What Should You Do With Your Life? | Suzy Welch
NYU Stern professor and author Suzy Welch shares her "Becoming You" method for crafting an authentic life and career. She outlines a rigorous system to identify one's purpose by exploring core values, aptitudes, and economically viable interests, emphasizing living by design over default.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Living by Design or by Default: A Foundational Question
Overview of the Becoming You Course at NYU Stern
Distinguishing Between Purpose and Happiness
Defining Personal Success Beyond Conventional Metrics
The Three Pillars of the Becoming You Protocol
Understanding Values: Definition and Challenges in Identification
The 15 Core Values Explained in Detail
The Values Bridge: A Tool for Discovering Your Values
Aptitudes: Cognitive Wiring and Personality Perception
Tools for Assessing Aptitudes and Personality (Pi360, YouScience)
Economically Viable Interests: Expanding Career Possibilities
Why 'Follow Your Passion' is Incomplete Advice
Applying the Life Protocol Across All Ages and Stages
The Critical Role of Relationships in Authentic Living
The Six Squared Exercise for Envisioning Your Future
10 Key Concepts
Values
Values are the deeply held beliefs that galvanize our actions and decisions, often confused with virtues. Most people struggle to identify their true values clearly, often sublimating them due to external influences or convenience.
Scope (Value)
This value measures an individual's desire for stimulation, excitement, new experiences, and people. A high 'scope' person embraces chaos for novelty, while a low 'scope' person prefers predictability and routine, trading potential boredom for control.
Radius (Value)
This value describes the desire to have a significant impact on the world, akin to a social justice warrior. It reflects how much one is driven by the desire to change the world in their decisions and actions.
Agency (Value)
Agency is the value continuum that measures the importance of self-determination and driving one's own life. Individuals with high agency need to be the author of their own path and resist being controlled by others.
Beholderism (Value)
This value reflects how important aesthetics are to an individual, encompassing how things look, including their spaces, possessions, and even themselves. It can significantly influence life choices like vacation destinations or career paths.
Non-Sibi (Value)
Derived from the Latin for 'not oneself,' this value captures the extent to which an individual is motivated by helping people. It's an organizing principle for those who prioritize assisting others in their daily lives and career choices.
Affluence (Value)
This value represents the importance of money and financial security, though its definition varies widely among individuals. It requires knowing a specific financial 'number' to be honest with oneself and others about its significance.
Eudaimonia (Value)
A Greek term for 'flourishing,' this value encompasses self-care, pleasure, and leisure. It reflects how much an individual prioritizes feeling good and not postponing joy, a growing trend among younger generations.
Aptitudes
Aptitudes refer to one's cognitive wiring (e.g., being a generalist or specialist, brainstormer or idea contributor) and how one's personality is experienced by the world. Understanding these helps align career choices with natural strengths for greater comfort and success.
Economically Viable Interests
This concept involves identifying types of work that are intellectually or emotionally appealing, while also being capable of providing the necessary financial support. It encourages broadening one's perspective on available industries and career paths beyond common assumptions.
7 Questions Answered
No, this question is for anybody at any stage of life, as old plans can run out of juice, and it's crucial to frequently ask if you are doing what you want with the people you want.
Happiness is often a fleeting outcome or byproduct of having a purpose; it's more sustainable to seek purpose, which leads to a meaningful, productive, and connected life, often resulting in joy.
Success is different for each person and must be individually defined by letting go of external expectations from culture, spouses, or parents, and digging deep to find one's own definition.
The term 'values' has been hijacked by politics and is often confused with virtues, leading to a lack of clarity and specificity in identification; many people also sublimate their true values due to relationships, culture, or expedience.
Knowing one's cognitive wiring and how one's personality is experienced by the world helps align work with natural strengths, leading to more comfortable, enjoyable, and successful outcomes, rather than working against one's innate wiring.
Passion alone is insufficient; one must also have the aptitudes (skills/talent) to excel in that passion, otherwise, it can lead to failure, self-doubt, and unhappiness if the world does not want to receive what you are passionate about.
Relationships often involve negotiating values, and understanding one's own values and those of partners, family, or colleagues is crucial for harmony and authentic living, as disconnects can cause significant problems.
19 Actionable Insights
1. Three-Part Life Purpose Protocol
Engage in a rigorous methodology to discover your life’s purpose by identifying your core values, understanding your aptitudes (cognitive wiring and personality), and exploring economically viable interests.
2. Regularly Assess Life Direction
Frequently ask yourself, “Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? Am I doing what I want to be doing? And with the people with whom I want to be doing it?” to ensure you are living by design, not default.
