Your Craving Mind | Kevin Griffin
This episode features Kevin Griffin, a Buddhist practitioner and 12-Step participant, discussing addiction broadly, from substances to the self and racism, and how Dharma connects to the 12 Steps.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction to Broad View of Addiction
The Mind's Addictive Nature and Clinging to Self
Clarifying Addiction to Self and Ego Death
Paradox of Self: Fear vs. Desire for Transcendence
Applying the Eightfold Path to Addiction to Self
Meditation Experience Tracking the Four Noble Truths
Persistence, Acceptance, and Self-Compassion in Practice
Lay Practice vs. Monastic Commitment in Buddhism
The Three Refuges as a Daily Spiritual Anchor
Distinguishing Healthy Habits from Harmful Addictions
Integrating Buddhist Principles with the 12 Steps
Personal Evolution in Addiction Recovery Approaches
Mindfulness and Stillness Amidst Pandemic Struggles
The Paradox of Effort and Surrender in Meditation
Understanding Addiction to Racism and Self-Image
Confronting Biases and the 'Good Person' Identity
5 Key Concepts
Addiction to Self
This is described as the ultimate addiction, where our thoughts define us and create the idea of a self; letting go of these thoughts is perceived as a threat to the ego's existence. It's not self-centeredness, but rather the clinging to a continuous, solid reality of 'I' that feels essential for existence.
Dukkha
A Buddhist term often translated as suffering, but more accurately conveying 'unsatisfactory' or 'incapable of satisfying.' It refers to the inherent unsatisfactoriness of all conditioned phenomena, meaning nothing ever feels fully satisfactory, leading to a continuous cycle of craving and attachment.
The Three Refuges
These are the core tenets in Buddhism: the Buddha (the enlightened teacher), the Dharma (the teachings or truth), and the Sangha (the community of practitioners). Taking refuge means committing to live by these principles, using them as a spiritual anchor and ultimate source of trust, especially during difficult times.
Right Effort (in meditation)
This is the fundamental question of all meditation practice, concerning the balance between striving and allowing. Too much effort can create agitation and be counterproductive, leading to striving, while too little effort might result in spacing out or lack of engagement.
Addiction (Kevin Griffin's definition)
For the term 'addiction' to be useful, Kevin Griffin believes it needs to refer to something that is harmful. This harm can be to oneself, to others, or to the world, distinguishing it from healthy habits which, despite being regular practices, lack this harmful component.
11 Questions Answered
The foundational addiction is the 'addiction to self,' which refers to the mind's clinging to thoughts that define our sense of self, and the fear that letting go of these thoughts threatens the existence of the ego.
It's not about being self-centered or thinking one is awesome, but rather the clinging to a continuous, solid reality of 'I.' The fear associated with this addiction is that this sense of solidity will disintegrate if thoughts are let go.
It requires vigilance and practice, starting with right view (understanding the problem), setting an intention to act differently, and engaging in meditative practices to observe thoughts and their impact, persistently interrupting addictive thought patterns.
The initial experience of uncontrolled thoughts represents the truth of suffering (dukkha). Realizing the thoughts are driven by craving and the discomfort they cause aligns with the second truth. The moment of release when letting go is the third truth (freedom), and understanding this process to recreate it is the fourth truth.
Taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha serves as a daily reminder of what is truly important and impermanent. It helps ground oneself in spiritual principles and truth, especially when caught up in worldly obsessions or difficulties.
According to Kevin Griffin, for the term 'addiction' to be useful, it must refer to something harmful to oneself, others, or the world. Therefore, healthy habits, even if regularly practiced, are not considered addictions because they lack this harmful component.
Many 12 Steps can be harmonized with Buddhist concepts: powerlessness over the mind (Step 1), mindfulness as a higher power (Step 2), investigation of harm (Step 4) similar to mind investigation, meditation (Step 11), and spiritual awakening leading to service (Step 12) aligning with the Buddha's example and mindfulness in all affairs.
Meditation provides a powerful calming relief, similar to what people seek from substances, by allowing the mind to settle. The practice of just sitting still and being quiet helps calm the spinning head and offers a sense of normalcy and peace.
While experienced practitioners like Kevin Griffin may find calm by simply sitting, beginners often benefit from formal training and techniques (like breath counting or noting). These techniques can help lay down the necessary effort and discipline before one can effectively 'forget everything learned and just play,' akin to a jazz musician.
This refers to the deep conditioning and historical patterns in society, particularly among white people, of clinging to a sense of power or superiority derived from racial hierarchies. Letting go of this conditioning is painful, similar to overcoming other addictions, and involves confronting denial and doing ongoing work.
It often threatens their self-image as a 'good person,' leading to a fear of falling into an 'abyss of being a monster.' Admitting to biases or racism is like admitting to an addiction; there's resistance, but facing it can be incredibly freeing and allow for healing and allyship.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Practice Vigilance & Self-Compassion
Engage in persistent vigilance in daily life and meditation by understanding the problem of constant thoughts and setting an intention to act differently. Use meditation to observe thought streams, recognize suffering from uncontrolled thoughts and craving, and experience the release of letting go, which can be recreated by interrupting addictive patterns and applying self-compassion; for intractable patterns, accept them and engage in self-care.
