You Don't Have to be Miserable While Doing Important Work | adrienne maree brown
Adrienne Marie Brown, author of "Pleasure Activism," discusses how reclaiming pleasure, defined broadly as contentment and joy, is crucial for personal well-being and social justice. She advocates for internal satisfaction, setting boundaries, and mindful living to cultivate authentic happiness and a more liberated world.
Deep Dive Analysis
20 Topic Outline
Introduction to Pleasure Activism and Cultural Views
Defining Pleasure Activism and its Roots
Making Justice and Liberation Pleasurable
Practices for Feeling and Discerning Satisfaction
Moving from Intention to Impact in Relationships
Building Trust and its Benefits in Collaborative Work
Pleasure in Leadership and Post-Capitalist Values
Cultivating a Sense of 'Enough' and Mindful Consumption
Mindfulness, Meditation, and Emergent Strategy
Transforming Ourselves to Transform the World
Overcoming Self-Righteousness in Activism
Reclaiming the Erotic and Erotic Aliveness
The Power of 'Yes' and Intuitive Wisdom
Addressing Bias in Bodily Reactions
The Importance of 'No' and Setting Boundaries
Sex and Pleasure Activism
Responsible Drug Use and Mindful Presence
Commitment, Detachment, and the Creative Process
Radical Gratitude and its Connection to Abundance
Authentic Happiness and Interconnectedness
8 Key Concepts
Pleasure Activism
A practice of reclaiming one's full capacity to feel contentment, happiness, and joy, especially for those with legacies of trauma and oppression. It extends to making the pursuit of justice and liberation deeply pleasurable, rooted in Audre Lorde's work on the erotic as power.
False Solutions
Outcomes or proposals that do not genuinely satisfy deep needs or address root causes, often accepted because individuals or groups are out of touch with what true satisfaction feels like. This leads to settling for less than what is truly required for liberation or change.
Impact vs. Intention
A framework for evaluating actions and interactions by focusing on their actual effects and how they land on people, rather than solely on the initial intent. It encourages accountability for the consequences of actions, even if intentions were good.
Post-Capitalism
An economic perspective that critiques systems built on unjust wealth extraction and competition, advocating for alternative practices like mutual aid and redistribution of resources. It emphasizes being in touch with a sense of 'enough' rather than constant accumulation.
Emergent Strategy
A framework for engaging with change by learning from nature's constant cycles and other species, rather than resisting or trying to control it. It involves transforming oneself to align with the desired changes in the world and harnessing change for justice.
Erotic Aliveness
The profound sense of feeling fully alive, present, and experiencing pleasure from within one's body, extending beyond sexual acts to encompass any experience that awakens the whole self. It involves being able to land fully into the present moment and feel it at a cellular level.
Accountable Yes
Cultivating an inner knowing of what genuinely brings joy, meaning, and purpose, allowing one's life and work to be guided by this internal affirmation. It involves discerning one's true desires and making choices that align with them, rather than external expectations.
Heedlessness (Drug Use)
Using intoxicants in a way that leads to a lack of awareness, judgment, or presence, often to numb feelings or escape reality. The alternative is mindful use, where substances are employed to enhance presence, for pain relief, or relaxation, with clear intention and awareness.
17 Questions Answered
Pleasure activism is the work of reclaiming one's capacity to feel contentment, happiness, and joy, especially for those with trauma or oppression, and making justice and liberation the most pleasurable experiences possible.
Fighting for justice can become pleasurable through the immense joy of belonging to a community, standing up for what matters, and structuring the work to feel good, such as incorporating celebration and fostering deep trust among comrades.
Getting in touch with true satisfaction involves practices like reconnecting with one's body, studying somatics to discern feelings, and being honest about one's needs and what truly impacts them, rather than settling for 'false solutions.'
This requires awakening to more perspectives, considering one's own biases, and focusing on the 'impact' of actions rather than just 'intention.' In positions of power, it means asking what structures would work for the majority and fostering environments where all voices can participate.
Getting in touch with 'enough' is a constant practice that can involve tangible steps like calculating one's actual financial needs, and mindful practices like intuitive eating to discern physical satiety, rather than constant accumulation.
