Thupten Jinpa, The Importance of Compassion - LIVE!

May 9, 2018 Episode Page ↗
Overview

Dan Harris interviews Thubten Jinpa, the Dalai Lama's translator and a monk, about the secular uses of compassion meditation and its potential to address societal issues like school shootings. They discuss integrating compassion with knowledge and intention for personal and collective transformation.

At a Glance
28 Insights
1h 27m Duration
15 Topics
10 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Introduction to Compassion and Meditation for Older Adults

Meditation Postures and Loving-Kindness Practice

The Role of Compassion in Preventing Societal Tragedies

Compassion in the Political Landscape and Public Discourse

Defining Compassion and its Self-Interested Benefits

Addressing Misconceptions about Meditation's Impact on Behavior

The Three Pillars of Transformation: Knowledge, Intention, and Meditation

The Importance of Acting Out Compassion in Daily Life

Understanding 'Idiot Compassion' and the Challenge of Self-Compassion

Meditation, Ego, and Self-Awareness

The Universal Nature of Suffering and Empathy

Distinguishing Empathy from Compassion in Caregiving

Rethinking Fundamental Emotions and Tailored Meditation Approaches

Self-Compassion, Self-Worth, and Healthy Ambition

Addressing Violence in Buddhist-Majority Regions

Brain Plasticity

The brain's ability to change and adapt throughout a person's life, contradicting older dogma that brain changes stopped in early adulthood. This means skills like patience, calm, and compassion can be trained at any age.

Four Classical Meditation Postures

Traditionally, meditation can be practiced in four main physical positions: sitting (cross-legged or in a chair), standing still, walking (a slow, attentive movement in a small space), and lying down (typically on one's back, though side/fetal position can also be used).

Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta)

A practice where one systematically envisions different individuals (self, benefactor, friend, neutral person, difficult person, all beings) and silently repeats phrases wishing them happiness, health, and safety. It aims to train the mind to cultivate a more congenial attitude towards others.

Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

A process of teaching children to be more aware of their own emotions, recognize when they are frustrated or dysregulated, and use simple techniques like taking a breath to exercise restraint. It is seen as a long-term strategy for fostering emotional intelligence.

Wise Selfishness (Dalai Lama's concept)

The idea that pursuing one's own self-interest wisely leads to compassion. Since self-interest is a fundamental human drive, being compassionate is presented as the most effective way to achieve personal meaning, joy, and gratification.

Compassion vs. Pity

Compassion involves identification with another person's suffering, fostering a respectful connection. Pity, in contrast, tends to look down on the suffering individual, placing oneself in a superior position.

Three Factors for Transformation (Buddhist perspective)

True personal transformation, leading to changes in behavior, is not solely a function of meditation. It requires combining knowledge (a new way of seeing the world), conscious intention setting (priming daily behavior), and meditation (internalizing new perspectives and regulating emotions).

Idiot Compassion (Misplaced Compassion)

A term used in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition to describe kindness that is not combined with wisdom. It implies giving in or being soft when a situation requires standing up or setting boundaries, potentially leading to negative outcomes.

Meta-Awareness

The skill of stepping back and observing one's own thoughts and emotions as they arise in the 'theater of the mind.' This ability allows individuals to disengage from habitual thought patterns, such as rumination, and prevents them from being carried away by negative mental states.

Empathy vs. Compassion

Empathy is primarily an emotional resonance, feeling for someone and focusing on their problem. Compassion, while starting with empathy, moves beyond it to include a proactive desire for a solution, leading to a more empowered state of mind and a focus on what can be done to help.

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Can meditation benefit older adults, especially those 'set in their ways'?

Yes, meditation has been shown to be helpful with age-related cognitive decline and may be useful in staving off dementia and Alzheimer's. The brain is plastic and trainable at any age, suggesting it's never too late to start and can have a salutary effect.

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Is there a 'correct' physical posture for meditation, or can one meditate in any position, like the fetal position?

There are four classical postures for meditation (sitting, standing, walking, lying down), and while lying down is usually on the back, meditating in the fetal position is perfectly acceptable. The position is not hugely important; what matters is training the mind in the right direction.

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Can teaching compassion meditation prevent tragedies like school shootings?

While compassion meditation and training are long-term strategies and not immediate solutions, they can help by encouraging societal values that pay more attention to struggling individuals and set a clear bar for expected behavior within communities.

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How can compassion be applied to deeply divided political discourse?

Compassion encourages moving beyond surface differences to understand the underlying reasons why people hold opposing views, which often stem from similar basic needs or values. This approach helps prevent hateful reactions and fosters common ground.

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Does meditation alone make someone a 'better person' or change behavior?