3. Prioritize Purpose Over Happiness
Focus on discovering and living your purpose, as happiness is often a byproduct of a meaningful, productive, and connected life, rather than a goal to be chased directly.
4. Define Your Core Values
Clearly identify your deeply held beliefs that drive your actions and decisions, as knowing your values is fundamental to understanding yourself and living authentically.
5. Assess Your 15 Core Values
Explore and rank the 15 core values (scope, radius, family centrism, belonging, cosmos, agency, beholderism, non-sibi, work centrism, affluence, achievement, luminance, voice, eudaimonia, place) to understand what truly matters to you.
6. Utilize The Values Bridge Test
Take “The Values Bridge” online test (thevaluesbridge.com) to gain clarity and specificity on your personal ranking of the 15 core values, which can be transformative for self-understanding.
7. Measure Values-Life Alignment
Assess the variance between your identified values and how closely you are currently living them, as this data is crucial for understanding your authenticity and purpose.
8. Understand Your Aptitudes
Identify your cognitive wiring (e.g., generalist vs. specialist) and how your personality is experienced by the world, to align your work with your natural strengths.
9. Seek 360-Degree Feedback
Use tools like PI360.com to gather anonymous feedback from others on how your personality is experienced by the world, to gain self-awareness and identify areas for change.
10. Take Cognitive Aptitude Test
Consider taking a test like YouScience.com to get a clear read on your cognitive aptitudes, helping you understand how your brain is wired and identify suitable work.
11. Align Work with Aptitudes
Strive to choose work that aligns with your natural aptitudes and personality, as working in concert with them is generally more comfortable, enjoyable, and emotionally successful.
12. Broaden Career Horizon
Expand your understanding of the vast array of industries and job types available beyond common perceptions, to avoid prematurely limiting your career options and discover new economically viable interests.
13. Combine Passion with Aptitude
While knowing your passions is important, ensure they are combined with your aptitudes (what you’re good at) to avoid setting yourself up for failure and to increase the likelihood of success and fulfillment.
14. Perform “Six Squared” Exercise
Write a six-word memoir summarizing your life to date, then envision your ideal life 25 years from now and write a six-word memoir for that future, comparing the two to reveal unlived dreams and surface core values.
15. Author Your Life, Don’t Self-Edit
When envisioning your ideal future, allow yourself to be the author and imagine without self-editing, as the world will provide enough external edits; focus first on discovering your heart’s true desires.
16. Compare Values with Partners
Encourage partners to take the values test to understand the harmony or conflict in your shared values, which can be a key factor in relationship dynamics and authenticity.
17. Cultivate Quality Relationships
Prioritize and nurture the quality of your relationships across all aspects of your life (personal and professional), as they are a critical factor for long-term success, alongside good ideas and execution.
18. Re-evaluate Life Purpose Regularly
Continuously ask “What should I do with my life?” throughout all stages of life, from young adulthood to retirement, as it is the ongoing work of our lives and not just for young people.
19. Utilize Book’s Free Exercises
If tests are not feasible or preferred, use the guided exercises provided in the “Becoming You” book, which can be done with just a pen and paper to explore values, aptitudes, and interests.
7 Key Quotes
Are you living by design or by default?
Dan Harris
Happiness is not a goal, but an outcome. It's like a, happiness is a byproduct of having your purpose.
Suzy Welch
Values are the deeply held beliefs that galvanize our actions and decisions.
Suzy Welch
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Suzy Welch
People are incredibly complicated and incredibly simple at the same time.
Suzy Welch
The funnest, best thing is just being with people.
Suzy Welch
It's better to be the author of your life than the editor.
Suzy Welch
2 Protocols
The Becoming You Methodology
Suzy Welch- Figure out what your values are (deeply held beliefs that galvanize your actions and decisions).
- Identify your aptitudes (your cognitive wiring and how your personality is experienced by the world).
- Determine your economically viable interests (what work calls to you intellectually or emotionally, and can pay you according to your affluence value).
- Synthesize these three components to discover your 'area of transcendence' or purpose.
- On the last day of class, present a 40-year narrative of your life going forward, taking a journey to that area of transcendence.
Six Squared Exercise for Life Reflection
Suzy Welch- Reflect on your life to date and write a six-word memoir summarizing it (e.g., 'For sale, baby shoes, never worn').
- Get very quiet and still, imagining your life 25 years from now as if everything worked out perfectly, without editing.
- Picture that ideal future life up close (what a day would feel like) and from 10,000 feet (what it would look like overall).
- Write a six-word memoir title for the journey from today to that ideal life 25 years hence.
- Compare the first memoir title to the second, reflecting deeply on the distance, differences, unlived dreams, and values revealed by the comparison.