Dealing with our "groupstruckness" and "boundedness" (with Katja Grace)

1. Overcome Group Struck Behavior

Act when you know something is wrong, even if others aren’t, as social pressure can lead to collective inaction, especially in emergencies or when facing risks like pandemics.

2. Set Explicit Social Norms

Actively define and communicate desired social rules for group interactions, especially in new or ambiguous settings, to encourage specific behaviors (e.g., leaving conversations freely).

3. Manipulate Environment for Choices

Proactively arrange your physical and digital surroundings to make desired options more salient and accessible, increasing the likelihood you’ll consider and choose them.

4. Form Automatic Habits

Build routines so that desired behaviors become automatic, reducing the need for willpower and conscious decision-making at each choice point.

5. Adopt Principles as Pre-Decisions

Establish clear principles in advance (e.g., “always tell the truth”) to guide your actions in recurring situations, saving cognitive effort and promoting consistent behavior.

6. Practice Comfort Zone Expansion

Intentionally engage in harmless, uncomfortable activities to build resilience against social discomfort and the fear of looking “weird” when acting independently.

7. Seek Objective Evidence

When facing potential problems, look for objective data or external validation to justify your concerns, making it easier to act without fear of social judgment.

8. Find Fun Task Versions

If a beneficial activity feels like a chore, seek out enjoyable alternatives that achieve the same goal, making it more likely you’ll stick with it.

9. Prioritize Good Situations

Instead of rigid long-term plans, develop a strong sense of what constitutes a “good situation” and move in that general direction, allowing for flexibility and adaptation.

10. Build Identity with Principles

Internalize your principles to the point where they become part of your identity, fostering automatic adherence and signaling your values to others.

11. Use Plausible Deniability

Create or utilize excuses (e.g., needing the restroom) to gracefully exit social situations or deviate from norms without perceived social punishment.

12. Gracefully Exit Conversations

When ready to move on from a conversation, simply state, “It’s really nice to meet you,” with a warm tone, rather than feeling obligated to provide an excuse.

13. Avoid Ruthless Metric Optimization

Be wary of intensely optimizing for a single quantitative metric, as it rarely encapsulates true value and can lead to perverse or undesirable outcomes.

14. Utilize Multiple Metrics

Instead of one perfect metric, track multiple imperfect indicators, alternating focus between them, to get a holistic view and avoid over-optimizing any single dimension.

15. Recognize Metrics as Proxies

Always remember that quantitative metrics are mere correlations, not the true things you care about, which are often complex and best described qualitatively.

16. Be Mindful of Sacred Goods

Avoid quantifying deeply meaningful personal interactions (e.g., time with children, friendships) as it can change the nature of the relationship and be perceived as distasteful.

17. Model Your Future Self

When planning behavior change, envision your future self as a separate entity and design interventions (like reminders) to guide their choices effectively.

18. Conduct Monthly Life Ratings

Regularly assess different dimensions of your life to track progress and identify areas for improvement, using a heuristic approach to personal development.

19. Suppress Ulterior Motive Thoughts

In personal relationships, avoid consciously entertaining thoughts about how the relationship benefits you strategically, as this can undermine genuine connection.