Not necessarily. Traditional understanding suggests that transformation requires a combination of knowledge (a new way of seeing things), conscious intention setting, and meditation (internalizing new perspectives), rather than meditation being a panacea on its own.

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How does compassion meditation actually work to change a person?

Compassion meditation is a relational exercise and a form of simulation that needs to be reinforced by acting it out in everyday life. This two-way influence—meditation making one aware of opportunities for kindness, and acting out kindness reinforcing the meditation—is crucial for real-world behavioral change.

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Does being compassionate mean you'll be taken advantage of or become 'soft'?

No, compassion should be combined with wisdom, avoiding 'idiot compassion.' It means giving others the benefit of the doubt and understanding their motivations, but also standing up for what's right without losing composure if intentional harm is present.

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Why is self-compassion often difficult for people, particularly in Western cultures, and why is it important?

Self-compassion can be challenging due to external definitions of self-worth and cultural aversion to self-focus. While compassion for others might be more fundamental, self-compassion is crucial for sustaining long-term compassion for others, preventing burnout, and fostering resilience during difficult times.

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Can one truly be compassionate without having experienced or understood suffering?

All human beings know suffering at a fundamental level, regardless of external success, making vulnerability to pain a powerful connector and basis for empathy. While specific details can deepen empathy, the core capacity to feel for others in need is universal.

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How can caregivers avoid 'compassion fatigue' when constantly providing care?

Science distinguishes empathy from compassion. Empathy is emotional resonance, focusing on the problem, which can lead to fatigue. Compassion, however, is a more empowered state that also focuses on solutions and proactive action, which can help prevent burnout and detachment.

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Is it true that negative emotions like hate are more fundamental or harder to control than positive emotions like kindness?

This idea is challenged; the impulse for nurturing, connection, and craving affection is argued to be as fundamental to human biology and social evolution as aggression. While brain regions for attention and emotion regulation develop later, the core emotional brain for empathy and compassion is fundamental.

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How can self-compassion be reconciled with societal pressures to push oneself and get ahead?

Genuine self-kindness is not self-indulgent but presupposes a healthy self-image and self-worth, defined internally as a human being, not just externally by achievements. It helps one learn from failures and compete positively, striving for one's best without beating oneself up or wishing harm on others.

1. Cultivate Desired Qualities as Skills

Recognize that qualities like patience, calm, gratitude, generosity, compassion, and self-awareness are skills that can be trained and developed, contradicting the notion that we cannot change.

2. Embrace Compassion as Life Skill

The science suggests that compassion is a life skill that can make you happier, healthier, and more successful, so don’t dismiss it.

3. Pursue Compassion as Wise Self-Interest

Engage in compassion as a form of wise self-interest, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama suggests it’s the path to a more meaningful and joyful life by living from a place of kindness.

4. Combine Knowledge, Intention, Meditation

For personal transformation, combine knowledge (seeing the world differently), conscious intention setting (priming instincts and daily values), and meditation (internalizing new perspectives and calming the mind).

5. Tap Reward System for Habits

Avoid relying solely on willpower for habit formation, and instead tap into the brain’s reward system by making desired behaviors pleasurable, which creates sustainable and abiding habits.

6. Cultivate Self-Compassion to Sustain Care

Develop a basic level of self-compassion to sustain long-term compassion for others, as without it, you risk burnout and resentment towards those you care for.

7. Practice Self-Kindness in Adversity

Develop genuine self-kindness rooted in a healthy self-image, especially during failures or disappointments, to learn from experiences rather than self-criticism, which helps maintain composure.

8. Define Self-Worth Internally

Cultivate a sense of self-worth defined internally, recognizing your inherent value as a human being, rather than relying solely on external achievements or perceptions, to foster a healthier self-image.

9. Cultivate Self-Awareness Through Meditation

Use meditation to quiet your mind and take a reflective standpoint, allowing you to step back, observe your thoughts and patterns, and disengage from habitual reactions, thereby increasing self-awareness.

10. Develop Meta-Awareness with Mindfulness

Practice modern mindfulness meditation to develop meta-awareness, the skill to step back and observe the contents of your mind without getting sucked into spiraling thoughts or emotions.

11. Start Meditating at Any Age

It’s never too late to start meditating, as the brain is plastic and trainable throughout all ages, suggesting it can have a beneficial effect on the aging brain and mind.

12. Meditate in Various Postures

Feel free to meditate in any of the four classical postures—sitting, standing, walking, or lying down—as the position is not hugely important if you are training your mind in the right direction.

13. Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

Systematically envision people (benefactor, self, friend, neutral, difficult, all beings) and silently repeat phrases like ‘may you be happy, may you be healthy’ to train the mind to have a more congenial attitude toward others, which science suggests can make you healthier.

14. Act Out Compassion Daily

To make compassion meditation effective, actively practice kindness in everyday life by seizing opportunities for compassionate action, which reinforces your meditation practice.

