Your Anxiety Questions, Answered | Judson Brewer
Guest Dr. Jud Brewer, a leading anxiety expert, discusses the current anxiety epidemic and his three-step approach: mapping habit loops, questioning rewards, and cultivating curiosity/kindness as "bigger, better offers." He offers practical tips for managing panic, stage fright, and existential anxiety, emphasizing self-compassion and openness.
Deep Dive Analysis
11 Topic Outline
Current State of Anxiety and Dr. Jud Brewer's Expertise
Defining Anxiety, Worry, and Fear
Dr. Brewer's Three-Step Approach to Unwinding Anxiety
Understanding Experiential Avoidance in Anxiety Treatment
Applying Kindness and Self-Compassion to Anxiety
Addressing Existential Anxiety and Aging
Grounding Techniques for Intense Anxiety
Strategies for Working with Panic Attacks
Managing Stage Fright and Public Speaking Anxiety
Differentiating and Working with Anxiety and Excitement
Breaking Through Persistent Anxiety and Avoiding Over-Effort
7 Key Concepts
Anxiety as a Habit Loop
Anxiety is driven like a habit where the feeling of anxiety triggers mental worrying (or other behaviors like stress eating), which provides a temporary sense of control or doing something, reinforcing the loop.
Bigger-Better Offer (BBO)
A concept where the brain, being a pleasure-seeking machine, will naturally gravitate towards activities or states that are more rewarding. Mindfulness, curiosity, and kindness can serve as BBOs to break anxiety habit loops.
Experiential Avoidance
The tendency to avoid or suppress unpleasant thoughts, feelings, or bodily sensations. This can hinder the effectiveness of anxiety-reduction practices, as it prevents individuals from engaging with their experience.
Two Arrows (Buddhist Concept)
The first arrow represents the unavoidable pain or suffering from life's events (e.g., physical pain, loss). The second arrow represents the optional, self-inflicted suffering that comes from our reaction, rumination, or worry about the first arrow.
Noting Practice
A mindfulness technique used to observe thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise without getting caught up in them. It helps create distance from intense experiences like panic attacks, allowing for observation rather than reaction.
Somatic Memory
Memories formed in the body related to certain emotions, where specific body postures or physiological parameters (like a racing heart) can trigger associated emotional states, such as panic.
Cognitive Reframing (for Stress)
A technique to reinterpret physiological stress responses (e.g., racing heart, sweating palms) as the body preparing to act and perform, rather than as signs of danger or anxiety, thereby shifting the emotional experience.
10 Questions Answered
Anxiety is defined as a feeling of nervousness or unease about an imminent event or uncertain outcome, which can lead to worrying—a mental behavior that feeds back and makes one feel more anxious.
Anxiety is driven like a habit loop, where a trigger (e.g., feeling anxious) leads to a behavior (e.g., worrying) that is temporarily perceived as rewarding, thus reinforcing the loop.
Worrying is unhelpful because it blends fear and planning into a stuck gray zone, preventing effective planning and making one more anxious, rather than solving problems or changing outcomes.
Kindness can be applied through self-compassion (e.g., reassuring self-touch, compassionate self-talk, recognizing common humanity) or by performing acts of kindness for others, which helps open one's experience and shift away from contracted anxious feelings.
During intense anxiety, meditators can use grounding exercises (e.g., looking around the room, focusing on body parts like hands or feet) to shift awareness, and then apply curiosity to the anxiety habit loop, checking for resistance to their experience.
During a panic attack, one can use noting practice to observe symptoms (e.g., tunnel vision, racing heart, thoughts of dying) without getting caught up in them, trusting that the experience will pass and that one can be with it.
Yes, it is critical to practice self-care and ask 'What do I need right now?' rather than forcing oneself to endure a situation, especially when at one's limit, as compassion is a core part of the practice.
Strategies include thorough preparation (e.g., writing out presentations), using beta-blockers like propranolol to limit heart rate, practicing exposure therapy (slowly and systematically), and cultivating mindfulness to stay present.
Both anxiety and excitement can manifest with similar physiological responses (restlessness, urgency); the key difference lies in the associated thoughts (e.g., 'oh no' for anxiety vs. 'I can't wait' for excitement). One can apply curiosity to both, noting thoughts and sensations, and recognize that excitement's restless quality may not be true happiness.
