Type A Nun, Mindful Parenting, and Natural Awareness, Diana Winston
Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's MARC, discusses her journey from Ivy League to Buddhist nun, emphasizing "natural awareness" as an antidote to striving in meditation. She also shares insights on mindful parenting and the critical need for qualified mindfulness teachers.
Deep Dive Analysis
18 Topic Outline
Introduction to Natural Awareness and Diana Winston's Journey
From Ivy League to Buddhist Nun in Burma
The Eight Worldly Winds and Diana's Meditation Breakthrough
Intensive Meditation and a Personal Breakdown in Burma
Discovering Natural Awareness and Zogchen Teachings
Understanding Awareness of Awareness: Three Perspectives
Guided Practice: Expanding Awareness and Noticing Space
The Spectrum of Awareness: Focused vs. Open Practices
Finding Guidance: The Role of Teachers and Coaching
Phrases for Cultivating Spacious, Effortless Awareness
The Shift to Self-Acceptance and Embodiment in Practice
Mindful Parenting: Challenges and Emotional Regulation
The Science of Labeling Emotions and Brain Activity
Teaching Meditation to Children: Modeling vs. Direct Instruction
UCLA Research on Mindfulness for ADHD and Kids
Addressing the Need for Qualified Mindfulness Teachers
Listener Q&A: Mindfulness and Emotional Detachment
Listener Q&A: Observing vs. Controlling the Breath
8 Key Concepts
Natural Awareness
This approach to meditation emphasizes that the mind is inherently present and good, and that grasping after awakening is a mistake. It involves resting the mind in its true nature, recognizing an inherent awareness that already exists without effort or striving.
Awareness of Awareness
Beyond being aware of objects like breath or thoughts, this concept involves turning attention to the awareness itself – that which is noticing everything. It can be experienced as the vast, open space in which everything is contained, as the 'knower' or 'noticer,' or as an intuitive sense of inherent presence.
Eight Worldly Winds
A Buddhist teaching describing eight changes or conditions that affect human life: praise and blame, gain and loss, fame and dishonor, pleasure and pain. The concept suggests viewing these experiences like the wind, depersonalizing them to reduce suffering caused by attachment or aversion.
Mahasi Style Noting
An intensive meditation practice where one makes a soft mental note of every arising experience (e.g., 'hearing,' 'seeing,' 'thinking,' 'in-breath,' 'out-breath'). It is known for developing sharp concentration but can be very goal-driven and effortful.
Glimpse Practices
Short, simple practices or phrases designed to help turn the mind towards a more open, spacious awareness at any moment during meditation or daily life. These are tools to facilitate a profound letting go and resting in awareness, such as 'effortless' or 'just this'.
Spectrum of Awareness Practices
The idea that meditation encompasses a range of practices, from very focused attention (like concentrating on the breath) to wide-open, spacious awareness. A skillful meditator can move between these different approaches, much like a camera using telephoto, regular, or panoramic lenses.
Disentangled Participation
A way of engaging with emotions where one is fully present with the experience (participation) but maintains a measure of self-awareness and non-identification (disentangled). This allows one to feel emotions intimately without being overwhelmed or blindly reacting to them, moving from 'my anger' to 'the anger'.
Non-identification
The practice of observing thoughts, emotions, and sensations without identifying oneself with them. This creates a sense of space and freedom, allowing experiences to arise and pass without being 'owned' by them, such as recognizing 'anger is moving through me' rather than 'I am angry'.
8 Questions Answered
An approach called natural awareness can be an antidote to striving. It teaches that the mind is inherently good and present, and that trying to 'get' enlightenment is a mistake, encouraging a profound letting go and resting in existing awareness.
Awareness of awareness is the practice of noticing the quality of awareness itself, rather than just the objects of awareness (like breath or thoughts). It can involve perceiving the vast, open space in which experiences arise, or focusing on the 'knower' or 'noticer' of experiences.
It's an art that requires experimentation. If your mind feels too tight or you're over-efforting, try a more open practice. If your mind is spacey or foggy, return to a more concentrated practice. Ultimately, you become your own best teacher through trial and error.
While it's beneficial to have guidance, especially initially, you can become your own best teacher through experimentation. Resources like meditation app coaches or online programs can provide a workaround if local teachers or retreats are inaccessible.