Meditation and contemplative practices cultivate mindfulness, allowing one to be present with feelings without trying to control them, and to bring quality attention to everything. This helps align behavior with values and shifts focus from worst-case scenarios to desired co-creation.
Emergent strategy is about getting in right relationship with change, learning from nature and other species how to adapt rather than resist. It aims to harness change to move towards justice and requires individuals to transform themselves as they seek to transform the world.
Activists can avoid self-righteousness by examining where the issues they fight against (e.g., warmongering, punitive nature, superiority) might still exist within themselves. This inward reflection fosters personal power and peace, moving away from a powerless position of only blaming others.
Erotic aliveness refers to the deep, internal sense of feeling fully alive and present, experiencing pleasure from within one's body. It can manifest in activities like playing with children, exercising, falling in love, listening to music, or any experience that allows one to be completely present and feel their whole self.
'Yes is the way' means that the body learns on 'yes,' and tuning into what one's system truly says 'yes' to (what brings joy, purpose, and meaning) is more effective for guiding change and life choices than focusing on what one doesn't want.
This involves cultivating curiosity about what one was socialized to think about others, particularly regarding race and supremacy. Engaging in political practices, being in relationships across differences, and embodiment training can help rewire the system and discern programming from genuine danger.
Saying 'no' to things that drain time, energy, or do not align with one's true desires creates literal and energetic space for the things one genuinely wants to say 'yes' to. It's about setting boundaries to protect one's authentic path and purpose.
In pleasure activism, sex is viewed as an area where one can cultivate liberated relationships that align with one's beliefs, recognizing the body as sovereign and sacred territory. It emphasizes understanding one's own pleasure and boundaries, rather than solely pleasing others.
Adrienne maree brown advocates for responsible, non-judgmental, and data-based drug use, emphasizing understanding the drug, setting, and mindset. She uses drugs as spiritual healing technology, for pain relief, or to enhance presence, but avoids them for shifting negative mind states.
The deepest pleasure comes from riding the line between commitment and detachment, pouring oneself deeply into a practice or effort while relinquishing control over the outcome. This allows truth to emerge and fosters satisfaction in the process itself.
A radical gratitude spell is a specific, intentional practice of offering deep gratitude, often to a stranger or comrade working for liberation, acknowledging their struggles, honoring their choices and commitment, and affirming their worth and sacred work.
Personal happiness, when authentic and not achieved through harm, is good for the world because humans are collective, interconnected entities. When one person achieves genuine happiness and peace, it lights up others and creates a model of what is possible, demystifying joy for everyone.
43 Actionable Insights
1. Transform Self, Transform World
When you get angry at something in the world, examine where that same issue (e.g., warmongering, punitive nature) might still be alive within yourself, in addition to making outward efforts.
2. Define Pleasure Internally
Learn to feel from within what actually gives you pleasure and satisfaction, rather than relying on external definitions, to find personal liberation.
3. Learn What ‘Enough’ Is
Cultivate a constant practice of understanding what ’enough’ means for you to avoid constant accumulation and the ‘wheel of labor’ driven by external desires.
4. Listen to Body’s Wisdom
Respect your body as a source of deep wisdom and knowing, allowing its data (e.g., gut feelings, intuition) to guide you towards pleasure, delight, authenticity, and accountability.
5. Use Your ‘No’ for ‘Yes’
Learn to say ’no’ to things that suck up your time, energy, or don’t align with your true desires, thereby creating literal and energetic space for what you genuinely want to say ‘yes’ to.
6. Let Your ‘Yes’ Guide Work
Identify what produces a ‘yes’ in your system—what brings you joy, makes you feel meaningful, and purposeful—and let that guide your career and work choices throughout your life.
7. Attain Authentic Happiness
Strive for authentic happiness that is not temporary gratification or caused by harming others, as this genuine contentment lights up others and creates a positive model for the world.
8. Pay Attention to What Grows
Be mindful of where you direct your attention, as ‘what you pay attention to grows,’ and consciously align your attention with your values and the world you wish to co-create.
9. Be with Feelings Mindfully
Practice not trying to control feelings, but rather feeling and being with them, viewing them as data rather than a crisis, to find liberation in your emotional experience.