Yes, 'throwing too much' at anxiety implies resistance and trying to make it go away, which can be counterproductive. Instead, the approach should be one of openness, acceptance, and curiosity, realizing that 'the only way out is through' and that the obstacle can become a teacher.
25 Actionable Insights
1. Map Your Anxiety Habit Loops
Identify the specific trigger (e.g., feeling anxious), the behavior (e.g., worrying, stress eating), and the result (e.g., temporary relief, feeling worse) of your anxiety. This helps you understand the cause-and-effect relationship and see how worrying ultimately makes you more anxious.
2. Question Your Habit Loop’s Reward
When you find yourself in an anxiety habit loop, ask yourself: ‘What am I getting from this?’ This inquiry helps you recognize if the behavior is truly serving you or if it’s adding to your problems, leading to disenchantment and making it easier to break the cycle.
3. Cultivate Curiosity as a Better Offer
Instead of getting caught in worrying, bring curiosity to your experience. Ask ‘What does this anxiety or worrying feel like in my body right now?’ as the act of exploration itself can feel better than worrying and help you step out of the habit loop.
4. Embrace Openness to Anxiety
Recognize that ’the only way out is through’ when dealing with anxiety. Practice opening to, allowing, and accepting your thoughts, emotions, and sensations as much as possible, which prevents feeding the anxiety and allows resistance to dissipate.
5. Apply Kindness and Self-Compassion
When feeling anxious or closed down, actively practice kindness or self-compassion. This could involve a gentle self-touch or kind self-talk, as these actions help you open to your experience, which feels better than the contracted state of anxiety.
6. Ask “What Do I Need Right Now?”
In challenging moments, prioritize self-care by asking yourself ‘What do I need right now?’ rather than focusing on what you merely want to do. This self-compassionate inquiry guides you to make choices that truly support your well-being.
7. Interrupt Self-Judgment Habit Loops
When you notice yourself engaging in self-judgment (e.g., ‘I should have done that’), ask ‘What am I getting from this?’ and then apply an act of self-compassion, such as a reassuring touch or kind self-talk, to break the cycle.
8. Practice Three-Step Self-Compassion
When stuck in anxiety, try placing a hand on your chest, talking to yourself like a good friend, and reminding yourself that your struggles are a universal human experience. These techniques can help counter negativity and foster self-support.
9. Adopt a Growth Mindset
When faced with uncertainty or the ‘oh no’ feeling, recognize it as a closed-down state and flip on a ‘curiosity switch.’ Approach changes with freshness, asking ‘How can I bring curiosity to this?’ to lighten the experience and avoid getting stuck in worry.
10. Identify Optional Suffering
Understand that while initial pain or difficulty is inevitable (the ‘first arrow’), the subsequent worrying, rumination, and self-judgment (the ‘second arrow’) are completely optional. By recognizing what is optional, you can avoid wasting energy on unhelpful mental habit loops.
11. Ground Yourself During Anxiety
When overwhelmed by intense anxiety, use grounding practices by observing external surroundings (e.g., objects in a room, people, nature) or by focusing on anxiety-free zones in your body like your hands or feet. This draws awareness away from spinning thoughts and helps your prefrontal cortex come back online.
12. Examine Resistance to Experience
If you feel anxiety despite practices like meditation, check for resistance (e.g., ‘This shouldn’t be happening’). Awaken curiosity by asking ‘Am I resisting my experience right now?’ and ‘What can I learn about myself from this resistance?’
13. Apply Noting to Panic Attacks
During a panic attack, observe and mentally ’note’ the sensations and thoughts (e.g., ‘racing heart,’ ‘feeling like I’m going to die’) without getting caught up in them. This practice helps you observe the experience and builds confidence in your ability to be with it.
14. Accept Panic with Open Arms
Instead of resisting panic, approach it with acceptance by ‘holding your arms wide’ and offering yourself a loving, kind embrace, acknowledging ‘oh, it’s okay.’ This mindset, combined with noting, helps you be with the experience rather than fueling the fear of future attacks.
