What's Your Motivation? Thubten Chodron
Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron discusses setting selfless motivations, understanding 'what is enough,' and mindful eating. She emphasizes shifting from self-centeredness to benefiting others, viewing challenges as growth, and finding contentment in daily life.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Thubten Chodron and Episode Themes
The Centrality of Motivation in Buddhist Practice
Identifying and Counteracting Self-Centeredness
Aligning Worldly Goals with Altruistic Motivation
Rebirth and its Deeper Influence on Compassion
Buddhist Perspectives on Different Levels of Suffering
Daily Practices for Cultivating Positive Motivation
Transforming Criticism for Spiritual Growth
The Personal Journey to Becoming a Nun
Gender Equality Challenges in Tibetan Buddhism
Redefining 'Niceness' and Fierce Compassion
Navigating Money and Success with Altruistic Intentions
The Concept of 'What is Enough' in Daily Life
Mindful Eating: The Five Contemplations
Listener Q&A: Sustaining Mindfulness Throughout the Day
Listener Q&A: The Value of Formal Meditation Practice
5 Key Concepts
Motivation (Buddhist perspective)
Motivation is considered the most important aspect of any action, determining its wholesomeness or worth. While ordinary motivations are often self-centered, focusing on personal pleasure or reputation, a positive motivation involves thinking long-term and aspiring to benefit all living beings.
Self-Centeredness (vs. Self-Care)
This refers to the habitual focus on 'me, me, me'—seeking immediate pleasure, praise, approval, reputation, possessions, money, or status. It is distinguished from healthy self-care, which is necessary for well-being but should be undertaken with a good motivation rather than purely selfish aims.
Bodhicitta (Awakening Mind)
Bodhicitta is a long-term motivation that aspires for full awakening (enlightenment) to be of the greatest and most effective benefit to others. Cultivating this mindset helps individuals navigate life's challenges with less personal distress because their focus is on a larger, more altruistic goal.
Buddhist Suffering (Unsatisfactory Experience)
Beyond the obvious 'ouch' kind of physical or mental suffering (like illness or depression), Buddhist philosophy identifies deeper levels of unsatisfactory experience. These include the inherent impermanence of pleasure (where things that bring joy eventually cease to do so if continued) and the lack of control over one's body and mind, which are influenced by afflictions and karma.
Thought Training (Lojong)
Thought training is a Buddhist practice that involves transforming what are typically considered negative or bad situations, such as receiving criticism, into opportunities for spiritual growth. For example, criticism can be reframed as a tool to counteract arrogance and self-importance, which are afflictions hindering one's path.
11 Questions Answered
Motivation is the most important aspect because it determines whether an action is worthwhile or wholesome, not the action itself. Our usual self-centered motivations can be transformed into beneficial ones.
Yes, you can pursue such goals with a different motivation, focusing on how your work can benefit others and contribute to their kindness, rather than seeking personal fame or financial gain as the primary driver.
Belief in rebirth expands compassion beyond immediate suffering to include the deeper unsatisfactory experiences of cyclic existence, and the potential that all beings have been kind to us in past lives.
Set intentions right upon waking, reminding yourself not to harm others, to benefit them, and to cultivate the awakening mind (bodhicitta). Use visual reminders like sayings on a bathroom mirror to reinforce these intentions throughout the day.
View criticism as an opportunity to counteract arrogance and self-importance, which are afflictions. While it may hurt, it helps bring one down a few notches, which is beneficial for spiritual growth.
Yes, it is doable, though perhaps harder. Spiritual practice is a spectrum, and everyone can do what they are capable of, which is considered 'good enough'.
The philosophy is to make what you have 'enough.' Instead of constantly seeking more, cultivate contentment with what is present, recognizing that worldly desires are often insatiable.
'Nice' can mean polite, cooperative, and not obnoxious, rather than being subservient or suppressing one's voice. It allows for fierce compassion and clear, dignified communication without being impolite or cruel.
Eating should be put into context by contemplating all the causes and conditions that brought the food, the generosity of others, and the intention to nourish the body not for vanity, but to sustain one's practice and beneficial activities for others.
Set an intention at the beginning of the day to be mindful. Recognize that noticing mindlessness *is* a form of mindfulness, and celebrate these moments of waking up rather than self-flagellating. Small 'hacks' like touching a doorframe can also serve as triggers.
While 'on-the-go' mindfulness is excellent, formal seated or walking practice is believed to boost one's ability to do informal meditation, creating a self-reinforcing cycle and deepening the skill of being mindful.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Set Daily Positive Motivation
Before starting any task or even getting out of bed, pause to generate a positive, long-term motivation focused on not harming others and benefiting them as much as possible. This practice ensures your actions are wholesome and aligned with deeper purpose, rather than self-centered desires.
2. Expand Compassion Beyond Self
Actively work to counteract self-centered motivations by opening your heart to want to benefit all living beings, regardless of whether you like or know them. This goes beyond caring only for loved ones and helps fulfill your human potential.
3. Cultivate Relationships, Prevent Regret
Prioritize working on yourself to avoid anger and uncontrolled actions that harm others in your relationships. People on their deathbeds often regret relationship issues, so fostering peace and compassion now leads to a life without regret.
4. Embrace ‘Good Enough’ Mindset
Counteract the high-achiever mindset by adopting the belief that who you are, what you have, and what you do is ‘good enough.’ This perspective fosters contentment and allows for deeper connection with others, rather than constant striving.
