Why Buddhism Is Inherently Hopeful (Despite All the Talk of Suffering) | Oren Jay Sofer
Buddhist teacher Oren Jay Sofer, author of 'Say What You Mean,' discusses practical hope, defining it as a skill. He explains that effective hope involves detaching from specific outcomes, focusing on present actions, and balancing the acknowledgment of difficulties with practices that uplift the heart.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Introduction to Hope as a Skill and Oren Sofer's Perspective
Understanding Practical Hope: Action Over Wishing
Navigating Hope: Vision Without Outcome Fixation
Meditation Practice for Letting Go of Results
Coping with Overwhelm, Terror, and Despair
The Balance of Handling Difficulties and Uplifting the Heart
Cultivating a Relationship with Your Inner Life
Awareness as an Inner Companion and Resource
Distinguishing Awareness from Love and Kindness
Strategies for Uplifting the Heart and Enjoying Life
The Role of Safety and Equanimity in Hope
The Buddhist Perspective on Suffering and Hope
5 Key Concepts
Practical Hope
Practical hope is not a vague, rosy state of mind or merely wishing for a better future, but a skill rooted in the understanding that our actions in the present moment have effects. It involves having a vision for possibility, taking steps towards it, and then letting go of the specific outcome, which is beyond our control.
Metabolizing Terror
Instead of abandoning terror in the face of overwhelming global issues, metabolizing it means finding ways to process and integrate these difficult emotions. This involves not being alone with one's feelings, connecting with others, being honest about how one feels, and engaging in collective mourning and grief.
Relationship with Inner Life
This concept views meditation and contemplative practice as a process of developing a deep connection with one's own internal experiences, emotions, and needs. It's about learning to be one's own friend and having one's own back when facing fear, loss, uncertainty, or confusion.
Awareness as a Companion
Awareness, in this context, is a cultivated state of clear, strong consciousness that provides a broader perspective on what's happening, both internally and externally. It acts as an inner atmosphere of familiarity, comfort, quiet, and understanding, allowing one to experience difficult emotions without being consumed by them.
Uplifting the Heart
This is a two-part process involving actively enjoying life's simple pleasures by noticing and taking in the good (e.g., clean water, a smile) and consciously cultivating healthy mind states. It includes practices like daily gratitude, loving-kindness, generosity, and service to strengthen qualities that bring joy and well-being.
7 Questions Answered
Practical hope is not just wishing for a better future, but an active skill rooted in the understanding that our present actions have effects. It involves having a vision for what's possible, taking conscious steps, and then letting go of specific outcomes.
Instead of abandoning terror, one should try to metabolize it by not being alone with it, connecting with others, being honest about feelings, and allowing for collective mourning and grief. It's about balancing acknowledging difficulties with uplifting the heart.
Individuals can develop a better relationship with their inner life by acknowledging feelings, past experiences, and needs, and learning to be their own friend. This involves strengthening wholesome mind states and increasing awareness, which acts as a companion during difficult experiences.
Awareness provides a broader perspective, like being in a movie theater and remembering you're watching a movie, rather than being lost in the story. It creates an inner atmosphere of quiet, space, warmth, and understanding around difficult emotions, allowing them to be experienced without being overwhelmed.
While some traditions suggest they are not separate, the relationship between awareness and love/kindness is a deep question for personal investigation. The practice encourages cultivating both mindfulness (awareness) and warmth (kindness/friendliness) to handle difficulties and receive joy.
This involves two parts: actively enjoying life's simple pleasures by noticing and taking in the good, and consciously cultivating healthy mind states like gratitude, loving-kindness, generosity, and service through internal practices or external actions.
Two key elements are feeling 'safe enough' (refuge) to lower hypervigilance and address immediate threats, and cultivating wisdom or equanimity to recognize both that change is possible through our actions and that we don't control specific outcomes.
24 Actionable Insights
1. Act with Vision, Release Outcome
Cultivate a clear vision or purpose, then take intelligent, skillful steps in the present moment, acting with integrity while releasing attachment to specific outcomes.
2. Detach from Outcomes
To hope effectively and avoid disappointment, practice detaching from specific results or outcomes, understanding that fixation can lead to suffering.
3. Practice Presence & Let Go
Use meditation to learn to let go of striving for goals and instead relax, settle into, and show up fully for whatever is happening in the present moment.
4. Cultivate Inner Relationship & Self-Friendship
Develop a strong relationship with your inner life, acknowledging feelings and needs, and learn to be your own best friend to feel supported even in solitude.