15. Relax and Float Through Panic
When in a panicky situation, resist the instinct to flail and instead relax, allowing yourself to conserve energy and naturally navigate the moment. This applies to mental panic as well, trusting that intense sensations will eventually pass.
16. Respect Your Exposure Limits
While exposure to fears can be helpful, avoid pushing yourself too hard, as this can be counterproductive and potentially re-traumatizing. Listen to your body and mind, and know when to pull back and prioritize self-care.
17. Avoid Forcing Mindfulness Practices
Recognize that practices like curiosity and kindness cannot be forced; striving to achieve them can be counterproductive. Instead, cultivate a gentle, open approach to allow them to unfold naturally within your experience.
18. Stop Fighting Anxiety Directly
Avoid ’throwing too much’ at anxiety in an effort to make it disappear, as this resistance can paradoxically make it persist. Excessive effort indicates a lack of acceptance and can create a wall against your experience.
19. View Anxiety as a Teacher
Instead of viewing anxiety as an enemy, approach it with openness and curiosity, asking ‘What can I learn from this?’ This perspective can transform anxiety into an opportunity for personal growth and self-compassion.
20. Engage in Random Acts of Kindness
Practice kindness towards others, nature, or yourself, and then reflect on the positive feelings it generates. This builds a ‘memory bank’ of kindness that you can draw upon when feeling anxious to hit the pause button on anxiety loops.
21. Prepare Thoroughly for Public Speaking
To manage stage fright, prepare extensively for public speaking engagements, even if it means having notes readily available. Thorough preparation builds confidence and can make your delivery appear effortless.
22. Consider Beta Blockers for Stage Fright
For public speaking anxiety, consider using a non-narcotic beta blocker like Propranolol (after consulting a doctor). It can put a ceiling on your heart rate, significantly reducing physical panic symptoms like a racing heart.
23. Reframe Physical Anxiety Symptoms
When experiencing physical signs of anxiety (e.g., racing heart, sweating palms), tell yourself that your body is preparing you to act, rather than interpreting them as signs of danger. This cognitive reframing can prevent a full-blown fight-or-flight response.
24. Distinguish Excitement from Joy
Recognize that excitement, while stimulating, often leads to a crash and restlessness, which is not true happiness. Compare this to the calm and peace of genuine joy to identify what truly feels like a ‘bigger, better offer’ for your well-being.
25. Treat Excitement Like Anxiety
Since anxiety and excitement share similar physiological responses, apply the same mindfulness practices—bringing curiosity to thoughts, noting body sensations, and observing urges—to work with both states effectively.
6 Key Quotes
Worrying isn't going to solve tomorrow's problems. It's just going to take away today's piece, some flavor of that.
Dan Harris
What do I need right now?
Dr. Jud Brewer
People mistake the excitement of mind for happiness, and they don't notice the greater joy that comes from calm and peace or whatever.
Dr. Jud Brewer
What we resist persists.
Dr. Jud Brewer
The only way out is through.
Dr. Jud Brewer
The obstacle becoming the way.
Dr. Jud Brewer
3 Protocols
Dr. Jud Brewer's Unwinding Anxiety Approach
Dr. Jud Brewer- Map out anxiety habit loops: Identify the trigger (e.g., feeling anxious), the behavior (e.g., worrying, stress eating), and the result (e.g., feeling worse, more anxious).
- Ask 'What am I getting from this?': Investigate if the behavior is truly serving you or making things worse, leading to disenchantment.
- Find a 'Bigger-Better Offer': Introduce more rewarding alternatives like curiosity and kindness to step out of the habit loop, noticing how they feel better than worrying.
Grounding Exercise for Intense Anxiety
Dr. Jud Brewer- Look around the room or your surroundings (e.g., subway car, nature) to ground awareness externally.
- Find an 'anxiety-free zone' in your body, such as your hands or feet.
- Ask yourself what those body parts feel like (e.g., 'Which foot feels warmer than the other?'), drawing awareness away from the spinning anxious thoughts.
Self-Compassion Practice (Neff Three-Step)
Dan Harris (attributing to Kristen Neff)- Engage in self-compassionate touch, such as placing a hand on your heart or chest.
- Practice compassionate self-talk, speaking to yourself like a good friend or coach.
- Remember common humanity, acknowledging that your experience is universal and shared by many others.