15. Leverage Joy for Sustained Motivation

Recognize that the joy derived from helping others sustains motivation for compassionate actions, as it makes you feel good and enhances your well-being, creating a positive feedback loop.

16. Set Daily Intentions

Set conscious intentions every morning to establish the tone for your day, helping you connect daily activities with your core values and desired behaviors.

17. Practice Gratitude Meditation

Regularly run through everything you are grateful for in your head, as this practice is incredibly helpful for cultivating a more relaxed state and counteracting the tendency to take things for granted.

18. Meditate in Fetal Position Before Sleep

Meditate in the fetal position as you’re going to sleep, as it can be a great way to fall asleep and continue your practice up until the last waking moments of every day.

19. Understand Opposing Views with Compassion

Use compassion to move beyond superficial differences and deeply understand why others hold opposing viewpoints, allowing you to connect on a basic human level and prevent hateful feelings.

20. Give Others Benefit of Doubt

Practice compassion by giving others the benefit of the doubt and refraining from immediate judgment, which allows for a more composed and understanding response to difficult situations.

21. Stand Up with Composure

If someone acts intentionally mean, stand up to them without losing your composure, understanding that their actions often stem from a place of pain.

22. Avoid Anger’s Poisoned Root

Recognize that while anger may offer momentary gratification, it ultimately has a ‘poisoned root’ that is tiring and harmful, making it better not to carry around hate.

23. Teach Children Social Emotional Learning

Teach children social emotional learning to help them become more aware of their emotions, recognize frustration or dysregulation, and use simple techniques like taking a breath to exercise restraint, which can make a huge difference.

24. Explicitly Value Compassion in Society

Make compassion an explicit societal value to set a clear behavioral standard, encouraging community members to act in particular ways and pay more attention to those who are struggling.

25. Integrate Compassion into Political Discourse

Actively bring compassion into political discourse to foster common ground, as it is a value claimed by both sides of the political spectrum and can provide a basis for people from different ideologies to come together.

26. Engage in Positive Competition

Engage in positive competition, motivated by a desire to bring out your best and contribute your full capabilities, rather than negative competition that involves undermining others.

27. Beware Religion as Identity Basis

Be wary of turning religion into a basis for national or ethnic identity, as this can be used to justify oppression and division, even if the original teachings are beautiful.

28. Speak Out Against Misused Teachings

Religious communities should speak up in a single voice against the misuse of their teachings to justify nationalism, ethnic division, or mistreatment of different communities.

Anger has a honeyed tip, but a poisoned root.

Thubten Jinpa (attributing to the Buddha)

If you can get 10 percent happier, what's the ceiling?

Dan Harris

The brain is trainable all along and all the way up through the ages.

Dan Harris

The mind is the mind no matter what position you're in. And if you're training it in the right direction... I'm not a big believer that the position is hugely important.

Dan Harris

If you want to be wise, selfish, compassion is the way to go.

Thubten Jinpa (attributing to His Holiness the Dalai Lama)

Compassion is an identification... Pity tends to look down. You put yourself in a superior place. Whereas compassion tends to be, you know, more respectful because you are identifying with the other person.

Thubten Jinpa

Just because you wear robes doesn't mean you meditate well.

Dan Harris

Buddhism cannot escape no matter how beautiful the actual teaching itself is, we humans society can turn it into a weapon that will be used in a negative way.

Thubten Jinpa

Loving-Kindness Meditation (General Practice)

Dan Harris
  1. Sit with eyes closed, back reasonably straight.
  2. Envision people systematically, usually starting with yourself.
  3. Move to a benefactor.
  4. Then a close friend.
  5. Then a neutral person (someone you see but overlook).
  6. Then a difficult person.
  7. Finally, everyone.
  8. In each case, repeat silently in your mind a set of happy phrases (e.g., 'may you be happy, may you be safe').

Tibetan Buddhist Daily Intention Setting and Review

Thubten Jinpa
  1. Set your intention in the morning, which sets the tone for the day.
  2. In the evening, quickly review your intentions to see if you were successful.

Stanford Compassion Cultivation Training (General Structure)

Thubten Jinpa
  1. Begin with mindfulness-type practice to settle the mind and learn basic meditation skills.
  2. Incorporate intention setting as an important part of the training.
  3. Include some understanding of basic human psychology.
over 25 years
Thubten Jinpa's duration as a monk His experience as a monk.
14-day
Trial period for the 10% Happier app Duration of the free trial for the meditation app.
3:30 AM
His Holiness the Dalai Lama's wake-up time His daily wake-up time, demonstrating discipline.
3 hours
His Holiness the Dalai Lama's daily meditation duration The amount of time he dedicates to meditation each morning.