10. Meditate Daily (Short Sits)
Integrate daily meditation, often in several short periods throughout the day, to cultivate quiet, inward turning, and mindfulness in your life.
11. Practice Mindful Eating
Tune into what ’enough’ feels like in your body while eating, distinguishing between your mind’s desires and your body’s signals of satisfaction to heal disordered eating patterns.
12. Define Body as Sovereign
Internalize that your body is your sovereign and sacred territory, and you alone determine who you share it with and what you do with it, empowering you to set boundaries and experience pleasure.
13. Practice Self-Pleasure First
Prioritize getting to know your own body, its worth, magic, and possibilities through self-exploration and curiosity before you are expected to share it with anyone else.
14. Cultivate Erotic Aliveness
Identify and cultivate experiences that make you feel most alive, fully present, and connected to your whole self, such as playing with kids, working out, music, or deep friendships.
15. Prioritize Presence (Erotic)
Practice being fully present in the moment, feeling it at the level of your nerves and cellular structure, as a way to understand and experience the erotic in all aspects of life.
16. Speak Up Honestly
Be more honest about what you need and what’s impacting you, especially things you don’t want to participate in, to unblock your own pleasure and improve relationships.
17. Move Past Intention to Impact
Assume good intention but actively attend to the actual impact of your actions and words on people, especially in power dynamics, to foster responsible interactions.
18. Practice Awareness for Trust
When building trust, be prepared for slow, deliberate work initially, paying close attention to relationships, as this foundational effort leads to faster, more efficient progress later.
19. Shift Leadership Mindset
Leaders should embrace social responsibility and actively labor to foster healthy, communicative relationships within their group or team, rather than abdicating this responsibility as they gain power.
20. Engage Cross-Difference Relationships
Rewire your system and challenge biases by intentionally being in relationships with people who look, were raised, and hold different beliefs than you.
21. Examine Your Biases
Cultivate curiosity about what you were shaped to think about other people, who you were told to trust or not trust, and what bodies are considered human or deserving of humane treatment.
22. Awaken Your Embodiment
Engage in practices like yoga, Aikido, or self-guided embodiment training to feel your body from within outward, gaining data on your biases and building trust with your body.
23. Structure Work for Pleasure
Structure your work life to only work with people you deeply respect, adore, and trust, and delegate tasks that do not bring you the utmost pleasure, allowing you to focus on what you love.
24. Ensure Fair Living Wages
As a leader or founder, ensure every team member earns a fair living wage that allows them to live abundant, good lives, and consider not making more than anyone on your team.
25. Commit, Then Detach
Pour yourself deeply into your work and practice, but relinquish control over the outcomes, trusting that doing your best work mindfully will ultimately yield better results.
26. Focus on Mindful Practice
When doing any work, focus on performing the practice mindfully and devotedly, rather than on expected outcomes, to allow truth and better work to emerge.
27. Embrace Experimentation
Approach work and change with a spirit of experimentation and adaptation, rather than declaration and dictation, to effectively respond when things aren’t working as expected.
28. Add Celebration to Teamwork
Intentionally add celebration to team spaces, such as dance breaks after making decisions, to build trust, camaraderie, and make hard work more pleasurable.
29. Tune into Satisfaction
Learn to feel satisfaction internally to discern true victories and avoid settling for ‘false solutions’ in your efforts to change the world or achieve goals.
30. Get Back into Nakedness
Practice getting back into relationship with your own skin and body, including nakedness, to discern feelings and reconnect with your physical self.
31. Study Somatics
Engage in the study of somatics to learn how to discern and handle feelings in the body, viewing them as valuable data rather than overwhelming crises.
32. Ask ‘What Shape Works?’
In group settings, actively ask what architecture, governance structures, or approaches would work for the majority to ensure broader participation and inclusion.
33. Calculate Your Needs Tangibly
Sit down and tangibly figure out your life costs, including rent, insurance, travel, and a ‘pleasure budget,’ to understand your actual financial needs and avoid panic working.
34. Practice ‘One In, Two Out’
When acquiring something new, make a practice of getting rid of two existing items to maintain a sense of ’enoughness’ and prevent constant accumulation.