5. Define ‘Enough’ for Contentment
Consciously decide that what you currently possess or experience is ’enough,’ rather than constantly seeking more. This philosophy helps overcome the feeling that ’there is never enough’ and allows for creative contentment, even in scarcity.
6. Practice Mindful Eating Contemplations
Before eating, engage in five contemplations: reflect on all the causes and conditions that brought the food to you, consider your current state of mind, and affirm your motivation for eating as nourishing your body to practice and benefit others. This practice fosters gratitude, improves your mindset, and helps prevent overeating or mindless consumption.
7. Transform Criticism into Growth
When criticized, reframe the experience as beneficial, viewing it as an opportunity to counteract arrogance and be brought down a few notches. This perspective helps dismantle afflictions like arrogance that keep you in a cycle of suffering and harm others.
8. Cultivate Lasting Inner Beauty
Focus on developing inner beauty rather than external appearance, as external beauty is fleeting and leads to superficial connections. Cultivating inner qualities builds genuine, lasting friendships and a more profound sense of self-worth.
9. Cultivate Gracious Aging Mindset
As you age, intentionally cultivate qualities such as graciousness, ease, and freedom from complaint, bitterness, or grudges. This proactive approach helps you become a ’nice old person’ and avoids negative traits, fostering a positive inner state.
10. Redefine ‘Niceness’ for Clarity
Understand ’niceness’ as polite, cooperative, kind, and clear communication, rather than subservience or suppressing your truth. This allows you to communicate effectively and compete without being cruel, maintaining dignity without imitating aggressive behaviors.
11. Detach Self-Esteem from Money
Separate your self-esteem from your financial earnings, recognizing that your worth is not dependent on the amount of money you make. This detachment fosters contentment, allowing you to make do with what you have and avoid the emotional pain of linking self-worth to wealth.
12. Formal Practice Boosts Daily Mindfulness
Incorporate formal seated or walking meditation into your routine, even if you already practice mindfulness ‘on the go.’ Formal practice strengthens your ability to be mindful during daily activities, creating a self-reinforcing cycle for greater overall presence.
13. Recognize Daily Mindfulness Progress
Acknowledge that noticing yourself on autopilot or being mindless during the day is a form of mindfulness and a sign of progress. This recognition helps avoid self-flagellation and instead celebrates these moments of ‘waking up,’ incentivizing continued mindfulness.
14. Celebrate Moments of Waking Up
When you notice yourself waking up from a period of mindlessness, celebrate that moment instead of punishing yourself for having been distracted. This positive reinforcement incentivizes your mind to wake up more frequently, fostering the development of mindfulness as a skill.
15. Create Mindfulness Triggers
Implement small, physical ‘hacks’ or habits in your daily routine, such as touching a doorframe when entering a new room, to serve as triggers for moments of mindfulness. These simple actions can help you ‘wake up’ and be present throughout the day.
16. Reduce Smartphone Attachment
Consider reducing your attachment to smartphones and other modern conveniences to experience greater freedom and avoid constant availability. This practice helps you discern what you truly need versus what you merely desire, fostering a more present and connected experience with others.
6 Key Quotes
It's not what we do that makes something worthwhile or wholesome. It's our motivation for doing it.
Thubten Chodron
If you help your friends and harm your enemies, that's not any better than a dog because that's what a dog does.
Thubten Chodron
If you're going to have friends, I want them to see inner beauty. I don't want them to see external beauty. Because if people like you for external beauty, it's not going to last long, is it?
Thubten Chodron
There is never enough. Whatever you have, it's never enough. We don't have enough love. We don't have enough money. We don't have enough appreciation. We don't have enough fame. There is never enough. When you live your life from that point of view, from just being concerned with only things of this life, there is never enough. So my philosophy is, you make what you have enough. Then you have enough. It's enough.
Thubten Chodron
I never heard of anybody at the time of death saying, I should have worked more overtime. Or I should have done a better job on Instagram.
Thubten Chodron
Good enough, dear. Who you are is good enough. What you have is good enough. What you do is good enough.
Thubten Chodron
3 Protocols
Daily Motivation Setting
Thubten Chodron- Upon first waking up in the morning, before getting out of bed, set your motivation for the day.
- Identify the most important things: not to harm anybody, to benefit others as much as you can, and to cultivate bodhicitta (the awakening mind that aspires for full awakening to be of the greatest benefit to others).
- Throughout the day (e.g., after breakfast, before teachings, before meditation sessions, before eating lunch), pause and come back to your motivation.
- Use visual reminders, such as sayings on a bathroom mirror, to help remember how you want to be that day.
Transforming Criticism
Thubten Chodron- When you receive criticism, acknowledge the initial feelings of anger, hurt, defensiveness, or resentment.
- Flip the situation by recognizing that criticism can be beneficial for spiritual practice.
- Consider that it helps to counteract arrogance and self-importance, which are afflictions hindering your spiritual growth.
- Accept that it's good to be 'brought down a few notches' even if it hurts your feelings, as you can survive hurt feelings.
Five Contemplations Before Eating
Thubten Chodron- Contemplate all the causes and conditions that came into your receiving the food, recognizing the labor of many people.
- Reflect on your current state of mind and the kind of state of mind you have during the day, aiming to improve it if accepting generosity.
- Consider why you are eating: to nourish your body.
- Reflect on why you want to nourish your body: not for strength and good looks, but so you can practice the path and do activities beneficial for other people.
- Connect your eating to your long-term motivation to use your life in a beneficial way for others.