5. Balance Honoring Difficulties & Uplifting Heart
Practice practical hope by simultaneously acknowledging and processing difficulties while actively working to nourish and uplift your heart.
6. Create Safe Enough Spaces
Prioritize creating personal, social, and collective circumstances where you feel safe enough to reduce hypervigilance and address immediate threats.
7. Address Immediate Harm
If feeling overwhelmed or ‘drowning’ in difficult circumstances, prioritize addressing the most immediate harm and pressing concerns before attempting to navigate towards a better future.
8. Share & Metabolize Difficult Emotions
Do not be alone with terror or other overwhelming emotions; reach out, connect with others, be honest about your feelings, and learn to metabolize them rather than suppressing them.
9. Acknowledge & Collectively Grieve
Create space in your communities and relationships to acknowledge and collectively process grief and mourning for losses, including ecological devastation, as a fundamental human need.
10. Change Your Relationship to Suffering
Acknowledge that hardship and difficulty exist, then focus on changing how you relate to suffering, as this shift can cause aspects of that suffering to cease.
11. Cultivate Awareness as a Companion
Increase awareness through practice, recognizing that as it strengthens, it can become a wise, supportive companion, helping you handle experiences without feeling alone.
12. Broaden Perspective with Awareness
Cultivate awareness to gain a broader perspective on life’s events, recognizing you are conscious within them, which provides inner ground, balance, and perspective.
13. Develop Wholesome Mind States
Actively strengthen wholesome mind states like empathy, kindness, generosity, compassion, and forgiveness through meditation and daily practice.
14. Cultivate Daily Gratitude
Play an active role in shaping your inner atmosphere by practicing daily gratitude, a reliable way to uplift the heart and bring more joy and well-being into your life.
15. Actively Enjoy & ‘Take In The Good’
Seek out and appreciate moments of beauty, pleasure, and nourishment in daily life, ’taking in the good’ for at least 20 seconds to allow your neurology to receive its benefits.
16. Appreciate Simple Pleasures
Consciously notice and appreciate simple, everyday pleasures like clean water, food, shelter, or a friendly smile, recognizing their profound nourishing value.
17. Practice Generosity & Service
Engage in acts of generosity and service, both internally (e.g., loving-kindness meditation) and externally (e.g., reaching out to a struggling friend), to connect with your own goodness and uplift your heart.
18. Own Your Mental & Emotional Well-being
Take responsibility for your mental and emotional well-being by consciously managing how you think, where you place your attention, and the habits of thought and mood you actively pursue.
19. Align Actions with Values
Recognize that while actions have effects and change is possible, you don’t control the outcome; therefore, ensure every choice you make aligns with your values and what you want to bring into the world.
20. Assess Resources & Capacities
Conduct an honest and grounded assessment of your internal capacities and external resources to ensure you can respond effectively to challenges and opportunities.
21. Maintain Inner Ecosystem
Actively maintain your inner ecosystem to cultivate a sense of ‘okayness’ in the present, which provides access to your intelligence, empathy, and energy for effective action.
22. Investigate Awareness & Kindness
Investigate in your own experience whether awareness and kindness (or love/friendliness) are interconnected or inseparable, holding it as an open question rather than seeking to confirm a thesis.
23. Cultivate Curiosity
Foster curiosity and sincere interest in your inner and outer experience, as this approach will actively further your meditation practice and self-understanding.
24. Visit Oren’s Website
To learn more about Oren J. Sofer’s work, teaching, and writing, visit his website at oranjsofer.com.
7 Key Quotes
You will have to give up the possibility of depending on the hope of results, and that ultimately you end up doing what you do simply for the value and the rightness of the actions in and of themselves.
Thomas Merton (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
Another world is possible.
First World Social Forum (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
Learn to be your own best friend.
Godwin Samaratne (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
Make your mind your friend.
Korean song master (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
Mindfulness keeping it company.
Thich Nhat Hanh (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
Take a look and see, when you're loving, aren't you also aware? And when you're aware, aren't you also loving?
Deepama (quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
There is suffering.
Buddha (more accurate translation, quoted by Oren Jay Sofer)
1 Protocols
Taking in the Good (Rick Hansen)
Oren Jay Sofer (attributing Rick Hansen)- Notice moments of beauty, awe, or simple pleasures in your day (e.g., a beautiful sunset, clean water, a smile).
- Actively take in the experience, allowing yourself to feel the positive emotion.
- Sustain the positive feeling for at least 20 seconds.
- Allow your neurology a chance to receive the benefits of this healthy pleasure.