35. Say ‘No’ to Ego Stroking
Decline offers that primarily stroke your ego but do not align with your true ‘yes,’ even if they are exciting or prestigious opportunities.
36. Surrender to Unique Calling
Recognize that there is something you are uniquely suited for and surrender to that calling, rather than being swayed by what other people want to use you for.
37. Use Drugs Responsibly
If using drugs, consider the drug, your mindset, and the physical setting, ensuring safety and clear intention, as learned from harm reduction principles.
38. Avoid Drugs for Mind-State
Do not use drugs or alcohol to shift a sad or depressed mind state; instead, sit with the feeling, meditate, or use other self-reflection tools to understand what’s happening.
39. Use Drugs for Presence
Use medicines (drugs) for physical pain relief or relaxation with the intention of becoming more present and attuned, rather than for numbing or escape.
40. Practice Radical Gratitude
Cultivate specific and detailed gratitude for people and circumstances, recognizing that gratitude is directly tied to abundance and helps you recognize when you’re in a state of abundance.
41. Offer Specific Gratitude
Actively offer specific and detailed gratitude to the people around you, especially those who work with you or make your life go, to foster connection and recognize abundance.
42. Demystify Joy
Actively work to understand and share the nature of joy, making it accessible and understandable for others, as part of your life’s purpose.
43. Invite People to Practice
Instead of arguing about ideas, invite people to practice them, trusting that direct experience will demonstrate their effectiveness and lead to personal shifts.
8 Key Quotes
Pleasure activism is the way we reclaim our whole selves, our capacity to feel contentment, happiness, satisfaction, joy, particularly for those of us who have legacies of trauma and oppression.
adrienne maree brown
If we can't be satisfied, if we don't know what it feels like when we're actually satisfied, it's really hard to tell if we're actually experiencing a victory or not.
adrienne maree brown
You can assume good intention, but we want to attend to impact.
adrienne maree brown
I'm very in touch with my enough, what enough is. And I have a constant practice now when I get something new, I go through and get rid of two things that I already have, you know, I'm like, that's enough.
adrienne maree brown
What you pay attention to grows.
adrienne maree brown
We have to transform ourselves to transform the world, that all the structures and belief systems and antiquated ideas and harmful ideas, they all have some roots in us.
Grace Lee Boggs (quoted by adrienne maree brown)
Happiness, the real deal happiness, like happy, satisfied contentment in your life is truly better than any drug I've tried.
adrienne maree brown
When I am happy, it is good for the world.
adrienne maree brown
4 Protocols
Team Trust Building (Celebration Integration)
adrienne maree brown- Intentionally add celebration to how the team holds space with each other.
- For every decision made (e.g., where to go for lunch), start playing 90s R&B music.
- Everyone takes a dance break to acknowledge the accomplishment and shift state, fostering comradeship and pleasure.
'Enoughness' Practice for Consumption
adrienne maree brown- When moved to get something new, go through existing possessions.
- Get rid of two things already owned (e.g., from closet: what's not worn, outgrown, or can be let go of) to make room and maintain a sense of 'enough.'
Mindful Drug Use (Harm Reduction Coalition Framework)
adrienne maree brown- Understand the drug: Know what you are using and if it is safe, and if you have all necessary information.
- Assess the setting: Ensure the physical environment is a safe place to use the drug.
- Evaluate your mindset: If feeling sad, depressed, or trying to shift a negative mind state, avoid using substances. Instead, sit with the feeling, meditate, or use other self-inquiry methods.
- Use medicine for specific purposes such as physical pain relief, relaxation, or to become more present and attuned.
Radical Gratitude Spell
adrienne maree brown- Greet someone (stranger, comrade, friend) working for liberation with wonder, acknowledging them as 'a miracle walking.'
- Acknowledge their choice to be free every day as a practice, despite struggles and loneliness, recognizing they have 'swum upstream.'
- Honor the choices they made in solitude and the work they have done to belong.
- Honor their commitment to that which is larger than themselves, and their journey to love the particular container of life that is them.
- Affirm: 'You are enough. Your work is enough. You are needed. Your work is sacred. You are here, and I am grateful.'