Chinese Culture and Love Addiction (with Ava King)
1. Cultivate Intrinsic Happiness
Strive to find happiness and fulfillment internally, independent of external factors like success, relationships, or social validation, simply by being yourself.
2. Detach Self-Esteem from Outcomes
Separate your self-worth from external achievements or validation, such as artistic success or social media engagement, to reduce anxiety and fear of failure.
3. Address Root Feelings of Addiction
Recognize that the core of addiction lies in underlying feelings of shame, inadequacy, or discomfort experienced when the addictive substance or behavior is absent, and focus on addressing these deeper emotional issues.
4. Address Root Causes of Insecurity
Before pursuing external changes like plastic surgery, reflect on whether your unhappiness stems from internal self-esteem issues, as external alterations may only shift rather than resolve underlying insecurities.
5. Overcome Fear to Give Your All
Work to conquer the fear of failure, as it can prevent you from fully committing and giving your absolute best to your endeavors due to the perceived deeper rejection if you fail after maximum effort.
6. Leverage Art for Personal Growth
Utilize the artistic path as a powerful means for personal development, especially in building self-confidence and authentic self-expression, by creating work that genuinely reflects who you are.
7. Embrace Intrinsic Artistic Drive
If you feel an undeniable, persistent urge to create, acknowledge this as an intrinsic calling rather than merely a choice, and pursue your artistic path as a fundamental aspect of your being.
8. Commit to the Act of Creation
Define your artistic commitment by the pure act of creating, rather than by external measures of success, focusing on being an artist regardless of fame or financial outcomes.
9. Show Authentic Self in Art
Strive for authenticity in your public artistic presence by being comfortable showing your true self, rather than tailoring your image to seek approval, allowing people to accept or reject you based on who you genuinely are.
10. Maintain Lifelong Addiction Awareness
Cultivate a lifelong awareness of your addictive tendencies, even if you are ‘using responsibly’ or in recovery, because the addict brain is deeply ingrained and can always resurface.
11. Seek Unconditional Support in Recovery
If you are struggling with addiction and experience a slip, attend a 12-step meeting and be honest about what happened, as the community offers unconditional support and welcomes you back without judgment.
12. Find a Symbol of Trust
If you don’t believe in a traditional higher power, find something, even a simple object like a doorknob, to trust in as a symbol that things will be okay, especially during moments of anxiety or despair.
13. Identify Unmanageable Emotions
To determine if intense emotional responses to relationships constitute an addiction, assess if these feelings make your life unmanageable, prevent you from functioning, or cause extreme highs and lows that take over your life.
14. Self-Assess for Love Addiction
If you suspect you might be a love addict, consider answering the 40 self-assessment questions provided by the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLA) program; answering yes to more than 12 suggests you may have a problem and could benefit from the program.
15. Use Plastic Surgery for Confidence
Consider plastic surgery if it genuinely helps you feel more confident and improves your self-perception, as it can be a valid tool for personal well-being.
16. Appreciate Chosen Beauty
When complimenting someone’s appearance who has had plastic surgery, acknowledge and appreciate the effort and choice involved, as it reflects their intentional decision and investment.
17. Deliver Difficult News Indirectly
When delivering an unfavorable message from a superior in China, frame it to make the superior appear benevolent and caring, rather than direct or stingy, to maintain social harmony and achieve the desired outcome.
18. Navigate Age-Guessing in China
When asked to guess someone’s age in China, guess approximately 10 years younger than they appear, then pivot the conversation to compliment their methods for maintaining youth.
19. Facilitate Fun at Chinese Karaoke
When at Chinese karaoke or social events, focus on ensuring others have a good time and encouraging them to sing, rather than showcasing your own vocal talent, especially if you are an invited entertainer.
20. Integrate Work and Social Life in China
Participate in company social activities like dinners and karaoke in China to be seen as a good employee, as work and personal life divisions are less distinct in that culture.
21. Show Respect Through Drinking
In China, show respect or seek favors from a higher-status individual by drinking more than them at a dinner table, often by offering to drink two for every one of theirs.
22. Build Business Trust in China
To build trust in Chinese business relationships, engage in social drinking with partners, as getting drunk together is often seen as a way to reveal true character and solidify connections.