Living a life of service to others (with Tasshin Fogleman)

Jan 12, 2023 1h 17m 19 insights Episode Page ↗
Spencer Greenberg speaks with Tosheen Fogelman, a quasi-monk, about living a life of service, loving kindness, and maximizing deep benefit. They discuss intentional thought, emotional awareness, and a purpose-driven approach to life.
Actionable Insights

1. Control Thoughts Intentionally

Actively choose to think certain thoughts and choose not to think others, as thinking is an action that shapes your mental landscape. This practice, rooted in Buddhist principles, empowers you to cultivate beneficial internal states.

2. Practice Loving Kindness Daily

Intentionally generate positive, loving thoughts and feelings for yourself and others, using mental images or verbal phrases. This meditation technique makes you happier, spreads warmth, and influences kind behavior in everyday interactions.

3. Treat Yourself with Kindness

Avoid self-critical or unkind thoughts, extending the same respect and compassion to yourself that you would offer to others. This prevents self-harm and aligns with the principle of benefiting all beings, including yourself.

4. Value Every Small Action

Recognize every action, no matter how minor (e.g., folding clothes, choosing words), as an opportunity to do good for yourself and others. This perspective fosters self-respect and kindness, making choices that contribute positively to the world.

5. Practice Intentional Speech

Adhere to guidelines for speech: ensure what you say is useful, relevant, kind (in both words and state of mind), and timely. This approach cultivates positive interactions, avoids conflict, and promotes a happy and useful presence both online and verbally.

6. Cultivate Self-Awareness in Speech

Pay close attention to the feedback received after each speech act, such as facial expressions or responses, to continuously refine your communication. View every interaction as an opportunity for improvement, learning from the information gained.

7. Develop Body Awareness for Thoughts

Learn to recognize the subtle physical sensations in your body that often precede verbal thoughts, especially negative ones. This awareness allows you to choose not to engage with unwanted thoughts before they fully form.

8. Actively Seek Good in Situations

When facing difficulties, simultaneously work to change external circumstances and reframe your perspective to see things more positively. This dual approach allows for improvement while also enhancing your internal experience.

9. Open Your Emotional Heart

Cultivate awareness in your chest region, allowing yourself to fully feel whatever emotions are present, even if they are painful. This practice, often supported by loving kindness, leads to internal peace and more pleasant interactions with others.

10. Prioritize Joy in Service

Choose service projects and actions that are genuinely fun and enjoyable for you, ensuring they also benefit others. This approach prevents burnout, promotes sustainability, and aligns with the principle of not harming any being, including yourself.

11. Embrace a Dynamic Life Purpose

View your life’s purpose as an evolving journey, continuously steering towards activities that are both enjoyable and beneficial. This allows for unexpected discoveries and a deeper alignment between your desires and the world’s needs.

12. Identify Your Personal “Gift”

Understand your unique “gift” as something you are excited and enjoy giving, which inherently serves and benefits others. This framework helps connect your personal passions with opportunities to contribute positively to the world.

13. Empower Others’ Purpose

Actively seek to understand and support the purpose, vow, or “gift” of those around you by asking questions about their strengths, joys, and aspirations. This helps you identify how you can best assist them in their desire to be of service.

14. Understand Strengths & Weaknesses

Develop a non-judgmental assessment of your own and others’ strengths and weaknesses. This sober understanding helps in making better decisions about interactions and collaborations.

15. Provide Skillful Feedback

When offering feedback on weaknesses, ensure your words are accurate, useful, kind (in both content and intent), and delivered at the right time and context. This high-challenge communication skill allows for constructive input without causing harm.

16. Adopt a Portfolio Project Approach

Manage multiple projects simultaneously to avoid boredom and overwhelm, balancing different interests and preventing over-reliance on a single endeavor. This strategy provides flexibility and resilience in your work.

17. Create Mutually Supportive Projects

Intentionally structure your multiple projects so they feed into each other and create positive feedback loops. This synergy allows for a snowball effect, where improvements in one area enhance the progress of all.

18. Speak Genuine Kindnesses

Make an effort to genuinely say kind and honest things to people, including strangers, in your daily interactions. This practice often elicits instant positive feedback, reinforcing the beneficial impact of your words.

19. Adopt a Service-Oriented Life

Dedicate your existence to being of service, helping people, and traveling to connect with and assist others. This simple, honest way of life is deeply connected to personal relationships and a commitment to service.