirable personality traits or limitations. Embrace the possibility of change through consistent practices and experiences, as improvement is always possible.
5. Count Self-Judgmental Thoughts
When feeling down on yourself, consciously count your self-judgmental thoughts. This practice helps to expose their ridiculousness, sapping them of their power and allowing you to laugh at their sheer volume.
Delete social media platforms like Instagram if they consistently cause feelings of envy and unhappiness, even if you have an otherwise good life. This removes a reliable source of negative comparison and angst.
7. Seek Micro-Interactions for Happiness
Actively engage in brief, positive “micro-interactions” with strangers throughout your day, such as baristas or dry cleaners. These small exchanges provide little hits of dopamine and contribute to overall well-being.
8. Practice Silent Meditation Retreats
Engage in silent meditation retreats, even for 10-14 days, to observe the mind’s chaotic nature and impermanence of feelings. This practice helps you become less controlled by your thoughts and emotions, fostering resilience against loneliness and other difficult states.
9. Reflect on Five Impermanence Truths
Twice daily, recall the five truths: your body will grow old, get sick, and die; everything cherished will be lost; and only your actions are truly your possessions. This practice grounds you in reality and highlights the importance of ethical conduct.
10. Toggle Between Reality Levels
Practice toggling between relative truth (our consensual reality) and ultimate truth (the impermanent, illusory nature of things) to gain perspective. This skill helps you not get stuck in rigid stories about yourself or the world, understanding that both levels of reality are simultaneously true.
11. Investigate Feelings of Revulsion
When you feel revulsion towards a practice or idea, investigate that feeling rather than dismissing it. Often, things initially rejected can later be embraced and lead to personal growth.