What's Love Got To Do With It? | Election Sanity Series | JoAnna Hardy

1. Train Four Brahma Viharas

Cultivate mental skills like friendliness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity through meditation practices to experience physiological and psychological benefits, especially during tumultuous times.

2. Use Metta Phrases

In formal metta practice, repeat phrases such as “May I be happy,” “May I be at peace and at ease,” “May I feel safe and protected from harm,” and “May I be free” for yourself and others.

3. Follow Metta Practice Sequence

Begin metta practice by sending phrases (e.g., “May you be happy, safe, healthy, and live with ease”) to yourself, then to an easy person, a benefactor, a neutral person, a difficult person, and finally to all beings everywhere, visualizing each as you do so.

4. Adapt Metta Practice for Success

Amend the metta practice to what is most useful for you, starting with an easy target like a puppy if self-love is difficult, to build a foundational feeling of care and kindness.

5. Practice Metta by Removing Blocks

Cultivate metta by removing greed, hatred, or delusion; specifically, use mindfulness to become aware of fear, observing its experience in the body and sensations, and putting down fear-driven actions.

6. Don’t Judge Metta by Feelings

Do not measure the success of metta practice by immediate gushing feelings of love; view it as an exercise to boost your “love muscle” over time, as its effects may show up in your life rather than just during the practice.

7. Engage Fiercely with Metta

Do not mistake metta, love, kindness, or care for passivity; instead, view it as a fierce and courageous practice that allows you to show up fully and create change more effectively than through anger or fear.

8. Use Metta for Freedom from Resentment

Practice metta for difficult people not to condone their actions, but to free yourself from carrying the burden of hatred, anger, or aversion, thereby lightening the load and tension in your own life.

9. Separate Action from Actor

When practicing metta for difficult people, acknowledge their bad behavior but try to see the human being in their fallibility, dividing the action from the actor, without needing to like them or condone their actions.

10. Observe Resistance Without Judgment

When practicing metta, especially for difficult people, pay close attention to feelings of resistance, resentment, tension, or pain without judging yourself, as this practice purifies by bringing these emotions to the surface.

11. Use Metta to Prevent Misdirected Rage

Practice metta to free your mind and heart from rage and outrage, preventing it from being misdirected towards loved ones, and enabling you to live with more equity, peace, gentleness, and ease.

12. Take Breaks from News/Social Media

To preserve mental space for love and reduce overwhelming fear and anxiety, take regular breaks from news, social media, and other constant information streams that trigger negative emotions.

13. Combine Metta with Mindfulness

Integrate metta with mindfulness practice by regularly checking in with yourself (“What’s actually going on for me right now?”) to cultivate hope and move forward, rather than being stuck in despair.

14. Use Metta to Process Grief

When bombarded by triggering information, observe where your mind inclines; instead of deflecting uncomfortable feelings with hatred or blame, use metta to create space to be held in your grief and sadness.

15. Prioritize Well-being in Interactions

Reflect on how you want your life to look and prioritize your personal well-being by choosing not to engage in toxic conversations or attempt to change others, thereby avoiding carrying unnecessary emotional burdens.

16. Assess Capacity for Conversations

Before engaging in difficult conversations, especially with family or friends, check in with yourself to assess your capacity and consider avoiding certain topics or people if you’re not interested in constant fighting.

17. Seek Wisdom for Difficult Communications

When needing to communicate in a difficult situation, let wisdom guide you on when and how to show up; consider involving a neutral third party to help de-escalate and remove vitriol from your message.

18. Practice Compassionate Presence

When encountering suffering in yourself or others, practice staying present with it, without fear, pity, or avoidance, and consider taking compassionate action.

19. Cultivate Sympathetic Joy

Practice delighting in the happiness of other people, actively engaging with their good fortune, rather than succumbing to jealousy or envy.

20. Develop Equanimity for Balance

Cultivate the mind’s capacity to find balance and clarity, allowing you to be okay with experiences as they arise and see what is happening in an open way.

21. Integrate Brahma Viharas

Understand that the four qualities (metta, compassion, mudita, equanimity) can work together and don’t need to be compartmentalized; apply the appropriate quality as the moment demands.

22. Pay Attention to Neutral People

Use metta practice for neutral people (strangers) to become more aware of how you might ignore them, and strive to show up more fully for them, recognizing their potential pain or life experiences.

23. Choose Appropriate Difficult Person

When practicing metta for a difficult person, start with someone who pushes your edge slightly but does not inspire overwhelming hatred, to set yourself up for success.

24. Reframe Metta for Political Figures

When sending metta to political figures you disagree with, reframe the wish for happiness as a desire for them to act in a more constructive role on the planet, believing they would be happier if they weren’t creating harm.

25. Practice Active Listening

When engaging with people who hold opposing views, practice active listening to genuinely understand their perspective, as demonstrated by Van Jones visiting households of different voters.

26. Recognize Limits of Love, Apply Compassion

Understand that while you cannot hate people into love, you also cannot always love someone into love or change outcomes; in such painful situations where suffering persists despite your love, compassion is called for.

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