2. Daily Refuge in Dharma
Take refuge daily in the Buddha (teacher), Dharma (teachings/truth), and Sangha (community) to ground yourself in spiritual principles and remember what is truly important amidst impermanence. This practice serves as a reminder of life’s preciousness and helps manage the ‘addiction to self’ by bringing one back to truth.
3. Integrate 12 Steps, Dharma
Merge 12-step principles with Buddhist practice by acknowledging powerlessness over the mind and body, identifying mindfulness or Dharma as a higher power, and turning your will over to love or mindfulness through trust and acceptance. Conduct a moral inventory to investigate past harms and present mental patterns, and commit to service after a spiritual awakening, practicing mindfulness in all affairs.
4. Cultivate Right Effort
Practice ‘right effort’ in meditation by being aware of thoughts and sensations without striving to change them, recognizing that excessive effort creates agitation and is counterproductive. Instead, patiently allow things to be as they are, and strategically know when to ‘sit back’ rather than beating yourself up for spacing out.
5. Address Biases & Self-Image
Confront biases (e.g., racism, sexism) by acknowledging their presence, which can be painful and threaten your self-image as a ‘good person.’ Engage in an ongoing ‘inventory process’ of self-exploration to heal and overcome these conditioned patterns, recognizing that facing these ‘demons’ is ultimately freeing and less threatening than repressing them.
6. Check In Before Meditation
Before beginning a meditation session, check in with your current mental and emotional state (e.g., relaxed, agitated, sleepy, depressed) to set realistic expectations and practice self-compassion. This helps avoid unrealistic expectations and self-criticism during the sit.
7. Meditation for Stress Relief
Use meditation to find calming relief, especially during stressful times. Be patient, as it may take 20-30 minutes for the mind to settle and for a sense of ‘cooling’ and normalcy to arise, offering a relief similar to that sought from external sources.
8. Acknowledge Personal Powerlessness
Recognize and accept powerlessness over addictive substances, thoughts, and even the body, understanding that this acceptance doesn’t mean succumbing but rather changing one’s relationship to these things. This is a foundational step in recovery.
9. Identify Higher Power
Identify mindfulness, loving kindness, or the Dharma itself as a ‘higher power’ that can restore sanity, using meditation to calm a chaotic mind daily. This offers an alternative for those who struggle with traditional religious language.
10. Turn Will Over to Care
Practice turning your will and life over to the care of love or mindfulness, viewing this as a process of trust, letting go, and acceptance in your spiritual journey.
11. Conduct Moral Inventory
Conduct a searching and fearless moral inventory, investigating past harms and present mental patterns that cause harm, then share it, let go of negative findings, and make amends. This aligns with the Dharma’s emphasis on investigation and letting go.
12. Practice Daily Meditation
Incorporate meditation into your daily routine as a direct practice for spiritual growth and self-awareness, as it is a core component of the 12 steps.
13. Service After Awakening
After experiencing a spiritual awakening, commit to carrying the message of recovery and practicing its principles (or mindfulness) in all aspects of life, spontaneously engaging in service to others. This provides purpose and reinforces growth.
14. Vigilance Against Complacency
Remain vigilant against complacency in recovery, recognizing that the desire for past addictive behaviors can resurface. Actively maintain awareness to prevent relapse.
15. Explore Diverse Recovery
Be open to diverse recovery approaches, as different methods work for different individuals and not everyone needs the same intensity or tools.
16. Advanced: Sit and Wait
For experienced meditators, consider a ‘sit and wait’ approach, focusing on stillness and quiet rather than specific techniques, as the true work of meditation may arise from prolonged quietude. This involves being aware of the ‘big picture’ (body, sound, mind, mood) and holding it as an open space, potentially letting go of intense efforting.
7 Key Quotes
The end point being, if I can cut to the end of the story, that we're clinging to self. Because it's the thought, it turns out, as we get deep into this, that the thoughts are what define us, what create this idea of a self and letting go of thoughts is a threat to that existence of ego. So that's the ultimate addiction is the addiction to self.
Kevin Griffin
People are more afraid of ego death, of making a fool of yourself in public than they are of actually dying.
Kevin Griffin
We seem to be of, and I'm going to be a little cute here, of two minds about the self. Because on the one hand, it's terrifying to have our sense of solidity threatened. On the other hand, we're looking for experiences where we are, quote unquote, blown away or transcended, where the self, where the chatter drops away.
Dan Harris
The only thing that sucks worse is not doing it. Because then you're just, you're carried away by the addiction all the time.
Kevin Griffin
America is not my refuge. The Democratic Party isn't my refuge. Joe Biden isn't my refuge, you know? My refuge is the truth, the Dharma. And the truth is everything is impermanent.
Kevin Griffin
To become a jazz musician, you have to practice all your scales, learn all the music theory, put in hours and hours, years of study. And then when you get up on stage, forget everything you learned and just play.
Kevin Griffin
Those things that we repress, right, are the things that cause us the most pain. And they become, like you said, monsters that they grow far larger than they really are. Once we face them, once we face our demons, they're much less threatening and dangerous than we imagine them to be.
Kevin Griffin