Mindfulness helps parents stay centered, regulate emotions like irritation or frustration, and respond more skillfully. It allows for pausing, observing bodily sensations of emotion, and calming the nervous system before reacting, fostering more loving responses.
No, mindfulness does not turn you into a zombie or make you emotionless. Instead, it can give people more healthy access to their emotions, allowing them to feel emotions with awareness and 'disentangled participation,' rather than being lost in or overwhelmed by them.
While some meditation practices deliberately control the breath (like in yoga), the emphasis in many mindfulness practices is on observing the breath at its own natural rhythm. If you find yourself controlling it, try meditating lying down, focusing on different areas of the body (abdomen, chest, nose), or using sounds as your primary anchor instead of the breath.
Yes, early research suggests positive effects. A UCLA study on mindfulness for ADHD in adolescents and adults showed significant improvements in attention, particularly 'conflict attention' (the ability to stay attentive despite distractions). General research on kids also shows positive impacts on emotional regulation, test-taking, and social-emotional improvement, mostly in classroom contexts.
8 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Natural Awareness, Let Go
Shift your meditation practice from striving to achieve a goal to recognizing the inherent goodness and presence of your mind. This involves resting your mind in its true nature and acknowledging that awareness is already here, leading to profound well-being and connection.
2. STOP for Emotional Regulation
When overwhelmed by strong emotions, use the “STOP” acronym: Stop, Take a breath, Observe what’s happening in your body and mind (sensations, thoughts), and then Proceed. This process helps calm your nervous system and allows for a more skillful, less reactive response by bringing awareness to the experience.
3. Utilize Glimpse Practices
Integrate short phrases like “effortless,” “nowhere to go, nothing to do,” “it’s already here,” or “can I be with just this” into your meditation or daily life. These phrases help turn your mind towards a more open, spacious, and relaxed awareness, especially when you notice yourself striving.
4. Navigate Awareness Spectrum
Recognize that meditation involves a spectrum of practices, from focused attention (like on the breath) to wide-open, spacious awareness. Learn to skillfully switch between these modes—tighten focus if your mind is fuzzy, or relax into open awareness if you’re over-efforting—to maintain a balanced practice.
5. Depersonalize with Eight Worldly Winds
View life’s inevitable ups and downs (praise/blame, gain/loss, fame/dishonor, pleasure/pain) as “worldly winds” that simply happen, rather than taking them personally. This perspective helps cultivate equanimity and reduces suffering caused by constantly seeking the good and avoiding the bad.
6. Mindful Parenting: Release Expectations
As a parent, observe your expectations about who your child “should” be (e.g., a big reader, a dancer) and practice letting them go. This allows you to return to the reality of who your child is and accept them, fostering a more loving and accepting relationship.
7. Observe Natural Breath (or Alternatives)
If you struggle to observe your natural breath without controlling it, try meditating lying down, exploring different anchor points (abdomen, chest, nose), or switching to an alternative anchor like listening to sounds. The goal is to let the breath be at its own natural rhythm.
8. Model Mindfulness for Children
Instead of directly teaching your children meditation, focus on modeling a meditative lifestyle and a dedication to the practice yourself. Children often learn best from others and may resist direct instruction from parents.
7 Key Quotes
The great hindrance in meditation is desire, right? Oh, I was I had it in spades.
Diana Winston
Wherever you go, there you are.
Sayada Pandita (quoted by Diana Winston)
The mind is inherently primordially here present as it is, that there's there's a goodness an inherent goodness in us and that grasping after some kind of awakening is like a it's like a mistake.
Diana Winston
Our minds are like the sky, our awareness is like the sky, vast, open, spacious, and all that's arising is just like clouds in the sky.
Diana Winston
You know your next book should be 10 poopier.
Dan Harris's son
I'm not tired, I'm just meditating.
Dan Harris's son
It goes from being my anger to the anger, and that's a very powerful shift.
Diana Winston
1 Protocols
STOP Practice for Emotional Regulation
Diana Winston- S: Stop – Pause in the moment of stress or strong emotion.
- T: Take a Breath – Use breathing to help calm down.
- O: Observe – Turn attention inward to sensations in the body (e.g., burning in belly, clenched stomach, tight jaw) and what's happening internally, rather than getting lost in thoughts.
- P: Proceed – Move forward with a more regulated and sane response, often after the nervous system has re-regulated.